Real Housewives of Miami Recap

RHOM real-housewives-of-miami-season-3-joanna-romain-wedding-15It’s time for the Real Housewives of Miami to head to Vegas for bachelorette party. Which means the crazy packing scenes. As much as these women travel, how is it possible they do not know how to pack? Why doesn’t Lisa understand that her husband has to work for her to life the lifestyle he provides her?

Are they in coach? It sure looks like coach. It could be business class I suppose. Lea is talking to the entire plane on the PA. Any attention she can get. They have the biggest suite at The Palms. I like that all the Miami girls eat on camera. Sure it’s mostly crudité, but still.

Lea is making a jewelry mistake wearing a metal collar necklace to the pool in Las Vegas. It’s going to heat up and burn her neck. Lea dances with a little person who goes by the name Five Cent. It’s um….awkward. I am getting old and see the pool as a giant petri dish of  STDs.

RHOM Adriana-hitting-her-head-on-Real-Housewives-Of-Miami-season-3-episode-2Was that a black AMEX that Joanna put in her handbag? Once when I was in the OC I paid the tab with my lowly Gold AMEX and got a black one back. It was a breathtaking experience. Obviously I pointed out the mistake to the waiter, but for a few brief blissful moments… I held that sucker in my hot little hand like it was, well a Black AMEX.

Lisa is super cranky. I’m thinking she is on hormone shots or something to try to get pregnant. She is also getting very drunk.

Lots of penis games ensued. And the requisite party bus strippers. Lisa is wasted and attacking pretty much every one. Alexia is trying to keep it classy and stay out of it but Lisa goes on the attack.  They have an 8 am flight to catch to San Diego for the rehearsal dinner. Things do not look good for making that flight.  And it ends there with previews showing the girls lost in the desert after missing their flight. Next week is the finale!  HOLY MOLEY! The finale is TONIGHT!  Please watch after RHOBH/PumpRules.

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34 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

34 responses to “Real Housewives of Miami Recap

  1. Urethra Franklin

    I thought the topless swimming was fun, but that crotch-face riding on the bus was Old Girls Gone Wild ridiculous….Lisa can be a very obnoxious drunk….I just love how Alexia’s temper goes from 0 to 100 in hot Cuban second.

    • pfffttt

      I love Alexia. She seems like such a good mother, but also a badass when you try to cross her.

      I like it that she doesn’t amp it up for TV, and only gets involved or goes off when someone does something to her.

  2. Ericzku

    Next week is the finale already? Damn…we’re just getting started! Or maybe my perspective is skewed from having endured the interminably long seasons of New Jersey and before that Atlanta.

    Tamara, Miami is my favorite HW city too, and not just because I live there…but it seems that nothing much has happened yet this season. Oh well, hopefully they’ll come back again with more Mama Elsa, Alexia, and Marysol back to full Housewife status.

  3. Lisa sure knew her way around that pole….lol

  4. Lisa sure knew her way around that pole on that bus. It didn’t get exciting until the very end. Ahhh, brought back memories of my birthday from last year

  5. Drunk is NOT pretty, Lisa. Pls quit acting like a yippy ankle-biting dog.

  6. Nicole

    Awww, I like Lisa. She just need to let go a little bit with all the problems she is having with fertilities. They are too old to be out at that pool though and I thought Leah was a good sport. I would have wanted to go in. I did think that Leah is snarky with Adrianna though. Too bad.

  7. Tara C.

    tamara ! i freakin love you! youve always been my go to person for all things RHOA, but now for EVERYTHING RH! love ya girl! and i liked lisa last night! joanna is a royal polish bitch , this season! i hope her wedding ends up awful , tonight! lol!

  8. Twilly

    Joanna took a few digs at Lisa before Lisa called her a whore. She was talking to whoever was next to her (Lea maybe) and saying stuff about how Lisa doesn’t have a job and just shops all day and needs a hobby which definitely hit a nerve with a drunk and probably hormonal/emotional Lisa. Not making excuses for her obnoxious behavior but Joanna was definitely making digs then acting all innocent. I do not like Joanna. She has not an ounce of class.

    • Tara C.

      Twilly, I 100% agree with you! To me, Lisa has been the only one keepin it real , this season! Adriana ‘s fake-real marriage storyline got super old! And shame on Lea this season for being so nasty! I know why Marta hasnt been on this season, she is sick of Joanna too! Hoping Marta breaks it down for Joanna , at the wedding tonight!

      • Twilly

        Amen! I feel for Lisa. She seems to be going through a hard time, personally, this season. I feel for her on the baby front.

  9. Xanadude

    So, are we placing bets that this will be the final season for Miami?

  10. I tweeted the same thing about the pool as a Petri dish. But I spelled it wrong of course.

    I have to say, I was surprised and impressed that Adriana stayed out of the whole thing at the end on the bus.

    Lisa is a dolt and the whole conversation about asking her Bruce Jenner faced husband to cancel his surgeries was ridiculous. And then her nasty drunkness was worse. I can’t say anything good about her.

    Where was marysol?

    I liked Johanna and Adriana as partners in crime. They seem fun together.

    Sadly, it did seem like Johanna was only unleashing on Lisa because Lea was in her ear. Loved Adriana doing lea’s voice.

    • Great. That will do nothing to stop the rumors we are the same person. lol. That many bodies in the pool? I just can’t see it being handled by chlorine…

      And I despise Jonna, I think she is the only HW that has blocked me because she hates my blogs. BUT, I call it like I see it and the idiot this episode was Lisa. Who I actually started to like last season.

      I am pretty sure this is it for RHOM. The rating suck donkey balls and they rushed the finale just wanting it to be over. Sucks. I think it is a good franchise.

      On Mon, Nov 4, 2013 at 6:25 PM, Tamara Tattles

    • Shellbelle

      I just got around to watching this episode last night… The pool was nasty, you could get pregnant from just the water alone. ( I know it’s not possible, but yuk!)
      I like Joanna and Adrianna together too. Lea won’t tolerate that for long and will have those 2 fueding again.

  11. misscologirl

    Joanna’s foot in this picture looks crazy

    • Gingersnap

      I couldn’t help but notice that too. Ewww.

      • misscologirl

        Yeah, maybe we’ve found the reason for why Romain doesn’t want her. LOL

      • Gingersnap

        @misscologirl ~ I know, right? Why that man isn’t jumping on her every chance he gets is beyond me. She really is beautiful, conceited maybe, but very beautiful.

      • misscologirl

        It must have something to do with her attitude and drinking. After hearing how he grew up, with the horrible step-mothers, I better understood the issues he has. He’s turned off by Joanna probably because her attitude and behavior remind him of his step-mothers.

      • Gingersnap

        Romain wants romance and Joanna wants to do the wild thing…hope they can get it together for each other. I have to admit, I’ve never witnessed this kind of role reversal either. Romain doesn’t seem to get turned on by the whorish types and Joanna is so aggressive and not romantic at all. She’s the guy and he’s the gal in a way. Hopefully, that doesn’t sound sexist, but that’s the best I can describe it. Those two will have a rocky road I betcha, but I wish them well. They certainly make a striking couple. Sigh.

      • misscologirl

        I agree with everything!

  12. Amy in LV

    Lisa lost the surrogate? Does anyone know how that happens?

  13. Joanna said the surrogate had personal issues that had become a problem, but that she’ll attempt again.

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