Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Recap Part 1

real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-5-reunion-preview-01

Okay, I am just now getting to watch the 90 minute Reunion show at MIDNIGHT because I had to suffer through a ridiculous 30 minute show about watching TV. Actually, I didn’t watch it, I just waited for it to end.

Here we go to have the same old arguments. Andy goes straight for the court cases against Teresa and Joe. Teresa is still on the “I never thought it would happen to me” train. She also continues to deny that Joe has cheated on her. Life is all unicorns and cotton candy on Planet Teresa.

Andy is not sparing any feeling tonight asking Melissa what she thinks about everyone on the Internet sending around a video of her singing without autotune. He said lots of people think she can’t sing (more or less, I forget how he said it exactly, but…he went there). Teresa is upset that Melissa didn’t open up to her about her father’s past. Teresa seemed a little teary-eyed over Melissa’s book story clips. I think Tre is barely hanging on at this point.

Gif By RealityTVGifs

Gif By RealityTVGifs

Teresa is claiming that ROL has a deal with Melissa where Melissa feeds them Tre stories and they don’t write anything negative about Melissa. I don’t believe that. Clearly, ROL doesn’t have decent RHONJ sources. RHOBH, yes, but not RHONJ sources. That’s why they have to swipe mine.

Lots of shade about Rich Wakile who tweeted tonight that he declined production’s invitation to attend the reunion. This of course leaves Kathy to try to explain some of his more ridiculous behavior.

Melissa just said that her sisters don’t trash Teresa on Twitter. That’s a lie.  I seen it RTed on my timeline.

OMG. First Juicy says he has never offended any gay people despite Andy taking him to task several seasons ago. AND NOW TERESA SAYS THEY HAVE A GAY COUPLE THEY ARE FRIENDS WITH AND SHE HANGS OUT WITH THE GIRL AND HE HANGS OUT WITH THE GUY. They are both men. Teresa says one is always the girl. OMG. OMG. OMG. I think Rosie’s head will explode.

These “where did these people come from?” questions with regard to Penny and Kim D and Jan are ridiculous. I read today that Kathy’s daughter dates someone related to Penny.  They have all known Penny for ages. Why do they insist on pretending like they don’t know her? I am surprised that Teresa is familiar with the word, ‘audacity’ even though she doesn’t know how to use it.

Love Caroline calling out Teresa for lying on her blog about her relationship with Al. Then Teresa admits that she never saw Caroline and Al fighting, she just heard about it. And she was mad that Caroline said she didn’t lift the horse leg. REALLY Teresa?  BTW everyone looked great tonight I thought. Much better dress choices than usual.

Wait, why would they talk about Albert’s Dad’s death. That is pretty crappy. And happening next week.

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51 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Teresa Giudice

51 responses to “Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Recap Part 1

  1. SB

    Tre looks pretty buff in that picture. Maybe she’s getting extra fit for life in the pen?

    • I’m happy Jac refused to pile onto Tre. I honestly see them becoming friends again. Not in the way they were before, but her silence is better than trashing her. Tre’s “crisis PR team” taught her well. Surprised in how calm she was. It’s still obvious how painfully uneducated she is. lol

      Caroline is a hypocrite and bully. Al despises her and it’s obvious to all. To quote her own husband, she needs to “stfu”. Get off of my tv screen.

      • SB

        I would love to know what really goes on between Caroline and Al!

      • RealChicagoHousewife

        It is clear that Teresa is not that well educated. At first I thought that might be her way out of the Federal charges playing the clueless housewife. But she manages to run her looking empire just fine so I don’t see people believing that defense.

      • RealChicagoHousewife

        I meant cooking empire. Autocorrect

      • With all due respect to Tre, being a smart business person and being generally well-educated in a cultural sense are two different things. If you have the money, it’s not hard to hire smart people to help you make business decisions.

        That being said, I don’t think it’s looking good for Tre/Juicy. I’m not sure her strategy for placing blame on Juicy will work. I hope it does though. :(

      • Teresa’s side projects are not run by her. Someone writes her books for her. As far as Fabellini goes, all she does is promote it on TV. It’s not rocket scientist surgery.

    • Teresa is in denial about going to jail just like she doesn’t believe Juicy Joe cheated on her.

      Maybe she needs Bethenney’s psychiatrist!!!

  2. i liked it. what i liked is that when i watch RHOC and RHBH i get stressed out at all the drama. with these guys i mostly don’t. thought it was funny that the guys worked things out between themselves by letting off steam and fighting. wish women would let things go like that and stop replaying all the drama. (i skipped that stupid people show after WWHL.) i appreciated caroline and rosie’s attitudes. i think they kept things moving but i am glad caroline called teresa out for passing around crap in her tweets about things she never witnessed herself. [i am not a tre or melissa fan. i can see where both are coming from. well, not about lying on loan applications but re family drama. any woman with inlaws probably has gone thru some of this even if the specifics are different.]

