American Horror Story : Coven Preview of Episode 5 Burn Witch Burn!

AHS cast floating

By: Urethra Franklin

WARNING: There are some light SPOILERS below and some of my dumb ass ideas too.

OH LAWD the Zombies are attacking the Academy because Fiona done messed with wrong WITCCHHH.  Bible-Boy who is trapped outside and Nan is trying to help him. The others are barricaded upstairs wishing like hell that the #HeadWitchInCharge was there to kick some zombie rotten-ass, and a NEW POWER is manifested by one of the young witches against the zombies…. GASP, racist Delphine & Queenie grow closer.

Delphine comes face to face with her long dead daughters. Expect a flashback scene from 1832 to see that Madame LaLaurie’s daughters can’t bear much more of their terrifying mother, and they make the MISTAKE of saying so within earshot of her. Plus you will see how Madame LaLaurie used to celebrate Halloween. This #SADISTIC bitch had her own chamber of horrors in her dining room that she would make her Halloween ball guests go into. Get ready for some gore.

Fiona is devastated because of Cordelia’s acid attack, and Mama Witch is overcome with guilt for being a bad mother, and her guilt manifests in unnerving ways. Hank comes to see Cordelia, only to be faced with Fiona’s fury… and things will not be the same between him and Cordelia, who has been changed in more ways than one…..

I’ve replayed Hank’s adulterous killing scene last week digging for clues about his storyline. There were references to 007, James Bond, agents & spies, and what sounded like updated “Bond style” music was playing when he killed Kaylee with that shiny silencer gun. I am going out on a limb, but I think he might be involved with an undercover “witch hunting” group or working for another Coven. Hank made a point to say that he “found her” online… I have other dumb theories too, but this is the one I feel strongest about, and I have a feeling that he is somehow tied in with Cordelia’s attack…just sayin’.

AHS-Coven-04-09The Witch Council, led by Myrtle, returns to take control of the Coven away from Fiona until the new Supreme is discovered, but Fiona is NOT having it. Their struggle for control involves many SECRETS, and they BOTH have them. Plus another member of the Coven finds herself with a disturbing NEW secret of her own. OH GAWD I hope there are no Minotaur babies involved. Another witch makes a return appearance, and I hope she’s singing “Gypsy”.

How #Creepy #Freaky was that tea party scene with Madison? Well Ryan Murphy teases with the following: “What Spalding puts her through in the next couple of episodes is quite remarkable… it’s the most shocking thing we’ve ever done on the show and that happened truly by accident. I thought it was a real, bizarre Grand Guignol series of scenes but they’re just very sick and twisted and oddly funny.”…….. Grand Guignol is a Parisian theater from 1897- 1962 that was known for featuring very bizarre plays and naturalistic horror shows. Normal people can’t even imagine the dark and twisted path that is about to go down with Spalding and his new play mate.

This is episode 5 titled “Burn Witch Burn”, and the promo shows Fiona setting fire to a hooded body on a stake. WHICH WITCH got burnt up??? Is it Marie, Myrtle, Misty, or maybe the Minotaur’s headless body? I just noticed they all have M names. I paused the scene and used the process of elimination and it seems easy to figure out, but this is a very unpredictable show. Who do ya’ll think it is? ….. Watch American Horror Story: Coven on Wednesday on the FX channel at 10 eastern/9central. You can follow me on twitter @Urethra_F .

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85 Comments

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85 responses to “American Horror Story : Coven Preview of Episode 5 Burn Witch Burn!

  1. steve

    UF maybe Fiona found the hooded figure that gave Cordelia her facial

    • Urethra Franklin

      Oh good one, but who?
      Notice Myrtle is conspicuously absent in the promo at the burning stake. We see Quentin & Pembroke only. Hmmm.

      I can’t wait for the next show. HURRY UP WED.

  2. steve

    the Grand Guignol theater was used in *interview with a vampire* movie wasnt it? Where the older vampires put on a show? Wasnt Myrtle the witch with the matches in her pocket for Fiona?

    • Urethra Franklin

      Yes Myrtle told Fiona she has matches in her pocket, and she wants to light this fire….

      I just learned about the Grand Guignol Theatre today. Google images shows a lot of interestingly dark & bizarre posters for it. Even though I read Interview With Vampire, I did not make the connection.

  3. Tomorrow’s episode sounds like it’s going to be thrilling. I hope it’s not Myrtle or Misty. I can’t imagine they’ll do away with Zoe, but she’s my least favorite. My skin crawled a little remembering the theatre scene in “Interview With the Vampire”.

  4. steve

    UF i had never heard of that theatre until you wrote about it up there. The way you described it brought a mental image of a scene from the movie. Pretty twisted. Where are the witches council witches staying the night? They couldnt zap zombies?

