Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Faint Praise

rhobhseason4We start with Yolanda’s  AMAZING house.  I cannot tear my eyes away long enough to blog. I love her and I hate that she will end up not being on “my team” this season.  Probably. Oh God. Yo is doing a master cleanse will medicating for Lyme Disease.

David and Yolanda are off to her doctor’s appointment. David is much more supportive of Yo than Peter was for Cynthia last night. David agrees that he is doing a great job being supportive.  Yolanda has been through hell.  David carries her Hermes bag and rubs her feet. Yolanda is getting her port taken out. Gigi is on the master cleanse and is all light-headed and weak and afraid to ride the horse. MASTER CLEANSE IS NO BUENO!

Lisa is still on Dancing With The Stars and I swear we did this last season. I guess it was just all the new coverage.  Kyle and the girls go to DWTS to support Lisa. Even Taylor Armstrong is there!  That was when Brandi had the mysteriously burned hand so she was wearing gloves to DWTS. Go look at the picture I never did find out what happened. Or if I did I have forgotten.  Taylor’s married boyfriend John is there with her. They are engaged now. After the show they all go out to dinner with Lisa and Gleb. Kyle and Kim watch Lisa faint on DWTS in the last scene.  They are saying she if faking it because she doesn’t want to do the show anymore.  Wow. Do you think that is true?  Both Richards girls mock Lisa and reenact the fainting scene.

carlton-gebbia-rhobh-new-cast-member-ftrCarlton is using a calculator to do her third grader’s homework with her. Yep, she will be besties with Brandi alright. Her house reminds me of Adrienne Maloof’s monstrosity if Adrienne had been an actual witch.  Hmm, maybe Adrienne was as actual witch.  Carlton thinks the cross and the pentagram are both beautiful symbols. I can see how the device used to kill Jesus and the prominent symbol for demonic worship go hand in hand. Carlton and David are very into fitness. They take their kids out for an intense workout regularly.  Carlton is the disciplinarian in the family.  She also swears in front of her kids and seems to have a minimal vocabulary. Not because of the swearing. But she uses words like angina that she is unable to define for her kids when they ask.

Brandi is moving into a new house. She called her mother to help her move in. I love Brandi’s new house but I HATE the black chain link fence around her pool.  Can she remove it in California and just have a wooden privacy fence around the entire property instead?  Brandi and her mom are very close but her father was very upset about her ill-fitting Oscar dress and is not a fan of her fake tits. He’s not speaking to Brandi. This is the dad who used to be naked all the time, and as he aged he has become  more  conservative.

Kyle has a lunch with the two new girls. and Kyle’s friend Sharon. WHO? Carlton is telling a story about a bird that flew into the house and their black cat (she has to play up the witch thing and let us know it is a BLACK cat)  caught the bird and her son was crying.  In the middle of the story, Kyle excuses herself to get the wine and Carlton was deeply offended. Kyle, this one is going to put a spell on you if you don’t piss her off. Carlton is suddenly trying to tell us that she is a bisexual dominatrix. I don’t think Kyle will get it but Joyce did.  Joyce met her husband on a blind date. She is submissive in the relationship with her husband and Carlton senses weakness. MISTAKE.  A bee comes along, they kill it and Carlton the doorwoman has some sort of Buddhist meltdown.  The other girls kill a bee and Carlton becomes a major buzzkill. Irony.

Lisa has Brandi and Yolanda over. Everyone is in love and having a cute cozy lunch. FOR NOW.  Lisa is sort of the kind that jabs a bit too much. In jest, but still. It can become tiresome.  Table talk is rather anti-Kyle.  There are too many housewives on this show. So we are having dueling housewife parties.  Kyle is trying to scoop up the new girls since she is on the outs with everyone.

Kim’s storyline is Kingsley. I expect Kingsley to be put down if she does not get the dog under control.  She has hired a trainer.  Kingsley tries to attack him instantly. Kim’s son Chad has been brought in to try to control the dog. I love the dog training actually.

Lisa is at SUR and she and Ken are opening a gay bar named Pump. heh. Ken is worried about permission from West Hollywood. And in fact now, there is a huge lawsuit with the um, “Pumps” and someone who thinks they scammed them from the space or something.  It’s a demo at the moment and a total rebuild on a major West Hollywood corner.

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Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Bravo, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Reality Show, Reality TV, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

44 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Faint Praise

  1. JoJo

    Can’t wait for it to air on West Coast. In meantime, I also immediately thought from the 1st episode & previews, etc, Kim’s whole storyline is her pup. In this isolated case, is there anything in the rules for a special request exception to call her “Kimsley” – it’s not mean:)??