  3. Lisa MH

    That GIF kills me! Her left eye looks like the capillaries are bursting in the corner! Ps I thought the same about the dresses. They look a little… classy? Nah. But almost!

  4. didnt melissa’s dress remind u of one of gretchen’s lawrence welk grecian numbers?

    • Lisa MH

      LMAO, perfect description! (I used to love Lawrence Welk when I was a kid. I used to LOOK FORWARD to it. Man, what has happened to society? Lol)

  5. DJ

    Tamara,
    Great recap. You were totally unbiased to everyone.

    I would like to know why Ritchie Wakile was not there. I can’t imagine he declined an invite. Seems like Bravo is phasing them out. Any idea?

    • Lucy94

      That’s the rumor. She will only be a “friend” next season and the only reason they’re keeping her in any capacity is to hold on to Rosie’s presence. Kathy is DULL and her husband is a PERV.

    • Lisa MH

      That’s why I love Tamara’s blog. She’s unbiased but not boring. Some bloggers feel like they have to make fun of people to be funny. Tamara has a good sense of humor but not at the expense of others.

  6. LaurieNYC

    Instead of hiring a CRISIS PR team, Teresa should hire a body language expert to teach her what not to do. When she’s caught off guard with a question, her eyes crack me up and when she’s lying and she starts blinking like crazy gives me a great belly laugh. She doesn’t get how transparent she is. I’m sorry but “I apologize” isn’t the same thing as saying “I’m sorry”. I don’t know how Teresa’s family lets her get away with that crap. I want Teresa and Melissa gone already but if they bring Dina back I will give up on this show completely. Done with the family drama.

  7. RealChicagoHousewife

    Andy went in on Teresa really hard. It surprised me because she is such a money maker for Bravo. You would think he’d go easier on her to protect their golden egg. Some serious dirt must have gone on behind the scenes. He wasn’t throwing shade, he was throwing daggers and Teresa almost lost her cool on him when he challenged her for saying she lets stuff go.
    Side note: I thought all of the ladies’ hair and make up was beautiful. No glitter eyeshadow!

  8. vivaladiva831

    I would love to know what the deal is between Dina and Chris/Jaq/Caroline. It has to be more than just not taking Dina’s side with the book 5 freakin years ago.

      • eg

        I’m curious about the relationship between Caroline and Albert sr too. There seemed to be so much tension between them in their scenes, and it seems like the kids (esp Albie) know it too. But I think Caroline and Rosie were the best acting ones in that group last night. Kathy is a snoozer to watch, so I can take her or leave her. I almost ALMOST feel sorry for Tre, but then I slap myself and say, NOT! She may be not well educated as someone said, but she is savvy enough to know how to give backhanded compliments, and then try to “blink” or backpedal her way out when somebody calls her on it. Like everyone else I really feel sorry for her kids, for the position she and Joe have put them in. She was educated enough to do that, and kept doing it.

    • pfffttt

      Dina got a divorce. Dina and Caroline married brothers. I’m thinking that has something to do with it.

    • lori

      TT posted an exclusive about it a couple of weeks ago.

  9. sammiejane

    Stick an ~effin~ fork in me… I am DONE!! With a cast of Teresa, if not in PRISON, Melissa with her cat screeching singing, and Dina with her only contribution being washing that creepy hairless cat, I call it quits on this sinking ship!!!! Andy, learn when to let it go!!! Becoming more disappointed in BRAVO. The only show worth my 30 minutes is RHOBH because of Lisa!!! Adios,Real Putas of NJ!!!

    • eg

      Ok sammiejane, now tell us how you Really feel!!!! lol. And I agree with you wholeheartedly, Melissa CANNOT sing! What is it about some of these hw that make them think that can sing? Remember when Kim Z started with the country western thingy and then she graduated to TFTP (with Kandis’ help) and Gretchen (omg)? It has gotten too embarrassing to watch anymore. The only thing left would be for Nene to get a girl group together and they could call themselves “Ugvogue”.

  10. Katie

    Tre had the mental capacity of a child and a dim child at that. To write that in her blog about Caroline and Al because Caroline mentioned a true fact, that Tre didn’t lift the leg, just shows what a nasty person and liar she is.

  11. I loved Teresa’s response to Andy when he brought up the Federal charges against her. She said, “This could happen to anybody”. She’s correct. I can’t tell you how many times the Feds have slapped me with 39 counts of fraud. 1 count of fraud could be erroneous, 39 counts, you’re headed for the slammer.
    I love how Juicy treats Tre like garbage on the show, but as soon as they appear on WWHL or the reunion shows, suddenly they are holding hands. You can see Juicy can’t stand Tre anymore.
    I see in next weeks show they bring up Albert Manso’s father, Albert “Tiny” Manzo. He too is reported to have Mafia connections, which Caroline vehemently denies.
    So as it stands, we have Tre & Juicy charged with 39 counts of fraud. Rich Wakile being sued by Exxon for fraud. The Manzos & Laurita’s being sued for stealing the Blackwater (BLK) idea and trademark from a Canadian company. You just can’t make this stuff up. They are all nothing but a bunch of crooks.

