RHOA Recap: I’ll See That Donkey and Raise You a Stallion

RHOAseasonfiveI watched the first 15 minutes of RHOA earlier today and I have to say if the last 45 are not more interesting, we’ve got a problem. I am tired of Kenya, I am tired of these women talking about their asses every week on national TV.  Cynthia’s talking heads were so rough edited I can’t believe anything they say. Are they just chopping her words together to make it look like Kenya has an ally? I find this new fast friendship between these two hard to believe. How much of a bonus did Cynthia get for pretending to put up with her.

Seriously, I just can’t recap tonight if it is all about fat butts. Ah, the Runway Red charity event! This should at least be interesting. Phaedra of course thinks that Ayden just has to walk the runway. Ayden ain’t having it. Phaedra needs to put 12 birthday cakes at the end of the runway and watch how fast that boy learns to walk. Ayden seems a bit um… let’s say he really seems to favor his mother. Cynthia is saying she is using ten models from her agency and the rest she got from an open call. In the real world this is a celebrity kids fashion show. The term celebrity is applied very loosely, but that is the whole point of the event. Outside of the modeling practice, Phaedra just starts slandering the heck out of Kenya saying she has a drinking problem, a chemical imbalance, she is bipolar and needs Lithium. Dang Phaedra, you liked Kenya two episodes ago. You may have been late to the Kenya bashing party but you are going big.

Photo Credit: Talking With Tami Twitter

Photo Credit: Talking With Tami Twitter

Now we pretend that Kenya has a production designer in Atlanta. Oh and we pretend that he did four weeks of pre-production on the Donkey Bootie video. sigh. I am so tired of pretending. The poor production guy is just standing there watching Kandi and Kenya argue about the booty video in front of a giant black butt.  I think Bravo production is laughing at all of us for watching this crap.Apollo and Phaedra go to meet with an actual producer. The producer says he thinks the whole donkey bootie video is hilarious. Phaedra is name dropping Jane Fonda.  Both producers are laughing about the donkey bootie name. They are name dropping back. Phaedra and Apollo cannot afford these guys. They will end up using Todd. Apollo demonstrates the video moves and it appears they are making a porn. The male producers seemed at once appalled and aroused.

Phaedra, Porsha, Nene, and Kenya front row at the Runway Red Fashion Show

Phaedra, Porsha, Nene, and Kenya front row at the Runway Red Fashion Show Photo Credit: Prince Williams Altpic.net

These shows are turning into 55 minutes of boredom with a five minute staged fight at the end. I’m trying to anticipate this week’s fight. I guess a Phaedra and Kenya showdown. Meanwhile Phaedra and Porsha are at a teahouse talking about Kenya. Yawn. This is the most boring recap in the world because this episode is snoozeville.

At the fashion show, Apollo ends up carrying Ayden down the runway on his shoulder. Kenya is screaming about twirling and then reverting back to her usual sour puss. Apparently this i because Porsha and Phaedra are having a good time together. After the show, Nene seems to be supporting Kenya. How long until Nene sees the light, y’all? Phaedra walks up on the awkward conversation and we get our Phaedra and Kandi confrontation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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49 responses to “RHOA Recap: I’ll See That Donkey and Raise You a Stallion

  1. QUEEN

    It was a snoozer. Donkey r Stallion don`t matter to me. However, MS USA KENYA makes my head &BUT HURT!!!

    • We Found Love in a Hopeless Place

      I liked the episode. I feel Kandi is being a hypocrite about Kenya’s DVD, because last I recall, she was in a sex store last season stealing ideas for her sex toy line. Also, I was thinking the same thing that Cynthia said: Kim has wine (I assume, from what I heard), Cynthia has a wine, and Nene has her wine, and not one of them complaining about somebody copying somebody. Truth is, all these Housewives are pedding something, and if you want to get technical, all of them are copying Bethenny, so I don’t see why people can’t market what they want to without being copycats.

      • Katrina

        I liked the episode too. It’s funny what sily things women fight about. Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees.