    • Urethra Franklin

      The Théâtre des Vampires was made up by Anne Rice for her Vampire Chronicles. However, there was a similar theater in Paris called Le Théâtre du Grand-Guignol, created in 1897 and specializing in horror shows. Unlike the Théâtre des Vampires, where the vampires actually killed humans onstage and drank their blood in front of the audience, the shows at the Grand-Guignol were theatrical performances played by actors.

  5. All I have to say is that Mrytle BETTER NOT GET BURNED UP!!! I am excited about tomorrow’s episode and this review just solidified my excitement for me. I also think that Cordelia’s husband Hank may have something to do with that attack. I’m sorry but I think that is what I think too. I thought I was alone in this.

  6. steve

    they are doing a great job weaving real people/events through this years story. And thanks UF for detailing that. :)

    • Urethra Franklin

      Creator Ryan Murphy only referenced the theater to describe the Spalding/Madison storyline.

      But yes the writers are dong a great job weaving real people and factual references into the show.

      Wait until episode 6 or 7 when ANOTHER real life notorious serial killer becomes part of the #AHSCoven story.

  7. Seriously....

    I think Hank is just your run-of-the-mill serial killer. He finds chicks online and kills them whenever he goes on “business meetings”. My husband waked in while he was doing the Kaylee chick and was like why is he trying to kill her with his penis? ha ha and then he did kill her. I think he’s the reason they can’t have a baby. Her good witch egg don’t want none of his crazy killer sperm,
    I also think Myrtle is the one being burned.
    How did boy next door get stuck outside. He was inside last we saw him. Did he go out to calm the mob of zombies? Quote scriptures at them?

  8. MinotaurMick

    Minotaur babies…love it!!! This show is getting waaaaaay tough to follow with all the story lines….but a great ride…pass the popcorn! whole lot o crazy in whoville!!!!

    • Urethra Franklin

      MM of course you would love the mino-babies.
      I doubt that’s where the story is going. It’s just one of my dumb ass ideas….Just stay tuned here, I’ll keep the all the stories straight for you guys.

      • MinotaurMick

        much appreciated there UF…great pre-cap! if this season gets any more complex Ryan Murphy is gonna drive the masses away…as middle Amurika not all that bright!!!!
        Cheers!

  9. steve

    a real serial killer added to the show? Did Zodiac mess with Fiona while she was in the bay area? And THATS why we never identified him?

    • Urethra Franklin

      Yes another real life serial killer is getting fictionalized and introduced into the AHSCoven story. I will say the only similarities to the Zodiac killer, is that both were never identified or caught.

  10. steve

    UF now you got me thinking some guy named Jack is going to share his recipe for kidney pie with Delphine..maybe show her how to make a pancreatic plaster too.

  11. BAngie

    UF, I LOVE your re-caps. This is such a great show and hard to describe to anyone who does not watch it. Keep up the good work!!!

  12. Urethra Franklin

    Wow COOL. Steve you should write for #AHSCoven.
    Let’s get through tonight’s episode and next week I will tell more….
    Wear something BLACK because a witch gets burned! #BlackWednesday

  13. steve

    even if i am right i dont want to know!! Its more fun twisting and anticipating what they will bring next.

  14. OMG I CANNOT WATCH THIS PART! If you are squeamish wait a few minutes before starting to watch.

  15. I am already SOFA KING confused and going to need UF’s recap and to watch again! I am about 20 minutes behind.

  16. eastjames

    This is the first episode I’ve ever watched. Is that maid Kathy Bates? If so, I’m in!

  17. Well fuck. Zoe is gonna be Supreme?

  18. Wait CORDELIA had a baby in real time? SOMEONE TALK TO ME!

  19. Xanadude

    DR JOHN!!!!!! HELL YEAH!

  20. steve

    wow that was a good show. Im glad it replays too. Why dont the council have rooms at the mansion?

  21. mygirlsmom

    I seem to say this after every episode of AHS……That was sooo messed up!

  22. Urethra Franklin

    Anybody know the name of the funky groovy song or the artist that was playing during the witch burning scene?

  23. Urethra Franklin

    I’m sorry but all that zombie shit was just too ridiculous for me. I was laughing and rolling my eyes. Everything else, PERFECTION.

  24. mygirlsmom

    What was it that Zoe said when she made that last zombie collapse? I kept replaying it but couldn’t understand what she said.

  25. Xanadude

    Uretha — how old are you? I’m beginning to think the 70s songs are lost on you youguns. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._John

    • grrrr at the link. :) but as it was not a competitor it was fine. ssshhhh.

    • Urethra Franklin

      I’m 40′ish. I have an insanely large music collection.
      I know Dr. John musically. I just had a brain fart and thought someone was talking about the doctor in the hospital scene. I do admit that I did not realize it was Dr John music playing until you guys mentioned it.

