I keep forgetting to check the ratings for Newlyweds: The first year to see if it looks like it will continue. After just 8 episodes, this season ends with each of the couples ending their first year.
Jeff and Blair meet with a sex therapist. She says that Blair seems to be wanting the sex to be his way all the time when he wants it (true) and that Jeff essentially feels obligated. Plus the usual therapy stuff about Jeff’s parents being very controlling. She takes them into a bedroom and has them role play. You know the old pretend you are the other person routine. Because nothing can go wrong with that. They both pretend to understand each others feelings and the therapist suggests that Blair give Jeff the space he asks for when he asks for it without the drama. Blair gets very dramatic and says, “Why do I have to make all the changes? Why doesn’t he just blow me when I want him to?” Oh Blair. You sound like Jan Brady.
They role play again to show how they wish their partner would act. Blair cries. Blair says he feels like he trying to make up the years of lost love. Apparently, they had a break through. Blair learned he was needy. Jeff learned to relax. There will be much sex to be had.
Tina and Tarz. Last week we had that horrible display by Tina’s father with some white woman. I didn’t buy it. I can’t see him being with a white woman after all the crap he gave Tina, plus it was too over the top to be real. Now Tina is meeting with her father so he can tell her something important. Like, I dunno, “April Fools!” She drank before meeting him in the middle of the day because she is so angry with him. He tells her he is getting married. Okay, enough with this dude. Come clean. He says he is not marrying Heather he is marrying Sima. Sima is Tina’s sister’s name. Tina is having a VERY loud and disruptive meltdown. I still expect him to say he was just letting her know what it felt like when she got married. He says she will be her new mother. It seems he is purposefully driving her around the bend. She throws a water glass on the floor. Everyone is staring.
Tina and Tarz are going to get a transvaginal ultrasound. She has already lost one pregnancy. She finds out that she has a mass in her uterus. She has two fibroid tumors in her uterus that should not affect her ability to have a baby.
I can’t believe that there really is a wedding. Tina actually likes the new bride. My DVR cut off right when the wedding began. If there were any text updates at the end I missed them!
Kathryn and John are at the hospital having a baby. Sounds like they messed up the epidural and it had to come out. These are not words you want to hear in the delivery room, but Kathryn has a good attitude. For John, this whole experience is about him. Kathyrn ended up having a last minute C-Section. Baby Dean is adorable. John is overwhelmed at being a father. Later, John explains to Kathy that she didn’t go through any pain and that it was much harder on him. She is bottle feeding the baby or I think she might have punched him in his stupid fat face. John continues that it is all about her all the time, “Can I have a moment?” Okay Kathy put the baby down and beat his ass for all the women in the world. When you finish you can say, “There, that was all about you. The baby and I are going home with my mother you asshole. Take all the moments you’d like. Kathy is so happy, she just smiles and nods. Clearly she is well medicated.
The baby is 8 weeks. John has only been alone with the baby three times. He is afraid to be with the baby. Kathy has to beg for an hour to go to the grocery store. John feels neglected. But at least he doesn’t have to do anything. He doesn’t change diapers if he can avoid it. The pool table was moved to the basement. Both feel like they won the pool table war. Everyone is happy.
Alaska and Kim are on their honeymoon in Mexico. Kim is excited to go on an adventure. They are going to swim with dolphins. Everything is fine, right up until she sees the actual dolphins. She’s afraid she might get a cranky dolphin. She is scared to death and hyperventilating.
The are on the HONEYMOON at a beautiful resort with awesome outdoor showers. So we know where this is going. Kim wants to shower with Alaska. Here we go again. What excuse will Alaska have now? There is no hot water. So fully clothed they barely dip under the water. It was not a shower it was more like a water fight. It lasted all of four seconds. Alaska was wearing a Lycra top. It was not even close to the sexy shower Kim wanted. Poor girl. Later after a couples massage/scrub the ladies send them into the shower together and Kim gets her shower moment. Alaska was literally cornered. Alaska says in a talking head he should have been showering with her the whole time. I don’t believe him. The honeymoon has brought them closer. Until it is time to leave. To their separate lives in separate cities.
IF YOU HAVE COMMENTS ON THE WWHL REUNION, DON’T POST THEM HERE. I AM ABOUT TO WATCH AND DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED! 🙂 New post soon!