Okay, I am going to watch Vanderpump Rules and this will be more of a Random Thoughts than a Recap. Update, okay it’s a recap. Because apparently I am unable to look away. Stassi is apparently suspended from work. I must have missed why. Stassi is having a birthday party in Vegas. Since Stassi dumped Jax she is taking Frank as her date. All of her friends are telling Stassi Frank is a scumbag. Stassi is getting pissed off her friends hate Frank. Her friends are all like, “What happened to chicks before dicks, man?” Like totally. I might dislike Stassi’s brunette minions more than I dislike Stassi.
In other birthday news, it’s Scheana’s boyfriend’s birthday. I actually like Scheana. I know it’s wrong. But I do. Her boyfriend looks cute in this episode. I’m in a good and loving mood today, so maybe that is it. Scheana and two B-team girls have to work the entire restaurant on a Saturday night because everyone else is at Stassi’s birthday. They are swamped.
Thank the eye candy gods that Jax is going to crash Vegas. He’s really the only reason to watch. Well and the manager guy with the long hair. Jax sent gorgeous flowers to her room and Stassi’s reaction was that she wanted to throw them against the wall and take a knife to his face. Oh Jax. You really need to run the other way. Instead we are going to see two fools fight in a parking lot. I admit to really liking when this happened when I was their age. I can’t be too judgey here.
Stassi is taking everyone to Chippendales. Tom, of the concealer and ultra hold hairspray, really wants us to know he is so not into this. Peter off the sexy pony tail is getting hit on hard by some drunk chick who is sure that he is a stripper planted in the audience. Stassi and Frank are making out during the show. Off to a Morrocan restaurant. Enter Jax. Jax is welcomed by everyone except Stassi and Frank and greets everyone. His greeting to Frank was, “You can suck my cock.” Discussion on that breaks out and one of the guys, Tom but maybe not concealer Tom, it’s hard to tell says, “Fuck you Stassi!” Stassi throws a drink in his face. Then he throws one back. All hell breaks loose and it is on. Things move outside and there is production visible in the scene. That is always a sign something awesome is about to happen.
Frank is trying to walk away with a producer. One of the other pretty boys has already taken his shirt off and gone after someone. Then Frank’s purty white sweater comes off and he goes after Frank who gets into a cab and leaves. Way more shirts are flying off than the Chippendales show. Stassi is inside with the pont tail guy and Tom of the Water tossing incident. I have no idea why they are inside when all the fun is happening in the parking lot. Everyone else gets in the limo leaving Stassi behind with Tom and Peter. I say go back to Peter’s room. What. I’m just saying. He’s cute. Looks like Tom might be in the limo too. Jax is hitting the bottle. Literally drinking straight from the vodka bottle.
Morning has broken. The other staff that could not get off on Saturday showed up today. I tink both brunettes have boyfriends named Tom. I am going to need one of tem to change their name. Frank left. Jax left. And poor widdle Stassi is all alone. Stassi is mad at the brunette minions. She texts the minions and their boyfriends a picture of her with the new Sunday people all perky at breakfast. One of the minions calls Lisa from Vegas and interrupts her viewing of Pandora’s wedding video with Ken. She wants not to be scheduled with Stassi because she assaulted her. Lisa is not amused and tells them to work it out. The minions go to the party that night and Stassi was a bitch to them.