Despite all of the recent controversy with Long Island: Princesses up to and including their invitation to appear on WWHL being revoked, Bravo made a brief apology, and the show went on as usual.
Ashley, Chanel’s little sister, is getting married. Chanel is trying to hang tough through the entire dress shopping ordeal, bless her heart. There are way too many awkward comments from mother, shopkeepers etc. Ashley has terrible taste in dresses. Oh wait the third dress is decent. Thankfully everyone agrees. Her sister makes Chanel try on a wedding dress. How humiliating. Chanel is such a good sport. I really feel for what she is going through.
Casey, Jelly and Ashlee go Jewish speed dating. Chanel was supposed to go but she got stuck with wedding planning. Joey is nervous without Chanel as a buffer against the other two. The guys shown are um… well let’s just say I hope they are rich. Jelly tells one, “I can see you as a furry.” This ladies and germs is why I love her best and violate my own “no silly name rule” for her. Jelly is love. Jelly is so over these guys she is asking guys how big of a package they are working with, and how many girls they have slept with. It’s hilarious. Ashlee and Casey are not having nearly as much fun. In fact they are appalled by her behavior, because they are boring fucks. They are also freezing Jelly out in that way that sometimes happens in groups of three. They are literally ignoring her. Joey goes to the bar and gets drunk with the bartender while complaining about Casey and Ashlee and then leaves them.
Amanda, the anti-patriot with the stupidest business idea in the world is out with her photographer/straight boyfriend. She wants to have a party for the damn hanky. Oh wait even her straight boyfriend is gay. She is a gay magnet and does not know it. Her guy friend donating money for the party is only a half-step less gay than Jeff. Girlfriend is a gay magnet with broken gaydar. Poor thing.
Jelly and Erica are out at some cool bar/restaurant with a fire pit so that Jelly can carry the gossip from speed dating. Slutty Erica is immediately offended she wasn’t invited despite the fact she is SUPPOSED to be in a relationship. Erica barely listens to Jelly and then talks about how Rob always wants to see her all the time and it is annoying. She says she feels emasculated. I swear that is what she said. She is emasculated because her boyfriend expects to spend time with her. How dare he?
Erica and Jelly go to look for a guy for Jelly but Erica takes several phone numbers. Jelly is embarrassed and decides to leave. Erica reluctantly leaves with her but continues interrogating strange men on the sidewalk.
Ashlee has a date and her mother is encouraging her to show some tit. Oh, her date is the nervous guy from speed dating. I actually thought he was the only diamond in the rough in the speed dating pool. Wish he would have gone for Casey or Jelly over Ashlee though. Ashlee’s
fiancé father immediately asks him why he picked Ashlee and bombards him with questions. What is he supposed to say? I mean he can’t say the producers approached him. He is very nervous. Ashlee hates everything about him. I will admit his laugh is annoying. Still he is way too good for Ashlee.
Erica’s dad asks her to come in and help him in the office. He tells her that if she can’t make it he really needs to know. She says she is coming. I bet she doesn’t. Her dad is telling her that she needs to have a plan. Find a man, Find a job, SOMETHING.
Casey and Chanel go for a walk. Casey asks how she is holding up with the wedding and Chanel loses it. Chanel feels judged for being single. Everyone thinks something is wrong with her. She is a horrible person. All of her friends except Casey are married and pregnant. I want to give her a hug.
Ew, time for Jeff. Amanda is getting made up for damn hanky party. I think Damn Hanky! (a play on damn yankee!) would be a much better name for this crappy business than drink hanky. But truthfully nothing will help it. Besides, she has alienated “those effected by 9/11″ with her disrespectful photo shoot, and I hate to be the one to tell her that is all of America, Canada and many people of other nationalities. Ooopsy. At the party Amanda’s gay photog friend hugs her and she says he smells amazing. Then gay photog hugs gay boyfriend and he agrees that he smells magnificent. GAYDAR AMANDA GET SOME!
Next, we play how many gays does it take to hang a step and repeat? The answer is two gays and one beard. Amanda actually says in her talking head, “How is it that out of me, my boyfriend and the photog and I am the most butch one here?” I think you need to take some time to contemplate that question deeply at some point, Amanda. She is selling the hankies rather than giving them away at the party. Um, what? Eventually all the princesses arrive and Jelly is not going to acknowledge Ashlee or Casey. I am shocked that Ashlee’s
fiancé father is not there. Jeff asks Rob about Erica and he says basically that her drinking is a problem. Erica says no relationship is ever going to be perfect and at her age it is time to shit of get off the pot, so she’s guesses she is going to shit. Who could ask for a sweeter sentiment than that?
Someone threw ice and a drink at Chanel at the party and there was a minor physical altercation. Ashlee starts bitching at Jelly for checking on Chanel like she is in charge of who can speak to her. The guy throwing the party comes in and screams for people not to start any drama. Chanel says she is not starting and drama and to get out of her face. It’s PANDAMONIUM! The salon dude hits the camera and says for everyone to get out of his salon. Ashlee marches outside to a table down the sidewalk with Chanel and the rest follow. Ashlee tells Chanel to ask Jelly to leave if she comes to the table. When Jelly comes over, Ashlee says everyone thinks Jelly is a bad person. Jelly asks Erica and Chanel if this is true. They both say no. Jelly tells Ashlee no one is on her side. Chanel appears to be trying to get the camera man find the bitch that threw the drink. Erica seem sober and reasonable!!! But she has not acknowledged her boyfriend at the party. Jeff on the other hand has spent time with him. Just saying. Then, all the sudden out of nowhere, Chanel jumps up and before the others can stop her she is going after the bitch that assaulted her and caused all the drama. Sweet Chanel is about to take out a year of simmering wedding trauma on a bitch! The bitch is MASSIVE. At least 6′ 250lbs. Chanel bitch slaps the girl. Ashlee and Chanel leave. The rest of the girls talk. Chanel says in her talking head that the behavior at her party does not represent the image of her company, but she hopes that the drink that the girl threw has a drink hanky on it.
And that leaves us with three more episodes to endure.