Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Recap


And here we go…. on to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part One Recap… Sofa King many posts today.  Lea has a shit ton of  borrowed diamonds on. Good for her for being able to borrow, go girl!  Andy goes gently with the RHOM. I can already tell he does not care. Way too much fashion talk. So many softball questions. What is it like living in a tourist destination. Lisa says nobody works. Lea is trying to back her up. Even softballs make the girls fight for attention.

More softball wedding stuff.  The hot Brazilian guy broke his arm at Joanna’s wedding. Joanna apparently has been trashing Adrianna’s wedding because she was SO LATE.  Andy says that looking back,  making your guests change twice and being incredibly late was disrespectful?  Everyone seems to agree and Adrianna (whose name Andy refuses to say correctly) is pissed. So Andy asked what Adrianna thought about Joanna’s dress. She said it reminded her of a Flamenco dress. YES! I did not think of that before!  Andy has now pitted bride against bride and it is working.


Andy asks why Joanna bitches about Lisa not having a job. Joanna says that Lenny jokes about it all the time. Joanna sticks up for her.  BTW Joanna and Lea are on opposite couches.  Here we go with I worked hard my entire life.  Andy the JACKHOLE does not think Canadians are immigrants? Why Andrew? Because they are white? They are fucking immigrants like everyone else you racist, misogynistic shithead. Okay carry on. I have PMS. Joanna’s hair looks ridiculous.

Someone asked Lisa if she feels bad for buying a 10K Birkin bag when she did not earn the money. I think this question is ridiculous. If her husband buys here a 10K bag WTF do you care?  She responds, how do you know I didn’t earn the money? Alexia says what job did she have?  Lisa turns the question around and BOOM!  OWNED BY ALEXIA. I did not know Alexia was a special education teacher for 13 years before she met Herman. I love her more everyday!

Oh here we go. Andy has his claws out now saying he read online that Joanna said if Lisa wanted a baby she should stop partying so much and try to be healthy.  Lisa starts to cry and  go ballistic. I would like to point out that I am NOT fond of Joanna but she is right, liked a stopped clock is sometimes on this one.  Lea does not open her mouth to defend Lisa. Joanna keeps saying she is not going below the belt and she is her friend and says again, please don’t make me go below the belt.  Andy says, “You understand that this is Lisa’s Achilles heel and you hit it.”  Way to pass the buck Andrew. You set them all up for this sort of public ridicule.

Joanna grins like a hyena. The backstage camera! WHUT? Follows Lisa and she is pissed. I imagine she did threaten to sue.

Joanna claims she is getting a bit more sex. Did I mention HER HAIR IS HORRIBLE? Lea is the only one who seems to be getting regular sex.  Alexia never mentions anything but has a smile on her face.

WOAH,  Adrianna says she heard that Joanna came to Brandi somewhere and tried to embace her and say she was her favorite on RHOBH and she just gave her a cold handshake because she destroyed Yolanda’s marriage to Mohammed by sleeping with him.  Adrianna calls Joanna a homewrecker for destroying Yolanda’s marriage. I love that Yo dumped a bazillionaire for cheating, btw.  Joanna says nothing happened while they where married and they were just friends. #KarmaAwaits

Adrianna suggests that Romain is gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  lolololool Thanks for being real, Adrianna Joanna says, “Yeah because Romain really looks gay.” Andy is all offended like, looks gay, that is so homophobic AS IF HE DOESN’T KNOW! Moments earlier Andy perked right the fuck up when Joanna discussed a three-way… just wondering why Andy seems the last to know.

Joanna is pissssed.  Adrianna is angry that Mohammed was at her wedding. EVERYONE is screaming A-drianna  and Andy is still all Ah drianna. Joanna is pissed that A-drianna said Romain can’t get it up. Well, that is another possibility. But I can’t imagine ANY straight male who was available not fucking Joanna.  She a moron, but she is HOT! She must have done something really bad in another life.

Lea is totally calling out Adrianna on her con job. I actually believe Lea.  Lea says she wrote a check  for 15K  and then  raised the money to get 350K to make sure her kid would have a scholarship.   I have to be on Lea’s side this time.  Lea was setting up Adrianna up on dates.  I believe Lea. She set him up on dates to go on private jets and did all sorts of things for Adrianna.  Yet the official Bravo PR statement makes it LOOK LIKE  Lea is not accepting “the olive branch.”

Lisa is DIGUSTING  backstage. Degrading her makeup artist and being a diva. I LOVE THESE SCENES ( Hai JaMail!) Oh wait that was JOANNA’s makeup artist Lisa went after. Clearly if there is another season,  Lisa AIN’T ONNIT.

