Sorry I AM SO FAR BEHIND I AM NOT EDITING. I am about to watch this over and over.
Shit. Somehow I missed the first few seconds of WWHL because I was behind on Survivor. Don’t you hate when you don’t realize you backed up on a show and then you are tardy for the party, um…so to speak. I already notice Sheree is sitting funny. She is tryna hide her payless shoes now that Bravo doesn’t provide them anymore. Andy and Sheree are both drunk so this is going to be good.
Andy starts by saying that someone from Married to Medicine stopped by Chateau Sheree and she wants to buy it from her. Sheree is all “Oh she did! She just popped up like everybody else! (Did you file for a restraining order on her too? I love that Andy is going right after Chateau Sheree…lol). Apparently TOYA is her stalker! She just said Toya has been driving back and forth watching the construction! Oh Toya, honey I don’t know who you are, but you better be careful. She said she was interested in buying it. Andy asks her if she would be interested in selling it to her. Sheree says not right now. (Because she has an IRS LIEN and those lawyers that want another 6 figures from her and so SHE DOESN’T OWN IT!) She wants to see it from start to finish. OMG. This is just like when she is in court. And says okay we have more about Chateau Sheree in a minute. Oh please mention me!
OMG. ANDY IS GOING IN FOR THE KILL RIGHT AWAY. He is going to play something from Iyanla Fix My Life. This bitch is going to run away crying before the show ends! So it’s one of the three things Andy is obsessed with tonight. MY GOD I MAY DIE LAUGHING BEFORE I CAN FINISH THIS BLOG. Sheree is already deer in headlights. Sheree says, “You know what? I thought it was different that she would actually…stutter stutter stutter… To me, if she is really there to help, then that is not helping by coming on your show and kind of ridiculing or making a mockery of, you know, what happened during her show. I really didn’t learn anything from Iyanla ’cause (stutter stutter) it actually went in a whole different direction than what I was told. So I was really mislead. But what I did take out of it, just me growing… Is that I can’t control other peoples actions. ( UM HI! I DON’T THINK SHE LEARNED THAT) I can only react…and I choose to be happy! And you know, do what I can to be the best mom for my kids ” by spending all the days of my life dragging my divorce through to the freaking SUPREME COURT and dragging anyone else I don’t agree with into the court system while at the same time being sued by the attorneys I never paid and happily not paying the IRS…and putting everything that could be considered an assest into my kids name. Sheree is HAPPY GODDAMNIT! AND A GREAT MOTHER! Just aske her family friend, um, eldest daughter who she keeps forcing into court! She is not a bitter angry bitch up in the courthouse every day trying to get people to stop talking about what a miserable shrew she is! She is what happy people look like. She has a Porshe and a Chateau! Fuck all y’all haters. You just jealous.
Andy clearly hates her and is turning the knife. Apparently this is a ploy for him to try to get back together with me. And it is working.
OMG the third thing he likes (The middle one was for Matt Morrison who clearly was the only one who did not see this hachet job coming and agreed to be on with Sheree..). The THIRD THING HE LIKES is Nene calling Sheree an evil bitch. Sheree of course claims she has not seen the footage. I am sure she was busy doing… what does she do at that hour? It is to late to be in court perjuring herself… Sheree has btw appeared to be giving the bird to both Iyanla and Nene during their segments. Why the hell does she keep going on these shows knowing people just hate her more and more the more people she drags into court? My knuckleheads LOVED her until she started all this crap. She is beyond an idiot. It is clear Andy despises her. Does he despise her just enough to let her come back and be mocked again….or really want to piss on her face by inviting her back on a show?
Poor Matthew, he now realizes he is on a hatchet job show on live TV so his job is to hold up a Nene mask so Sheree can respond to her HOUR LONG DIATRIBE in THIRTY SECONDS. Sheree says , Honestly Nene I am really happy! I am so happy that you are off being successful in Hollywood and I am living in a tiny apartment with my kids sleeping on air mattresses. I am so surprised that the newly rich and famous still have time to talk about me. Oh um… I mean maybe get a life…
Sheree doesn’t have time to think about Nene. She is too busy suing bloggers who live in the ghetto and rarely leave their house! She has never seen anything Nene has done, but she is really happy, happy, happy, happy! She is so happy..