    • They are all dirty, all of em I say! I noticed that everyone is looking at the ceiling claiming that Tre’s probs are personal and shouldn’t be discussed because it’s confidential personal stuff…. But havent they been bitchin for years because she wont discuss it on TV? They have all lied and they continue to keep up the facade. Not makin excuses for Tree “it could happen to anybody” Giudice, it’s just crazy to watch them all try to cover their own rear ends in the face of so much information.
      kh

    • Mina

      ‘I can’t tell you how many times the Feds have slapped me with 39 counts of fraud’. Stephen that was HILARIOUS!!!! I was thinking the same thing. Who has this happen to them? I made it all these years and somehow evaded the FEDS, RICO, Detectives, DAs, Judges, trials. And I’m from Jersey! Go know.

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  13. LaurieNYC

    Am I the only one who thinks that a show of Joe Guidice and Rosie drinking could be the best thing ever? Of course you’d need a guest appearance every episode by the wickedly clever Milania and her one liners “you’re not a cooker, you’re a hooker”. I’d watch that. HILARIOUS!

  14. while we are making fun of doofuses for misusing language, anyone catch melissa’s husband (could be tre’s) saying “It’s inedible, it was bound to happen” ? LOL. it was a couple shows ago. they rag on her about techses but nobody says anything about inedible vs inevitable? we have a damn you autocorrect webpage, might as well have a malapropisms of the jersey housewives page, too

  15. lori

    This reunion do far had been exactly what we all knew it would be… more of the same ole same ole. Round and round and round they go, will they ever stop?, I think the answers no.

    The one thing that stood out for me is that Melissa is one of the most passive aggressive people I’ve ever seen. I was yelling at my tv a few times last night it was driving me so crazy. She is every bit the liar that Teresa is. And I HEARD/ saw that live performance before it got yanked off the internet. Trust me, it was all her, and it was bad times infinity. In the words of Vicky, She’s such a liar face.

  16. How can you applaud Caroline for calling out Teresa when Caroline has lied for 3 seasons now?

  17. Gingersnap

    Dr. V actually got Teresa to say it was a shitty thing to do, lying on Caroline like that. Teresa likes Dr. V because she is pretty, and Teresa like pretty people. Caroline is blubber, blubber and blubber, so the same rules don’t apply, but Dr. V pulled it out of her. Commendable.

    When Andy was dogging Melissa about her autotuned crap music, Teresa’s eyes were blinking furiously. It was funny.

    I thought it was a very natural thing to do when Rosie grabbed Joey’s junk. I didn’t feel the least bit offended. Couple of guys grabbing junk on national television doesn’t even faze me. I’ve become jaded.

    Andy must be listening to the peeps telling him he’s too soft on these Reunion shows, which he has been. He was throwing some shade too. I liked it.

  18. Cadence Michaels

    I think it is funny that Caroline would get upset that Teresa said that her and Al were arguing during the trip when Caroline has said much worse about Teresa marriage to Joe and how she is to blame for Joe’s trouble and how she would leave him once he went to jail and write a book about it. What a hypocrite. Such a double standered. Andy didn’t bring up half the stuff Melissa said about Tre this season. Her wine sucks, no real endorsements, cheesy products, marriage is fake, This is my last season of watching this show.

  19. Dvr’d it and forced myself to watch tonight.

    Kathy looked like Benjamin Moore applied her makeup. She took smokey eyes to a five alarmer. I thought caro’s and Jac’s dresses both looked like cheap polyester double knits.

    I’ve never seen Teresa so well spoken. It was like she’s been drunk for the last two years and just sobered up.

    Melissa is a moron who is completely unself aware. Um…they pulled the video because it wasn’t the real official video. It didn’t have “the backing track music”. So…that left …her voice? So sad that she continues to delude herself.

    And somehow, she continues to blame Teresa for things that are much less worse than what she does. And lil maryjoe buys it hook line and sinker. It’s going to be a pretty day when they turn on each other and she feels the wrath of roid. And it will happen. I’ve no doubt.

  20. Bravocueen

    O/T: Tamara, have you seen the video of Melissa singing without autotune? It was for the radio station and a clip of it was up briefly. I wish to GOD I had saved it because word on the street is that Melissa’s managers had it taken down. If you haven’t seen it, it was the most awful thing in the world! So so bad. It made the Countess’s singing sound good!! I wanted something bad to be able to see the looks on the audience face! On the actual show, the autotuned version was played. . .

  21. I never watch any housewife crap or even Andy anymore. I had to breakup, it was causing me too much angst. I just read the recaps here and there. I’m amazed that it is being said that Tre is calm and more well spoken. I would think she would be 10 sheets to the wind on sedatives and anti depressants in order to even be out in public. A real study of people on Mars, or some planet I am not familiar with. I thought I was pretty familiar with crazy, maybe not so much.

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