Breaking Up With Bravo Just Got Easier!

bravooriginalFor those of us trying (and failing) to wean ourselves from the Bravo teat and get back to more intellectually stimulating programming, I have some good news!  Not that we watch Bravo on Thursday nights anyway, but we REALLY won’t have any issue not watching when the new Thursday night line-up begins December 5th.  Well, maybe a couple of minor issues. Click through for the Bravo PR spin on Thursday and my reactions.

From the Bravo Press Release (wild misusage of quotes theirs):

“The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Patti Stanger is back and better than ever in Bravo’s hit docu-series “The Millionaire Matchmaker.”This season features fresh faces and new surroundings as Patti’s business is thriving in a swanky new office in Marina Del Ray with an entirely different team of matchmakers. The love guru has enlisted “guy’s guy” Justin Bird, former Millionaire’s Club dater Marisa Saks and hopeless romantic David Cruz to spice up the Millionaire’s Club and bring their unique dating expertise to Patti’s clients. Along with her usual high-maintenance millionaires, Patti has another diverse roster of rich singles commencing with Don Swayze in the season premiere and continuing with Kim Kardashian’s BFF Jonathan Cheban, Katrina Parker (“The Voice”), Courtney Kerr (“Courtney Loves Dallas”), Rosie Pierri (“Real Housewives of New Jersey”),and Stefan Richter (“Top Chef”). In her personal life, Patti is working on balancing her ever-growing business and her relationship with boyfriend David Krausse. Can Patti and David resolve their communication issues now that they are living under the same roof?

Patrick Swayze’s 55-year-old brother Don is a millionaire? Oh wait, the PR promises a few random millionaires and a few other “rich singles” with an Z list IMDb listing. Sigh. Is Jonathon Cheban going to be playing the straight guy on his episode that he portrays on KUWTK on Millionaire Matchmaker? Some chick that was on The Voice is rich? I suppose if we remember it is on we may lose our resolve to watch Rosie try to hook up with someone. Rosie seems happier lately, so perhaps she was one of Patti’s few success stories. I hope so. Even though her past makes me worry for her new love just a touch.  Speaking of tempers, we might also want to watch Stephan the angry chef from Top Chef  to see what he is like on a date. But other than that I think we are home free. Right?

“Courtney Loves Dallas”

This new half-hour docu-series follows Courtney Kerr, breakout star of “Most Eligible Dallas,” as she navigates the lively Dallas social scene, while building a brand new career. Courtney took a leap of faith by quitting her stable job in fashion retail to pursue her exploding fashion blog full-time hoping to make her mark on the industry she’s obsessed with. It’s not all Gucci and Prada as she goes through an emotional rollercoaster ride as  she juggles her search for the perfect southern gentleman and a fast moving  fashion career filled with amazing 0pportunities. After having her heart broken by best friend, Matt Nordgren, Courtney continues to try to find the love of her life. Love life aside, Courtney is also faced with shocking news that her mother may have cancer, which only strengthens her bonds with her family and best friend, Tori. However, as Courtney’s career rides high, she neglects important friends and proves that having it all sure isn’t easy.

Um what? How can you be the break-out star of a show no one watched. And she is broken-hearted over her break-up with Matt Nordgren? Really? The guy that has allegedly banged every willing single chick on Bravo at least once (including if I recall correctly Taylor Armstrong?).  So she quit her job to blog? I see.  We call that a fast-moving career in fashion  filled with amazing opportunities? And Mama’s cancer scare will be exploited on camera? How utterly charming. Pass.

See breaking up is getting easier and easier to do my friends! By the way, I have been cheating with USA Network lately.  At night when you want to watch TV until you fall asleep without changing the channel they always have some Law & Order SUV type marathon going.  Or if you are lucky it’s a House marathon.

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31 Comments

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31 responses to “Breaking Up With Bravo Just Got Easier!

  1. Bogelicious

    Notice the first cpl Seasons of Millionaire Match Maker when she claimed 90 something % success rate…??? Then it changed to something ambiguous. In ALL the seasons, and ALL the matches shown, have any worked?? Any marriages? Most of the millionaires are weird or jerks…. I won’t watch!
    Think Courtney Kerr is super cute (looks really plastic and pulled since first series) I follow her on twitter to see what she is up to, but don’t think there is enough going on for a series!! Like most of the spin offs I could care less about.
    I enjoy blogs of the shows, WAY MORE than the shows themselves :)

  2. Brillke

    I interviewed Stephen Asprinio during his Top Chef run and he was actually a very nice guy. He was nothing like he was on the show. Is he a millionaire? I know he has opened several resturants and other bunsinesses so I guess its possible. Not going to watch to find out, can’t stand that Patti chick.