Lisa says if her makeup artist has to leave she is leaving. AND SCENE. I just can’t go on I am tired.
















Filed under Ana Quincoces, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

45 responses to “Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Recap

  1. Nonottoday

    Clealy you were tired by the end of the episode because Lisa was just defending herself afte Johanna’s makeup artist came to her dressing room to attack her all while Johanna smirks and threatens to leave if he’s asked to go. Honestly she looked so horrendous she should have kicked him out!

    • Twilly

      Joanna takes great pleasure in taking really deep digs at Lisa. Making fun of another woman’s fertility struggles is disgusting, no matter how you feel about someone. Joanna is no spring chicken. She may end up having problems of her own. She shouldn’t be bringing that up PERIOD.

      • Katrina

        I think Joanna says whatever us on her mind. She does not have a filter (Like Brandi G.). I don’t think she was trying to be mean, but Lisa is very sensitive.

  2. Tamara

    Ok so I know I’m headed to the top of your shit list because….. I admit to not watching RHOM! But I watched the reunion and it was fun and I totally loved the backstage camera. I hope they make that part of all the reunions from now on. Love you and get some rest!!

  3. pfffttt

    Actually, Tony is JoAnna’s makeup artist and he, out of the blue, started cussing Lisa from what I watched. He was just cussing her and calling her names and said she was ugly. Meanwhile, he looked like he good benefit from joining Weight Watchers. I hate when people call others “ugly” when they themselves are not the most beautiful person in the room.

  4. LOL thanks for the shot out. You were totally spot on. No arguing from me… I pretty much despise Joanna for her treatment of Lisa. What has she ever done to her to warrant all of these low blows and digs? Nothing. I believe Adriana in her feud with Joanna.

  5. SB

    Lisa looks like a young Jocelyn Wildenstein. TOTAL cat face…she better watch it with the surgery and what not.
    LOL @ Joanna’s hair, very 18th century of her!

  6. Urethra Franklin

    Damn these bitches were brutal tonight. Only New Jersey was worse because they were related. But I do believe Lea that Adrianna probably only used her for her “connections”

    Drama: A-
    Fashion: D+

    Alexia’s: similar to Cynthia’s reunion dress except for the heavy over jeweled keyhole & neck area. The nice emerald earrings did not look right with it.

    Adriana: Fail. If there was more boob coverage, only Endora from Bewitched could wear all that chiffon.

    Lisa: Beauty pageant dress. #Yuck

    Joanna: Bitch this was not the Golden Globes. And the matchie poo earrings and necklace are a no no. Wear only one or the other.

    Lea: My brain shut down after seeing floor length royal blue sequins.

  7. Ericzku

    Lea’s diamonds were nice, but Alexia’s emerald earrings? TO. DIE. FOR.!!

    Adrianna’s gown looked just like the curtains my sister had in her bedroom…when she was 8 years old!

    • Twilly

      I LOVE emeralds! Could be because they are my birthstone, but green is also my favorite color. Something so regal about emeralds. Rubys too. More so than diamonds to me.

  8. lori

    I know a lot of people don’t like Lea, and yes, she is far from perfect, but I think at this point she is actually my favorite Miami housewife. Adrianna is beyond ungrateful. Lea and Lisa seemed to be the only ones who didn’t start any of the pettiness or sling any accusations tonight, besides Lea proving that whole Adrianna/tuition thing, which she certainly had every right to do. Andy really got on my nerves too, saying that he loves proof and then in the next breath saying he’s so over it. Johanna may be pretty on the outside, but it sure doesn’t seem to go any deeper than that. She’s so mean. From what I got, Johanna’s make up artist used to be Lisa’s make up artist too. I think he was absolutely awful, and Johanna and her ugly on the inside self loved every second of it. She’s such a good friend. Even though Lisa drove me crazy this season, she really took a beating tonight and I felt bad for her. I don’t know why they made such a big deal about her not working and all of that. I mean big deal… she married a rich guy and doesn’t have to work. She is far from the only woman (especially in those circles) to do that. In another episode she said that when they got married that that was part of the agreement… that he didn’t want her to work. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who wants his wife to be dependent on him. I don’t know how that’s anyone else’s business. I didn’t enjoy tonight’s show like I thought I would. Maybe I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to watch it. I actually found it to be quite depressing to tell you the truth.

    • Twilly

      So true about Lisa and Lenny. They agreed that she would stay home and raise their children, which is why she’s so sensitive about her inability to conceive. She has said she feels like she isn’t holding up her end of the agreement. The stress isn’t helping her conceive! She needs to get away from these women and this show and focus on having a family.

