The Haves and Have Nots Review of Episodes 1 and 2 (Spoilers)

havehavenotsI am not a Tyler Perry fan. I will just leave it at that. However, I do loves me some Oprah and I want to support OWN.  So I am going to watch the new series The Haves and The Have Nots. I shall be live blogging as of now. Well, I am alive and it is on my blog but I will be watching on DVR. Whatevs.

Apparently my invite to the preview party at Bar One got lost in the mail. On Tuesday Bar One hosted a preview party for The Haves and Have Nots.  It appears that cast members  Tika Sumpter , John Schneider, Crystal Fox and Renee Lawless may have attended. Really? I find this odd. (Goes to @atlien’s  timeline on twitter Update no word back from the Atlien so until such occurs I will not believe it happened).

As soon as the first scene opens, and it is set in Savannah, I am hooked. Apparently Jim Cryer is a rich Savannah dude with both a wife and a mistress. So far, so good. Jim is a 50-year-old white guy who is a judge. It’s his 50th birthday and he is spending it with a black call girl. It’s starting off sort of “Scandalish” I guess I am just saying that because of the interracial sex with a politician aspect. The acting is bad. This is all before the title sequence begins. Not surprisingly, the commercials for other OWN shows are many plus Oprah and Tyler apparently live tweeted during the show. The wife’s acting is medocre but so far NO ONE has a southern accent. Including, the Cryers. the mistress, or the woman seeking to work for them, although the maid’s accent comes out later in her personal scenes. And really Tyler, Cryer? It’s not just that the acting is bad. It’s that …it has this weird spoofy feel. I may not make it to episode 2. The prostitute gives Jim her personal phone number on a notepad by the bed. What would more likely be on the bed stand in a hotel? A pencil and notepad or oh I dunno, their cellphones? I am becoming increasingly disenchanted.

havehavenots2A new character appears. A wealthy black woman with a poor sense of style, Veronica? The only good actress in this show is the newly hired black maid.  She calls Veronica (, “The Black Betty Ford.” Look, I am not a reviewer, I just play one on the Internet, but there is something off about this series. It’s more than stilted acting, it feels like I am watching a bootleg copy of an off-Broadway play that someone taped covertly from the front row. It’s just… odd. I can’t stand the lack of southern accents. WHY???? Wyatt is the Cryer’s son. At least he is hot and nekkid. He is fresh out of rehab and the black Betty Ford’s son, Jeffrey must spend every moment with him, including bathroom breaks as he transitions back to the real world.  They also have a daughter, who is friends with Candace, who happens to be the prostitute, soon to be mistress of Jim.  Who holds up three dress one on top of the other to ask their friend which is prettiest? The hooker/mistress’s mother is the new maid.  I just tried to find the name of the woman playing the maid. I am sure she must be famous. But I’m having trouble. I imagine I will be embarrassed when y’all tell me who she is. She’s the kernel of corn in this pile of dung. At least for now. Ah… her name is Crystal R. Fox. I hope someone sees her on this show and makes her a star.

One of the only believable moments is Veronica asking about Candace’s parentage. This is a southern thing. According to this commercial, the show moves to Tuesdays at 9. This gives them a much better shot than the already over crowded Sunday nights.

Crystal R. Fox, The One Redeeming Factor of This Show

Crystal R. Fox, The One Redeeming Factor of This Show

Episode 2, the “Savannah Estate” is a McMansion in Dunwoody by my best guess. And all rich people have a cutesy sign in their laundry room that says “laundry.” I promise, I really wanted to like this show. I’m ever so disappointed. DID I MENTION THE ACTING? Ah… The first racist comment.  The writing is AWFUL too.  Also, you know how on Scandal, they talk so fast that it is hard to keep up? This is the opposite. It’s like everyone is stoned.

It’s too hysterical to me that Perry wants to make one of the three black male actors gay on the down low. Just saying. Hysterical but not surprising. Perry makes his millions off black audiences who don’t seem to get he is using coonery and buffoonery to mock them. I almost never agree with Spike Lee. But even a broke clock is right twice a day.