    • Brillke

      Please delete my comment. Stupid ass me read the wrong name. Stefan is a whole different shade of chef and I’ve never spoken with him.

  3. beth

    Never was a fan of millionaire matchmaker … the other show sounds dull too.

  4. Urethra Franklin

    I can’t stand that loud mouth Jewess.
    I haven’t watched Millionaire Matchmaker for 3 or 4 seasons. Every year I still see her on WWHL, and her face is pulled so tight her cheeks have nipples and her chin has a goatee.

  5. Enough Already

    Never watched millionaire matchmaker…don’t care for loudmouth Patti….I have weaned myself from Bravo….just couldn’t take it anymore…

  6. Xanadude

    I refuse to watch MM – Patti is so unlikeable and her comments about gays and Jewish people have put her on my not-watch-even-if-the-only-other-choice-is-a-Kardashian list.
    The other show? Fun fact – they shot a couple scenes for it at a high rise my balcony faces. And I still don’t care to watch it.

  7. Gingersnap

    I’ll pass on the Thursday line up. Yuck. I gave up on Patti a while back. The more work she had done, the more unattractive she became, and her personality is already abrasive. So, I kicked her plastic ass to the curb. That other show sounds too dubious to even go there.

    The reunion with the Queer Eye guys was one of Andy’s better nights. I wish they would come back. I cut my Bravo teeth on the Queers and LOVED them and their show. They all looked fantastic 10 years later…it’s like they had hardly aged and just looked better. Cheers Queers!!!

  8. UGH!! I can’t stand Patti Stanger so I won’t be watching this and she’s gonna try to find nutso Rosie a date…hmm I might watch that ep just to watch Rosie make a huge ass out of herself….I am seriously waiting for Bravo to offer Rosie a show…and that Courtney chick? really? I watched that show and she was one major bitch..Bravo seems to be desperate with these shows…I can see that network falling apart once all the housewives shows shit the bed

    • Anastasia Beaverhausen

      Does anyone else think that Rosie, is, um, “special?”

      • what do you mean — you mean retarded or something? well, that family seems pretty dumb but i like her a lot (my god, was that whole helping the kid with her homework scene totally made up or did it really happen like that?). no BS with rosie, as far as i can tell: she seems to be a straight shooter. none of the crap or petty stuff we’re seeing with most of the other women. just hope all the attention she is getting doesn’t change her.

  9. docwall

    FORGIVE ME TT FOR POSTING THIS HERE…………………. but i am asking for a prayer chain (no responses necessary, just thoughts, if you would). You guys are my “other world” and right now, our little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, George, who is 11 is in ICU with a severe bout of pancreatitis after raiding the trash again and devouring a chicken carcass. Long story, but i spent 2 hours doing intestinal surgery on him and he is rather sick from alot of stuff and may not make it. He is my second-born (first is a 2-legged young woman). I just wanted to ask for prayers that Georgie makes it! He is my hunka burning love!!! Sweeter love never to be found! Thanks!!!!!
    Doc
    PS: Otis, the bone cancer child who had amputation is recovering pretty well……..shit…………next, my plane will crash on the way to NOLA!!!!!!

    • Me and Banjo send love to you and George. Banjo is having issues too. Also chicken related I fear and his mystery illness is acting up. I just doped him up and sent him to bed. He should be better tomorrow. Hopefully George will be too. He had a great surgeon. xoxo

    • praying for your little boy george. pancreatitis is SO SO painful. hope pain meds and fluids are helping. pepcid can help, too, right? (((((hugs)))))

  10. Popcorn and Vodka (@popcornandvodka)

    Patti is the WORST and I happily weaned myself off her show last year. Of course, I’ll still watch the episode with Rosie. If for some crazy reason Juicy doesn’t go to prison, maybe he and Rosie could do a buddy show – they are both at their most likable and entertaining when together!

    Thursdays are all about Project Runway for me anyway. Andy really needs to get some new ideas, because recycling the old ones is just getting… old.

    @Docwall: I send you and George all my loving and healing thoughts.

    • Gingersnap

      LOVE Project Runway…
      To Docwall & George ~ Sending love and compassion your way, and healing and strength for George. I can imagine that he is a wonderful friend and family member. I adore dogs.

