Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Back to La La Land

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 3On this week’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we get our final glimpse of Paris as the girls take a cruise on the Seine.  I can’t get over how cold and windy it was in Paris in July! At least they seemed to have packed lots of jackets and long sleeves. Yolanda gives Brandi some shoes that even I think are awesome, and so her!  Oddly, most of the Bravo PR pics are from the cruise even though it was barely shown!

Back in Beverly Hills there is an odd scene where Marisa says her mother-in-law wants Marisa to co-list the family house with Maurico. I’ve heard that this was just storyline to get Maurico screen time and that ultimately Marisa just did the listing herself. The house is stunning. I am so jealous of the library. That is what a library in a $25 million dollar house should look like.

Lisa Vanderpump would be perfect if it were not for two things. First, it’s gross and annoying that she and Ken bring the dog to the dinner table. And worse, she seems obsessed with Kevin Lee, who I could do without seeing on my TV screen at all. Her house is so amazing though that those things barely matter. She has a huge infinity pool and a pond with swans in the backyard, and there doesn’t seem to be any other homes nearby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 3Yolanda and David are doing a fashion shoot for an asian magazine. Yolanda manages to name drop Barbara Streisand (he has a concert with her later that evening) and Rod Stewart and Andrea Bocelli who he was recording with at the time. I love Yolanda and I guess it isn’t name dropping when you are just discussing your husband’s work day. You know, like how we would explain our husband being late to a function, “Well, there was a gas leak down at the Shell so he and Gus have to get that cleaned up before OSHA shows up, y’all just go on without him.” It’s all the same thing really.  Yolanda doesn’t like the hair or the dresses and you can tell she is not feeling well. The shots turned out great even if the “kiss my tie” was a little….um…odd.

Kyle is preparing for her store opening. I went to her website the other day. It is very much Kyle’s style.  You know, if you like that sort of thing. It’s essentially, from the little I saw very expensive casual clothes. I can see Nene shopping there.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 3Taylor goes out for a drink with “an old friend who has been having a difficult time with a breakup.” Turns out, it’s PAM!  Pam has not been having a difficult time with a breakup. Pam has been living in England with an old rich dude. Despite his lack of…um…athletic build, he could do better. I should probably google and see if he has dumped her yet. Let’s see if she mentions the kid. Taylor lies to Pam about dating. She claims she is not. But she has been boinking her married lawyer for months. So contrary to what Pam says she is not in fact the only person getting laid. Pam is proud that she drinks a lot and fucks a lot. Taylor thinks she should give her some advice about all the drinking and fucking but she is concerned about that whole wrath of God lightning strike thing. The previous guy who was never really around her anyway took his Lamborghini back. Pam is angry at Brandi because she was right about her fake relationship with the last guy.

Um, this scene needs a special paragraph just for the odd thing Pam is doing with her cigarette. First of all where are they that she can smoke? California is like one big no smoking state. Yet there she is sticking her cigarette in her drink and somehow lighting it? Am I missing something here? I am so distracted by two trainwrecks colliding I have no idea what is actually happening. Did Taylor just say that she has a life coach? How is that even possible? That whole scene was deliciously bizarre.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 3As tired as I am of seeing Kyle sitting at the vanity slathering on make-up, at least she isn’t bringing in a fake glam squad like some other housewives in other locations. If you had told me three seasons ago I would be tired of seeing Mauricio I would never have believed you. Sadly, the more scenes he does, the less attractive he becomes. At Kyle’s grand opening, she refers to Chanel twice. Which is very odd because her store doesn’t sell Chanel. Did she just say her store was 5,000 square feet? Did it look that big to anyone else? Yolanda holds up her credit card. It was NOT a black AmEx and honey if anyone has one it is her. Sorry, I notice these things. Later, Yolanda points out that Kyle is selling used vintage Chanel in her store. Thank you Yo, for clearing that up for me.

Taylor tries to make up with Yolanda. She claims that her conversation with Pam caused her to feel the need to apologize. She’s not very good at it. There was a lot of justification that irritated Yolanda who had already written her off. Taylor realizes that Yolanda is allied with all the right people in the group and she is trying to get in Yolanda’s favor, but it might just be too late for all of that. Yolanda essentially calls Taylor a rotten apple. I am suddenly hearing Donny Osmond singing in my head. I blame Taylor for that. There is a very tentative hugging it out. I don’t see this truce lasting.

