Tonight, MAMA ELSA comes back! Truly this is all I care about. This will probably be a short recap since (I know y’all are tired of hearing it and I am tired of saying it) I have felt like crap the last few days. Mostly just feverish and grumpy. I have actually seen the first look where we spend way too much time getting the two brides together (with grooms in tow) to make up. Joanna is not a very good fake crier. Her whole story about her mother seeing Adriana’s RT was bogus. I am sure her mother has seen worse.
I love that Lisa made Lenny do some lipo and that he is being a baby about it. I don’t understand how Lisa touching his shoulder is hurting Lenny’s lipo area. Also, if he is bleeding out as bad as Lisa claims he would need to go to the ER. Hell, maybe he was bleeding that bad. Later they show him up and around and he looks HORRIBLE. Huge amounts of scary bruising and a big hole. Is that normal?
Alexia and Marysol are cleaning and saging Mama Elsa’s house and filling it with bright yellow flowers. I love that Marysol calls Alexia, “Al.” I always wondered why the sage didn’t burn like a Biblical bush when people use it to smudge. I wonder about weird stuff. Lea never reached out to Mama Elsa and Marysol is hurt by that.
Did Marysol say her father is a locksmith? Marysol’s father is adorable. He’s from Connecticut. He refused to learn Spanish. He’s 84. They were in the process of divorcing at 84? What is the point of that?
MAMA ELSA IS HOME! She has brain injury and is cranky. I am sad that Mama Elsa is so ill.
Peter and his grandmother/shrink go to dinner for some on camera therapy. Peter did not know about his father being a criminal until he was 14. Grandma says his father was a loser and he does not want Peter to be a loser too. She says Peter has low self-esteem. She tells him he needs to get himself together and get on with his life.
Later Peter talks to his mom at the baseball park where Peter used to play T-ball. Alexia explains to Peter she did not tell him about his father in order to protect Peter. Lots of tears.
Joanna and Romain are finally both at the sex therapist to find out why Romain is
gay not interested in sex with Joanna. Joanna feels like Romain should want to fuck all the time. She says it’s up to him to “find a hole.” Lovely. Romain wants to be romanced. Or something. She gives them sex homework.
Joanna and Romain role play at a bar. Joanna wears a wig and pretends to be Natalia. For someone who wants to get laid, she is trying to play hard to get. They make it to a hotel room. Will he find a hole? Jesus. This is ridiculous and we really don’t need to watch Joanna reenact her fetish movies. Romain isn’t impressed either.
Adriana is planning her crazy wedding which requires all attendees to change clothes after the ceremony into “Great Gatsby Attire.” She has Marysol planning her bachelorette party even though she is busy taking care of Mama Elsa. Lauren Foster shows up at the bachelorette and she looks so great I hardly even recognize her. The party is very tame, and very Marysol. Alexia and Lauren and Lisa want to spice things up. Adriana wants to burn her original wedding dress (with the price tag still on it.) They manage to burn the dress without the fire department needing to be called. And it looks like we end it there.
Did I miss Lea on this episode? And no Anna? Looks like we see them both next week.