  11. Susan

    On that night I think the best channel on TV is off. It’s getting to be the best channel on other nights too. Too bad they can’t come up with some good shows that actually need writers. I guess it’s cheaper to do reality . No brains needed, just add idiots to watch and go for it. People are famous for doing absolutely nothing, and they think they are soooooo wonderful. ” They are stars” well not. They need to get real. I guess the money is great though. Just look at the Kardashians, money up the wahoo for doing what? Act like total idiots in front of the camera. You know what they say money talks and the rest walks. I do like reading TT, but the off channel is the one that is used the most anymore. By the way Docwall , we just prayed for your little dog George. I have three little poodles and they are my everything too, so the best of the best and the Lords blessings on George.

  12. aemish

    The only shows I like on Bravo anymore are Top Chef and Million Dollar Listings *shrug*

  13. Twilly

    I’ll never understand what that old hag Patti has against curly hair. My hair was one of the things that attracted my man to me on first glance. Maybe if she was a little less into selling the cookie-cutter hooker look, she might actually have some success. She’s a joke.

    • Men LOVE curly hair and redheads. She hates both. I have really curly hair so of course I want to straighten it. When I first start dating someone, it is straight every time I see them. I some point I relax and hang out in more of a natural state. They always freak out. OMG! I LOVE YOUR HAIR! WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT? And the answer is of course nothing. If you want to impress a man wear it curly. If you trying to impress your female friends, wear it straight.

      • Twilly

        Spot on! I get mine blown out when I get it cut and my boyfriend always loves it straight for a change, but when it’s back to curly he missed my curls! Patti seems to know nothing about what makes men really tick! Or maybe she has some deep rooted issues with curly girls and can’t let it go!

      • I’m still upset at my ex for the time years ago went I spent big $ at a salon just before a dinner date and he never said a word. Clearly I had gone to great lengths to look nice even though it was a regular grab a quick bite sort of date. (I had the hair apt previously) I finally just said, “So, you don’t like my hair?” and his reply was, “I like it better the otherway.” This happened with almost every man I have dated to one degree or another. I on the other hand thought I looked like a million bucks.

      • docwall

        I have curly hair (very wavy), too, TT. SCREW trying to straighten it. I don’t even blow dry it, EVER. rarely brush it, even……LOL, just makes it frizzy.

        (i do wash it every day, though)

      • The less wash curly hair, the better. (within reason) sometimes I skip shampoo all together and just condition.

  14. Urethra Franklin

    My curly red hair in my 20’s, and my thinning red hair in my 30’s was always a conversation starter that resulted in me getting laid all the time…and most gingers are blessed “down there” too…. Fuck Patty.

  15. karen (@kreim)

    I have had no problem slowing down on my Bravo – I only watch RHOM and RHOBH

  16. I thought I was the only one who turns the TV on USA late at night when suffering from insomnia, because the Law & Order re-runs put me to sleep (since I’ve already seen them all a thousand times). :-D

    I absolutely refuse to watch Millionaire Matchmaker (or anything else with Patti Stanger in it, for that matter). Personally, I find her insufferable. The first time I watched her show, she claimed that men don’t like redheads or curly hair, and absolutely threw a fit about it. Yet that’s news to me (and pretty much every other person on the planet).

    Given that she treats the female potential dates on her show as if they’re hookers and she’s their all-powerful pimp (and given that they’re so desperate to date a rich man that they put up with being treated that way), and also given her almost nonexistent success record, I honestly think she’s just found a way to make prostitution legal, and that the “no sex on the first date” rule is how she does it. That’s just my opinion, obviously, but it’s an opinion I’ve had for years.

    At any rate, I’ve pretty much stopped watching Bravo, since every single Real Housewives franchise has jumped the shark, and I can’t stand shows about dating, real estate, or cooking. So it’s no problem for me to watch other (far better) networks, and I’m especially fond of the original series on A&E, AMC and FX. I’m far more interested in well-written and expertly-acted dramas like Breaking Bad (wish it were still on), The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, Justified, and Bates Motel. (Truth be told, I think The Walking Dead is more realistic than The Real Housewives, LOL.)

  17. I abhor Patti Stanger. Patti is in her 50’s and still single, how good can she be at her job. I still think she was born Patrick.

  18. When viewing this blog, remember to click on the ads, Tamara’s gotta make some coin y’all.

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