Look, I told y’all up front, I’m not Tyler Perry fan. I didn’t so much go into why. But as you saw, the further in to this I got, the more my distaste for him bubbled to the top and seeped into my review. Episode 2 ends with the hooker sexually overtaking the wealthy white judge against his will. These sorts of delusions exist only inside the head of Tyler Perry. His portrayal of black women is convoluted and …dare I say racist on a site where commenters cannot?

Recently, on some post about some non-important show I said something like all gays are wonderful except the ones who aren’t.  I didn’t go into detail but what I meant was the misogynistic gays. The ones who can’t go four sentences without making appallingly offense comments about vaginas. Tyler Perry is in my opinion, that kind of gay. I also find him to be racist against his own race. And homophobic, while seemingly in the closet. I will give him this though. He’s made a gajillion dollars attacking who he really is. He’s  managed to hoodwink OPRAH FUCKING WINFREY, another not so small feat. I’m concerned for OWN. I want OWN to succeed. But all during the two shows, there was a count down until today’s Tyler Perry show. I fear she has way too many of her eggs in Tyler Perry’s frilly pink Easter basket.

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77 Comments

Filed under Oprah, Oprah Winfrey, OWN, Tyler Perry

77 responses to “The Haves and Have Nots Review of Episodes 1 and 2 (Spoilers)

  1. Joan

    I’m not a Tyler fan as well. I think for the same reasons. At any rate, I thought about watching this. Yet I just can’t get past the title and bad writing – and why do we even want to go ‘there’ . I can’t put my finger on when Tyler’s projects went south (uh, even further south than ATL?) but it was sometime after the 2nd “Married” movies. I’ll be lurking in here every once in a while to see what you wind up commenting. I’ll put my time into something more important like, um…uh, pedicures?

  2. I have only seen the television ads for this show, and I cringe every single time I see them. What is Oprah’s fascination with Tyler Perry?? Is he Steadman’s boyfriend? I love me some Oprah too, but honestly, everything she’s done since her final show (which wasn’t great either, but that’s another post) has SUCKED.
    By the way-coonery and buffoonery..? BRILLIANT!

    • Sadly, I stole coonery and buffoonery in describing Tyler Perry from Spike Lee, who I may hate even more. :)

      I will only watch further if this post gets lots of comments. #TTRatings lol.

      • I don’t like Spike Lee either, but I can never put into words why-so I’d love to hear why you do too! Maybe I’ll start watching the show just to read your posts about it…I’m off any and everything on Bravo, so I was dreading the fact that pretty soon there will be no show that I am watching with my blog buddies. This might be just the ticket. Two good reasons right there for me to watch lol.
        My one reservation to encouraging you to watch is because I think it could bring the same kind of discussion here that the Trayvon Martin case might, and I think you wanted to avoid that.

      • Im coming up with an option for my trial buddies. Stay tuned. :)

      • Im not much of a Spike Lee fan myself, he always seems so angry and militant to me, some consider him to be a brilliant storyteller, but try as I may…I just can’t bring myself to warm up to him, meh.
        TT, thanks for giving me the heads up to steer clear of this clunker, I had hopes for it being in the same vein as Upstairs/Downstairs but set in a more updated era. Oh well, I’ll just have to keep looking.

        Oh..and I hate Tyler Perry too, I find myself wanting to scream, “for the love of god, come out of the fking closet already…you aren’t fooling no one but yourself, dam it”

      • Spike Lee has talent. A misogynist? Well, maybe. That movie where Denzel Washington plays the d*ck-head horn player who needs his wife to save him? I still want to throw a brick in the TV when that comes on. Having said that, Perry is a hack; Lee is an artist.

      • beejcee

        Mo Better Blues. My son’s name is Miles.

      • chassieD

        NORMAN-i like Spike, but what he needs to do is to pull out another blockbuster bio flick. i’m still waiting on a movie about Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke. any one of those legends would be awsome on screen

      • sasha

        I can’t get with the coonery description. Umm, it falls into the N-work category. That’s kind of a sore spot for me. Buffoonery, definitely. Tyler can has has done better. Big build up, humongous let down.