Oh look! It’s Camille in one of her final RHOBH scenes. Go Big Camille! OOOH Adrienne is arriving with Paul. I am going to miss Paul. Brandi sees her coming in and runs for a drink and perhaps sends a tweet. Adrienne stays away from the others it seems other than a brief encounter with Kim. Kyle cuts the ribbon and Faye Resnick appears to elbow into the photo op, natch. Since the cameras are rolling, Kyle decides to pull Kim aside and confront her on her Paris behavior smack in the middle of her store opening, because that is what a good sister does. You know who would get along well? Kyle and Reza. That’s who. Kim has some story about taking the wrong medication. I am not buying it and neither is Kyle.  Kyle needs an acting coach. Kim is very believable in her crying scenes. Kyle? Not so much.

Next week looks great. Lisa and Ken’s vow renewal and Paul finally getting fed up with Adrienne!

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Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster

81 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Back to La La Land

  1. vivaladiva831

    Kim’s explanation of mixing up her medication- cough cough *bullshit*cough

    Kevin Lee is almost as annoying as Bobby Trendy

    I think the thing Pam was lighting her cigarette in was a candle. Just when I thought she couldn’t look more tacky and “grifter”, she goes and does this scene. WOW

    • Oh, duh. lol. I get it now. I’m a little slow this morning. Thanks! I was seriously confused!

      • susana

        You weren’t the only one, Tamara. Thought she was trying to inhale alcohol fumes through her cigarette. Sounds like something Pam would do. lol Thanks for the clarification.

    • LakeGirl

      Its so funny that I was going to post about the “pill” mix up when I read your post. I am a Pharmacy Tech and the funny thing about the way she discribed her pills, the shape, color, etc made me laugh out loud. When she mentioned she thought she was taking her water pills that were kinda pink, those would be hydrochlorothiazide. But the REALLY strange things is that OXYCODONE (a strong pain medication) has the same color although it is a little thinner.
      Like you I am calling BULLSHIT on the mix up. Seems to me that if i took a water pill and got high off of it, I would know what was up. She knew exactly what she was doing.

  2. Shellbelle

    I like Yolanda but the tracks in her hair bothered me when she was talking to Taylor. I couldn’t stop staring!…. Why is Faye getting involved once again- UGH! I wish she’s go away!

    • Tasha

      I thought I was the only person that noticed the poor weave job she had going on. I was thinking ‘C’mon Yo, you have entirely too much money to look like you picked up Brittney Spears’ old tracks and fused them in”. Poor thing, the colors didn’t even match….big sigh

    • sammiejane

      I noticed in the next weeks preview Faye (who is she? other then an opportunist getting her 15 mins of fame off of the tragic death of her friend Nicole Brown Simpson :( ) corners Brandi and accuses her of the demise of the relationship of Adrienne (Guuh) and Paul. Faye is obviously trying to hoard in on becoming a Housewife! I promise to ban RHOBH if they employee that plastic looking, nosey, overbearing beyotch!

      • ChrisG04

        Yes! I caught that preview bit with Faye asking Brandi if she felt any remorse/guilt for contributing to the demise of a marriage and you can hear Yolanda say that’s a stretch. I too will ban RHOBH if they let Faye join.

      • Same here. If she becomes a HW I just wont watch. I have my limits and she’s on the other side of them.

      • I am right there with ya ladies. I too will stop watching and l already stopped watching the RWH of New Jersey. I would sit there with my stomach clenched feeling ill watching all the fighting and screaming. I moved three thousand miles twentyseven years ago to get away from that fighting dysfunctional family bull. I sure as hell have no desire to see a bunch of delusional visions of grnadeur ho bags like Faye attacking everyone Kyle sics her on…. Which eventually will be everyone.

  3. verneewaggin

    Hi Tamara,
    Great recap. Please refresh my memory on the fake boyfriend between Pam and Brandi. I sorta remember this came up when Brandi still had the cast on her foot. It has been soooo long ago. Keep up the good work. By the by, how are you enjoying The Amazing Race??? Was that couple the biggest idiots by not using the pass. If that was my boyfriend I would kick his ass straight to the curb

    • CRAP! I forgot to watch again! TOO MUCH ON!

    • KWM

      Yes, and when he kept insisting that there was probably someone else behind them. She was non to pleased with him in that final interview.

