Long Island Princesses Recap: Ashlee is Funny (Looking)

princessAmanda, Erica and Joey go hiking. Erica and Amanda let Joey know that Ashlee has been trashing her behind her back since the beginning. Ashlee doesn’t like “poor people” from Freeport.

Chanel has gone to see her Rabbi to talk to him about her losing mind at the hanky party. Basically, he tells her to draw on the strength of her ancestors.

WAIT WHUT? Erica and Rob are buying a house together? They are looking at million dollar houses?  Rob can afford a two million dollar house? What does he do again? Why is a rich, reasonably attractive guy smothering a random used up high school slut who could care less about him? I feel like this is like when Nene went million dollar “house shopping in Miami.” Apparently, Andy’s real estate agent friends pay him to air a house showing or two. Meanwhile, Erica is worried about her vagina. Isn’t it a little late for that? She is talking about how she doesn’t want to gain 20 pounds have a baby. She looks like she would gain 50 and give birth to a kid with fetal alcohol syndrome who her mother would say was just fine.  Don’t worry honey. That baby will drop right out of you like a hot dog down an elevator shaft.

Amanda and Jeff got out to lunch with Jeff’s parents at a Kosher Jewish Deli. Jeff inappropriately paws Amanda through lunch. Apparently, the purpose of lunch was to see if Amanda liked the family engagement ring. Plan to see it again in the season finale.

Chanel is being set up with her family with an Israeli dress maker. He’s kinda cute in a gelled fauxhawk sort of twinky way.

princesspediAshlee is learning how to set a table. She is 30 and her gay father/fiancé is having to teach her. As she walks away her gay fiancé/father tell her to “shake it.” Ashlee does not know how to put frozen broccoli in the microwave. Perhaps she can’t read. Her fiancé reads the directions to her which are, open the bag, put in microwaveable bowl with some water, turn on the microwave, use potholders to take out of the…..oh fuck it. She just had her daddy do it. At dinner, Ashlee and Casey trash Joey. Ashlee’s dad thought she was lovely.

Chanel wears way too much eye make-up on the date. Chanel hears a deal breaker anyway. He wants a traditional wife. Chanel doesn’t see herself cooking and cleaning.

PrincessJellyJoey meets up with Ashlee to try to smooth things over with her. Is Joey related to Bethenny Frankel? They look alike and act alike. Ashlee is insulting and annoying and Ashlee. Ashlee tries to lie her way out backstabbing Joey. Ashlee says it isn’t nice to tell her to go call her dad! LOL.  When you call your daddy constantly, what is bad about suggesting you do it again? How does that make Joey (she tweeted me, I don’t think she liked my nickname :( That is what I get for breaking my own name rule.) a bad person? Ashlee says she is funny and Joey says, “maybe funny looking” which IS funny and Ashlee has a meltdown. I am cracking up. Ashlee pays the bill and leaves because Joey made a joke that dinosaurs made to each other in the Jurassic Period. Seriously. She is having a little troll like tantrum. Is Ashlee related to any troll dolls? They look and act alike. Ashlee barely makes it out the door and she calls her fiancé/father who tells her she is not funny looking and Joey is horrible. Joey is crying. WHY? Why would Joey even give this chick the time  of day? Next week it looks like Joey’s dad throws her out of the house. WHY MUST PEOPLE TORMENT MY JELLY JOEY?This is a stupid show for stupids!


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36 responses to “Long Island Princesses Recap: Ashlee is Funny (Looking)

  1. Urethra Franklin

    Why are the artworks on the walls always blurred out? Do these people have Picasso’s & Renoir’s? Is it a safety measure so no one will know there is valuable art to steal? Is it a copyright thing? I’ve seen that on other shows also. All of this is more interesting than the show itself. And my first thought of the dress designer was he’s a flaming gay. He’s the best man too? Oy Vey….And those dresses were hideous.

  2. I like Jelly better. She is too good for this piece of crap show.

  3. SB

    Glad to see my favorite long island princess is getting some screen time! (That means you, Ashlee’s dad!)

