Hey everybody. It is me, Urethra Franklin, guest blogging about BB15 for Tamara while she recharges from her hard life of booze, meds, & TV trials. No grammar policing this blog. I’m very tired & have been up all night watching one of the most ratchet nights I’ve seen on the feeds since the Evel Dick days. WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU ONLY WATCH TV SHOW AND NOT THE FEEDS.
As soon as the feeds are up after the live eviction show, and after Helen’s Mom Squad HOH win, we are back to watching Gina Marie’s epic #meltdown2013 with her crying & boohooing like a braying donkey over Nick’s 7-4 eviction while she is blowing her snot repeatedly into some of Nick’s taint stained shorts. That is as close to his junk as she’s ever going to get. She is holding on to those shorts like some binky blanket for bunny boilers. Nick did not win the game, but he is a winner because he escaped his captor. Stockholm syndrome is not a cute look after all. I hope BB at least gave Nick a gift basket of pepper spray, restraining orders, & fruit (not the gay kind)
As usual, post-eviction nights always leave the HG wondering about the votes. Helen, Candice, Elissa, & Andy worked hard to flip the votes to evict Nick and were able to put the Moving Company alliance out of business. All that is left of it is an empty van with no gas and a missing tire. It was supposed to be an 8-3 vote, but Howard did a double fake flip by flipping his vote to Elissa and lying about his flip so he could frame either Amanda or Jessie depending on the votes so that other HG may not trust them anymore. Shady BB move by the preacher man.
Jeremy surprised the house and viewers with his subdued reaction to the blindside eviction. After losing HOH after the first round, he must have eaten some humble pie. He congratulated Helen for HOH win and started Project Kiss Helen’s Ass. He sucked up to her like a bottle of tequila. It seemed gracious, but oh so very transparent. For the first time Kaitlin impressed me during the HOH competition as she answered those mental questions swiftly & confidently. She might be a worthy player if she wasn’t so dickmatized by Jeremy.
Everybody loves Andy, and he is playing a good social game and continued to TALK TALK TALK to everybody. He does not shut up, and he is playing the game. On the live feeds after the live show, Andy was exhaustingly spinning from HG to HG like a hard working bottom on a lazy Susan. He is in a good spot in the game because of Helen’s HOH win. Now the strongest alliance in the house consists of Helen, Elissa, Candice, Andy, Jessie, Judd, with Spencer & Howard on the cusp of Helen’s wrath when she finds out they are liars in the game.
Aaryn & Kaitlin ganged up on Jessie because she is aligned with the other side of the house and voted against Nick. Jessie told them she did not like them and their mean girl ways, and did not fit in with them. The Mean Girls denied being mean girls while being mean girls. Got that? Aaryn screams at Jessie that Julie Chen was making fun of her during her live show question about her focus on showmances. The fact that Julie Chen threw shade with the lamp at Aaryn escapes her #DelusionalDenials….Kaitlin& Aaryn basically told Jessie she was pathetic & desperate for some male attention. Suddenly Judd walks into the room and leads Jessie out of the room while the verbal assaults continue. Aaryn yells out to Judd “Last call, YOU are nothing but last call. After five guys you are her last choice. LAST CALL.” Judd called them trash as he & Jessie walked out the door.
