The Real Housewives of Miami Are Back!

RHOM3And so am I!  I have resolved my Internet issues and have been waiting to watch the premiere until I could blog while watching. It’s FINALLY time!

We are down to five ladies this season which usually makes for a better show, but I would have much rather have had Ana and Marysol than Lea and that slutty Polish chick whose name escapes me.  Anyway, hey Bravo, where is the author credit for Lesley  Abravanel’s Miami Herald story on Adriana’s marriage?

Are Purveyors of Pop still producing this show? The production is MILES better than it used to be, fresh editing, fantastic musical choices, eye catching scenery, it’s very well done so far.

YAY! Anna and Marysol are there! Those two and Alexia and Lisa are waiting on Adriana to plan her “wedding.”  Ana and Lisa are already clashing. I understand why, but I hope Ana cuts Lisa some slack this season. Lisa is just very young and um, not as well-educated as Ana but I started to like Lisa last season and would like to see her with the fun girls and not the Polish chick and one with all the male criminal friends. Someone needs to look out for Lisa.  Lisa said that Adriana and Marq were the only ones who came to her (unfilmed) 30th birthday party. That said, Lisa is the first to confront Adriana when she arrives to the bridal salon about the fact that she has been married for five years (not to mention her storyline was fear of commitment).

RHOM3.3Adriana is trying to explain the fact that she has been lying about being married for five years. It makes absolutely no sense. I don’t just mean the accent and the unusual syntax. I mean that she is somehow blaming Marq for the lies she has told.  The blame Marq storyline goes like this… Marq called off the wedding five years ago. This is a lie. They are married. Or sometimes she says they are technically married but she doesn’t feel married. Um, whatever. She has been married for five years.  I have body dysmorphia in  reverse. I don’t feel like a fat person.  Or an old person.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I am. Feelings do not influences facts in any language, Adriana. Not even the language of love.

Meanwhile, Lea takes whatsherface to the Jag dealership were Romain has apparently bought her a car. (I am literally still blanking on her name.) I think this sort of thing only happens on real housewives shows that are sponsored by the car company. I also don’t think the people get to keep the car after filming ends or else are offered a good price to purchase it.  I would love whatever car my man decided to buy for me as a surprise, but honestly, I would much rather pick my own damn car.  Can you imagine having to drive a corvette everyday for example?  Have you ever gotten in and out of one of those things? They are dreadful.  And hard to park. I want to pick my own colors and interior. Anyway, I digress.

OMG! Frankie!  He is doing so great! I mean seriously. I followed his accident very closely and was very worried about him. He was treated for a long time in Atlanta at Shepard Spinal and I would tweet with Alexia while she was with him here. She is such a strong and admirable woman.  Alexia’s mother in on for the first time and I love her already.  Cuban grandmother word’s of wisdom, “The problem with men is they all have a castration complex. Since we were born already castrated we don’t have that problem.”  Um, I will have to marinate on that one for a while. I predict Andy loves her. Oh she is a psychiatrist.

I can’t believe Alexia is going to discuss the situation with Peter. You may have read on other blogs (but not here) that Peter assaulted a homeless man and had a court appearance to be sentenced. With all the things going on with Alexia my heart just broke for her. It shows her strength to go on national television and admit that her son did a horrible thing. Peter doesn’t really speak to the issue at all and still seems lost.

Lea is redecorating or something. But whatever, Freda is back. It seems Lea has a birdbath in her ballroom. She does have some interesting art;  but, I’m not kidding about the birdbath.

RHOM3.2JOANNA! Finally someone said her name. Romain is still not giving Joanna any sex. He HAS to be gay. I hate Joanna and I am a straight female, and I’d  chose her if I was taken hostage and forced to have lesbian sex!  Physically, she is perfect. It’s the whole PETA intellect (now there is an oxymoron) that annoys the crap out of me.  Adriana has arrived to Lisa’s with the rest of the  girls for the first brawl of the season. Round one on the fight card is Lea v. Adriana.  Lea forfeits by not showing up so Adriana wins by default. Adriana is now saying that Lea was her maid of honor at the wedding she denies having. Wait, what???

Everyone is going in on Lea in their talking heads and at Lisa’s party. Alexia says that Lea was trash talking her as a mother and saying that Peter deserved 25 years for his assault charge. Sure Peter was guilty and needed to pay for his awful crime, but Lea Black’s only friends are convicted felons and the worst humans on earth that her criminal defense attorney husband gets off. Really Lea?

OMG! Mama Elsa is not doing well! She had a head injury! Did I know this and just blocked it out? She had emergency brain surgery. It sounds like she has lost her speech. I am devastated and need to go read Marysol’s blog if she has one this season. What a horrible note to end on!

The previews look great. They show Mama Elsa talking and hanging out with Marysol, THANK GOD.  And we have a couple bridezillas which should be fun. And a deeper look at Alexia and her boys. I can’t wait! But now, I have got to go buy Banjo some dog food before he chews my foot off due to hunger.


Filed under Ana Quincoces, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

17 responses to “The Real Housewives of Miami Are Back!

  1. Twilly

    Lea is a snake and I’m glad the women are seeing past her jewels and “important” husband and seeing her true colors. It was so irritating to watch everyone kiss her ass last season.