  4. Charlie and Co.

    Love Joey. Ashlee just missed being a little person or did she….looks like she is all of 4’5″. And at her age why does have a hunched back like a little old lady and has wrinkles in her face as if she was 45-50 years old. Her negative attitude about people not coming from wealth or an easy income makes her a horrible person whether she believes it or not..

    • SB

      Well, I don’t know if you’ve seen Ashlee’s mother on the show, not sure how old she is but she looks like she’s 80. Seriously, I hope Ashlee ages better than she did!

      • Willow

        Her Mom,although, she’s obviously had surgery, she didn’t have much done around the eyes, she needs to get some Botox . At first I thought her Dad was kinda cool, and just a bit eccentric , I don’t know now, something just seems to weird there.. Ashlee ,I don’t know what to think about her. She’s incredibly spoiled, has no idea how to exist in the world, I really think it would be better if she just lives with her parents, until they pass, then just inherit everything, and she can continue to live in her family home forever, with various boyfriends (servants), chefs and maids… I think that’s the only way she can manage to get through life.

    • Lisa Monroe

      “Coming from wealth” – come on do any of their houses look like they “come from wealth”? They show the big McMansions but then quickly zoom in on Ashlee’s small, dated, one window house and its embarrassing. Have you seen the inside of all their houses!? Definitely not looking like they are “coming from wealth”. Amanda’s bedroom looks like the size of my closet and believe me, I don’t “come from wealth”. None of them look like “Princesses” and none of them look or act like they “come from wealth”‘ or even dress like it! PULEEZE!!!!! :)

      • not that i’m an expert or anything but i had lots of jewish boyfriends and my best friends in new york and california were jewish. joey and erica seem very much like princesses i’ve met. maybe casey, too. the others seem more like regular jewish girls.

      • well, being an obvious lush probably now disqualifies erica as a princess…

      • Mina

        Thank you! That’s what I was thinking. Wealth??? What in the world? Regular houses, ugly furnishings. I didn’t get that. It isn’t Block Island, an older penthouse or manse in Manhattan, Bronxville, or Dubai! It’s not old money, oil money, or robber baron money. It’s Long Guyland! What in the world. And it’s new money, at best. Oh please. I thought that was hilarious. It’s just regular people with a little extra to flaunt in cheesy ways. Give me a break. Oy Vey. I am feeling a bit verklempt…God help them in the real world away from the nucleus of those cookie cutter houses with the Big Lots furniture, and their parents, who facilitate their naive tiny lives.

      • Belinda

        MINA….. why did you mention Block Island ? I have had a summer home there for 30 years and been going there since I was a kid. My favorite place anywhere in the world !

      • Twilly

        Exactly! Maybe upper middle class, but definitely not wealthy.

      • Olive

        I live about 3 towns away, near where these bitches live.

        Tiny Troll’s area is GENERALLY a good- high-end area, but her actual streets/ village are not that fab. Her bedroom was TINY. Doing makeup on the floor? I did that in a hamptons share house with 12 other girls…

        The one who comes from a VERY swanky town is Erica. Again, her bedroom seemed small to me but her town is swanky. Very.

        What I don’t get is how Chanel knows Joey since Chanel is not from the “south shore” — and she keeps emphasizing how “not ghetto” her town is — the very jewish – and now Asian– Great Neck- (where that asshole Reza’s father is from, it was on Shahs). Methinks Chanel is not native to the N. Shore and so makes a point to show how high end her area is. She may have moved there later in her childhood.
        She’s not as ratchet as munchkin wrinkles troll.

    • McAmster

      3 words: Aaryn. BIG. BROTHER.


  5. Charlie and Co.

    Did anyone else notice that Amanda always seems like she his semi off. Her eyes are droopy and she slurs her words when she talks. But in her talking head she seems clear headed. And why does Erica have a nervous tick when she talks. and her hands are always shaking like she is in withdrawal. What is going on over there in Long Island.