    • ChrisG04

      I thought that at one one of the gatherings Pam was talking about how the boyfriend was gone a lot, traveling for work, and Brandi joked he was off having affairs. Pam got offended about Brandi saying that…but it ended up being true.

    • susan

      Hey – can someone refresh my memory – which one is Pam? is she the one who had “game night” in that house that was barely furnished? and told everyone her sunglasses cost $25K??? I thought she was marries to somebody and had a kid?

  4. Kevin

    They filmed the reunion 2 weeks ago right? When is the season finale?

  5. Mimi

    I don’t agree with your rude take on the Yolanda and Taylor meeting. Yolanda says she doesn’t play games or likes gossip. If that’s the case how would she know anything Taylor had said about her or David if she hadn’t gossiped? When Yolanda confronted Taylor at Mohammad’s the first thing she did afterwards was run to Kyle and do what? GOSSIP about it. Yolanda has to realize that just because she’s married to David and of course loves him and believes he’s great, not everyone can say the same. The man is on his 3rd marriage, that makes him a 2 time loser where I come from. There must be something about him that isn’t so great or he wouldn’t be on his 3rd marriage. My point is everyone has different dealings with people so don’t assume because your’s is great everyone’s is. I am hot and cold with Yolanda. She comes off all knowing and uppity. From the outside looking in I see a somewhat superficial hypocrite who should practice what she loves to preach. I have learned when someone is always saying their life is great, their husband’s great, everything’s great it usually isn’t. Maybe this is the one time it is only time will tell. I would have rather seen Yolanda practice the same thing she was preaching to Taylor about and make up her own mind about Taylor from her own experience instead of the gossip she was hearing. Hypocrisy I think so!!!

    • Are you fucking retarded? This is Tamara’s blog. A blog is where people give their opinions. And you come out of nowhere to tell her she is wrong?? Don’t let the door hit you if you find it so increadibly wrong.

    • James

      I don’t think anything is necessarily “wrong” with Foster. I think he just needs to be with a certain kind of woman. The old fashioned homemaker type who basically lives for her husband. Yolanda fits that bill and seems to really enjoy it.

  6. Nothing about the big tear in the seam of the shoulder if Adrienne’s outfit at the party? Bravo focused on it and showed it clearly at least three times. Weird.

  7. Mickey

    Kyle amd Reza………….that’s a stretch. I dont find Kyle that bad. I do find Yolanda to be a snob and those shoes were hideous. It will be interesting how the reunion will be since Adrrienne didnt show. Lisa and Brandi will probably go after Kyle since Lisa has been making digs all season. Wonder if Faye will be there……….They need to add some new blood……..probably a splash of color

  8. So wait…Taylor’s boyfriend guy is MALLIED??? Does um…Brandi…know that?? Taylor’s a little Leeann, no??

    • KWM

      Yup she knows and she made a statement about it something to the effect that it is wrong and people will end up hurt and he has children. But harsher than my recollection of it. He was her lawyer for one of her cases and Taylor was well aware he was married with children.

      • The worse part of that is Taylor was friends with the guys wife. When a reporter asked her if her husband and Taylor were sleeping together, the wife stood up for both of them. AND she went on to say she supported Taylor and that she (Taylor) was a dear friend and a good person. A person of conscience would stop the afair immediately one would think upon hearing those words. That woman got burnt all the way around in a pretty shitty way. I did here though in aall fairness that they were getting ready to seperate anyway as the marriage wasn’t working anymore sfter I think like almost twenty years.

  9. Lucy94

    What is it with these idiot women that they have their ciggys but never have a lighter??? Remember when Taylor had her meltdown in the limo and she was screaming for a light and the driver got out and lit the wrong end? And now drunken Dana? Has to use a candle? Did they not learn in smoking 101 that the thing is not going to light itself? TRASHY.

    • You seem pretty invested in this. Most people dont give it that much thought. Even when they are the smoker. Let alone a viewer of the smoker.

    • The only people I’ve ever known in my life that smoked and had no lighter weren’t really smokers. So my guess is either production provided them for the scene or at the most the girls are “social” smokers. But until the comment above I hadn’t really paid any attention to it.

  10. Anastasia Beaverhausen

    I kept wondering where they were when Dana was smoking, too. Along with Adrienne’s tear, Dana’s shirt was stained. Did they bring her back for that scene to make Taylor look good?

  11. I was trying to figure out what was the purpose of Dana’s segment. It was serendipitous irony that Brandi did warn her about her husband.