Ok now to #BedGate. At some point the Lord of the Flies mentality kicked in about the beds, and who was sleeping where and with whom. First Jeremy & Kaitlin wanted to stain another bed since they were no longer sleeping(fucking) in the HOH room. They parked their nasty asses on Jessie’s bed, and she was NOT having it. She & Judd were sharing a bed, and there is only space for one more person. Kaitlin stepped away, but Jeremy nonchalantly stayed on her bed regardless of her protests. He laid his half nekid body on her bed while Jessie’s arms were crossed and stayed pissed the entire time. Then later Aaryn & Candice argued about the beds. Candice put her clothes & stuff on the bed that she claimed for herself & Howard. Candice has been a have not for the week and needed a good night’s bed rest. After Candice left the room, in a fit of Racist Single White Female rage, Aaryn turned the bed off the frame & upright against the wall with Candice’s clothes flying everywhere onto the dirty BB House floor. Candice was seething & furious at the disrespect, hateful actions, & words against her. She put the bed back on the frame. Candice said “If somebody trashes my bed one more time all hell is gonna be in this house.” Well Aaryn starts mocking with neck popping & finger snapping with “GURLL WHAT JA GONNA DO”. She looked ridiculous. Little Miss Sunshine told Candice she probably has crabs and didn’t want her bed. There are more back & forth barbs and mocking, but you all must see the video that is all over the internet. Howard comes into the room with face & fists clenching with racial tension while Candice & Aaryn are yelling at each other. Gina Marie takes a breather from crying into Nicks roller disco shorts long enough to say “Leave Howard out of it because he is a man and not going to fight with a girl.” GM adds “You don’t need Howard to protect you.” Candice stands up and replies with “Well you didn’t need Nick to protect you so shut the fuck up.” Gina Marie bolts out of the bed like bucking bronco and gives her most racist award winning supporting performance yet by a dumb psycho racist bitch. I can’t do it justice by describing it. Please YouTube it because that is the real Gina Marie. Howard to the rescue, and he picks up Candice in a fully erect standing position at her hips and carries her out the door… and just for comic relief I wished Bernice Clifton from DESIGNING WOMEN was there to sing her hysterical rendition of “Black Man, Black Man.”
In the have not room Howard begs & pleads with Candice to stay away from them & the bed too, and to sleep on the floor with him. He tells her he will lose his temper if he is exposed to them and their bigotry. He does not want to give BB producers any footage to label him the angry black man against white girls. BB hits the button, and we get intermittent fishes when he says those things. HMMMM. He passionately begs Candice to be the bigger person and stay away. Candice is fed up with listening to Aaryn’s Greatest Racist Hits and wants to stand up for herself and not give in to the bullying & bigotry. Ultimately Howard gets her to stay away from the bedroom and to sleep on the floor next to him. It was gut wrenching that they were forced to sleep on the floor, both broken hearted & humiliated by Aaryn & Gina Marie. Apparently Howard has an Incredible Hulk like temper that we have not seen yet, and he suppressed it with some hard core praying and CRYING. Yes those little racist mean girls made that big hunky chocolate drop of man cry. Talk about the power of words.
Later Amanda walks in on more infighting between the Aaryn, Jessie, Kaitlin, & Jessie. Someone tries to drag Amanda into it, and she is OH HELL NO. You, you, and you, all you stupid cunts do is lie to each at one point or another in this game. Amanda zeros in on Aaryn for all the drama she is shitting out of her mouth because of her racist foot in mouth disease. She is trying to talk some non-bigoted sense into Aaryn. Well Aaryn starts her “I am a victim” routine. It’s all Candice’s fault. Blah blah blah. She denies she’s racist, and cannot wrap her mind around the fact that she is perceived as racist. She is the victim of being prejudged for being a pretty white girl from the south. She says people expect Texans/southerners to be racist. This dumb bitch now says the house or people in general are prejudiced against southerners. In case ya’ll haven’t heard, people in the south are the new black. Larry the Cable Guy is organizing a march soon.
Between Julie’s ice cold shade, the diary room questions, and the house hating on her, Aaryn starts to cry all alone on the lounger in the bathroom. She is all sad faced and tears and seems introspective. The world’s smallest violin is on strike and won’t play for her. She goes into the water closet/toilet room to cry and blow her nose horn a la Gina Marie. Later she finds Gina Marie crying on the couch. It is nearly 1:30 BBT, seven damn hours later, and she is STILL CRYING over Nick. Aaryn starts to comfort her, and oddly Candice shows up only to assist in comforting Gina Marie also (after bed-gate/racist gate). Gina Marie’s sobs are heard throughout the house #YouBigDummy….I was falling asleep around this time but I was awakened by Aaryn somewhat apologizing to Candice. It was a ridiculous attempt because she talked in circles about what kind of person she is, and no game is going to make her be something she is not, and blah blah blah. It was not sincere enough, and plus it made no sense. I was too tired to care at this point.
Howard’s head is back in the game. He is lying about his vote for Nick. People are whispering & finger pointing. That vote has to be from sneaky pecker flasher Spencer or Howard. Helen is upset that either of them has lied to her. She trusted them 99%.
