It’s time for the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion and Andy is wasting no time. The first order of business is to ask Kandi about serving Kim with papers about Tardy for the Party. It sounds almost like Phaedra served the papers on Kim at the reunion! Kandi says that Kim brought that on herself She was no longer going to allow her to benefit from the song. Coincidentally, Funky Dineva, who I believe is a friend of Kandi’s and appears on her Kandi Coated Nights show from time to time recently released the unedited version of The Ring Doesn’t Mean A Thing which has Kim singing with no autotune. Interesting timing, no?
Phaedra wastes no time with the subtle jabs at Kenya saying “everyone up here is a lady,…..well everyone up here is a female.” Kenya has had her sour face on most of the time. Remind me again how I am supposed to understand that she is not taking all of this seriously, Kenya fans? Puhlease. Andy asks Phaedra what her Mama the preacher thinks about her…what did he call it? open attitude? And Phaedra is the first to say the word penis. She says she likes looking at large penises. That’s our Phaedra displaying her knowledge of being a “southern belle” on national television.
Kenya time. Andy calls Kenya sweetie. He called Reza sweetie a lot on WWHL when he was making an ass out of himself. I think he uses that word exclusively as a put down. He asks a viewer question, “Are you serious when you say everyone thinks you are Beyoncé?” Kenya says she did have a line of people asking for her autograph at the inauguration and someone said, “Oh Beyoncé can you sing this for my daughter” and she laughed at it. Andy asks if she was trying to get a threesome going with Phaedra and Apollo. Kenya says if she was trying to get a threesome going then PHAEDRA would not be a part of it, but Kandi might be a good choice. Kandi laughs. A viewer asks Phaedra about Apollo’s inappropriateness for participating with Kenya’s flirtations in Anguilla. Phaedra says she had a conversation with Apollo about that.
Kandi and Nene banter about who throws shade at the other. Yawn.
Kenya and Porsha conflict is addressed. Andy asks a question about Miss USA v Miss America that ends with, “isn’t Miss America more of a compliment anyway?” Kenya tries to stick up for the Miss USA title but both Andy and Porsha point out that Miss USA has no talent and just wears a bathing suit. Buuurrrrn! Kenya says she doesn’t get upset when people get them confused. She says Porsha did it to embarrass her. How would being called Miss America embarrass anyone? Kenya is not very well-spoken.
Porsha is asked questions about criticizing Kenya for being older. The question goes on to say she better hope Kordell didn’t marry her to be a trophy wife or she will be dumped at 40 like Sheree was. Nene laughs out loud at the Sheree comment and Cynthia does too. Andy asks Kenya if it was necessary to have two security guards escort her out. Kenya says she felt like Porsha just came to start a fight. I feel like her whole existence on the show has been about me. Andy says, “So the most interesting thing about Porsha is you?” Kenya says, “You said it not me.” Kenya says that BAPS was a compliment. Porsha calls Kenya bitter and aggressive and Kenya starts with her fanning again. Porsha points out that she is going to make her contacts get dry.
A viewer says Cynthia grew a backbone this season. Cynthia says she has always been that way. Another viewer calls her a two-faced shit stirrer. Cynthia says she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. Porsha says that Kenya calls herself the first black Miss USA when in fact Carole Gist was and she was actually also from Detroit. Kenya looks like she just ate some bad shrimp. Andy asks if Kenya has a response she just says no.
It’s the tired old Stallion Booty versus Donkey Booty. I’m over this conversation. Back from the break Andy asks Phaedra a viewer question, “Do you wear all your own hair?” Phaedra says yes. Kenya busts out laughing. Probably because as Phaedra sits on that couch she has the hair of ten young Philippino girls shaped into braided hat sitting on top of her head. Cynthia tries to gently call Phaedra out and Phaedra says sometimes she might clip something in but she doesn’t wear fake hair. You know except for the mound of fake hair on her head right now. Kenya is sweating like a whore in church and keeps wiping her greasy face. Back from break we are talking about the booty videos again. Phaedra says she has all real reviews. Phaedra says Kenya’s fake reviews were all taken down from Amazon. (This is true, Kenya was reviewing herself a ton before the video even came out.) I am so sick of this debate… blah blah blah. Phaedra says Kenya’s booty is made in Mexico. Kenya calls Phaedra an evil little devil. Still arguing…Kenya says that Phaedra was not relevant until Kenya showed up. Still arguing… Kenya says “Don’t come for me unless I send for you” and then threatens Phaedra with, “Don’t get disrespectful because you will be picking up your teeth off the floor pregnant and all. Don’t go there with me.” That was WAY too much Kenya!
So really all we have to talk about is the dresses. I thought Porsha looked great. That said, that dress was way over the top for a reunion show. Not the right function for the dress. Kandi looked good, especially her hair. Y’all know I hate one shoulder dress but she rocked that one. I could have done without so many shots of her black panties. Kenya’s yellow number was too big and took up too much couch. The gold piping didn’t lay right. I hated the pointless illusion panels on the shoulder. Nene looked like a ginormous blue mess. Again, too big for the couch. Too big of a size and Nene does not EVER need to emphasis her shoulders. Cynthia looked fabulous and I liked Phaedra’s demure maternity wear. What did y’all think!
Next week Kim returns….