    Did anyone find Yolanda’s scene with her husband “uncomfortable”. It appears that there is no chemistry between the two of them in that scene. That being said, I love love love Yolanda on the show, she is now a reason to watch. Her relationship with Brandi is perfect. Yolanda, Brandi and Lisa could carry the show on their own, the rest of the cast would not be missed. Could Kyle and Mauricio please stop trying so hard to be “that couple”; Mauricio’s allure has worn off.

  12. FGF

    I’m with you, Tamara!! I used to love to see Mauricio but now even the sound of his voice makes my stomach turn!! Also, WTF is his name?! Marisa was calling him Maurice last night!!

    I thought Yolanda read Taylor very well because Taylor essentially lied to her face at Mohammed’s. She denied saying anything about David but then confesses later?! Also, considering how she sat right across from Yolanda and talked crap about her husband at the Morroccan restaurant, Taylor got what she deserved.

    Is it me or did Dana/Pam look different? Maybe she lost weight or something but her face looked different for some reason.

    Great recap, Tamara!! The gas leak analogy was too much!! LMBO!!

    • KWM

      Our theory is that before the show he probably went by Maurice and for the show he became the latin lover Mauricio. As my friend said if you are Jewish in BH are you buying a house from Maurice or Mauricio?

    • DJ

      @FGF – Yes, Dana did look different, but I thought it was just because of her new hairstyle.

  13. No way OC can live up to this. Or any other city. Those ladies and their families are just not embarrassing enough. Maybe slade. They need a raging drunkard.

    • Brooks will fill the role nicely.

    • Maybe they should ask Dana/Pam back for part time! She was a hot mess! Funny as hell though. She sounds like she ate a pack of smokes for breakfast. What a sloppy drunk. *I like to drink. I like to fuck. Gimmee that penis.* Who says that? Dana/Pam! Did she say she was living in England with some older rich guy?

  14. jakies mom

    Mauricio seems dumber and dumber to me every episode and less attractive. How he could let his wife walk out of the house in that ill-fitted, ugly dress is beyond me no matter how blindly in love with her he is.

    Kyle’s store looked less like an upscale Beverly Hills store and more like an outlet store for seconds. The clothes on those mannequins at the door were atrocious.

    So tired of the Kim and Kyle fake pow-wow’s, the excuses and the crocodile tears. It’s time for Kim to get off this show and work on her recovery without the rest of us having to participate. If she wants to do that then have Jennifer get her on Celeb Rehab with Dr. Drew.

    • Guess what? You don’t have to participate. That’s why your remot has so many buttons.

      • jakies mom

        Or I can make my own choices and comment how, when and if I want to. You can always ignore my posts if you don’t like what I have to say. It’s as easy as working a remote control.

      • Or I can make my own choices and comment how, when and if I want to. You can always ignore my posts if you don’t like what I have to say. It’s as easy as working a remote control.

      • jakies mom

        Since you are a friend of Tamara and based on Twitter she seems to like these posts of yours I will happily just walk away. Apparently others were right, this board is just for some and not everyone’s comments are welcome. Have fun. Don’t worry the door didn’t hit me on the way out.

      • Psst! Nobody listens to TeeCee! Her argumentative nature is just part of her pleasant personality! :)

      • Wow, that was just too easy. You are right though, it’s for some and not others simply because they choose to walk away rather than ignore. I rather like watching the back and forth, with TeeCee/others. It’s more entertaining than some of the shows we comment on here :D

      • Well I hate it. She is too vicious and mean spirited and not the least bit entertaining. I didn’t realize she was a friend of Tamaras. I guess that’s why she feels so free to say whatever she wants in the shittiest way possible. I’ve been blasted by her and I attack right back but it’s not who I am. I bet a brand new poster wouldn’t bother coming back to this site if she came after them their first time posting. I almost didn’t and then I thought why shoulld she win for being a total bi&^%?

      • The MCFR

        Teecee needs to stfu – what a moron!

    • ChrisG04

      When they just showed bits of Mauricio it seemed genuine and romantic and supportive…now it seems he’s got the same lines to “support” Kyle and just repeats them over and over again. The scene where Kyle is getting ready and asks his opinions on the dresses, he just sounds bored.

      • See I think he’s on more not for Kyle but to help his RE business. Though if I was in BH I doubt I’d base my realtor search on who’s been on a reality show! Oh but if I did there are others, like the boys on Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles that I’d hire first.

