Tonight on Real Housewives of Miami, I love knowing that Karent is watching every week at her parents house wishing she was still on. Is that mean?
Romain takes Joanna to see their new house. She hates it. Until she sees it is on the water. The view is awesome. Romain refuses to sleep with her.
I can’t imagine Alexia going by Al. LOL I love boys names for girls but Alexia is such a Cuban Barbie. They are meeting with a tarot card reader. I love this show. I also sort of believe in this. Shut up. The card reader says Mama Elsa is going to be fine but that some old woman around fifty has done black magic on her. LEA BLACK IS A BLACK WITCH!
Lea’s house design continues. Lisa is there looking for designers. Lisa looks for an excuse to recap last week. Sigh. I hate these staged, sponsored scenes. That said, I know that Adriana used Lea. I just kind of think it is funny.
So we are at sex therapy with Joanna. If you look like Joanna Krupa, and you are not getting sex either your boyfriend is gay, or he is seeing someone else. Neither is a good option. (sorry dog walk break. kinda a scary one) Marta isn’t really into Joanna’s wedding. Because Romain doesn’t fuck her. The sex therapist says she emasculates Romain by calling him the girl in the relationship. The therapist is stupid.
Is Lance Bass some sort of convict or deplorable person? Because she seems drawn to them. Oh no! He is a radio DJ now? So she is just out for publicity. It’s time for the Black Gala.
Meanwhile, why do I not have a free media subscription to Alexia’s Venue magazine? I want. DM ME ALEXIA! Anyway, Venue is having a party and I was NOT invited. lol. But it appears to be drama filled before it even starts.
Joanna and Romain seem to have a horrible relationship. Clearly, Romain despises her as much as I do. No straight guy would not fuck Joanna every night even if he hated her, so why is he marrying her? For the show? He clearly gets it elsewhere often.
Adrianna and Lisa talk about why Lisa is not getting laid. Jesus Christ, is all that plastic surgery not paying off? Are all of their men impotent? So Lisa confronts Adrianna about lying about his wedding. Adrianna keeps changing her story. It’s all bullshit. She is MARRIED. It is public record. Everything out of Adriana’s mouth is a lie. I am not a Lea fan, but clearly, Lea is telling the truth in THIS situation. Adrianna asks Lisa to be a bridesmaid.
Lisa skips the Venue to focus on sexy time with her husband (on camera). Lea literally begs Alexia and Herman to come to her gala. Adrianna and Fred show up at the Venue party. As do Romain and Joanna. Later Romain attempts to confront Fred ( I would really rather call him Marq) in broken French about his fiancée who he can’t bear to fuck being the victim of Adrianna’s physical attack. Look, I don’t like Adrianna but I just don’t think she hit Joanna hard enough. Clearly no sense was knocked into her. Adriana is screaming at Joanna that Romain is sleeping with a Columbian girl. Marq wants to clear the air that Lea never gave anything to Adriana while she was with him and she agrees WTF?
LOL Ana is there and Lea is pissed. I love Ana. It appears there may be a blow up next week. Instead of going to Lea’s gala, Marysol Alexia, Adrianna and Ana go to a gay pride event. I love it!