Real Housewives of Miami Recap: It’s All About Lea!


This episode is going to be all about Lea. Oh joy. Perhaps I should have watched The Blacklist  first.  Even worse the next scene is Joanna and Romain.  Romain’s mother makes a excuse to avoid the wedding. So does his father and brother.  Awesome. Later Bravo Romain sets up a series of surprises for Joanna: an  outdoor picnic where he tears up the prenup, and a day sail on a boat where he gives her a puppy.

Adrianna’s son is going to his first formal and she wants to chaperone. Bravo paid for a Rolls to Alex is going with a guy. They are very young. It’s probably just how they do in whatever grade he is in.

RHOMreunionanaLisa is an idiot. She thinks Lea’s family is going to be a bunch of Texas socialites. Lea takes RJ and Lisa to meet her family in a bar. RJ is like… 12.  The next morning Lea wakes up next to RJ who is begging for room service because it is breakfast time and he is hungry. Lea’s response was, “Are you like this every morning?” Mother of the Year. Speaking of which and totally off topic, somehow Jacqueline got her hands on Nick’s school pictures. She said “Wow, I can really see a difference in Nick over last years pictures. Kids grow so fast.” Really?  RJ wants to shoot guns at a target range in Texas. I bet he can shoot a gun at Lea’s family BBQ!  She should send RJ to Texas for a summer. It would do him a world of good.  OMG! RJ has never seen or heard anyone give the blessing before a family meal before.  Poor thing. You at least should be introduced to religion before you decide your beliefs.

Lea says that she moved out of Texas the day after she graduated. Then she takes Lisa out to a Texas cowboy bar to meet the girls who worked for her “very successful cosmetics line.” They worked from 9 am until 9 pm and did training classes on the weekends.  Does anyone else see a discrepancy here?  She names off the places where she marketed her product. One of which was Curacao, a place I have been to a time or two. It’s not exactly the place one markets a skin care line. In Curacao they have an ostrich farm that makes all sorts of skin care products. But I am telling you there is no market in Curacao for expensive face creams unless perhaps it is to sell to the cruise line people who stop for a few hours at port.

OMG at these videos of Lea hawking her creams and potions on TV. I can’t even begin to describe it. I will look on YouTube for those of you who refuse to watch this with me.

Lea and Lisa danced with some cowboys and Lea, not surprisingly can really dance. She should be on DWTS! Lisa, sadly, cannot. Then there was the obligatory bull ride.

Meanwhile, Grandma stayed with RJ at the hotel and he got on the phone and ordered himself an Angus steak and some chicken from Grandma.

Alexia and Herman are celebrating their 10 year anniversary with family and a few close friends. It was lovely and Herman is a great guy.  Frankie is making cute comments with no filter. It’s all adorable.  Marysol stops by after seeing her mother. Mama Elsa is getting worse and not making much sense. Marysol is worried she is losing her.


Filed under Elsa Patton, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

21 responses to “Real Housewives of Miami Recap: It’s All About Lea!

  1. Katherine

    Lisa was insanely annoying this whole episode and I thought It was hilarious how clear RJ made his dislike of her. Also, this is not RJ’s first time there. I think they made a big deal out of blessing the food for the cameras. And to stereotype the south wherever possible.

  2. Becstar

    I loathe obligatory bullride scenes. They’re like stale Sonic peppermints. Also, I’m beginning to think Romain’s sexual issues are real. Like sexual abuse real. The whole vibe with his family seems really sad and confusing.

  3. Brillke

    I thought Frankie was absolutely adorable this episode. The way he said he was terrific to his grandmother was so damn cute.

  4. ZenJen53

    Alexia and Frankie is such an inspiration. I don’t know where she draw her strength from other than unbreakable love for her son. Ohhh Marysol I send only positive energy to you. I know the pain of losing a Mother as I lost mine very recently. Mama Elsa peaceful prayers

  5. I can’t believe this whole episode was about Lea was bravo doing an experiment too see how popular or unpopular she is i can do without her and Lisa I want Lisa to stop kissing leas ass you got your birkin now remove your lips please

  6. Lea sleeping with her kid grossed me out. My boy would not be caught dead sleeping with his mother. And with a camera?? Ack.
    Lisa becomes more annoying each second.
    I disagree that you have to teach a kid religion even if you are not religious. And even if you did, that religion might not include “blessing the food”. We never called it that. We said saying prayers. If someone called it blessing the food when we were kids we would have asked if the food sneezed.
    Marysol’s needs to grow the fuck up. The Baby Jane thing is sad. A middle aged woman acting like a helpless child borders on pAthetic. Her saying “if I ever lost my mother, I would not be able to go on” is ridiculous. Of COURSE she will lose her mother. We all know we will. Grow up. This doesn’t make you special.
    The whole family looked like they wanted to muzzle Frankie. I guess it would be less adorable day in and day out. Can you retrain a filter? I’m not sure.

  7. JrLeaguer

    I liked the episode. I think that the exchanges between RJ and his mom are hysterical. He is a young boy (a few years younger than Adriana’s son) and seems sweet and socially awkward. I have a feeling that when he is older, he will shine. He has a mom that sort of sucks all of the air out of a room due to her over the top personality and that is sometimes overwhelming for kids and having a camera there can make it even worse. I would rather watch RJ than to watch Alexia’s oldest wannabe thug, Peter any day of the week.
    I took the leaving the day after high school comment to be about leaving Waco and not necessarily the state of Texas. When I saw that one informercial with the guy that wore the crazy sweaters…I actually remembered seeing it ‘back in the day.’

  8. Becstar

    I forgot to mention Lea eating ribs at the BBQ. She threw such a fit when Herman roasted that pig in the first season and exclaimed she didn’t eat meat. Does anyone else remember that?

  9. Yeah. Rj is just everso cute. His fascination with guns us very healthy. He’s a hothouse flower obsessed with guns. What do you think is going to happen the first time he faces the real world and someone who doesn’t give him his way and a trophy for participating? He’s a bell tower away from a massacre.

  10. Shellbelle

    This episode with Alexa and Frankie made me cry. My 12 year old sons best friend was Ina horrible accident this summer involving a utility vehicle and a truck. She and her sister were riding on the UTV. She has a traumatic brain injury and has such a long road ahead of her, but to see Frankie gives me hope for her.
    I thought Lea’s bit was just too much… Is it me or does her 12 year old seem extremely immature? Maybe he’s been sheltered for too long…

  11. Katrina

    It was intetesting to hear about Lea’s full sister that passed. Lea went silent. That is probably the sister she felt closest too. Her sister died very tragically. This is the reason why Lisa and Lea will be fighting next week.

  12. Marc Serri

    OMG! Some of the comments here about RJ are so out of order…… but so true. MegaLOLs.

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