  3. Ms Urethra Franklin

    Visually the show is very unsettling. The lighting is terrible. Everything seems so dark in the background. Oprah used to say on her talk show that she had to have special “black people lighting” to make her look so good on tv. I wonder why the same consideration wasn’t made for this show. I’m on the fence about this. I will watch a couple of more episodes.

    • GOOD POINT about Oprah’s lighting! I remember her saying it all the time…hmmm, Ms Urethra you’re not going to shake my faith in Oprah…are you??

    • chassieD

      MsUretha-you know, i noticed the same thing when i saw it. but what really tripped me out was when the wife told the Judge he could not sleep in her bed and told him to go sleep on the sofa, (the very small loveseat) it came to me, “waitaminute…i thought this was a large mansion in savannah….what about the guest rooms? uh, as big as that place was i know they had to have guest rooms. bad writing, TP bad writing!

      • Neutral

        I am on the fence on the show too. But, she asked him to sleep on the sofa because they are putting up a front for everyone including their kids, who happened to be home that night.

  4. karen

    I am a Tyler Perry fan and an Oprah fan and I will be watching to support both of them. If anyone can watch that trash that Bravo puts out – and I am one of those women – i do not see the problem with Tyler Perry. As far as spike lee I can’t stand him he is one jealous,hateful little man.

  5. LM

    Crystal Fox played an officer on the In the Heat of the Night series. I didn’t recognize the name but I watch enough reruns to recognize the face.

  6. sandy

    I missed it. Since we usually have similar points of view, I will probably miss it altogether. Bummer. I loved reading you write about it though and laughed my ass off!! So please. You go ahead and watch and I will just come and read your review of the show afterwards! Sounds like it is a hell of a lot more entertaining. It is too bad. I love shows with great strong black women who in the end prevail. OPRAH loves Perry blindly. If I say why I will end up sounding racist so I will just shut up and let you say it. Thank you for the warning on this new show. I will be giving it a wide berth.

  7. Cami

    When it comes to this show I feel like the mother who has high hopes for her child but deep down she knows better. I felt that the show would be ok coming from Mother O’s network but its not. I really would like to know what where the ratings.

  8. Not a fan of Tyler Perry at all. He is a misogynist. His moralistic, poorly written, tales tend to punish “bad” women. I admire Oprah to no end, but she is choosing dollars over quality with her association with this man.

  9. KAM

    Thank you for confirming my suspicions on this one. I don’t need to watch.

  10. eg

    I like Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey. I did watch the the 2 episodes of this first show, and found it interesting even if it did come off as a little “soap opera-ish”. I like Crystal Fox as an actress especially in “The Old Settler” (PBS) Not familiar with the young lady who plays the escort/evil daughter. I’m ok with most of the stuff Tyler comes out with, don’t know about his personal life. I also like Spike Lees’ works (most not all) but don’t agree with some of his views. I will continue watching these shows to see how things go.

    • Shond

      That’s Tika Sumpter, who was in One Life To Live.

    • chassieD

      to be honest, what this show really needs is more “meat” to the plot. the judge can hire a hitman for the chick, give the black maid a nice love interest at church, the white machriarch can have a lesbian affair with the mother of the guy who is helping her son with this addiction. the judge’s daughter can get some backbone and decides to handle her life and move to NYC and persue her career in fashion design……just some ideas to throw out there.

  11. Daphne

    Glad you gave us the heads up, T. I was aboard the Madea train for a while, and LOVED Mr. Brown …. but, then it just got old and tired. I watched a couple of his tv episodes and it was too silly for my taste. So, when I saw the ads for this soap opera and his other upcoming program on Oprah, I knew I was steering clear of it. You confirmed that I made the right decision. Is Oprah trying to give him a break, or representing a community, or trying to save her network?

  12. sasha

    Though I value your opinions I’ll give Tyler a chance. He’s giving a lot of people a chance who otherwise wouldn’t have work. Hopefully, the show isn’t won’t be too degrading.

    • Joan

      Sorry Sasha – you don’t reward poor work. The production was cheap, acting bad and an all around mess. Why do they get to continue to get ‘a paycheck’ when they’re not doing a good job? Just saying…..no disrespect intended.

