It’s time for another episode of Real Housewives of Miami and I really do love this franchise. Even though we start out with Joanna and Romain talking about the wedding. There is still animosity between Marta (who has moved to PA to live with her race car driver boyfriend) and Romain. Of course Marta will be the maid of honor but Romain wants to cause some drama about that because Marta knows he is a cheater and the marriage is a sham. Whatever, Romain. Even for fake weddings, the groom has no say in who is the maid of honor. Other topics of note: Joanna wants a slutty bridal gown (shocker!) and Romain wants a prenup (shocker!).
Marysol and Alexia are out jogging and they stop to talk about Mama Elsa. Marysol is having a hard time seeing her mother covered with life supporting hoses and contraptions. Alexia knows how hard this is because Frankie almost died and it was touch and go for so long. They bond over the issue. I am distracted by their expensive sunglasses which I am not sure how I feel about. Alexia is just stunningly beautiful. She is prettier working out than when she gets all glammed up. Marysol too. Their workout stuff is really attractive. I’ll stop blabbering. I just love these women. Marysol says if it wasn’t for you I don’t think I could hold it together. Production used a frankenbite to insert “and Adriana” in there. Interesting edit.
Adriana is in bed with Marq and seems to be blaming Lea Black for the media getting the information about them already being married. She claims that the author of the story, Lesley Abravanel is “super close” to Lea. That’s bullshit. I have exchanged emails with Lesley several times about blogger stuff and she is always very helpful. I also happen to know the origin of the marriage story and how it got out and I can assure you Lea Black had nothing to do with it. EDITED TO ADD LINK TO LESLEY ABRAVANEL’S BLOG. Be sure to read all the comments!
I was there during the genesis of the story. Here is what happened. First, you have to understand the bizarre world of twitter. There are a few people on twitter who spend their lives trying to
research dig up dirt on housewives. While that something that many bloggers devote time to, these particular types fancy themselves as some sort of bloggerless bloggers. They post a link to a public record, such as the marriage records for Adriana and Mark and somehow they expect to be quoted and linked as if they actually had a blog. I don’t understand this thinking. “Hey look over here!” does not equal some sort of journalistic intellectual property. So several people told me about this tweet and I went over, read it, thought it wasn’t better than the story I was currently working on with a source whose time is hard to come by and left it alone. Lesley was contacted in the same way…”someone on twitter says… you should check it out.” She did and she wrote the story. Then this twatter twit was all up in her comments claiming this bloggerless blogger should be credited. Which is utterly ridiculous. However, Lesley is one of the nicest people on earth and said if they could link her to the tweet she would make sure the world knew or whatever. It was pretty fucking funny at the time and I remember it because so many bloggers were mocking this particular twatter who puts the twat in twatter. So Lesley published the story and life goes on
Now Adriana is sure Lea Black is behind it. I am NOT a Lea fan but as someone who witnessed the entire thing go down online, I assure you Lea had nothing to do with it. But Adriana is going to meet with Lea to clear the air with this false notion in her head.
Lisa’s storyline is going to be around the crazy preservationists trying to prevent her from tearing down the Star Island property. Daisy, Lisa’s maid met a rich man after her surgery and is now living large and is no longer a maid. They show the house and there are pissy mattresses and old tampons in the medicine cabinet. Yuck.
Alexia is having her walk in closet redone. He closet is LITERALLY bigger than my house. That said, I don’t like her designer already. Mirrored cubes? Bleck. Tacky. Speaking of unfortunate, Adriana has some really bad wedding ideas. The bride arrives to the church in a hot air balloon? I do sort of like the everyone BUT the bride in white and the bride in a color (go for red).
I never saw that Summer by Bravo commercial with Kim Zolciak before. This simply confirms that she has SEVERAL SEASONS of spinoff coming up.
Lea helps Joanna find bridal shoes. Joanna says she is a lot like Lea but more humble. BWAHAAHHAAHHAAHAH! No shit. She really said that. Joanna is talking with Lisa and Lea about a prenup. Lea doesn’t have one. Or so she says. Lisa does. Long conversation about Adriana being a poor single mother who needed Lea’s help.
Meanwhile, Adriana is gown shopping with Alexia and Marysol and crying because she says she is afraid Marq will back out. No one is believing this. What I am believing is that there was some sort of a glam squad strike on dress shopping day. Adriana’s hair looks like if fought with a lawnmower and lost.
Time for the showdown between Lea and Adriana. Lea knows the facts of the wedding and yet Adriana continues to deny, deny, deny. I would try to recap all the excuses but it is bullshit. Instead, I would like to mock Adrianna’s hair some more. She is a beautiful woman, no doubt, but is she growing out bangs and just in an unfortunate stage of the process or did someone do that to her on purpose? If she is growing them out why not tuck them back with the rest of her ponytail? Whoever is in charge of her hair, and makeup for that matter hates her. Lea is bringing up more facts and quotes from the Abravanel story. At some point Adriana gave Lesley some quotes. Now she is denying even what she said about how they got married on the spur of the moment. She is claiming that Lesley was just trying to hurt her. NOTHING could be farther from the truth. Then Adriana accuses Lea of planting the article. Again, not a Lea fan, but she is telling the truth. Adriana is lying. Even in her talking head, Adriana cannot get her story straight. She says, “I never took anything from her.” followed by “Whatever she gave me I thought was from the bottom of her heart and I never thought I owed her anything.” Adriana is a lying McLiarface. WOW. Lea says she paid $350,ooo together to pay for her son’s back tuition. Adriana’s response is “why do you have to throw that in my face?” Wow. Adriana went after Lea and Lea still tried to help her. She doesn’t even have a car. Lea didn’t deserve that and I am starting to see Lea in a brand new light.