This episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is going to be fabulous if for no other reason than it is Adrienne Maloof’s last episode! I love Yolanda. Jennifer goes and drags Marisa back over to Brandi and Yolanda (and Lisa) to finish the conversation. Brandi tells Marisa that rather than putting her husband down by telling the entire world she wants to sleep with someone new, they should both give each other a hall pass. Lisa looks physically ill but she makes Marisa tell Brandi who said she would sleep with married men (It was Faye). Yolanda gives Marisa a lecture on trash talking your friends in front of others and the conflab is finally over.
Linda Foster and Taylor are besties. Taylor tells her that it has been hard for her be nice to Yolanda and she cries and asks Linda if it is okay with her being friends with Yolanda. Linda says she is fine with it. Meanwhile, Lisa has cornered Faye and Faye says that Lisa uses Brandi to get back at Adrienne. Lisa sets her straight on that with no effort whatsoever so Faye changes tack to say that Lisa defends her and brings up the infamous bathroom sex at the white party. Lisa was the one to walk into the bathroom and pull Brandi out so she would not stay in there making out. That was all that happened. Interestingly, Faye has the tabloid version. It would seem that Faye is the mouthpiece for Kyle AND Adrienne. Faye then makes the exact same chess reference that Kyle made on last season’s reunion. I would imagine if you held a gun to Faye and Kyle’s heads, neither of them could tell you the first thing about how to play chess. Interesting they both use a chess analogy though, right? Lisa in her talking head says, “Checkmate, bitch!” This scene is hilarious. Kyle jumps up to intervene while saying in her talking head, “I really don’t like getting in other people’s battles.” Enough airtime for Faye, let’s move on to Ken and Lisa! Or at least watch Adrienne cry.
Oh Lord, Faye is now saying she is being attacked. Give me a break. Now she is really bored. Brandi tells Faye if she is bored she should leave. Wait, what? Kyle just told Lisa in her own home that the conversation has nothing to do with her? REALLY KYLE? Faye finally walks away in defeat, but for one glorious moment, I thought Brandi was going to punch her in the face. Kyle says ONCE AGAIN in her talking head that she just can’t get involved or take a side. Cut back to Kyle right there stirring the pot. Camille shows up once it’s mostly Kim and Kyle fighting again. Where was she before? Kim is now blaming Kyle and Brandi for destroying her life. I think she needs to reread her 12 steps.
Wow Lisa got married to Ken three months after meeting him! I had forgotten that Pandora got married on the same day as her parents. It’s their one year anniversary.
Enter Adrienne. Kyle is “crying” the moment she walks in. Kim was already unstable. Camille enters dramatically with an, “Oh my God!” It is as if they all have a book to refer to entitled How to Make The Biggest Scene Possible on Someone Else’s Big Day. One of them should definitely write that. Perhaps, Kyle. Can Kyle read and write? Mauricio is hovering on the arm of the sofa huddling with the other crying bitches.
For some reason Ken gets a whole talking head to say he is pissed off that Adrienne didn’t come in and find the hosts and apologize for being late immediately. That seems rather ridiculous. It leads me to believe she is going to do something even more disrespectful soon. Adrienne says she left her kids home crying so she could support Lisa. The lies slip off her tongue like butter. She’s utterly amazing.
Marisa looks pretty with her hair with a bit of a french braid on either side. Yolanda and Marisa are talking about Adrienne and why she is even there given her circumstances. Adrienne is inside talking about marriage counseling. Adrienne tells Kyle that she doesn’t want to be a downer on Lisa’s say so she asks Kyle to give Lisa her best. In her talking head she talks about how Lisa did not even rush over to comfort her. ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME? Adrienne, five minutes ago you said you were tearing yourself away from your despondent children just to come support Lisa and now you are unable to locate her at her own party? Someone says, “Pretty bad the story is on TMZ before it is filed in Superior Court.” Yep, and who could have done that? Could it be…
I can’t believe Lisa allowed that hot pink heart monstrosity. I see why Lisa didn’t want to do a public ceremony. She is trying really hard to keep it together. Oh God. Ken is winning the hearts of women everywhere with this speech. It was a great ceremony.
End notes: Kyle‘s store is thriving. But though it is right down the street from Lisa’s restaurant they don’t do lunch. Yolanda is receiving treatment for her Lyme disease. It did not come from her lemons. Adrienne and Paul have both moved on. He’s dating a former Miss Nevada, 27. She is dating Rod Stewart’s son, 32. Taylor is madly in love with her lawyer, who isn’t quite divorced yet. Brandi had a big 40th birthday party at SUR. Paul was welcomed, Adrienne was not invited. Kim and Kyle participated in a celebrity diving show that brought them closer together. As a team, they came in last.
Next up, the reunion recap!