    • Mrs Paula Lee/Fabulous-smiling

      It seems the show is tic or tac, tired of the big girls acting like kids on tv. Cynthina now taking sides with Kenya, she wasnt that fond of her weeks ago. Phadrea has try to be cordial but I think Kenya nd Phaedra should really talk about the fees and approach it professionally. The whole apporach was not right and professional. Nene has always been critical, I am happy for her success, she has slow her role now that her marriage is doing better, I do love that about her, less gossip, more business. Ms Porsha just dont like Kenya, no matter what she does. (Kenya is off

  2. I liked Kandi tonight. I think the director was not Todd. The director is Darren Capik who has directed a ton on workout videos according to amazon.com

    • Gotta love the reviews for the vid on Amazon too. Almost none of them actually bought the vid via amazon but are leaving reviews. My guess would be Phaedra fans. I just hate fake reviews.

      • I buy a lot of things on amazon, and many things NOT on amazon, BUT as a blogger I’m asked to add my review to amazon all the time. It doesn’t make my reviews fake at all. So the fact that people didn’t buy them there doesn’t make them fake in my opinion.

      • I think the point is that people probably have never seen the video. Do you submit reviews of products you have never purchased at all?

      • Jarlath

        You can purchase the video through their website in addition to Amazon so there’s no reason to assume people have not used or purchased the video. However, this problem of leaving false reviews is not a problem limited to this workout video vis-à-vis Amazon

      • Considering I can only find two other sources to purchase the vid from, I doubt those reviewers actually bought it making their reviews fake. Though as Jarlath says, fake reviews aren’t just a problem on amazon.

  3. FLA-Beth

    Here’s what I don’t understand…why does Bravo put someone like Kenya on there who has to have a fake boyfriend. Her production company, Moore Vision Media (which btw, I’m shocked she has not dropped the name) has really not done a whole heck of a lot. I can see if this show was on 20-30 years ago before this thing called the internet came along. But don’t they know these days, we can all figure things out and see how fake things really are. Will Andy confront her on the reunion show about these things or will he ignore what we all know about?

    • I think he’ll ask her via a fan question.

    • Katrina

      How were they suppose to know that her boyfriend was fake? It’s Kenya’s life. It’s not like Walter went to the production company and told them. Walter told a radio station after about 9 episodes had aired. Andy has already asked Kenya about Walter and she denied it on WWHL.
      I’m sure it will come up again at the reunion.

  4. Doesn’t donkey come from bedonkadonk? Why wre they talking about actual animal asses???

    Anyway, great recap of a boring, scripted show. Sorry, but I’m still ok with Kenya. I agree with her positions on most of what has happened.

    That “fashion show” was an abomination. The lighting, the production, the whole thing was low rent.

    • Iced Tea

      Don’t apologize. I like Kenya too. I prefer her body type than that Fakedra anyday of the week.

      As for donk talk..even Nelli said in his song Hot in Herre “is that yo azz or is yo mama half reindeer” LOL. The animals are being sexually harassed indeed for their tight and toned backsides..all that wild kingdom ish.

      Run animals…

  5. Aretha

    The edit I thought was interesting was Kenya’s. They actually added Nene’s voice when she “said” Faketra and I don’t know where the rest was pieced from. They really need to do a bette job

  6. victori0us

    Kenya more has a person writing her lines and directing. I can’t believe this woman just stays readily equipped with a aresenal of witty oneliners. I really don’t like RHOA too much these days. Never was my fav anyway.

  7. This (very cute) little bit part actor from LA is tweeting that Kenya’s Workout Video will be in stores everywhere, not just on Amazon. For whatever that is worth.

    Brandon DeShazer‏@BrandonDeShay

    Kenya Moore’s workout DVD coming to stores everywhere…not JUST on amazon. Distribution baby. #RHOA

  8. Angelface

    Kandi and Derek J are messy with a capital M.

    • We Found Love in a Hopeless Place

      I just wish the next time Derek J decides to wear a sheer shirt, he puts a bra on. Bravo knew they could have glared that out. SMH

  9. I think Pheadra’s DVD is only available on Amazon. I could be wrong. I am not inclined to buy a video to make my ass bigger.

    • Katrina

      I’m trying to downsize mine! Although they are fighting over a DVD, I think they are really fighting about Apollo. They are both trying to gain his attention and respect. Apollo can’t seem to express himself with Phaedra. He’s different when Kenya’s around.

      • Ms Urethra Franklin

        In my opinion Apollo can’t express himself period. He talks in teenage street slang. He does not articulate well. I hate to agree, but I think on a physical level he is attracted to Kenya-I-don’t-wanna-be-ya.

