Couples Therapy Recap

coupleschingyOther than Big Brother (coming soon!) this may be the show I actually missed while off the grid. So let’s see what I missed. …

There is ALCOHOL at the therapy house? Since when? They have never allowed this before. It sure looks like they are drinking and FF is smoking a big fat…um, cigar? Kidding not. He also thinks people choose to be gay. Trust me if I could CHOOSE to change teams I’d be all Meredith Baxter Birney after some of the men I have dated.

The next morning they show people getting out of bed. Most ALL of them are wearing clothes. For example Joe slept in camo pants and a t-shirt. Tyler appears to have slept in clothes too. Very odd this episode so far. Time for group. The topic is ‘trust’. They have to write down how much they trust each other. Chingy says 85% his girlfriend says 50%. Joe F says 90% (the 10% he says is due to bulimia) his girlfriend, Abby says 99%. She is lying because she is afraid of him.  Liz says 75% she is lying too. FF doesn’t show his card, he just says he wrote the same number. Isn’t that amazing. I NEED TO SEE THE CARD!  Tyler says 65% Kaitlynn says 100%.

CouplesTherapy3FlavorFlavLiz seems to always be alone in her room. FF is always outside or out where the people are. Abby is apparently not allowed to leave outside of Joe’s reach. Kaitlynn clings to Tyler. And Chingy and his girl just don’t seem to gel. Chingy is pissed about the fact she only trusts him 50%. Chingy’s Dad was a player. Sounds like he is dead now but not specifically stated. The girlfriend’s Dad was abusive. Parents divorced over his abuse when she was five. The judge told her mom the kids could not leave the state of NC. She went to the west coast with them anyway. Dad flew out and stole them back while they were in school and he kept them for four years. They were physically abused (she and her sister) that whole time. She reported the abuse to her school counselor eventually and was removed from his home and the mom was given custody, but again they could not leave NC.  Her sister was murdered in 2002 by some woman at a party who got mad at her and stabbed her to death. DAYUM. This needs to be a Lifetime movie. She smiled the entire time she told these stories.

Time for compatibility testing! This should cause drama! OK Cupid guy is there to do a compatibility test. They have to answer the online survey. FF can’t do this without assistance. Chingy asks someone, “what contraception mean?” Joe is saying he already has pings of girls who want to meet him. Results time! Abby can’t do a simple math question. So stupid and ignorant go well together. 85% match 84% friend 13% enemy. Guess Abby won’t get a beating tonight. Next up Chingy and Temple…89% Match 76% Friend 32% enemy. Kaitlynn and Tyler…87% Match 77%Friend 18% Enemy…and now for FF and Liz… 91% Match 66% Friend 34% Enemy. Okay, this test is retarded and I feel stupid for even thinking it was going to show anything. But Liz is pissed with FF because he said his greatest….focus was wealth. Liz said love and she is pissed he said wealth. Joe says they got the lowest score because Abby sucks at math. Um EVERYONE’S SCORE was between 85% and 91% and they are all looking for issues. I spoke too soon. Abby is getting at least a verbal beat down tonight because they got the lowest of the oddly high scores.

It’s time to add the final couple, Dustin and Heather from The Real World Las Vegas! I remember Dustin but not Heather. I used to love The Real World more than any show ever on TV I have seen every episode since the first season except I had to stop watching the DC season. It was boring and political. Yet I can’t remember any of these people ten days after the show ends. Except Melissa from Real World. WHO ACTUALLY FOLLOWS ME ON TWITTER! and I think she is fabulous. Anyway, for those who don’t know Dustin did gay Internet porn before coming into the house and I assume that will be their “problem.” Heather knew/knows about it and still went after him so really how a big of an issue is this?

Joe is an asshole. He is calling Chingy “Ching Ching” and he wants to prank the new couple. Meanwhile, Dustin really hopes that the others will get to know him before his gay past is revealed. Too Late. Joe googles him and he and Chingy are laughing about it. Tyler is acting like he didn’t know. I can’t imagine Tyler and Kaitlynn not knowing since surely they watch The Real World. And Joe Francis is a PORN VENDOR, why is he so giggly about this? Dustin and Heather are still unpacking and Heather feels like the new kid in school. Joe is saying he is not anti gay while showing us he is a homophobic prick… Tyler leaves and feels bad. Joe tells Chingy to go get FF so he can show him. Oh Abby, you seem like such a sweet girl, why are you with this prick?