  9. Joanna can dish it but she sure can’t take it her makeup artist was out of line so lea didn’t pay for Adriana’s son tuition I’m confused and if Adriana wanted to be hooked up with wealthy men why did she marry and stay with Fredric that doesn’t make sense

    • Katrina

      Lea’s point is Adrianna was prenteding to be single, while she was married. Lea was hooking her up because she thought Adrianna was available single mother. This is why Lea is upset.

  10. I get that being from Canada is still being an “immigrant” but Lisa tried to play up the “I’ve had it rough” angle and one of her examples was being an immigrant. Being an immigrant from Canada is NOT the same as being an immigrant from almost anywhere else so I still think that whole shtick coming from Lisa was bullshit.

    • Celestine

      My husband is Canadian. It took almost 2 years and thousands of American dollars for his visas and his “greencard” to be processed. Not to mention the time and travel to countless appointments, interviews and biometrics meetings he had to go through. And we’re still waiting on his social security number to arrive. The system isn’t more relaxed just because someone is from Canada. Trust me.

      • I was thinking in terms of ignorant people making it tougher for an immigrant who looks less “American” but you’re right, I hadn’t really thought of all the things you mentioned.

  11. bombero129

    I feel so bad for Lisa, Joanna was WAY OUT OF LINE with the baby comments, that is just not something that you say to anyone. Coming from someone who wants to start a family, if i ever found out that i could not get pregnant on my own and i had miscarriages, i would be devastated. That was SO WRONG of her. Why was Joanna so harsh to Lisa tonight, she has been tweeting that they are not friends, but this season it seemed they were?

    • Twilly

      So agree. Somethings are just off limits no matter what. I am also hoping to start a family soon too, so part of my sympathizes with Lisa. Joanna is a cold, selfish person. She has no compassion for anyone, but expects everyone to be understanding about her “struggle”.

  12. Shellbelle

    I was tickled that Adrianna brought up Romain being gay and that he couldn’t get it up. You’re right, Andy did seen ready to take Joanna up on her threesome offer… Maybe he knows something she doesn’t?

  13. Cali

    I am surprise that per Bravo Ratings. com that this show will not be renew. I enjoy watching whenever , I got a chance.

    • pfffttt

      That website is ran by Simon, who is the husband of Alex McCord formerly of RHONY.

      RHOM may get low ratings FOR A HOUSEWIFE SHOW, but I’m sure it gets better ratings than Top Chef and some of the other shows that get renewed season after season. I mean, I don’t know anyone who watches Top Chef…

  14. Sarah

    What annoys me the MOST, on any housewives show, is the self righteous accusations of how one of the women “don’t worrkkkk!!!” This show is called “The Real Housewives”, and by housewife the average person pictures a married woman who takes care of her husband and family, not these random mishmash of single/engaged/whatever women working in various sectors of the entertainment industry. This franchise is specifically about wealthy housewives who most likely have hired help, like many wealthy people do, and to watch their various interactions/fights/parties.

    Honestly, it is not like Joanna is a college educated professional, like an accountant, a nurse, a teacher, lawyer, physical therapist, etc. From what I understand is she is a model who gets her makeup done and takes pictures… and it is none of her business whether her friend “works” or not! Its not like Lisa is abusing the government for welfare or stealing. She is married to a wealthy man and is trying to start a family and be a Mommy.

    I hate it how on every housewife show there is one wife who everyone is pitted against because she does not “work”,, becasue apparently it is some kind of crime to be a full time and mother. Remember how Alexis was called a “kept woman”, because her husband supports her ? Oh yeah, shes got 3 kids. And everyone is ganging up on Lisa because “she does not work and I am sooooo HARDWORKING!” Please. None of these women RHOM except the dentist karent could hold that title imho. And karent never makes accusations like that to other women! Joanna seems to only be friends with women who are “self-made, hard workers” (in the entertainment sectors) , heck if any of my friends were married to wealthy men and didnt have to work i would just be like happy for them!

  15. Katrina

    I don’t think it matters if Lisa works or not, that is between her and her husband. I think there is such a negative conotation about women who don’t work and have a husband or weathy husband to support them being called gold diggers. People like to label women for some reason. Not all housewives are wealthy.