    • I’m no friend of Tamara’s. I hate that crazy bitchcon.

  15. 1. Hmm, it appears it was chilly in Paris, but there is a thing called Yahoo Weather. It’s really worth checking before travel so that one can pack accordingly, and not end up with travel ensembles in Paris that pass for Sunday circular catalog wear advertising Mother’s Day. And Brandi’s blue gladiator stiletto sandals from Yolanda were just…unfortunate?

    2. In today’s Women Who carry Incorrect Bags While Traveling news: note to the Richards sisters; next time leave the Chanels packed away when you go sight seeing & city cruising, and go with an Evelyne bag instead. The latter is actually meant for weekends and walkabouts. At least, I can say the sisters weren’t as bad as the RHoA ladies stomping through African drumming huts in platform Louboutin stilettos, le sigh. Beyond that, I’m rooting for Kim’s recovery. I like lucid, dry-humored, Boom-Boom-Shebang Kim, even in her metallic open-toe wedgies.

    3. I love Yo-Yo, but my lord, her tracks at Kyle’s store opening. Baby girl needs some Kim Kimble or Elgin Charles in her life. On the flip side, I enjoyed her shoot with David (minus the tie-tip smooch): and HOT DAMN that body is ON POINT. Insofar as modeling is concerned, Mama still has IT.

    4. Marisa was sort of an afterthought for me in this episode. How odd that she’s so connected with her mother-in-law but isn’t so connected with Hubby. I feel sort of bad for the chap.

    5. Dana-Pam was giving me straight up Valley of the Dolls/Jackie Collins-Dominick Dunne novel messy- albeit the “Malibu Skipper” Party Planner version…. and I liked it… Is that bad?

    • Why were the shoes unfortunate? They’re on trend this season.

      • vivaladiva831

        Oh my gawd those shoes were FUGLY. they would have been ok if they didnt have the lace-up.

      • vivaladiva831

        Also things can be unfortunate that are on trend-uggs with shorts anyone?

      • Oh I totally agree with that statement. Uggs period are horrid lol :)

      • backporchcafe

        On trend does not equal good taste for me…but I’m icky picky so please pay me no mind.

      • Hey! I will pay you mind..err would if I had one?! Seriously, this is what makes the world go round, everyone has their own opinion/likes/dislikes :) I loved the shoes but not the color of them.

      • I couldn’t wear them as I am way too short but Brandi? She has those beautiful long legs and I love those sandals! They look like Brandi’s taste too. She will look great in them. I thought that was so sweet of Yolanda to buy her a pair of shoes. How thoughtful.

      • backporchcafe

        Definitely thoughtful of YoYo without a doubt. I just have a rabidly irrational prejudice against knee high gladiator stilettos, lol.

  16. Char

    I live in LA and when one of my girlfriends came to visit, we had a RHOBH day. We went to Villa Blanca for lunch and then to Kyle’s store. The smartest thing Kyle did was pick a great location – she’s in a prime location in Beverly Hills and less than a block from Villa Blanca. The store is bigger than it looked on the show tonight. And it was full of expensive casual clothes with a few RHOBH souvenir type items.

    While my friend and I were in the store, Kyle, Mauricio, Portia, and another one of their daughters walked into the store. Right away Kyle asked us if we wanted to take a picture. I was very happy to stand next to Mauricio in the picture. Mauricio was very nice and chatted with us for a bit, asking us a little about ourselves. As we continued to browse, Kyle talked to us a bit and we tried to pump her for info about this season as they had just finished filming.

  17. Kevin

    Has anyone seen this clip? Yolanda shuts these b*tches up real quick… I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/season-3/videos/brandi-has-a-crush-on-whom

  18. The scene where she’s showing Mauricio the dress choices for the night, the first dress I would absolutely love minus the nude panel between the boobs. I hate too low cut cleavage dresses but that panel was just horrid.

    • DJ

      @Karma: When I saw that nude piece, I thought it was something that she was wearing while she was getting ready and that she had put the dress on over it just to get Mauricio’s opinion before she decided what to wear. Did you see RH of Miami when Leah was in a store trying on clothes over what she was wearing instead of changing in a dressing room?

  19. I just found you while searching for pictures of Asa from Shahs. Since none of my friends share my appreciation for reality tv, I’m so glad to have found you and your funny summaries. I’m the only one here who wants Faye to join– she’s the definition of “love to hate” I must admit.

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