Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Not That Kind of Tea Party

Kyle By Alene Too Grand Opening PartyKyle is headed to Lisa’s to have a meeting to clear the air. Is that Lisa’s front door? Clear glass? I would hate that! Lisa literally lives in a glass house!  As for the Lisa and Kyle meeting, nothing was really settled. It’s more of the same. That entire scene was pointless. Kyle did get to practice her tearless cry again, but other than that, pointless.

Okay, what? Brandi is invited over to Yolanda’s to watch Yolanda’s daughter jump her horse. It seems like nothing more than another way to get Yolanda’s girls on TV and then…. Yolanda starts saying that she wishes she had more money. Yes, that’s right. Yolanda feels bad because Bella’s peers have two or three horses and she can only afford to buy Bella one. WHAT? Doesn’t she have like eleventy kajillion dollars? And she is wishing for more money in front of Brandi who has to work the pole to put mac and cheese on the table? What’s up with this nonsense? Yolanda gives Brandi a pep talk about going to the tea that Adrienne will be attending.

RHOBHTaylorteaOf course Lisa’s new house is called Villa Rosa. Of course it is. Peter and Jax from SUR are bartending.  Meanwhile Lisa tells Brandi to keep her mouth shut because the last time she said something to Adrienne it cost her $20K. That’s interesting because Brandi said it cost her $2K. Either there was a lot more lawyering involved or someone is exaggerating. Why are the bartenders behind the bar in dingy wife beaters? I can’t believe Lisa didn’t put them in shirts!

Lisa, Adrienne, and Fay are taking a hoooooge stretch limo to the tea party. Why? Faye seems to have invited herself, or Kyle invited her. No one seems to particularly want her there. Taylor pointed out that it was Adrienne who was leaking stories to Radar Online.  That certainly became obvious over the months. Kim calls with an excuse of why she cannot come to tea. Apparently, her new dog bumped her in the face. Kyle’s pretend shock over this story was some of her worst acting yet.

For some reason the girls are talking about Taylor and her gymnastic abilities. This leads to encouraging Taylor to perform some, which prompts Lisa to suggest she sign a release first. Then Taylor says, “Everyone likes to sue everyone here, so I will just sue you.” And it’s about to be on.  But first we are going to talk about Kyle’s upcoming White Party. Taylor talks about getting turned away at the party, once again alluding to lawsuits. This prompts Lisa to ask Brandi and Taylor to help her carry somethings into the kitchen. She gives Brandi one of the small arrangements to carry and Taylor a tea cup. I should point out here that Taylor seems drunk and should probably not be carrying a tea cup at all.  Lisa tells Taylor and Brandi (who has been on her best behavior) to stop the innuendo about the lawsuits.

RHOBHBrandiAdrienneTeaMeanwhile back at the table, Adrienne tells the others there is no lawsuit. Camille jumps in to tell everyone Adrienne is not suing anyway. Yes, Adrienne did just say that herself but Camille feels the need to repeat it for some weird reason. Camille also gets a talking head to drive the point home.  There may not be a “lawsuit” but Adrienne did at least send a cease and desist and attempt to get Brandi to sign documents saying she would not repeat her personal information again. Brandi was legally threatened so we are splitting hairs here.

Taylor brings things right back up again and Adrienne denies taking any legal steps at all toward Brandi and accuses Brandi of making false allegations on twitter about “someone in her camp” (that would be Bernie, the creepy chef guy).  Bernie called the media with made up stories about Brandi. Brandi told Adrienne and she said she would get to the bottom of it and fire him but she did neither.  They both started saying, “Shame on you!” to each other. Brandi leaves and Lisa declares the tea party to be over.

Next week, the same damn drama continues at the white party, only this time with the husbands involved. Speaking of the husbands, what was up with Mauricio hanging out at the tea party a few feet away with Ken? Doesn’t he have a job? He has nothing better to do than watch a tea party being filmed? Weird.