      • sasha

        After watching the show, I have to agree with you. The acting was so poor, putting this show on a resume would most likely harm the actors rather than help. They may get additional roles but I’m sure they’ll be typecast ed as “G” list actors.

  13. I burst out laughing when I saw this post! LOL! You really watched it?! It looked like a low budget telenovela when I saw the commercials promoting it.

    • well fuck.

      That is exactly what I was trying to say and did so in a gallion words.

      It’s a low budget telenova only it was on an OPRAH budget. How is this possible?

      • Damn if I know, lol! I noticed that she didn’t tweet through it like she does when other shows are airing. She did thank people for watching. I guess she felt like she owed them.

      • Sharnee

        What Tyler need to do is stop recycling his scripts thats why it seems like ur seeing the same acts over and over again if he can’t muster up an idea in that one track mind of women being so trashy and needy then hire some writers u can afford it because i’m sick of seeing his woman characters suffer in some kind of way we try to support u hoping it will get better as time goes on but do u have ANY! fresh ideas we would love to see them and stop adding laugh tracks to ur shows the shit is not funny u keep passing the same jokes that we have already heard hire a writing team

  14. Heather

    I watched this and really wanted to like it too. I was shocked at how cheap the setting seemed and the plot was so slow & dull. Also, My husband walked in during the first show and watched for about 10 minutes and said “oh, we saw this movie”. I said this is a TV show and he reminded me of Tyler Perry’s movie “The Family that Preys”. VERY similar!

  15. victori0us

    Tyler Perry…I’m just not into that recloseted gay man. I like my gays out and proud. His characters have no depth and most are just over the top. He plays on stereotypes and u can tell he hates everything about himself. Oprah messed up giving him free reign over the shows. She just wrote him a blank check and said do what you want. This crap is poorly written and thrown together. I’ll pass.

  16. We watch Andy and his Bravo mess, and put down Tyler…..give me a break. My people can’t do anything, without someone putting them down. Tyler is giving out pay checks. By the way, I’ve enjoyed the program. Lets all walk in other shoes, before we judge.

  17. eg

    Dvr’d Love Thy Neighbor…….wont be able to get thru this one. NOT funny at all. The Mama Hattie character is too over the top (as in not funny) Now this one is Really bad acting. A lot of his plays were better than this and so was The House of Payne. I agree that he (Tyler) is providing employment for a lot of folks, but this one I don’t think will be a hit. I like the the other one though.

    • sasha

      It turned my stomach. The mama’s voice turned me off to the entire show. I just couldn’t get pass her. I wanted to give Tyler a chance on this one …but all paychecks are not good paychecks.

      Thumbs down!

    • chassieD

      eg-i think TP thinks he can throw anything together and show it to his black fanbase because they supported him through the years with the Madea plays, but he has to realize that black people like to see good performances and produtions that are well made and written. if it’s crap, it’s crap! and black folks arn’t going to pay their hard earned money to look at it.

  18. I watched.. it was OK. Gonna give it another week or two. Seriously though, love Miss Hattie. Wonderful in the plays.

    HOWEVZ…. the only show I TRULY LOVE on OWN is that fabulous woman who owns that St. Louis southern food 2 restaurant chain with the new one that has the banquet hall (totally brain farting here…) and her son with the baby mama he’ll never marry (btdubz… that kid of theirs is soooo gorgeous!)… I love that reality show. Love her. Wish she were my mama!

    Can I please have some Chicken, macaroni and some greens delivered to Campo, CA?

    • Ms Urethra Franklin

      Sweetie Pies owned by Ms. Robbie who was a back up singer for Ike & Tina Turner. I love her too….

    • Joan

      LOVE Sweetie Pies as well. I love Ms. Robbie – she reminds me of my Aunts when I was a child – loved you, tried to help you – but if you didn’t help yourself, she threw in the towel. I hope she has a very long life – and that her show thrives. I also love her boldness in declaring her faith and praying with her staff. You certainly don’t see that on network TV.

  19. Jarenov

    I watched the first 30 minutes of this before turning off the TV. Overall it was a bad, low budget production with horrible acting. I can’t believe this is actually being aired!