      • I cringed every time he spoke during the ‘proffesional’ business meeting. Phaedra actually surprised me too. The guy was so uncomfortable on so many levels.

    • katbunny

      I’m not incline to work at having a body like Phaedra.
      Phaedra does not have a fine sexy shape! Sorry, but it is the true!

    • becky white

      I am still laughing at that one – best line of the month.

    • Well the director for her vid also did Tia Mowry’s vid, Bob Harper, a Kardashian vid…he directs ALOT of reality star fitness vids. I’m sure you could find one that suits you. :P

  10. Ame

    I can’t imagine that anyone who watches RHOA will buy Kenya’s video. Most people don’t want to help such a unscrupulous person succeed. Team Phaedra and Apollo all the way!!

  11. Iced Tea

    I thought it the show was funny. I am glad Kenya is giving em hell. Derek J is a messy Queen and Kandi is two-faced. Wasn’t she crying a river when Kim didn’t pay her for Tardy for the Party? I guess you don’t bite the hand that gets you a man huh? Fakedra hooked her up with Todd…Inty way…Not to bash kids but Fakedra is raising Ayden to be a #1 brat with a captial B. She better get a grip. Nene doesn’t need to see the light about Kenya. She brought Kenya onto the set and is using her furniture. They are good friends and we all know Nene cannot stand Fakedra. they will be twirling together soon and with Marlo to boot. Cynt is going along for the ride as usual. Porsha needs to go away.Soon. She adds nothing to the series and I would rather have SheBroke by Sheree back on the show. #BuyingBodyByStallion

    • Phaedra didn’t hook her up with Todd. He was there, in Africa, as part of the production team. If anything, Phaedra simply gave her a push to talk to him.

      Also, the nicknames are stupid which is why we’re asked to use their real names here.

      • DJ

        The stupid nicknames that everybody uses on other blogs are really annoying. Sometimes I don’t know who the hell they are talking about. It gives me a headache!

    • SnookumsLynn

      I’m trying to figure out what Phaedra didn’t do? To me it looked like they could not come to a meeting of the minds and PHaedra said lets not do this, we can’t agree, lets leave business out of our relationship. Kenya, didn’t want that, granted it’s all BULL, but I still think as a business women, Kenya fails..and her problem is not the same as Kandi’s, Kandi was a fool to let someone record her writing without hammering that out first. If Phaedra would have let Kenya film and book space and whatnot then yeah, Phaedra is wrong, but mock ups could be seen as part of the bidding process. and with any bid, there’s the potential to not getting the job, and that’s what happened to Kenya, she didn’t get the job, her bid was in essence too high and they couldn’t agree on anything else…so Kenya is assed out…end of story, Kenya is no business women & Phaedra is not doing business unless she’s feeling it I guess…but to me there was not broken promise…jmho

      • Katrina

        It is very possible that some of the conversations between Kenya and Phaedra were not aired. The way it is being presented on the show, it looks like Kenya jumped the gun. It looks like there was no signed contract between Kenya and Phaedra. However, if that is the case, why is Phaedra saying Kenya is stealing her idea. Why would Phaedra, being a lawyer, not get an agreement in place, before discussing actual ideas of a video. It’s one thing to say, how much do you think it will cost to make an exercise video. It’s another thing to discuss specific detail and name of the project. Phaedra told Kenya she wasn’t going to pay her. In the interview, Phaedra said she was going to pay her, but not the 10%. Kenya heard she was not getting paid. This is what Kenya communicated to Kandi. There was definately miscomunication! If Kenya wants to have a relationship with Phaedra, she should not make an exercise video.

      • I get the feeling that when Kenya shows up at the Shoedazzle event wearing a black thong with mesh coverup and a cheap easter bonnet talking like Phaedra that your idea that Kenya wants a friendship with Phaedra will fizzle. IT’S ALL STORYLINE. Phaedra was never going to use Kenya to produce the video because Kenya is not a producer. Just like Phaedra was not a divorce attorney last season.

  12. Jarlath

    I just noticed that the workout video is not sold by Amazon but rather by other vendors on Amazon. One is “Watch It Now Entertainment” and the other “Miles of Movies.” The former has it priced for $12.95 while the latter has it for $49.99. What a price difference!