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61 Comments

Filed under Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Marisa Zanuck, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster

61 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Not That Kind of Tea Party

  1. Ericzku

    Why oh whydidn’t Brandi have the letter from Adrienne’s lawyer in her purse? I kept waiting for her to take it out, fling it at Adrienne, and say, “There was no letter? Really? What do you call this you lying bitch?” I guess that would have been too perfect!

    Also, anyone else catch that smirk on Adrienne’s face at the end of the argument? It was as if she knew she was lying and was thinking, “Got you bitch! You look like a lunatic now!” Of course, Adrienne only succeded in making herself look like the calculating lunatic!

  2. Becstar

    Ugh. I loathe Faye.

  3. Cynthia

    Did anybody else notice that when Lisa called Kim to see if she was coming to the party, she was talking to her from a bathroom, standing over a black toilet? And, yeah, what was up with the wife beaters?

  4. Ms Urethra Franklin

    Maybe Paul is giving the directive to the lawyers without Adrienne’s knowledge?

    If it is only a cease & desist request with some sort of decree for Brandi to never to speak of Paul & Adrienne again, then it is technically not a lawsuit and Adrienne is just being a bitch about the semantics.

    Lisa’s house is just ridiculous. That front of the house looked like a boutique. It was all vestibuled encased with glass. I die.. Privacy is not a concern since it is on top of a hill with a private gate and driveway. I just love her house and I want it but without the pastels. I hate pink…. Where was the tea at this party? It was cocktail party with teenie weenie sandwiches served by guys with big weenies. I would be grossed out by all that armpit hair hovering over my food. Wear shirts when food is being served but that’s how they roll in LA I guess…..Why of why was Faye-tal there? Did she get a gift too?

    Poor one horse trick Yolanda. It’s hard to imagine that with Mohammed as her baby daddy that she can’t get one more horse so her daughter won’t look so pathetic to the other millionaire babies….I don’t believe her when she has all these excuses to miss events.

    Speaking of excuses, the Queen of excuses Kim did not disappoint. Was it just me or did she sound out of it on the phone with Lisa. Maybe too much Vicodin? Just sayin….

    • Ms Urethra Franklin

      …and during Kyle’s crying scene with Lisa, I could not stop staring at her eyebrows. The right one was painted on in a different shape. Unnatural eyebrows freak me out.

    • When Yolanda has missed filming it’s because she’s traveling or attending events with her husband, nearly all of which have been covered somewhere in the international press. I don’t blame her for choosing to spend time with her husband and family over filming with those crazy dames. I wouldn’t take time away from my husband and loved ones to spend time dealing with a bunch of unhinged clucking hens either.

      Lisa’s house is a bit of alright, ain’t it. The grand dame definitely knows how to live well. All that manly nakedness around the pretty cakes…not my cup of tea either, but in LA and Miami clothes are always an afterthought.

      I also took Adrienne’s legal issues with Brandi to be a simple cease and desist letter. Still hardcore of Adrienne on one side, but on the other, Brandi and her over exaggerations about being sued…sigh…that girl is such a drama magnet.

  5. I wondered about the letter deal too. Also about those grubby wife beater shirts that were awful and the money Brandi says she has paid for an attorney. I swear she said ten thousand dollars several times all over on different blogs and articles. If this is it for their story line I wish we could just wrap it up already and end the season if this is all they have. .Then they have that awful Faye walk up with Adrienne and Kyle. Did anyone else think that was kind of rude for for Kyle not to call Lisa to see if it was alright if she brought a guest? I don’t know what the protocol is in Beverly Hills but here in the land of beer, bikers, boobs,(Daytona Beach) and beachbums, we tend to ask our hostess if it is alright to bring a friend along. And Camille just is fading away into nothing.She seems to be getting thnner and thinner with each episode. She can’t weigh over eighty pounds. Oh/ I can’t remember why
    Taylor and Russel weren’t invited in the house for the white party. last year? Who were they sueing?