  2. Gingersnap

    Carlton is a kook. She loves the cross and the pentagram. Okey dokey. This is confusing to me since it’s hard for me to love the symbol of evil and think it’s a good thing. I don’t like swastikas either. She’s also very anal. Lawrence on Fashion Queens didn’t know who she was and when shown a picture, he thought he was looking at a transsexual. HA! He was peeing on himself a little bit for that ASSumption!

    Kyle was rude for interrupting Carlton’s uninteresting story…you could tell, she just checked out of the conversation like turning a light off. NEXT! As any good witch knows, one can’t use magic except for good, to use magic to hurt someone is to bring it back to oneself. Hope Carlton has a lot of self control, or there’s gonna be a heap of hurt on someone otherwise. That is, if you believe in witchcraft. That chick has a lot of issues and a lot of money. She can afford to be crazy.

  3. Tamara

    Well I’m sticking with Lisa this season. I do agree with you about her jabs go. People will get tired if your always poking them even if you aren’t all that serious when saying it. I remember the dancing with the stars but I think she was offered the spot right around the time of the reunion episode and that was when the taping a for this season had started as well . So it was all the press coverage that makes us think we’d watched it.
    On Twitter Brandi had showed a picture of her hand and said she had burned it. It looked pretty crappy and painful. I’m guessing probably a chemical burn.
    I feel like Carlton is going to try to hard to show us how much of real witch she is. And she’s overly sensitive or dramatic.
    I don’t think Lisa would intentionally faint. She doesn’t seem like the type to do so. Also I’ve never fainted or seen anyone personally faint in front of me either,so I have no idea how one is supposed to look when doing so.

  4. Kim looks good idk if its sobriety fillers or both I noticed a Bentley parked in front of her house Ive always thought she wasn’t doing well financially the ken brandy flirty act is tired I wish they would stop

  5. Vivaladiva

    I can hear the difference in Carlton and Lisa’s accent. Carlton seems to have a “queen’s English” almost proper accent, and Lisa has that cockney sound. I wonder if Kim’s son is the one who has the episode with mental illness. And I also love the scene with Kim and Kingsley, that dog is beautiful.

    • Jean-Pierre Khouri

      You think Carlton’s accent is closest to the Queen’s English?? Her accent is not even RP – Received Pronunciation, the standard taught in ‘public’ (private) schools – and even RP is far from the ‘Queen’s English’.

      Whether you like her or not, Lisa’s accent is far more posh than Carlton’s. (And I came across this thread from a linguistics search. I certainly watch the show when convenient, but have zero investment in the way it all plays out.)

      Carlton’s accent is one step above a chav’s. You’ve seen them – the lacquered hair, gaudy earrings, absurdly tight/revealing clothing, and visceral hostility to anyone who even accidentally implies their children’s names are strange/absurd… wait, she IS a chav! I think the oh-so-tasteful cross tattoos on the oddest area of a person’s arm seal the deal. Sorry – just my opinion!

  6. JrLeaguer

    I was curious about Carlton especially after seeing her house which in my opinion looks like she bought out the entire goth castle section of the Design Toscano catalog. I used to be on that catalog’s mailing list and wondered who bought that stuff and now I know. I googled her husband, which led to a film credit as a producer for himself and several family members. The film is “Pretty When You Cry” from 2001 and there I found a listing for Carlton Elizabeth. I figured that it had to be her cause you know, there are so many Carltons around. Here is a quote from the Wiki page: “Carlton Elizabeth (known as Carlton Lynx when she was doing softcore porn) steals the show as said girlfriend (she’s been being abused, natch) with her trashy good looks and willingness to throw her body into the role, literally, but on the whole this is one hell of an awful movie.” -Christopher Null (film critic).
    Yes, I know that Wiki can sometimes be questionable for facts, but then I went to IMDB and found a movie from 1999 where she is Carlton Gebbia. Some credits are Carlton Elizabeth, Carlton Elizabeth Gabbia and Carlton Lynx.

  7. LoriNYC

    Not sure how I feel about Carlton yet, I will give her a chance. Her house was interesting. Funny,,,,,I thought the Cher gothic design catalog went out of business. I love Brandi and the fact that she’s so unfiltered. Not a fan of Kyle but Lisa’s faint did look a bit phony. Love Kim’s dog but she needs a storyline.

  8. JrLeaguer

    Anyone else notice the dog trainer kicking the dog when he got aggressive?