  2. ha! we weren’t born castrated — we were born with tiny penises and no need to overcompensate! …well, most of us women, anyway…

  3. Heartland

    Hi Tamara, so happy you are back in action ..(with the Internet situation) I am sad when I come here and see no updates :( Hope you had a great weekend

  4. lori

    So glad that you got your Internet back. I have the exact opposite opinion of the show. I thought the new filming style made it feel more fake than ever. I almost barely have any desire to watch this season because as of right now I am not interested in any of them. You know I will watch anyway and hope that I will somehow be excited about this crew again. The whole situation with Adriana really turns me off, because as you said, her fear of commitment was a huge part of her storyline, and the way they all handled it during the show, like walking on eggshells, annoyed me even more. I’m sure that is probably partly the reason I am feeling the way I do about this show right now. Since that was the opening scene, I went into it feeling like it’s all bullcrap. I was very sorry to hear about Mama Elsa. I think on wwhl Marysol said it was an aneurysm. :( It really breaks my heart for Marysol. I can imagine how scared she must be. Their relationship reminds me a lot of me and my mom. I also liked Alexia’s Mom and hope they show more of her.

  5. SB

    This is by far my favorite housewives franchise. Maybe it’s the Miami scenery but it just feels “fresher” than the other franchises. I also really liked the production of the show so far, it is very novela-esque!

  6. The Disher

    Thanks for showing compassion for Alexia and her sons. I cannot imagine going through that kind of hell and had no idea her son was at Shepherd in ATL. A mother in that kind of crisis, having to hold her family together while her other son is lost & troubled. So sad. Glad to see improvement.

    • Alexia is amazing. She tweeted ME some kind words of support as she was sitting next to her critically injured son. Her husband is very kind as well.

      • peachteachr

        One of my younger girlfriends had a 16 year old son have an aneurysm (sp?) and recuperated at Shepherd’s. That was one of 2 places that Christopher Reeves, Superman, looked at but he wound up somewhere in NJ, I think. I, too, find Alexia a favorite. She was preparing the older son to be a model at one time. He’s very cute so maybe he needs to do a public pennance in order to move forward. Who among us believes that Lea would have made a similiar choice?

  7. otherpeoplesproblems

    The new filming reminded me of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. I joke that I only watch LHHATL for the cinematography! The shots are sooo ridiculous. A character will walk up to the restaurant and they’ll do a fade in, then a panning close up of the red bottom and then fade out, and then start the scene. It’s hilariously fake. I like it but I agree that it does kind of ruin the “reality”. Like at this point they’re just saying ok we know you know that this isn’t real so let’s just treat it like a scripted show and up the production value. I’m into it, I think.

    I can see why you hate Joanna, but she’s soooooooo beautiful! I can’t tell if I like her because she’s so freaking gorgeous or… She’s an awful drunk I’ll admit that. But I kinda like her. Or I just like lookin at her, who cares.

    Speaking of beauty, how is it that Joanna and Lisa are the same general age and Lisa looks SOOO TERRIBLE. Her face on my TV terrifies me. This woman is 30. She looks like a terrible accident victim whose face had to be reconstructed. She just looks awful! I think she’s nice but god her face is the stuff of nightmares.

    I think Adriana’s smart and shrewd and I like her for that most of the time. She knew exactly what she was doing with the fake wedding, and I don’t know if I really hate her for it like I “should”… it goes along with my production sentiments: at this point, let’s cut the BS and just admit that it’s all fake and enjoy the ride.

    I miss Ana :( She was my favorite.

    • Ana was on. I just don’t expect her to agree to do any scenes with Lea. I am interested in what criminal friend Lea brings on next. I think Lea thinks everyone in the world has the same drive for money that she does. Let’s face it, she is not the only housewife who married a wealthy man. But I get the feeling that she thinks the only reason a friend would like her is because of her money. For example, she feels like she shared the wealth with Adriana, and she still was not there for her. I think Lea is lonely and doesn’t trust anyone to like her for her so she copes by being a gossipy bitch in hopes of shining the spotlight on other people’s issues.

      • You know I have to reply to this my dear Ms. Tamara! I loathe Lea. I have never felt this way about any other hw on any of the shows. Not even Jill Zarin was a despicable as Lea. Always pimping her stupid creams and all too. She is a dangerous snake in the grass. I too really like Ana! I agree completely with your insight into Lea. As usual well said and so glad you are back!

    • pdt090

      I thought of L&HHA immediately too. I don’t know how I feel about it, technically the quality is much better but it feels like they’re breaking the reality tv fourth wall in a way.

      Speaking of fake shit, it was always obvious Adrianna’s storylines with the Frenchmen were fake. One season he didn’t want to marry her, next she didn’t want to marry him, now they’ve always been married. She’s been an awful actress from the getgo

  8. Urethra Franklin

    Ana has less presence this season. A couple of months ago she said she can’t say why, but as the season progresses it will be obvious.
    After watching her co host The View earlier this summer, I think maybe she is a candidate to be a regular at the table. The View has been auditioning & rotating Latina co-hosts all summer. I think Ana has only co-hosted once.

    • I’d love her to be on The View! She would be great! She is smart, beautiful, an attorney and a chef. That covers a lot of The View bases.

      However, I think it has more to do with Lea. I have not asked her about it. That is merely speculation on my part.

  9. Amy in LV

    so happy you are back TT!

  10. SB

    Ana definitely is not “housewives” material because she is not dramatic! She was the most level headed and intelligent of the bunch, so of course they canned her.

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