    • Ms Urethra Franklin

      Russell was threatening to sue Camille because she was repeating what Taylor confided to her about being married to an abusive husband.

  6. jakiesmom

    Next week it seems Adrienne admits there was a letter so yet again Adrienne lies and defends Bernie. And Camille has some nerve. Camille had the same type of letter from Armstrong and wouldn’t be in the same room. St. Camille’s halo fell off from season 2 this,

    Faye shouldn’t have been there but Kyle was probably hoping she would stir the pot again and watching Kyle’s face you could see she was loving it all.

    Tamara, it wasn’t Mauricio, it was Lisa’s partner at Sur, Guillermo who was sitting with Ken at the tea party.

  7. L52094

    Let’s not forget that Paul is now suing Bernie for false statements, pictures, etc. about the alleged abuse. Adrienne lies so much and so well that she believes it all. It’s rather disgusting. You have so much, but are so miserable. “Money can’t buy you class”

  8. All the “drama” tonight was pete, pete, repeat. But I did get to indulge my main reason for watching……what incredible eye candy tonight. This “tea” was so lavish with so much wonderful detailed prep. What a shame these women can’t behave themselves long enough to enjoy the bounty.

  9. Man, Brandi needs to man up period… I know she’s not balling by any means like these other ladies but she can’t let that skank with money try to shut her up with intimidation… Brandi needs a sister girlfriend who is basically here for her period and will knock off wigs and hooves and such, just because.

    And can we stop inviting these wanna be somebody people to other folks houses to stir up drama??? Like…. What is Faye? Why does she exist??? Why did Lisa let her stay?? And how is she going to pick up a gift in the chair like it was there for her? Rude

    • jakiesmom

      I just rewatched it and I think its all in the editing. Faye was a friend of the housewife and as such may have been required to be at the tea. That doesn’t mean she was invited by Lisa or wanted in the house. I think they edited Lisa’s talking head to make it seem that Faye wasn’t wanted or invited when in reality the first was true but the latter isn’t.

      • MaryC

        Lisa Tweeted that Faye was not invited and that she doesn’t lie. This in response to someone asking Kyle why she brought Faye.

      • stephey

        Kyle tweeted that she would never bring someone who was not invited? who is lying or can producers invite any old person to the house?

      • jakiesmom

        And now Lisa has answered definitively on Rumor Fix. She did not invite Faye. Bravo did. There was also a confrontation between them that was edited out where Faye confronts Lisa about being disinvited and lisa responds by telling her that she wasn’t disinvited…she wasn’t invited in the first place. .
        .

      • Oh now that’s something I’d have loved to watch and also explains Faye’s absence in the last scenes of the tea party.

    • DJ

      If there were gifts for everyone, then it’s obvious that Faye was expected to be there even though we’re supposed to believe that she wasn’t invited. It was in the script!

      • KWM

        I will have to re-watch but from what I remember they don’t actually show Faye with a robe. Although seeing as Lisa is also the consummate hostess, I would not be surprised if she had extras on hand in case any of the ladies wanted a different style.

      • Sandi

        Faye probably got Kim’s gift since Kim didn’t show up.

      • JeanInNYC

        in the show, Kim did not cancel until Kyle came and Lisa called her. In one scene, one of the chairs does not have a gift on it. I think this bit was edited. I think Kim called earlier and Lisa removed one of the gifts but kept the chair for symmetry. I, too, think that kyle knew that Kim wasn’t coming and invited Faye without telling Lisa.

      • jakiesmom

        I watched again and there was not another gift or place setting only a chair so it seems that Faye took Kim’s place at the table. So between that and Lisa’s continued insistance in the words of Cat O from DC…Faye was NFI…not effing invited.
        I

      • That’s how I saw it too. The camera clearly shows the other chair and no place setting. Also, when everyone else first picked up the gift and was holding it, then looking at it, Faye was empty handed and had a dumbfounded look on her face.