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7 Comments

Filed under Couples Therapy, VH1

7 responses to “Couples Therapy Recap

  1. Loved the Meredith reference! And your daily blogs!

  2. Tamara

    Haven’t been watching so I just read your recaps. However since you did mention real world I will say I don’t always follow every season but I do love the Challenges. I’ve even managed to get my husband to watch them with me. Glad to have you home :)

  3. vivaladiva831

    I may be alone here, but like Abby I am prepared to take a verbal beating. Ok here goes- Caitlyn and Tyler. I don’t think Tyler will ever leave her, even though he may want to sometimes. There is so much history there with them, and they have had to overcome so much in their home lives. I really see them together forever. Flav and Liz, I think he feels stuck with her. They seem total opposites. He is so outgoing an friendly, and she is not. However, I am also of the mind that he keeps her that way with no money access and probably mind fucks her. Joe and Abby (this is the one I am probably alone on) I like them. I think he gets away with talking to her like her does bc she is so young. I also think he keeps a tight leash bc he has seen what happens to these girls when they party and go wild, and he does not want one of those girls. Joe just seems like an overgrown high school kid. But I do think he really loves her. Someone you love having an eating disorder is not easy, I’m sure that goes without saying. But I think he really cares about her. Temple’s story was heartbreaking, and that she could talk about it with a smile shows you how conditioned to abuse you can become, to be so matter of fact with it. Her story was almost surreal.

  4. otherpeoplesproblems

    I thought this post would never come!

    I too think Joe Francis is a total asshole but he made lots of money on a stupidly simple concept. He’s not an idiot, but he is childish. I felt bad when he was giggling with Ching Ching about Dustin but I actually laughed a little when he was berating Abby about the OKC math question. I mean at least take a shot at it, Abby answered “don’t know/don’t care” which is not an answer I’d like from a potential mate either. I agree that she’s scared of him, she thinks she can’t do any better than him. She seems really shallow. She has a cardboard personality.

    Tyler and Catelynn’s “past” makes me laugh. Their past is when they were like 15! I agree with the other poster who said they outgrew each other but Tyler will probably never leave.

    Also agree with people’s thoughts about Temple. Her story made me sad.

    I don’t know if anyone else will agree on this, but I think Liz is on pills. She has the raspy droning voice of someone who takes pills. I can’t do a very good job of explaining it, unless you’ve taken pills or known someone who has. It sounds like your own voice, but a little lower and hoarser, like you just woke up. That’s what Liz sounds like most of the time. There is more to their story. And it’s probably Liz’s pill addiction.

    As for Dustin and Heather, Heather didn’t know about his gay porn until someone in her family found out and told her. I don’t know if that was something set up by production but that’s gotta be pretty embarrassing… Hearing from your MOM that your boyfriend has been in gay porn. But she stayed with him after finding out, so yeah I guess I don’t know what the issue is. On their season, Dustin was a hot head drunk and in one episode they went go karting and one of the roommates won and Dustin threw a tantrum.

    RW has had this trend of people coupling up the past few years, I guess they realized that they had played out the fuck buddies situation to its limit. But the relationships seem weirder to me, I mean you meet this person and there’s no dating period. You suddenly live together. For the first 3 months, and then go your separate ways. It’s strange to me, and I guess I’m saying I’m surprised Dustin and Heather even realized they had anything in common after the show.

  5. SB

    I watched Dustin’s season of real world…and I just don’t know how you can be gay for pay but claim to be totally straight. Maybe I don’t understand but I do know that an erection is needed and must be maintained…so he must like it a little!
    I am still on the fence with Joe and Abby, he is a total dick and she is annoying, but somehow they seem the most normal to me.
    I think Liz is medicated but wouldn’t you be too if you had to look at Flava Flav all day?

    • ViVaLaDiVa

      I think Liz is medicated but wouldn’t you be too if you had to look at Flava Flav all day?

      lmao!!!!! not only look at him, but do…things…with him. eesh!!

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