    • Belinda

      And what exactly should he have done ? Ask the dog, politely, to please stop ?

      • You never kick an animal….no matter what he’s done

      • Belinda

        I agree. I would never kick a dog. If a dog should ATTACK me, I would probably kill him. My two German shepards and one English bulldog know the drill.

      • JrLeaguer

        We have two English bullies. :)

      • Belinda

        Mine cost me $5000, drools, farts,has the energy level of a brick, clings to me like Saran wrap,has chronic ear infections,has food allergies, gives stubborn a new meaning , could easily win the fugliest dog contest and yet……..JR….are they the best pets/companions EVER?

      • JrLeaguer

        Yes they are!! We also have a pug that will be 15 on November 26th! The male is more active and has enjoyed good health…the female is the allergy queen. We do grain free food to help keep the ears under control. Coconut oil and monistat help with yeasty ears too.

      • Belinda

        Thanks so much for the tips …….Monistat like in vagina ? I just switched to grain free two weeks ago because of his skin. Call of the Wild but so.o.o expensive. I feel guilty posting about our dogs. Seems disrespectful to TT and all her hard work. SORRY, TAMARA.

      • JrLeaguer

        Yes, that monistat. I would love to give other bullie tips (if that does not seem to stalkerish). We feed TOTW too. My sincere apologies to Tamara too. :)

      • No apologies necessary. I am a first time dog owner that went to rescue a dog to live in the back yard of the ghetto after a breakin. A yard dog. One that barks a lot.

        Then this stupid Sharpei mixed with something huge Rescued me instead. Wormed his way inside after one night in the yard where I sat up in the bathroom all night watching over HIM through the window. He was allegedly not potty trained, but trained ME on how and when to let him outside. I fell head over heels and am constantly researching the best food for him. I too am on TOTW, we change flavors with every giant bag. I get mine at PetSupermarket if you have one of those. It’s under $50 for the Biggest bag. It last a couple months and Banjo is 80 pounds. The mail and put online coupons for 10% or more off frequently, and allegedly give you a free bag for every ten you by. Never works for me, I think because we have swapped around a lot. Banjo has some mystery illness where death seemed possible early on. But the occaisional prednisone fixes whatever it is and he is rambunctious as ever.

        So carry on. Now if you were cat ladies, I’d have a totally different response. :)

      • Belinda

        I truly am a simpleton. I’m saying to myself “why are they saying TOTW when call starts with C ?” .Well because it’s taste….duh. We don’t have a pet supermarket specifically. Petsmart, petco. But I get delivery from Amazon. 30 lbs…$45. Budder weighs 70 lbs, I started on the 28th oct and I have about 1/2 left. JrL……not stalkerish at all. Appreciate the info. Are there grain free snacks ? TT.. your dog sounds like a winner. Can you post Banjo’s pix ? is he a least a good watchdog INSIDE? Budder doesn’t stay awake long enough to watch anything.

      • JrLeaguer

        Grain free treats are easy to find at a lot of stores, or you can make your own. There are lots of sites with good recipes. Sophie and George are great watch dogs…they would watch someone come in and take all of our stuff and then watch them walk back out.

      • Banjo gets a small flowerpot full. It’s my scooper. About 3 cups. And yes there are all kinds of grain free snacks. Newmans’ Own I think is one. I get that at the Mexican Publix where it is sometimes on sale. We are currently out of snacks. :(

        Banjo has been on the website here http://tamaratattles.com/2012/05/05/happy-cinco-de-mayo/ (not the one in the sombero) more here https://twitter.com/TamaraTattles

      • I hope my next burglars look like a Vet. Banjo is CUJO at the vet. Like no one wants to treat him CUJO.

      • JrLeaguer

        Your Banjo sounds like quite a love. Whenever the time comes for another dog, it will be a rescue. I really was ignorant to that even being an option until after we got the bullies. TOTW is more expensive than grocery store foods, but we figure that it is cheaper to spend more per bag than constant vet visits and prescriptions for skin allergies. The store that we buy from does every 10th bag free….we just bought 3 bags yesterday and got the 4th for free. If you go to my Twitter page (I follow you), @SophieSezItAll, you can see a photo of my little sloth, Sophie. :)

      • JrLeaguer

        Of course not, but I would expect that a hired “expert” especially one that himself has that breed would have a better way to show the dog that the trainer is the one in command by some other means other than kicking the dog. That does nothing other than promote the aggression that they are trying to avoid. Kingsley basically made that trainer his bitch!