        Lisa doesn’t like Faye, I really don’t believe she’d invite her to an event at her home. If it was a forced production event that she had to be invited to I’m sure Lisa would have just held it at one of her restaurants.

      • jakiesmom

        I posted this above about this. Lisa has now addressed it publically.
        faye was not invited.

      • jakiesmom

        s/b I posted above about this.

  10. Not A Kim Z Fan

    Starting to really like Yolanda. She’s kinda soulful a lil bit- by that I mean she speaks from the heart and doesn’t mince words. Yes, she’s definitely “affected” but her feedback is surprisingly on point. I wasn’t expecting this kinda realness from her… And for a psychotic Martha Stewart-esque rich girl, she’s actually coming off as more down to earth.

    Also glad Faye had no lines this week. Next step, banish her from the screen all together…

  11. Not A Kim Z Fan

    Also Camille’s shades and that black toilet were fabulous… As Reza would say, “they are everything!” Putting them both on my nuevo riche, “how to blow a million dollars in a day” shopping list LOL

  12. myinfo

    I think they should change the name of this show to a Dinner and a fight.

    Kim’s excuse that her dog hurt her nose therefore she couldn’t attend Lisa’s Mad Hatter Tea party reminded me of the “dog ate my homework” excuse.

    Kim is getting paid big time to just call in her scenes. I want that job.

  13. KWM

    I am too lazy to go back and look but in last weeks recap thread someone said that new puppies and nose jobs do not go well together. Whoever said it was spot on…If it really happened.

    And there was no way that was sober Kim on the phone, she was slurring her words and sounding all loopy again.

    • DJ

      @KWM – Here’s the comment from last week.
      ThunderMonk said:
      February 5, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      “If Kim did her nose job research *casually scratches bridge of nose* she would know that puppies and children are notorious for suddenly reconfiguring yet-unhealed nasal bones.”
      I remembered this too when Kim gave that excuse last night.

  14. Sandi

    I was wondering what was up with the wife beaterers, too. Glad I’m not alone. When Adrienne said Faye was a lovely person, I almost gagged. I don’t think lovely people withold evidence that could help prosecute their BFF’s killer and then write a sensational book about above-mentioned BFF.

    • KWM

      I said the same thing to my husband, lovely people don’t withhold evidence and profit off their best friends murder.

      Ugh the wife beaters, yuck.

  15. KWM

    Stupid phone, did not mean to post.

    I really like Yolanda. I think she comes off as misunderstood in some of the things she says. My father in law is from Germany (so not warm and fuzzy to begin with) and even though he has lived here for 63 years (moved here when he was 18) he still gets confused on the right say and what some of our saying are.

    Which brings me to the whole not enough money. From what I read she got a lump sum from Mohammad and he gives her child support and she got to keep the design business. And while the amount would be huge for us, it wasn’t that big of a settlement (3 million) compared to some of the other ones you hear. And this is just a guess on my part based on what she says in her blogs, but she is not foolish with her money, so when she says she wished she had more money to buy Bella another horse I believe her. David has the money and I doubt she would ask David for money to by his step daughter a horse, I also doubt David would agree to buy her a horse.

    Unlike some of the other housewives I am guessing she is holding onto that Mohammad money just in case she becomes ex-wife number 4. And who knows what her prenup with David looks like.

    Please no more Faye, ever.

  16. Belinda

    Gotta get into the horsey fray….I have 3 horses ( and they ain’t run down nags ). One for each girl . We also have a guy who lives here to help take care of them ( and me when the old man ain’t home ) …LOL ! We aren’t poor but we don’t have their kind of money. Geez ! For that matter the 3 dogs cost us $10,000.

  17. Lisa in Oregon

    Am I the only one that noticed Lisa’s bedazzled shirt in her meeting with Kyle? Her name is on the cuff in rhinestones. Normally this would be tacky, but of course looks amazing on her.

    What i wouldn’t give to be invited to Lisa’s house for a tea party! My jaw was on the floor during the entire tea party portion of the show. Just loved every bit of it.

