Well hell, I wasn’t expecting to have to do this again tonight. Imagine my dismay as I am watching Dancing With The Stars wondering who all these “stars” are (the only two I recognized were Amber Riley and Snooki) when suddenly my TV flips the channel to RHONJ!
At least they are starting with some unseen footage of Milania. This might be worth watching if it were all Milania. Milania is hitting the other kids at school and Teresa misses the point. This is terrible parenting. Why am I not surprised?
Speaking of horrific parenting, Joe and Melissa are talking about sex in front of Antonia. Meanwhile Joey can’t add 30+30+11. Melissa says Joe doesn’t know the tens place from the ones place. Melissa had to redo Joe’s homework. Perhaps they should have let Antonia do it.
Back to the Juicy Joe and Rosie drinking at the bar at Juicy’s house while Gia is doing her homework. Juicy says he is very good at Social Studies. Gia says, “Oh, I’m sure.” Juicy says, “I’m like a brainstorm. You don’t even know.” (HEAVY SIGH) They want to be quizzed so Gia asks the capital of New Hampshire. Juicy says “Rhode Island.” A Rhodes Scholar he is not. Neither of them know where the Grand Canyon is, Um, they went to Arizona. Neither knows the closest planet to the Sun. Juicy’s guesses are not even planets. Gia just leaves. Rosie does a talking head to explain that Gia is doing college level work in the 6th grade. I just can’t. If you wonder why other countries think we are blithering idiots, it’s because, overall, we are.
Kathy’s son Joseph gets an inappropriate lesson in sex education from Joe and Rich. Joe is telling Joseph he needs to get it in as much as he can.
Juicy and Rosie play pool. Juicy is practicing his Italian. Which is good. He will need it when he gets deported. Juicy says he lost his virginity at 12 to someone older. I wonder what his name was?
We also missed a couples yoga class in Arizona. Sadly, we are about to see it now. I predict fart jokes in advance. I KNEW IT! Why is Rosie Chris’s partner and Jacqueline is sitting out? Oh, she was just over surgery I guess. The yoga ladies were appalled.
Jac goes to Amish land in search of camel milk for Nicolas. (HEAVY SIGH) she takes the Manzo kids and Rosie. I hope one of the camel’s spits on her. Camel’s are not friendly creatures. Noah the camel milk guy left some milk in a dirty utility bucket and they took it. Then Jac finds a dead burnt camel. A cat comes running toward them and they all pee themselves like little girls.
Caroline and Albert meet with a photog for a family portrait.
Teresa gave her first speech to the Nephcure people when she was honored for her work. Teresa says, ” I have a confession to make, this is my first speech so please bear with me. I’m not a doctor, but I found out some amazing things about the human body, the average man’s private part is three times the length of his thumb. And women’s attention spans are longer than men’s. For example, the women are all still listening to me now, but the men are all busy checking out their thumbs.” Poor Tre was so scared and shakey. I really do think that she is serious about Matthew and Nephcure. She could have stopped when The Apprenticed ended like most of the celebrities do, but she didn’t.
More Rosie and Juicy. This time they are looking at porn together. How sweet. If Juicy wasn’t going to jail I bet Bravo would have considered a Joe and Rosie spinoff.
The Manzo boys go boxing. They were quickly too tired to continue.
Melissa Gorga shows up 40 minutes late to her performing bootcamp because she wanted to lie by the pool. Joe did the Never Let Me Go routine with Melissa. They were about the same level of ability both singing and dancing.
Teresa has another scene with her kids and Kim D talking about a party Jen Dalton was throwing. Not much of interest except that Tre was not wearing makeup and hair!
This party by Jen Dalton is a big deal. I can’t believe this scene was cut. This would be a great episode. Kim D gets drunk and starts going in on Jen about her event. Jen calls Kim D “grandma”. Kim D says Jen gives her kids away so she can party. Jen says Kim D had a boyfriend for 20 years that would not marry her. Kim D says she is not desperate to be married like Jen is. pushing and shoving happens and then, Kim D gets tossed out. Teresa just stood there grinning the entire time.