      • xanadude28

        We’re around the same age – I will admit that it helps to have the captioning on (partially deaf here, and actually use headphones to watch TV along with the captions) and have it say “Into to Dr. John’s Right Place” right as the song started playing :)
        I’m thinking

  26. steve

    dr john was the artist playing that song. Zoe said *be in your nature* and dropped the voodoo qyeen to the ground. Psychic Cordelia saw what hubby did!

    • Urethra Franklin

      TY Steve. I have a huge music collection, and did not even connect the name Dr. John. I thought someone was talking about the doctor in the hospital scene.

      The song is called “Right Place, Wrong Time”,…. and it was a funky groovy theme song for a witch burning? Darkly hilarious choice.

  27. tata4now

    I’m thinking Zoe is the next Supreme, but I’m still holding out hope it’s Misty!

  28. JoJo

    Awwwwwww shite….I KNEW I should have not read this since I have 15 min. to go, but I can hear in my head “I Put A Spell On You” and click, click, click.
    I’m not seeing anything though about the “Hank” question answered. I am thinking just might be a warlock, the way he spook-fornicated poor Kaylee. Devlish, I say.
    And, Murphy said Fiona killed off another witch (being her 3rd now) in this episode – which is a ‘burnable’ offense – she needs to be a 9-lived cat:). I was thinking she tracked down the acid thrower, who was small and hooded, and it might be Nan. Guess not. But Nan definitely got something else going on.
    And, Cordelia, why didn’t she get Nan to read her damn hubby’s mind? Also, she gave up so much info to the Witch Council last week, she was like Zoe in “I couldn’t toast a piece of bread with the amount of heat that they put on you”!
    And I’m sure Misty bringing someone or some people back, could be Madison and now Myrtle?? See I said I could have been wrong about Queenie only being around for 2 episodes, I feel a tad vindicated. Can’t wait till the episoe tonite and for UF’s recap!

  29. That song immediately puts me in a Dazed and Confused frame of mind. Please give us a few more clues on the serial killer…..associated with NOLA? The Axeman perhaps

  30. steve

    i still think Fiona had a hand in Mistys burning. UF you gotta do the long version for the scurrdy kats..and so we can enjoy it through your eyes too.

  31. steve

    yes UF i watched it 3 times with a last week rerun included!! But i still get a kick out of reading YOUR version. You add the snark and colorful observations that make the recaps so enjoyable. :)

  32. LoriNYC

    I think Fiona is the coolest character ever created for television. Jessica Lange is so amazing in this roll. I don’t ever want the episodes to end. I’m captivated by this entire season of AHS! Thanks for the precaps and recaps – they’re fabulous!

  33. LOU LOU

    I live for FIONA!!! She is a gay man trapped in a white woman body.. the shade she throws and manipulates is just supernatural!! I think Jeses boi will turn out to be a warlock…. Zoe is going to be next Supreme….. that is coming I’m sure and LaLaurie gonna stab Fiona in the back… I believe Cordelia is gonna kill Hank… and Myrtle resurrected?? Lawd.. someone please kill Misty and bury her deep this time… and no preview of next week?? I digress

  34. I need to take a momemt to thank TT for her blogs and to compliment you, UF, on your wonderfully entertaining and well written #AHS recaps. I enjoy them not only for reasons of entertainment but for the innuendos, detail and subtext I invariably miss during the show and you, unfailingly capture.You have an interesting point of view and your snark is appreciated. However, I have just finished watching last nights episode and find myself disappointed that your recap is not yet up. Please hurry,…. #BeInYourNature. :)

  35. This might be obvious to everyone but me, but what meds does Fiona keep taking?

    • Urethra Franklin

      At first I thought maybe it was cancer meds.
      But she pops them like candy. But seeing her act so stoned/high in hospital i only guess that they are Xanax, pain killers, or Oxycontin type meds. Plus she washed them down with booze from her flask. #hotmess

      • Thanks UF. I thought some sort of anti-aging, growth hormone sort of stuff but that wouldn’t be under lock and key like narcotics. She needs her some good morphine patches instead of pills. :)

  36. steve

    i had forgotten the axeman..jazz anyone? Zoe is pretending to be dumb little girl. she is playing Fiona like a fiddle to be the youngest supreme ever. The hooded facesplasher is skinny and her heighth.

  37. Xanadude

    Maybe Hank is killing FOR Cordelia? The more wimmens he kills the more life force/energy/etc he would acquire for spells necessary for baby makin’?

    I don’t know if I mentioned this on here, but Hank is played by the same actor who played Serge, Edina’s gay son on Absolutely Fabulous. It was killing me trying to figure out where I saw him before.

  38. I really love your re-caps I have waited til after to read most because I am a day or so behind usually because my damn husband and I watch together and his hours are weird. I promised to always wait for him!!!!!! I cant wait for next week!!!!!! You are a awesome writer :)

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