  16. bunniecarrot

    Maybe a little harsh but Joanna was right. I’m 25 now but up until last year my husband and I were trying to have our second child. I had a lot of stress at work, and each day I drank after putting my (now 5 year old) daughter to bed. It took almost 3 years for me to get pregnant with my baby boy. I left the stressful job and stopped drinking and 1 week later I was pregnant. stress and poor diet takes a toll on conceive chances. And Lisa is up in her 30’s her “equipment” is a lot less ripe than mine were @ 22. If she wants to have babies so bad she should change her lifestyle some

    • Mary

      Joanna was out of line. Instead of tweeting that, why didn’t she confront her friend face to face and tell her. Joanna is a narcissitic bitch!!!! Her husband is most defintely gay and that marriage will not last. How can you stick up for that disgusting piece of trash??? Sounds like she has fuc **ed every man from Mohammed to Joe!!!!

      • bunniecarrot

        Harsh? Yes. Now as far as Joanna’s mouth goes most of you ladies love Love LOVE BRANDI!!!! Brandi is disgusting, foul mouthed and behaves like a whore. Brandi cannot have an adult convo where she formulates words properly without cussin I hate people on blogs with double standards.

      • I don’t care about Joanna’s mouth or being a whore. I can’t stand her for her PETA stupidity.

        As for Brandi, I’ve loved her in the past despite TeeCee trying to point out her faults, of which she has many. But this season on RHOBH, I believe Brandi and I will part ways. I really like Joyce. and Lisa. And Brandi is expected not to be kind to either.

    • Sarah

      Maybe, who knows – but Joanna is not a mother, or someone who appears to have the knowledge or experience to say such a thing. By the way, if she wanted to help Lisa with advice she could have told her so privately and in a sensitive manner – not to the world.

  17. DeeDee

    I didn’t watch the season but caught the reunion show last night. OMG, Adrianna: “I don’t want a man with a limp penis” (perhaps not verbatim) was HILARIOUS!!! Excellent point, though, why be with someone for 6 years and then you get married NOT to have sex with him? Especially when she professes to be “very sexual.” ???? What biyatch!

  18. Ame

    I loved the reunion last night! What was Johanna threatening to go below the belt about with Lisa?She said something about her drinkingisn’t that below the belt enough?

  19. Knilja

    Lisa is only 25 years old.
    She has a lot of growing up to do. She’s way out of her league with these more experienced women .
    Her age IMO is her inability to communicate with these women without fighting.
    Adrianna IMO is a harpy ..
    I don’t care what ethnicity she is class comes in all races and she has NONE

  20. Paul

    After Joanna acting as vile and smug as possible, it made my night to hear Brandi Glanville (in response to a nasty tweet from Joanna) say that Mohammed said that Joanna has some very personal hygiene issues to address. You can find the video on You Tube and it is amazing!! Joanna is such a nasty piece of work.

  21. Wait…Lisa is 25??? Dear god. Her husband must have used second hand plastic salvaged from Anna Nicole Smith or something. Lisa looks 40!!!!

    Joanna ( who I don’t really care for and who I still think is operating under Lea’s “sic ’em” order) was not making fun of Lisa’s infertity. She was making fun of her using it as a storyline and to be relevant on the show. It’s a hard way to learn the lesson, but if something is really really personal to you, you should never share it on that type if forum unless you are fully prepared for the biggest assholes on earth (me for example) to say the most vile and hurtful things imagine able.

    Lisa’s attempts to fix everything and be hbic were naive and narcissist.

    I don’t get why marysol was not there.

    Lived Adriana’s limp penis rant.

    • Sarah

      Lisa discussed her fertility problems last season as well. I know that a lot of people in that situation would rather keep it on the DL because theyt dont want pitying glances, but for others it helps to talk it out and discuss it publicly. I think it became her storyline because it is so upsetting that it consumes her every day.

      What is not appropriate, is to publicly air out that your husband never “performs”,,,,,that is so humiliating for joanna to say that about him, now everybody is discussing whether he is gay, and laughing at him… how could she do that to him ?! Tell your mom, your therapist, and your best friend, not the world !!

  22. Alexia is my favorite, too, Tamara. I’m just catching up on all the episodes of RHOM right now. I love the scenes with Alexia and Frankie in therapy because my mom has Aphasia, too (she had a stroke). The physical and speech therapists working with my mom are amazing, and it’s nice to see that Frankie has great therapists helping him, too! Frankie has come a long way because Alexia has been there for him, despite reality show drama and Peter’s acting out.

  23. Trisha Kaiser

    What is the deal with Marysol? She is barely on the show. She is hilarious and has great one liners. I miss her!

    • I thought she probably asked to be a “friend of” instead of full time because of Mama Elsa’s stroke. But after that reunion where she seemed so desperate for airtime, I am starting to think maybe it wasn’t a voluntary demotion!

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