Caller Question: How do you feel about Kenya and Porsha? Sheree of course was much too busy plotting her next court appearance (maybe she does this shit because she likes that it is called an appearance?) to watch RHOA. She really wants you guys to know she is NOT WATCHING but here come her assessment of the season, ” Obviously Kenya is doing something right because that’s all I hear about is Kenya, Kenya, Kenya…” Oh the jealous seethes.
Andy says, “A lot of people want to know what the status is of Chateau Sheree?” Matt Morrison says, “I Do!” and Sheree Says, “I Know, everybody does, that is like the question of the day!” (Oh wait, IN COURT didn’t you say, “Normal people” don’t come buy and ask about the house? So far you have said the whole world is on the edge of their seat about Chateau Sheree, people drop buy unexpectedly…but in court you say it is this big privacy issue?” Really now. Do we even need to show up on May 30th? My lawyer is already paid in full and Lord knows from the looks of you tonight, you can’t afford to keep doing this. I’m just trying to help you learn some financial responsibility, Sheree. My readers, got me. Ain’t no one getting checked over here, boo. Did you just say Chateau Sheree needs it’s own show? It garners more press than most of your housewives? WHAT DID YOU JUST BRAG TO ANDY COHEN THAT THE HOUSE YOU PROBABLY DO NOT OWN GARNERS MORE PRESS THAN ANY OF YOUR HOUSEWIVES? Girl, you better put that money in your pocket and call the whole thing off.
Andy makes fun of her for it taking YEARS to get her house built. It takes time to “Tear down the trees.”
I feel like this show should be OVAH like my court case. lol. Poor Matthew picked a crap show to be on because this show is all about making Sheree look like the fool that she is. Andy is SOOOOOO over her. Now he asks her how things are with Bob. It’s better! I got a check and that is all I really ever asked of him! I dun spent all dat on some…. attorney fees which is why I am sitting here in my payless shoes looking a mess.
Molly the caller is all kinds of fucked up. She tries to get her question out, and it is has Sheree has any work done, because she looks great. To quote Funky Dineva, “Chile Cheese” she lucky if she can get some fascia to cover her expired house wrap. OMG Drunk Andy just said she needs to make a He by Sheree jumpsuit for men. HE JUST KEEPS STABBING. Has he surpassed Jodi Arias yet? Sheree is so fucking stupid she doesn’t get how much he is stabbing her. So he asks, “So what is going on with She By Sheree?” Because he doesn’t know ROFLMAO… and Sheree is all …”I actually put that on hold. I been focusing… I was really focusing on..this whole co-parenting thing with Bob. (at this point I may have literally wet myself laughing) I have been really focusing on my family and um Kairo and you saw my kids really grow up on TV (on the air mattress and why don’t we ever mention Kayleigh? is it because she is applying for a witness protection program through the IRS?)
Okay, I literally got an hour behind on a half hour show backing this up and had to switch to the DVR. Which I am about to wear out. Matthew even makes fun of She By Sheree. Matthew says “People are waiting for this (She by Sheree)” Mind you Matthew has no idea who the fuck she is, but now he knows it is a show about making her look stupid.
The game is about Matt’s hair. But the whole game is a dig at Chateau Sheree. If they get five right Chateau Sheree will finally be built! If you thought Iyanla embarrassed her. She can’t hold a candle to Andy.
Sheree says dating in Atlanta sucks there are not a lot of guys out there who have not been around the bed. Like that guy Jason Lapene who is now twatting with some chick from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and trying to flee to Miami. Not like I have a security team or know people, because if I did,I would not be all Kenya Moore about it. Let’s just say I have friends here in the ghetto that did not appreciate his appearance at my house. And they were VERY disappointed he decided not to perjure himself in Fulton County. That would have been delightful. He did show up to court though and tried to sit in on mediation. I wonder why…
Andy throws Walter out as someone Sheree could date. I don’t think Walter would even fake date Sheree. He does alright for himself.
Mazel was his mom and Jackhole was Tan Mom for doing gay (guy) porn. He said gay guys are not even that much into leather. Might be the funniest thing he has ever said.
Mama Joyce won the Mom poll. Andy was pissed it was not Mama Elsa and rightly so.