  20. Because it’s a TP (sorry couldn’t refuse :D) production, I didn’t watch. I too want OWN to succeed but can’t stand Tyler Perry. He just rubs me the wrong way.

  21. Anastasia Beaverhausen

    I am in the minority here, but I’m actually not an Oprah fan at all an don’t watch anything on her network. I’ve never seen anything by Tyler Perry, so cannot comment. I actually like Spike Lee’s movies.

    • sasha

      The jury is still out on the H&HN show. It does seem a bit low-budget, repetitive and and dry. I’ve only seen one episode. Maybe the second one will be better.

    • kym

      I watched and like the program so far, but they seem to be “acting” and waiting for something. They need to speak faster, it almost seems they are waiting for the audience or something. I will give it a chance. I don’t like TP comedies much so I didn’t watch that. However, there is an audience for it.

  22. RealityTVJunkie

    TT
    I Totally agree with your post. The show was lacking good acting and TRUE old southern Savannahian ways. I myself used to live in Savannah and the upper society is so different from what he is portraying. Its kind of a “Mystic World” in Savannah. I think the best example came from the book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. He didn’t (or hasn’t) captured that yet. But I digress, this is just another show that is a bad knock off of his plays. Which by the way are getting to be more repetitive and thrown together. Its like Tyler Perry is getting tired of making plays so he just throws something out there to keep his fan base happy. Like you, I hate that Oprah got caught up in this.

  23. Eboni Ellis

    @Tamara Tattles Crystal R. Fox starred as the tough black police woman in the sitcom “In The Heat of the Night.” As I was watching her, I noticed familiarility and recognition clicked in towards the end of the first episode.In The Heat of the Night is one of mhy fav shows and she my fav actress. I must say, she was the reason why I continued to watch in boredom.

  24. Lodak

    I was entertained by this show. A few things.

    Regarding this ludicrous assumption that “southerners must have strong southern accents,” that’s just false. Walk in BofA, SunTrust, Georgia Pacific, or any other major company in large Southern cities, and I’d challenge you to find one. This holds true for Savannah. Outside of old folks and around Bay Street I never hear one–and I don’t have one.

    Regarding the “hoodwinking of Oprah,” um, wasn’t TBS/Movies/Live Theater first? Is that not relevant? This man’s work is wildly successful, so why wouldn’t Oprah get in on the action? It’s not for you, we get it.

    Regarding your disdain for Tyler Perry, well, that ship has sailed. It’s not for you, we get it. Don’t watch.

    Sure, the show has issues, but I accepted that before I set my DVR. Complaining about it after the fact would be like buying a Kia and complaining about the crappy ride–every day!

    Use your platform to criticize constructively. Otherwise, hate-watching TV shows [and then blogging about it] just seems like an awful waste of time.

  25. InterestingBeauty

    It’s basically a new “soap opera” for the masses.

  26. Valley Girl

    While I admire Oprah’s accomplishments and philathropic effortsI am not a fan of hers AT ALL.

    I admire Tyler Perry’s success and the fact that he keeps people employed, but he has slowly but surely lost me over the years. I was with him for awhile, but I became weary when I saw the preview of Meet the Browns – when I wasted my money on Why Did I Get Married Too I was completely done with him. His characters are not complex IMO – nobody’s all good and nobody is all bad, yet the majority of his characters fit that mold.

    Aaron MaGruder did a Boondocks episode on Tyler Perry that was brilliant. Check it out if you’ve never seen it.

    I said all of that to say I saw the previews, wasn’t impressed, didn’t plan to watch, and based on what I’ve heard here and from other people my decision was wise.

  27. Really!!!

    “It’s starting off sort of “Scandalish” I guess I am just saying that because of the interracial sex with a politician aspect”……..that’s the exact same thing I thought when I watched this scene. NO ONE can top Kerry and Fitz when it comes to swirl passion on TV.. I have to turn the fan on after watching them. Anyway, back to this.

    For some reason this show has more of a “play” feel than a sitcom.

    I kept looking at the maid and thinking “where do I know her from”. I could not remember but thought she was a good actress. As I’m commenting it hits me……she was the black cop on “In The Heat Of The Night”. That’s where I know her from.

