YAY! It’s time for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I believe this is the finale. Which sucks because RHOBH is my favorite these days. Lisa is getting ready for her vow renewal. Lisa and Brandi are going to get massages and dish on Adrienne. Adrienne is having another one of her sponsored parties that she gets paid for. Lisa was invited and Brandi wasn’t. They’ve decided to hang out in Lisa’s beautiful yard for the day. The massage guy does feet. I hate the ones that skip your feet. Whenever I am in NYC the most important thing to do is to go to Chinatown and get foot massages at every single place that has the little old Chines ladies that do them. I could stay there all day, with meal breaks in Little Italy. I have slothlike qualities.
Adrienne much like most of the housewives that get brought in to add their name to an existing product is acting like she is launching her own line of vodka. It’s called Zing. I wish the Zingbot (from Big Brother) would show up and zing Adrienne mercilessly throughout the entire event. TobaccoRhoda now has me noticing Chef Bernie’s nose twitch. I should block her for that. Adrienne goes after Paul as soon as he asks Bernie anything. Adrienne is dragging out a dozen dinner plates for the appetizers. Really? Even Paul knows better than that.
Kyle, Yolanda, Marisa and Camille are at the party where there are living statues, living topiary…etc. They start with vodka shots and Yolanda abstains. Marisa shares with the girls that Brandi texted her suggesting that Marisa and her husband give each other a hall pass to spice up their marriage. Ew Faye is there. Faye is there trying to say that Brandi was in the bathroom with a guy at the White Party. Adrienne is saying that Brandi throws everyone under the bus. Each time one of the bimbos says something about Brandi, Yolanda shuts them down. Camille is up Adrienne’s butt. Marisa is standing with Camille, Adrienne, and Faye. Bad idea Marisa. Paul gets painted up like the human topiaries and climbs up in a tree. Adrienne mocks him and says he is always seeking attention. I imagine he is. He sure doesn’t get any from Adrienne.
Brandi brings up all the open marriage, separate bedrooms business arrangement rumors about Adrienne and Paul’s marriage in the car on the way to the party with Jennifer. The divorce was announced online the day of Lisa and Ken’s vow renewals. Brandi is telling Jennifer about the cattiness at Adrienne’s party and how she was the topic of conversation. Sounds like Yo gave her the heads up. They are questioning Marisa’s loyalty. In another car Kyle and Mauricio are talking about their breakup and how the tabloids make it even harder. The thing is Adrienne and Paul were both calling TMZ and Radar Online to get their side of the story in the media.
Ack! It is Lisa’s segment on DWTS so I may have to miss a few minutes of RHOBH. Lisa is unhappy with the sexual intimacy of the dancing and doesn’t like the um…genital contact. She comes down the stairs with Giggy and hands him off to some man in a top hat. She is of course wearing a bright pink flowing long dress. She did well enough to stay I think. She is not a natural dancer. Len says it was acceptable but not exceptional. There was too much staggering about. Her arms were nice. Bruno says that the rocks around her neck were effecting her posture. He lines were nice. The woman judge whose name escapes me said that she was okay.
Back at Lisa’s party, Brandi asks Mauricio if she has ever flirted with her he says know. Brandi and Lisa talk about Adrienne planting false stories to the tabloids about them. Everyone is talking about Adrienne’s divorce. Adrienne’s friend says that she heard from Adrienne that she felt Paul’s priorities were all over the place and that he felt he always needed to be the center of attention. Kyle says that there are two sides to every story and they need to hear Paul’s. Yes I am shocked that Kyle of all people was being rational about it, too! David Foster’s ex-wife (Taylor’s friend Linda) comes in and warmly greets Yo with kisses and give Lisa some of her homemade jam. It seems that David has a type, nice looking blondes who like to be all Martha Stewart in the kitchen. There is a conversation with David and Yolanda and some random female party goers about Yolanda’s submissive nature with David. I love how Yolanda points out that is not a sign of weakness. I don’t get why so many of ya’ll are so against traditional gender roles in other people’s relationships. Just because
we some people prefer that, doesn’t mean you have to enjoy it or that it is wrong.
Some dude is actually engaged to Faye Resnick. His name is E.J. Marinate on that.
Meanwhile, Yolanda confronts Marisa about bringing up Brandi’s text to the witches at Adrienne’s party. Brandi is right there. And Yolanda basically says explain yourself to Brandi. Marisa is in way over her head and trying to squirm out of the entire situation. Marisa makes yet another joke about wanting to screw a tall, dark and handsome guy. Meanwhile Faye sees drama and walks right into it. Brandi, immediately says to Faye, “You are not involved in this, you can go.” Faye says she is involved with everything. Don’t tell me what to do.” Kyle and Camille are hiding in the background. Faye refuses to leave the conversation. Brandi says that Faye should be a lady and go. Faye then says to Brandi, “You want to talk about being a lady? No matter how many Chanel’s you borrow you will never be a lady!” Faye needs a drink poured on that rat’s nest on her head. Faye asks Brandi if she is happy that she broke up Adrienne and Paul’s marriage. Yolanda, Brandi and Marisa all tell Faye she is full of shit. Faye and Brandi walk off. Faye is despicable.
YAY! There is one more episode next week. The vows will hopefully finally happen. Faye Resnick continues to be a cuntbag. Lisa still hopes that Kyle will back her up agaist Faye. AND ADRIENNE SHOWS UP TO THE PARTY A SOBBING MESS! Perfect. I can’t wait.