I am not a Tyler Perry fan. I will just leave it at that. However, I do loves me some Oprah and I want to support OWN. So I am going to watch the new series The Haves and The Have Nots. I shall be live blogging as of now. Well, I am alive and it is on my blog but I will be watching on DVR. Whatevs.
Apparently my invite to the preview party at Bar One got lost in the mail. On Tuesday Bar One hosted a preview party for The Haves and Have Nots. It appears that cast members Tika Sumpter , John Schneider, Crystal Fox and Renee Lawless may have attended. Really? I find this odd. (Goes to @atlien’s timeline on twitter Update no word back from the Atlien so until such occurs I will not believe it happened).
As soon as the first scene opens, and it is set in Savannah, I am hooked. Apparently Jim Cryer is a rich Savannah dude with both a wife and a mistress. So far, so good. Jim is a 50-year-old white guy who is a judge. It’s his 50th birthday and he is spending it with a black call girl. It’s starting off sort of “Scandalish” I guess I am just saying that because of the interracial sex with a politician aspect. The acting is bad. This is all before the title sequence begins. Not surprisingly, the commercials for other OWN shows are many plus Oprah and Tyler apparently live tweeted during the show. The wife’s acting is medocre but so far NO ONE has a southern accent. Including, the Cryers. the mistress, or the woman seeking to work for them, although the maid’s accent comes out later in her personal scenes. And really Tyler, Cryer? It’s not just that the acting is bad. It’s that …it has this weird spoofy feel. I may not make it to episode 2. The prostitute gives Jim her personal phone number on a notepad by the bed. What would more likely be on the bed stand in a hotel? A pencil and notepad or oh I dunno, their cellphones? I am becoming increasingly disenchanted.
A new character appears. A wealthy black woman with a poor sense of style, Veronica? The only good actress in this show is the newly hired black maid. She calls Veronica (, “The Black Betty Ford.” Look, I am not a reviewer, I just play one on the Internet, but there is something off about this series. It’s more than stilted acting, it feels like I am watching a bootleg copy of an off-Broadway play that someone taped covertly from the front row. It’s just… odd. I can’t stand the lack of southern accents. WHY???? Wyatt is the Cryer’s son. At least he is hot and nekkid. He is fresh out of rehab and the black Betty Ford’s son, Jeffrey must spend every moment with him, including bathroom breaks as he transitions back to the real world. They also have a daughter, who is friends with Candace, who happens to be the prostitute, soon to be mistress of Jim. Who holds up three dress one on top of the other to ask their friend which is prettiest? The hooker/mistress’s mother is the new maid. I just tried to find the name of the woman playing the maid. I am sure she must be famous. But I’m having trouble. I imagine I will be embarrassed when y’all tell me who she is. She’s the kernel of corn in this pile of dung. At least for now. Ah… her name is Crystal R. Fox. I hope someone sees her on this show and makes her a star.
One of the only believable moments is Veronica asking about Candace’s parentage. This is a southern thing. According to this commercial, the show moves to Tuesdays at 9. This gives them a much better shot than the already over crowded Sunday nights.
Episode 2, the “Savannah Estate” is a McMansion in Dunwoody by my best guess. And all rich people have a cutesy sign in their laundry room that says “laundry.” I promise, I really wanted to like this show. I’m ever so disappointed. DID I MENTION THE ACTING? Ah… The first racist comment. The writing is AWFUL too. Also, you know how on Scandal, they talk so fast that it is hard to keep up? This is the opposite. It’s like everyone is stoned.
It’s too hysterical to me that Perry wants to make one of the three black male actors gay on the down low. Just saying. Hysterical but not surprising. Perry makes his millions off black audiences who don’t seem to get he is using coonery and buffoonery to mock them. I almost never agree with Spike Lee. But even a broke clock is right twice a day.
Look, I told y’all up front, I’m not Tyler Perry fan. I didn’t so much go into why. But as you saw, the further in to this I got, the more my distaste for him bubbled to the top and seeped into my review. Episode 2 ends with the hooker sexually overtaking the wealthy white judge against his will. These sorts of delusions exist only inside the head of Tyler Perry. His portrayal of black women is convoluted and …dare I say racist on a site where commenters cannot?
Recently, on some post about some non-important show I said something like all gays are wonderful except the ones who aren’t. I didn’t go into detail but what I meant was the misogynistic gays. The ones who can’t go four sentences without making appallingly offense comments about vaginas. Tyler Perry is in my opinion, that kind of gay. I also find him to be racist against his own race. And homophobic, while seemingly in the closet. I will give him this though. He’s made a gajillion dollars attacking who he really is. He’s managed to hoodwink OPRAH FUCKING WINFREY, another not so small feat. I’m concerned for OWN. I want OWN to succeed. But all during the two shows, there was a count down until today’s Tyler Perry show. I fear she has way too many of her eggs in Tyler Perry’s frilly pink Easter basket.