    • The Disher

      definitely noticed that Erica has weird nervous ticks and is shaking…is somebody on pills? we know she was taking Adderall at one point, but I don’t know if it causes those issues.

      • Twilly

        Didn’t she take adderall while drinking in one of the earlier episodes? She strikes me as the type to abuse a stimulant. I’m not going to libel her or whatever, but as a girl with experience with it, her talking heads seem a little…cokey to me.

    • McAmster

      Dating a flaming gay man (and I LOVE MY GAYS, so don’t make me into a bully now!), would make anyone… ahem… OFF!

    • some girl

      Erica acts like people I know who have had addiction to stimulants (speed) like methamphetamine, Adderall, Ritalin, etc. Her mannerisms are spot on for that issue. Weird, huh?

  6. all i can say is thank god for the princesses. total trash but needed the break from so much sadness.

  7. Their voices are going to make me murder kittens. The sister who trails off her last word like she’s too lazy to be bothered? Oy. Hate.

    Joey was upset because she gave Ashlee the upper hand. She panicked instead of saying “Csjt you take a joke??” Ashlee may not be funny looking but she does seem about twice her age.

    Chanel is just a hideous mess. It’s not that she wore too much makeup. It’s that she went to him (which is fucking weird– he couldn’t pick her up) expecting to go somewhere nice. He took her to a deli/cafeteria. I’d have been out right there. Actually, besides being effeminate, he is TINY. She would break him. But since…she is a virgin…she may not get that. Oy. A virgin.

    I don’t mind Erica. I think she should pick out a house and go with it. No engagement. What’s she got to lose? But I thought the same thing. Some realtor wanted the house shown. Since it was almost a year ago (I think?) it shouldn’t still be on the market, right? When was this filmed? Had to be last summer right??

  8. James

    Chanel needs to stop! I can only hope that she’s watching this back and seeing how how she looks like a mentally challenged monster when she dances and cuts it out. That guy was ugly and even gayer than Jeff. AND HE TOOK HER TO THE DELI ACROSS THE STREET!!!

    both Ashley and her father are just disgusting….for different reasons but disgusting just the same.

  9. Twilly

    Ashlee is a bad person. She is just awful. It was funny to me that while they were having dinner with Casey in her parents back yard that there was a “ghetto” chain link fence around her parents pool. She’s either faking the whole snob act, or she is just delusional and ridiculously immature.

    Joey was upset because her funny remark (and it was funny!) gave Ashlee more ammo towards her being a “bad person”. Seriously, who gets offended by that? Ashlee sucks.

    • Ashlee is a troll. I’m always happy when a nasty little person on the inside looks the same way on the outside. You can’t always judge a book by its cover, but you sure can with Ashlee. I hope she gets hit by lightning or something and changes her personality. She has no right to judge anybody, considering how she is still sponging off the parents at age 30.

  10. Shanteeirish

    I live on long island on the south shore. First, if Joey’s house is in the ghetto, then I must live in shanty town! These girls can’t love any one they only love themselves! Amanda….oh man….your Mother! Your sister? Your boyfriend? Honey you could do much better! Where could you possible live? Sad..
    Ashlee……did you go to school? How did you do it or did your dad help you? You love in the same house as your next door neighbor….nothing special! Do you work? Have a hobby?

    This show does make the girls on long island look pathetic! And we are NOT!

    • Olive

      I agree with you — and I feel bad for Jewish younger ladies as well because of how they’re being portrayed.

      I have a feeling Chanel (what kind of name is that!!?!?) may have grown up on south shore.
      Too much bad mouthing of north vs west IMO. Annoying. Jelly/Joey is best and Chanel when she doesn’t dance or wear red lipstick

  11. Karen

    A) How someone (Ashlee) who insisted that an employee in a salon carry her to her car because she doesn’t wear flats can call anyone else on the planet a bad person is beyond me.

    B) How Casey can bitch to her New York friend about the group in Long Island being like High School when SHE can’t get over what Erika did to her in HIGH SCHOOL is also beyond me.

    I both like a feel bad for Joey – my father is also a complete and total A$$HOLE.

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