      • Vivaladiva

        I also do (lamb) taste of the wild, and they carry it at Tractor Supply Company for 11.99 for the reg size bag. Which isn’t bad when you compare to blue buffalo brand at 19.99 a bag.

      • Belinda

        I drive up to Tractor Supply once a month to pick up food for the chickens, rabbits, goats and sheep. The TOTW was $50/30lbs and something else for me to lug home. Amazon $45 with free shipping ant the UPS guy brings it in to the kitchen. Thanks for the tip. Just ordered treats from Amazon. Maybe I’ll make them after the holidays. I love Banjo…those eyes. Pets are like food . Whatever someone else has always looks better than what you have.

  9. Belinda

    Carlton is a homely bore. Is she maybe 60 ? Combine her humorless, egotistical personality with her lousy taste and messed up face and you got one disaster. Joyce, on the other hand……wow.
    Is it hard to believe that Kim isn’t still doing something. That is one fucked up chick.

    • JrLeaguer

      Carlton constantly looks like someone broke wind in her presence. Judging from what I read about her “movie career” this morning…Carlton likes to get her freak on.

      • Cj

        Funny, I saw that too. I was researching her because she scared me. Those eyes! When Carlton speaks of others she seems threatening and she wants to have a problem with them because they are shocked with her shocking ways. I did not care for her, she really gave me the creeps! And why on Gods Green Earth would anybody decorate their home in that manner and then act offended when asked what religion they follow? Well, maybe because it looks like you decorated your home like the inside of an old Church or cathedral, or several old churches and cathedrals. You think? It’s very dark and so is she. And, I got goose bumps when she was threatening those poor innocent people about being shocked over her children’s “shocking” names, I mean again, it’s shocking stuff and she knows it. That woman must wake up every morning ready to SHOCK AND AWE us all. Well, I believe Carlton, you have totally impressed upon me that you’re different and shocking and scary.

  10. DeeDee

    I’m all for protecting animals, but if one is comin’ at me with ill-intentions, a kick might well be the thing that allows me to keep my limbs! The dog, on the other hand, is adorable and I’d probably fall madly in love with him too. Now, as much as Carlton creeps me out, she was right to be offended by Kyle so rudely interrupting her. She had a point, as well, about Joyce’s story — yawn… I look for Carlton to check Kyle a few times this season and I’m lookin forward to it!

    • Belinda

      ITA…you hit the nail on the head…she is TOTALLY creepy. I fell in love with Kingsley last week when he was helping Kim make the bed and then trying to crawl under. TOO cute !

  11. Tamara

    On WWHL Brandi said that Kingsley had but her. Hopefully Kim has him better trained by now.

  12. JrLeaguer

    I have figured out who Carlton reminds me of….Tabitha Coffey…only with a black weave and I think that Tabitha might actually have a more easy going personality that Carlton does.

  13. i’ve had dogs all my life and i was pretty worried watching the scenes with kingsley. i dont think the trainer kicked him, i think he was flailing about, using his knees to push the dog off him. i thought he was pretty incompetent and actually made the dog more aggressive because of it, to the point kingsley even freaked himself out.
    seeing kim with that dog set off all kinds of red flags. i’m surprised whoever set up the adoption let a weak person adopt an aggressive type of dog. it’s a recipe for disaster. you could see the dog had no respect for her and will take things up a notch. he’s still a pup but he’s strong and muscular, and he had a certain look in his eye that is not at all good. that staring thing he kept doing when the trainer brought out his own pittie is a challenge/sign of aggression. i believed brandi when she said he bit her. i hope the dog ends up rehomed with someone better able to handle him. she was saying she wants to get the breed a good rep but i think she’ll do the opposite. you really have to consider fit when you bring an animal and potential owner together. (i’ve done breed rescue (springers) and kitten fostering for many years.)

    • Belinda

      I think you are spot on. Kingsley antics are cute right now but give him another year. He needs to be owned by an Alpha Male type personality and NO WAY is that Kim.

  14. Cami

    I’m still trying to figure out why Kim adopted that dog in the first place. I was rooting for her until she went to Kylie’s house and made fun of Lisa. I want Kylie to grow up. For the last two episodes all she talks about is Lisa. I can’t wait when the girls ask her about her husband cheating on her. Doesn’t feel so good when the shoe is on the other foot. I’m surprise that Fay wasn’t at the brunch instead of the other lady. I’m side eyeing Brandi this season after I saw where her and Lisa fall out with each other. I just want to get to the episodes where everybody is fighting with Lisa and Ken.

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