I have the worst headache in the world. My left eyeball feels like it’s being stabbed with a RHONJ stiletto. I want to pluck it out and put it in my purse and blog half blind. I say all that for pity of course, but also as an apology in advance that this blog is probably going to be crappy.
I saw the first 15 minutes or so on first look earlier today. I was not impressed. It’s just Nene’s time to talk about how impartial she is and how she tries to keep the other girls from fighting and looking like fools on TV. She says she wish someone would have shaken her and told her to stop when she first started RHOA. Then there is the usual Nene and Gregg fake storyline. While that is running, I will take the time to explain that when wearing a long gown with a slit up to there, when seated one should cover ones knees with the skirt of the gown and not display shiny, greasy legs or in Kandi’s case your black underpants. Close your legs to married men! Is a good suggestion, but close your legs to the giant TV camera pointed at you is equally useful information.
Back to Nene and Gregg, Nene seems irked by a couple of things when talking about her divorce. First, she did not like the ladies talking about her having a thing for Peter. And separately, Phaedra is called out for courting Marlo to be on the show expecting her and Marlo to hate each other because of their mutual relations with Charles Grant. Then once Marlo and Nene became friends Phaedra stopped talking about Marlo like she was from high society and started calling her a thug. Phaedra denies all this. However, that has always been what I have heard. Now how that has anything to do with Nene and Gregg I have no idea.
It seems like round two of the RHOA reunion is going to be all about focusing on all of Phaedra’s “shadiness.” There seems to a focus a bit on her marriage and the alleged shakiness thereof. Y’all have a lot to say about that marriage here. OMG. Nene is addressing the fact that Phaedra sought out Nene’s half sisters and invited them to Ayden’s birthday party in order to get the dirt on Nene. Nene and her sisters are estranged. I gotta admit that is pretty damn shady. But that happened way, way, back on Phaedra’s first season. Kenya is loving this. Why is this an issue today. Nene and Phaedra seem really, really at odds. Phaedra says that Nene’s brother dated her (Phaedra’s not Nene’s that would just be weird) cousin forever. Nene says that doesn’t matter and she would never do something like that because she does not have a “dirty soul.” Um, am I supposed to be washing my soul too? I did not know that. I’m lazy about even washing my hair. I don’t know where to begin with soul washing. Is there some liquid soul product that they sell at the churches these days? Isn’t that like what Jesus is for? Oh Happy Day! Oh Happy day! When Jesus washed….my sins away. Sorry. I’m pretty sure Jesus is responsible for the inside of me washing. I think he does it with blood even. Which I suppose is what you would use inside a body. That Jesus dude was smart. Moving on…
Phaedra is trying to act like her sisters were clients of hers. Nene shuts that down saying she just had a conversation with her sister and she told her everything and Phaedra needs to own up to it. WOW. Nene has made up with her sisters. Jesus will like hearing that! Maybe he already heard and that is why Nene has such a clean soul now. Nene is really going deep. Now she is alluding to Phaedra’s past. She did this on twitter not too long ago as a blind. I think it must be her reconciliation with her sister(s) that has driven the wedge between Nene and Phaedra deeper. Ah…so that is what is going on. Nene is pissed but not going ghetto. She is speaking forcefully but calmly and not getting physical. And I thought this reunion was going to be boring. Nene is talking about the Lord and forgiving but not forgetting. Andy asks Phaedra to explain herself. And basically she can’t. Nene says loudly, “What did I do to deserve that? NOTHING!”
Phaedra tries to deny it. Phaedra say the sisters came to her. Nene says She could bring Angela (sister? Angela Stanton?) and sit her right here. Kenya says she is in her dressing room now. Phaedra says “Twirl, you can stay out of this. You ain’t in this conversation.” Kenya of course does not. Sidenote: Does Nene need to shave her legs? HDTV is not forgiving. Phaedra finally just apologizes.
Kim is here! Kim is wearing her real hair. It’s fantastic. Nene has her stank face on toward Nene. Kim says the lawsuit is hilarious. Now Kandi has on her stank face. Kim says she never confirmed the dates. Andy says production begs to differ. Nene talks about the meeting prior to the trip where they all agreed. Kim talks about Anguilla not being in the US and that was her understanding of the trip. Andy is not supporting Kim. That is interesting. Kroy is lurking protectively in the wings. I kinda love that. Sidenote: I rarely take medication. I have to say Advil works like a charm! Feeling much better.
STOP THE PRESSES! KIM ZOLCIAK JUST ADMITTED SHE BOUGHT A FORECLOSURE! I am so glad she did because that drama led to me meeting my new boyfriend Ed B. Follow him at @mediawhoreEd . Kim defends making fun of Kandi’s house. Kandi says she was offended. Nene says that she thinks Kim is either racist or stupid. Kim defends herself. Kim talks about Kash gate. Kroy comes out with paperwork that “shows” Kim had the name first. Kandi isn’t buying it but says she is not going to name her kid that now. Kim and Kandi both agree they enjoyed their prior friendship but it is over now.
Nene and Kim are asked if they will ever be friends again. They both sound sad when they say they probably would not. Andy asks them to hug goodbye. They do. Nene and Kim are both a bit teary and Kim leaves.
Next week it is Kenya versus Apollo and Miss Kenya has texts! Ut-oh