HOH reveal time for Helen. She is excited, and the HG sees photos of her family. She was given art drawn by her kids. It was all so sweet. Jeremy starts again with Project Kiss Helen’s Ass by saying “I didn’t know your kids draw art. I’m like an artist too” as he fawns over kindergarten quality art. Go figure. The room clears out and Jeremy starts to tell Helen about the Moving Company Alliance. I suspect he was coming clean since the MC has broken up, and he was scrambling to make good with the current HOH to stay safe. Helen & Candice suspected as there was a guy alliance but it wasn’t confirmed until now. Helen is pissed because it is more lies from Spencer & Howard.
Meanwhile in another part of the house McCrae also got all cray cray and revealed the hidden moving company alliance to Amanda. She was annoyed too.
Aaryn and Helen have a talk about working together. Helen seems open to it. The next day Helen rescinds her interest and goes back on her words to Aaryn after hearing about all the bed-gate drama.
The house goes to sleep and so do I. Now it is Friday on the live feeds. I’m tired at this blog writing but I will just give the update without my narrative. SPOILERS ARE COMING….The have not competition took place. It was a messy comp since everyone was covered in something and the bathroom was lined in plastic to keep the mess off. The have nots are Amanda, McCrae, Jessie, & Judd.
Nominations are also later today. Helen is trying to flush the truth out of Howard. He is in her room and she is going all reverse psychology on him to guilt him to tell her the truth. Howard has told Helen two lies 1. The flipped vote for Elissa 2. The moving company alliance.
Howard finally comes clean and tells her the truth about his flipped vote for Elissa. He explains he was trying to frame Amanda and/or Jessie to create targets on them. Helen then starts to mind fuck him some more. “Is there anything else” “Are you sure you told me everything” Helen tells him she might put him on the block for nominations if she can’t trust him. She went all sharp shooter assassin on his ass. He wises up and tells her about the moving company alliance. But check this out, he lied and DENIED he was part of it. He knew about it, but was not part of it. He said it was a 4 man alliance of Jeremy, Spencer, Nick, & McCrae. I don’t know why he did that, but Helen knew he was LYING AGAIN #Busted. He swore on his momma and his pastor that he was telling the truth. He begged her not to send him home, but she put the fear into him by telling him she is putting him on the block for nomination as pawn next to Aaryn so that she can try to backdoor Jeremy. Howard was very upset at this plan. He said “please don’t send me home. I don’t have anything to go home to.”
Nomination ceremony took place early Friday evening and Aaryn & Kaitlin are on the block. Jeremy is the back door target. So maybe next week either the biggest douche or the biggest tiny racist might go home….Hopefully on the live feeds we will find out who the MVP winner is this weekend…..
This is TT! Last night Elissa got MVP. Helen is her closest ally but HOH is going to Helen’s head a little bit. Helen has been doing her best Andy impersonation and is running around talking to everyone. Somehow in all of this she never had time to sit down with Elissa and tell her who to put up. Elissa did what she wanted to with the MVP. Even knowing that Howard and Spencer are shady as fuck, she didn’t want to put up Howard, like Amanda and McCrae wanted, so she put up Spencer.
McCrae made a deal with Howard when he found out (even though he wanted Howard up) he made it seem like it was McCrae and Amanda that saved him and got Howard to give him a one week deal to keep him off the block.
Helen and Elissa had a big fight last night. Elissa feels like everyone is using her for MVP, which she is fine with for now, but no one includes her in game talk. She did the mad cry and Elissa and Helen made up.
Right now Helen is a nervous wreck. They have drawn chips for veto and Jeremy is not playing. They just need to take someone off and Jeremy is gone. Helen is worrying about worst case scenarios. She thinks that Kaitlin might win and not take herself off to save Jeremy (she assumes correctly that Aaryn would go it Jeremy is not an option). Helen is not a calm calculating person. Helen tells EVERYONE EVERYTHING.
As it turns out, Helen is not paranoid about Kaitlin not taking herself off. She is in storage with GM telling her to win the veto and NOT to use it because they want to backdoor Jeremy. Kaitlin says if noms stay the same they will send home Spencer. She is crying over Jeremy. Judd thinks if Kaitlin doesn’t remove herself, they should vote her out for being an idiot. Howard says if noms are the same Aaryn needs to go. It does really matter at this point. I think GM is the only person on the other side playing for veto. I’ll update more after the veto in comments. Or UF will or whoever knows something first.