    I thought the prostitute has a lot of power over the judge seeing as though they only met. “You gonna leave my house”…..”I’m not going anywhere”……later on they’re screwing in his office where anyone can walk in. LOL.

    I’m going to give this show a few more tries mainly because I like this type of crap but they need to tighten it up a lot.

    .

    • Really!!!

      I forgot to add this to my prior comment.

      The scene were Hannah(Crystal Fox) was off duty and at home lying on the couch talking to her son with her wig off. I saw nothing wrong with that but how they portrayed the condition of her natural hair was terrible.

      It was not combed and was sticking up all over her head like Buckwheat.. Why would Tyler Perry allow this character to look like this.. On the show she portrays a strong woman with pride who cares which is why I cannot see her character’s natural hair looking that bad.

  28. KB

    I agree with the person who said they couldn’t get past the title so I never watched. Here is a list of shows with a black cast That were successful while not focusing COMPLETELY on so-called “black life”: Girlfriends; Fresh Prince…; Sister Sister; the Parker’s; there are many more. These shows accomplished what they set out to do and that was to entertain all people without leaving a bad taste in people’s mouths. I think that is where T Perry falls short. He has got to go back to the drawing board and come up with shows that are entertaining and that all people can relate to and stay away from shows that come across like plays. It is too low budget.

  29. I am starting to rethink my bad acting blanket statements. It could just be the god awful playlike directing that is the problem. Its hard to believe that none of those people can act. It’s just very, very playlike and weird.

    • Yes yes yes- it is like a TV play- bad scenes with a whole whole lotta background music. The actors should be able to carry the scenes without music to cue audience emotion- smh

  30. I am not a fan of Oprah at all. I’m an occasionally fan of TP, but he’s really starting to try my nerves. I honestly checked out the show because of its potential. Its potential to be a telenovella. That’s the look and feel to me: campy, bad acting, stupid dialogue, plots you can see from a mile away. And because I knew that going in, I rather enjoyed it. Don’t you guys remember the CW tried it with two shows a few years back? Loved me some Fashion House :)
    However I will admit the fact Oprah’s too cheap to broadcast in HD is one reason it “looks” funny to me and a lot of folks.

  31. Oh my goodness is this the worst show ever put on tv or WHAT??????
    NOTHING WORKS!! The acting, the sets, the writing, the dialogue. Holy cow I’m beyond astounded!!!

  32. Rhizo

    The show has great potential, but the set & lighting is horrible. The lighting is dull. dark & depressing. It looks like a soap opera set from from 1990. No matter what scene their doing.
    Every scene looks like it’s midnight.

    This is so annoying & could b a deal breaker because it takes so much aura from the story line.

  33. Nikki

    I love this show. When I first saw previews I only saw the ones for the comedy TP is doing and it didn’t look funny. When I saw these previews it sparked my interest so I thought why not watch one episode.

    Well now I am hooked. I love soap operas and although I am 29 I have been watching them for 20 years with my grandma then on my own. This is just like a soap opera only once a week.

    I love all the characters and how they all have their secrets.

  34. Liz

    I have been watching this show since the beginning and we are now in August. It is awful…but I just can not stop watching because I just can not believe how bad it is. During the commercials by friends and I call each other to talk about the poor acting, poor lighting and poor everything. The only person who can really act is Hannah (the maid). So sad……

    • Fine. I confess. I too have watched every episode…

      • Liz

        It is my guilty pleasure…almost like love and hip hop in atlanta!!! We know it is a mess…butwe watch anyway. I am in the process of putting together a list of inconsistencies and “what???!!” moments of The Haves and Have Nots. Let me give you an example….in one of the most recent episodes the hispanic maid…I don’t know her name…is wearing HEELS! What maid wears heels to work???!!!

  35. When do the new episodes start

  36. Tammy H

    The very first show was a weak, but has improved. Now I love the show, sometimes I can wait until the next show comes on. Way to go Tyler!!!
    If you don’t like the show then don’t watch. He has a lot of viewers that love the show.

  37. Tammy H

    The very first show was a little weak, but has improved since. Now I love the show and sometimes I can’t wait until the next show comes on. Way to go Tyler!!!

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