Urethra Franklin Spills The Tea on American Horror Story: Coven Episode 3

AHS-Coven patti lupone

Urethra Franklin says: WARNING SPOILERS & TEASERS BELOW !

Tonight, On American Horror Story: Coven, we get introduced to some new characters. For all you theater lovers Patti Lupone moves in next door to Miss Robichaux’s Academy and she is playing Joan Ramsey, a high-strung bible thumping hellfire preacher church lady. Well isn’t that special? #SNL

Joan moves in with her sheltered handsome son, Luke, who is going to bring a boost of testosterone to this female-centric ensemble because Franken-Kyle is not the one to get our juices flowing. Joan is NOT too pleased about the witches or her son’s interest in them. Will Luke get seduced by Zoe’s killer vagina, or the movie star with the power of whoop ass? Really it should be no problem for Zoe to fuck whoever she wants as long as she keeps Misty Day’s resurrection service on speed dial… We will see the beginnings of more than one love triangle forming, but I’m NOT telling. There are so many possible combinations. Take a guess or two below in comments.

An impatient Fiona goes to the plastic surgeon, and she is not too pleased with what he tells her. Plus we get to see Fiona’s backstory in a 1971 flashback, and we learn the SHOCKING way she got to be the Supreme Witch.  Fiona recognizes something of her own history in Madison and decides to mentor her.  Duh, they’re both raging bitches, but seriously Madison, “You’re in danger gurl”. #Ghost

AHS-Coven Queenie

Would you all like to see the racist serial killer Madame LaLaurie find out we have a black president? Well clutch the pearls because she is devastated by the news #Obamacare, so Fiona makes her Queenie’s personal maid. Will hilarity or terror ensue in this allegory on race relations? In the last episode she referred to Queenie as a “slave”, and I will be pissed if we don’t get the satisfaction of Queenie using her pain transference powers on Delphine LaLaurie.

Cordelia turns to Marie Laveau for her fertility issues, and we meet the mother of another character who is described as “9th ward white trash”….All the while a bestial figure is lurking around in the shadows. Is it the Minotaur or someone/something else? …… Dah dah dah dum, scurrdy cats.

Episode 3 of AHS: Coven titled “The Replacements”– Fiona takes on an unlikely protégé. A guilt-ridden Zoe tries to give Kyle his old life back. Madison has a fiery exchange with Joan Ramsey, a new neighbor.  Watch Tonight at 10ET on Fox.

Don’t worry if you missed last week’s episode 2, just read my scene by scene recap here to get caught up.

Note From TT: If you missed any of Urethra Franklin’s excellent blog posts, click his name anywhere on this post for the complete works of Urethra Franklin!

28 Comments

Filed under American Horror Story :Coven, News

28 responses to “Urethra Franklin Spills The Tea on American Horror Story: Coven Episode 3

  1. steve

    the previews last week looked pretty good. Since she has been mentioned by name as a witch in the show, Im hoping we get to have Stevie Nicks as a drop in character. Queenie is gonna like having a racist personal maid!! UF your recaps are as enjoyable as the show thanks for doing them. :)

  2. SaraK

    I love this show….almost as much as I love the UF recap….almost.

  3. vivaladiva831

    What was the shocking way fiona became supreme? I don’t watch but I enjoy your recaps!

    • Urethra Franklin

      GASP you don’t watch AHS:Coven? I have to ask why the hell not? It is sooo good, and Jessica Lange just KILLS it as a witch.

      Well since you probably won’t watch the show tonight to find out what SHOCKING way Fiona became Supreme, you’ll will have to read about it tomorrow right here…and thanks for reading my recaps.

      • vivaladiva831

        I keep forgetting to set the DVr. 2 small children running in and out and I def can’t wAtch it right before I got I bed At night-I’m a weenie and afraid of nightmares. I watched the first episode and that’s been it so far. I am anxiously awaiting your reveal!

  4. “gash” is such a gay word, Ryan.

  5. That Negro is the president is the president of the united states!

  6. BTW Gabby is 30 and cast as a schoolgirl.

  7. oooh more stevie nicks! Can’t be your best self until you find you tribe, and I have found mine.

    Oh so have I. Y’all are my tribe, and we are going to make TT a player, I hope y’all will post links everywhere, message boards, twitter, facebook. I have faith now that we can do this together!

  8. So it is a misty day, Zoe , kyle love triangle. I think Misty Day wins!

  9. James

    JESSICA LANGE IS EVERYTHING!

  10. steve

    did tonights show run 15 minutes overtime?

  11. Urethra Franklin

    Yes it was 1:15 and I want more. The show went by so damn fast.
    Never hang out with Fiona if she’s wearing a RED dress. #Murder

    I’ll have recap ready tomorrow aka Thursday.
    Did you all lose your shizz watching this episode too?

    And YES James, Jessical Lange is EVERYTHANG! #BowDownBitches

    • justjenn

      Can we discuss Mare Winningham’s character? I DID NOT see that coming! #disturbed

      • As a mother myself, with a 26-year-old son, the sexual relationship between Kyle and his mother was very deeply disturbing to me. How does a mother end up being sexually attracted to their own child? Or is it not sexual attraction at all, but just a sick form of control?

        Either way, in my opinion, she deserved to have her perverted face bashed in beyond recognition.

    • Kelly

      LOVED last night’s episode but was looking forward to your recap!! Is it coming??? Love Tamara Tattles, Love UF-it’s a big love fest!!!! =)

  12. eg

    This was so damn good tonite, I can hardly wait til next Thurs. AHS is now my new favorite in network horror stuff. I didn’t think anything could replace True Blood, but AHS did. For starters They have the creepiest damn opening music I’ve ever heard and I love it! Secondly, the acting is excellent (esp Jessica Lange) The storyline keeps you on the edge (literally) And I certainly did not see the “mother and son” thing coming. I kind of figured JL wasn’t going to let little hot Madison steal her “supreme” thunder, she nipped that right in the bud. I’m trying to figure out the connection of the spooky girl in the swamp, but I’m sure that will be revealed. Angela Bassett is always good in whatever she’s in. I really enjoyed tonites’ episode.

  13. steve

    If Queenie is gonna take matters into her own hands maybe she should grab the bull by the horn!! :)

  14. Mimi

    OMG hurry up with your recap Uretha. I was dyin’ for 75 minutes!!

  15. steve

    Last week Misty Day said that Zoe and Stevie Nicks were the only witches she has KNOWN so im hoping maybe Stevie is on the council we heard about tonight. And gets to appear to test the new supreme later this season…Misty Day.. now that Madison is dead..she has more than one power..do you know how hard it is staying clean playing in the Louisianna mud?

  16. steve

    @eg..since Queenies power is transference maybe she WAS giving the bull a hand!! We will find out next week if she is still alive. Looks like Kyle solved his Oedipal issues too.

  17. I absolutely LIVE for Urethra Franklin’s AHS recaps (especially the detailed ones) I am a scaredy kat and the wonderfully detailed recaps allows me to enjoy without being afraid to sleep at night. LOL

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