    Can’t stand Faye. I’m also very embarrassed for Adrienne.

    • Lisa in Oregon

      Forgot to mention that I though Brandi, Lisa and Taylor looked beautiful. I thought Kyle looked old and odd in her animal print. Way too dark and stodgy.

    • I couldn’t agree more with Lisa in Oregon. Tonight’s comments are making me LOL. The HWBH storyline this season is nothing but ridiculous. Makes for great Tamara Tattles fodder……….LOVE it!

  18. jaymitch

    I can’t decide who is worse- Brandi or Adrienne.

  19. I just finished watching and happened to notice that Faye was absent during the last scene between the Brandi and Adrienne. They showed some of the other women’s reactions but Faye was not in the any of the shots nor was she in the goodbye shots. Interesting.

    In the preview Faye is front and center for the nose job reveal party. And yup, the preview shows Adrienne basically telling Brandi if she doesn’t want to get sued and doesn’t want to spend another 10k on a lawyer, then watch what she says. If that’s not admitting to suing/sending the damn letter I don’t know what is. Like has been stated above, I really think Adrienne believes her own lies and forgets what the truth really is.

  20. Undine

    Yolanda has grown on me. I still think she is a bit pretentious and her husband seems like a magnificent asshole but she is very likable. Adrienne is a piece of work. She lies without missing a beat. She screamed at the top of her lungs at Mauricio’s event that Brandi was going to have a lawsuit served on her. Now, she calmly states (when Brandi walks away from the table) there’s no lawsuit, Brandi is making it up. Adrienne-girl, bye with that mess. I wonder what happened to Adrienne? She seemed like a nice, levelheaded lady at the beginning of the series.

    • Not A Kim Z Fan

      Either she is bringing the drama to maintain her spot OR she was always nuts but just did a good job of hiding it. Either way she looks like a freak of nature. I wonder what she looked like before her catwoman surgery…

      Quick question, have any of the original cast left the show? I can’t remember…

      • Undine

        I was always uneasy about how Adrienne treated Paul and their interactions on the show were always discomfiting to watch. Even though Adrienne seemed decent the first few seasons, her behavior to her husband was odd. Which leads me to Marisa–something ain’t right with her either. She started off promising, but she trashes her husband at any opportunity. How dreadful. Hopefully they won’t invite her back. And thanks to her little lawsuit/cease and desist hijinks–I think Adrienne will be bounced out of RHOBH as well.

      • ThunderMonk

        I agree with you about Marisa. If she were my spouse, I would be hurt. You know how some couple have a rule about not joking about divorce or bringing up divorce in anger? It’s the same kind of thing with Marisa and sex with her husband – don’t joke about wanting to be with other men and claiming you’re just saying what everyone else is feeling.

      • None of the original cast have left though it is only season 3 that we’re watching now.

  21. ThunderMonk

    Is anyone else really, really tired of Lisa’s “you didn’t defend me” refrain? The reunion was one thing, maybe, but could Lisa really expect, when Camille made her accusation about Sur, to turn around and scratch out Camille’s eyes before Lisa even opens her mouth with an answer? Kyle knows how to defend friends – it just might not always be Lisa, in a split second.

    Lisa does not need defending when Camille makes a baseless accusation that can be dismissed with a single number.

    • You’re right, Kyle knows how to defend friends. The fact that she hasn’t defended Lisa shows where their friendship stands.

      • Undine

        I totally have to cosign on this. There has been slow burning, simmering resentment towards Lisa and her wonderful Vanderfabulous life from Kyle, Adrienne, and certainly Taylor. It all stems from envy and jealousy, and her popularity with fans and Andy Cohen. Certainly Lisa has problems like the rest of us humans, but her sangfroid and self possession makes insecure heifers like Kyle and Adrienne boil. Oddly enough, Lisa who is very worldly–seems very slow to comprehend all of the ladies (except Brandi) actually sort of hate her guts.

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