Kyle By Alene Too Grand Opening PartyKyle is headed to Lisa’s to have a meeting to clear the air. Is that Lisa’s front door? Clear glass? I would hate that! Lisa literally lives in a glass house!  As for the Lisa and Kyle meeting, nothing was really settled. It’s more of the same. That entire scene was pointless. Kyle did get to practice her tearless cry again, but other than that, pointless.

Okay, what? Brandi is invited over to Yolanda’s to watch Yolanda’s daughter jump her horse. It seems like nothing more than another way to get Yolanda’s girls on TV and then…. Yolanda starts saying that she wishes she had more money. Yes, that’s right. Yolanda feels bad because Bella’s peers have two or three horses and she can only afford to buy Bella one. WHAT? Doesn’t she have like eleventy kajillion dollars? And she is wishing for more money in front of Brandi who has to work the pole to put mac and cheese on the table? What’s up with this nonsense? Yolanda gives Brandi a pep talk about going to the tea that Adrienne will be attending.

RHOBHTaylorteaOf course Lisa’s new house is called Villa Rosa. Of course it is. Peter and Jax from SUR are bartending.  Meanwhile Lisa tells Brandi to keep her mouth shut because the last time she said something to Adrienne it cost her $20K. That’s interesting because Brandi said it cost her $2K. Either there was a lot more lawyering involved or someone is exaggerating. Why are the bartenders behind the bar in dingy wife beaters? I can’t believe Lisa didn’t put them in shirts!

Lisa, Adrienne, and Fay are taking a hoooooge stretch limo to the tea party. Why? Faye seems to have invited herself, or Kyle invited her. No one seems to particularly want her there. Taylor pointed out that it was Adrienne who was leaking stories to Radar Online.  That certainly became obvious over the months. Kim calls with an excuse of why she cannot come to tea. Apparently, her new dog bumped her in the face. Kyle’s pretend shock over this story was some of her worst acting yet.

For some reason the girls are talking about Taylor and her gymnastic abilities. This leads to encouraging Taylor to perform some, which prompts Lisa to suggest she sign a release first. Then Taylor says, “Everyone likes to sue everyone here, so I will just sue you.” And it’s about to be on.  But first we are going to talk about Kyle’s upcoming White Party. Taylor talks about getting turned away at the party, once again alluding to lawsuits. This prompts Lisa to ask Brandi and Taylor to help her carry somethings into the kitchen. She gives Brandi one of the small arrangements to carry and Taylor a tea cup. I should point out here that Taylor seems drunk and should probably not be carrying a tea cup at all.  Lisa tells Taylor and Brandi (who has been on her best behavior) to stop the innuendo about the lawsuits.

RHOBHBrandiAdrienneTeaMeanwhile back at the table, Adrienne tells the others there is no lawsuit. Camille jumps in to tell everyone Adrienne is not suing anyway. Yes, Adrienne did just say that herself but Camille feels the need to repeat it for some weird reason. Camille also gets a talking head to drive the point home.  There may not be a “lawsuit” but Adrienne did at least send a cease and desist and attempt to get Brandi to sign documents saying she would not repeat her personal information again. Brandi was legally threatened so we are splitting hairs here.

Taylor brings things right back up again and Adrienne denies taking any legal steps at all toward Brandi and accuses Brandi of making false allegations on twitter about “someone in her camp” (that would be Bernie, the creepy chef guy).  Bernie called the media with made up stories about Brandi. Brandi told Adrienne and she said she would get to the bottom of it and fire him but she did neither.  They both started saying, “Shame on you!” to each other. Brandi leaves and Lisa declares the tea party to be over.

Next week, the same damn drama continues at the white party, only this time with the husbands involved. Speaking of the husbands, what was up with Mauricio hanging out at the tea party a few feet away with Ken? Doesn’t he have a job? He has nothing better to do than watch a tea party being filmed? Weird.

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