Please Welcome, Tamra and Eddie Judge!

Photo Credit: Bravo

Photo Credit: Bravo

Why is tonight’s episode showing up as episode 2 on my TV’s description thingy? I thought this was three and the last one. Let’s hope that is a mistake.  Anyhoo, we begin with seating charts and fake scripted crap about Eddie not wanting the other wives there. I mean it’s not like these two didn’t jello wrestly Gretchen and Slade to get the free wedding spin-off.

Are they seriously at a place called Pretty Kitty to get their chuckalina’s waxed? I can see the bride having that done, but is it necessary for the entire wedding party to march down the aisle with puffy chuckys straight from a Brazilian as well?  I have never been asked to wax my floors, so to speak, as part of my wedding party obligations. Though I suppose it’s probably less painful than some other parts of supporting a bridezilla. Thankfully, she has her best gay and some other dude to bear witness. Because, that happened.

She has a straight looking male florist? Is that even allowed at the Saint Regis? Well, there is also moonshine, so I may as well quit counting the faux pas. Is faux pas both plural and single? I have a fever and don’t feel like looking it up.

Diane, the wedding planner, deserves a HUGE paycheck for this. Not suprisingly the grooms side is out crying the bride’s size. (Sidenote: The RHOBH’s promo looks fantastic! Why is Yolanda being mean to Ken?)

The ceremony is very pretty. What is hanging off Tamra’s left arm? A pocket book? The world’s largest corsage? Is that part of her bouquet? I was totally concerned about the flowers the moment I laid eyes on the florist. I see I was right. Is is some sort of ginormous orchid bracelet? And the gay of honor seems to be carrying.. God only knows.  Margaret Thatcher is doing the vows! That is kind of awesome!  She really did need her chuckalina waxed. There is no room for pubic hair in that dress.

Oh there are some pieces of an old chandelier in the “bridal bouquet thingy” how, um, interesting. Her hands also seem to be somehow cuffed together, so perhaps the bouquet will serve a purpose on their wedding night as well. How versatile (like Eddie) ! Oh maybe they are not connected. Yet.  The ceremony ends and Tamra walks back to the stairs with Eddie. I don’t know how they got her back up them. Crane? Rappelling gear?  Over Eddie’s Shoulder? It will forever remain a mystery I suppose.

The wedding cake is suspended and tastefully set off with giant anal beads as a nod to Eddie. The bride’s mom walks in with a full mason jar of moonshine. I am not kidding.  Vicki says she was shocked Tamra’s reception was not more like her, “mediocre.”

No cat fights everyone got along. No drama. The end!

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22 Comments

Filed under Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Jim Bellino, Real Housewives of Orange County, RHOOC, Vicki Gunvalson

22 responses to “Please Welcome, Tamra and Eddie Judge!

  1. Becstar

    Why did she look like a lost mental patient when she was walking down to the aisle? I almost felt bad for her until the absurdity of the entire ordeal donned on me. I bet Gretchen is chomping at the bit to break out all of her wedding costumes.

  2. Gingersnap

    I watched it for the bling and wasn’t disappointed. I loved the cake…it was a thing of beauty even if it was suspended by giant anal beads. Sigh. The photo booth was a crazy cool idea. I even liked Eddie’s ring. Fabulous wedding, and I hope the marriage lasts.

    • I thought the cake was atrocious! Am I the only one? I was going to talk about the giant cardboard cake and got distracted by the anal beads.

      • Gingersnap

        You did? I thought it was gorgeous. Different strokes for different folks, I s’pose :)

      • Y’all made me go to Bravo Media Village for an anal bead pic. I hate that place, it changes its password more than my bank. It’s like fort knox. BUT I DID IT FOR YOU and there was no anal bead picture. Not picture of the hideous cake at all. It took me a billion tries to set a new password!

        There was a picture of Heather who appeared to be giving a vocal performance at the reception. I don’t remember them showing that. It’s hard to tell from the pic but she seems to be singing and not speaking based on body positioning.

      • Gingersnap

        Oh, and they just said on WWHL it cost a mere $25,000.00. Decadent indeed.

  3. Puravidacostarica

    How come you assume the analbeads are for Eddie?

  4. eastjames

    Thanks TT! Just shot vodka/cran out my nose over the anal beads!

  5. Thanks for pointing out the anal beads. I was having similar thoughts, lol

  6. Nicole

    I didn’t watch the wedding but I did catch Tamara and Eddie on WWHL and I thought Tamara looked great!!! I love her shorter hair styling and even the grey-blue dress looked good on her. I thought the story about the vows Eddie made to the kids were sweet too. Funny how Eddie did not like the fact that Tamara put on those underwear right there in the studio! Did you see him straightening her dress after she put on the panties right there?

  7. Darla

    I caught them on WWHL and Tamara looks yuck.Her face is so puffy with fillers she looks old. And her teeth look weird.Maybe, I think she had a neck lift as well.Major work done. Maybe Dr.Terry did it free of charge. She’s a user of friends. I wonder if they will have a spinoff The Divorces of OC? Can’t wait!

    • I have fortunately blocked most of it, but I recall her embarassing the hell out of Eddie at the end of the show and I laughed. Yeah, it will last a little longer than flash in the pan, because it’s his first marriage. I think its his first.

  8. I was all proud of the fact that I wouldn’t give her mean ass the time of day and this is the first blogging I’ve indulged in……only to find they showed BH Previews??? They could’ve possibly lured a couple of us to watch if that was advertised outside of her show :(

  9. JrLeaguer

    Mom “Shootin’ the hootch” at the wedding reception was Klassy with a capital “K”…I was also thinking that Brooks and Lynn did not get the memo that the cake contained edible diamonds and were probably wondering if there was a pawn shop on the grounds of the St. Regis. As for Vicki…Gee, passive aggressive much???

  10. TMarsh

    I believe its Eddie’s second marriage. Unless, I’m mixing up my “house” husbands, he referenced being a divorcee.

  11. i thought the cake wouldve been beautiful if it hadnt been suspended on that swing. the mediocre comment was so disappointing. :( i think both tamra n eddie can be cold sometimes but wish them both well. one of the saddest things i’ve seen on reality tv was her face when she told simon in the car that she wanted a divorce. my heart just dropped.

  12. Joan

    I think that it’s Eddie’s second marriage as well. I don’t know why – but as I watched it I thought it was so commercial looking….flowers & reception room were gorgeous, but everything else looked odd to me….who knows why? Eddie is much more conservative than her (ie. strippers, panties on WWHL) and with time if he asserts himself it will be the same old story – just like with Simon. I do believe they are sincere of their love for one another – but all of us know that once the blush of the 1st year or so is over, the real work begins.

  13. eg

    I thought that wedding was really pretty. It was the prettiest one I’ve seen on tv in a long time (since Lisa Vs’ daughters’ wedding on BH) The decorations were beautiful, and even though I don’t care for spazzy Tamra, I did like her dress and the dresses of her bridesmaids. Her wedding planner did a great job.

    • I agree with the wedding planner giving her what she wanted,..But I can’t believe how BAD the wedding was at the St Regis. It’s not their fault obviously. But honest to GAWD it takes a lot to fuck up that location and they managed to do it.

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