  13. Vp

    Poor casting with Kendra. At least when Kim was awful she wasn’t faking it.

  14. SJ

    first comment on here…yay! I have to say I love reading your reviews and authentic tea gained totally from hard work and not copy and paste Tamara :) Anyways, this episode was definitely not that exciting for me – about the workout video Kenya-Phaedra bullsh** – I think it is different from all the housewives having their wines because of the fact that Kenya is not just releasing a workout video (which she hasn’t done before) but she is also doing a workout video specifically focusing on the same part of the body as Phaedra…anyways…just my opinion. Also, glad other people saw how much of a brat that Ayden is turning into…talk about spoiled and born with a silver spoon…Phaedra is not doing her son any favours in terms of him needing to be a responsible adult someday. Back to Kenya for a final comment – did anyone notice in her talking heads how she kind of resembled Sheree this week? I don’t know if I just noticed it or what…but if she lost some weight and got toned she would really look like Sheree. Hmmm maybe I’m just crazy….I feel like she really looked like Sheree in eyes…the shape or something?

  15. I was pretty bored through out this whole episode. Actually almost all the episodes and am wondering why I am still watching it? A glutten for punishment maybe? Kenya has made it a drag and so has Porscha. Kandi has always seemed two faced although I like her. Nene I still can’t get past how evil she used to be in previous seasons. Is Phadra working as a lawyer, funeral director for people and/or pets? Never hear anymore about any of that. Never been a favorite show of mine but I just find it boring and lame now and think I will just read your blog and then watch the reunion. Just doesn’t do it for me.

  16. Shellbelle

    I thought it was all redonkulous… Did anyone else catch Phaedra spell purse, p-u-r-c ??!! That was funny… Also T.I ‘s youngest boy was walking in the fashion show…

  17. So sad – I hope ANdy Cohen takes note – the RH shows used to be my guilty pleasure, now they are just an embarrassment. I was a diehard fan, but this episode may have finally finished me off.

  18. FInally getting to watch. Love Love Love NeNe with her grand daughter.

  19. Oh and the producers that Phaedra and Apollo met on the episode are the ones they used. Their company is one of two vendors selling the vid via amazon.

  20. Amusing episode. I noticed that the 57 other children outside of Ayden and Noelle walking Cynthia’s runway show belonged to Tip (T.I.) Harris and his wife Tiny, lol. Cute kids all around! Phaedra did actually utilize the production company we saw her meet with on this episode. They are an all in one production house that specializes in the health and wellness market, & have their own distribution- they’ve partnered with ELLE (and a bunch of other celebs and fitness gurus) before to do their fitness vids.

    Porsha is the only person who doesn’t seem to have her own identity in this show at the moment: her every scene is about her conflict with Kenya. She’s the one that brings actual pedigree to this “socialite” constellation, but we only see her griping about Kenya or obsessing over African yams. By the way, anybody catch her on the Breakfast Club letting it slip that she’s a mom now? Don’t know if she’s newly preggers or if they have a little bambino hid in the attic somewhere, but I guess the yams worked.

    Nene seems to be just sitting back and enjoying the ride, she after all has bigger fish to fry. Can’t say I blame her. Kandi….I’m on the fence about her going out of her way to call Phaedra while she was at the salon to let her know of Kenya’s dastardly deeds (all while getting perfectly permed roots that mixed into a good weave curled at the tips, because she somehow couldn’t put a Gold’n’Hot to her head herself and get the same result at home).

    Cynthia, loving her more and more. She’s going to be one of those old skool fashion doyennes, love that for the nostalgia factor of the ones that came before her. Continue success to her.

    Kenya, I hope she just finds something to do which lifts her up…because the route she has taken thus far isn’t it. She’s capable of so much more- but with her actions, she’s taking the gutterbucket road to get to nowhere. Miss America has always been the more elite title over the Miss USA pageant…but still. Don’t mouth off about being a part of history then behave like….well…whatever we see her behaving like each week on this show…bless her heart.

    • SnookumsLynn

      I will any day of the week go to the salon over doing that ish myself. No shade on that, if I had the dough, I’d probably go about 3 times a week and get mani’s & pedi’s then too…#hatedoingmyhair, #lovebeingpampered

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