Mob Wives Recap: The Butter Knife, The Botox and the Boogieman

Photo Credit: VH1

Photo Credit: VH1

I’m going to try to zip through this episode of Mob Wives really quick for you guys. I am actually feeling good today and should be out doing some banking and grocery shopping. Anyway, I have to say I love the Mob Wives theme song more than any other show. I don’t get how it goes, but I just love the intro.Renee put her house on the market after the non-robbery, robbery. Because the mafia guys will never know where her new house is. It’s not like she has a reality show or anything. Renee is telling Ramona and Karen the story of the brunch from hell. Her retelling is amusing.  Apparently, Italian women talking at the table while gesturing with a butter knife is a personal attack of dramatic proportions.Carla has a scene where she is pumping her kids for info on the soon to be ex-husband’s new young girlfriend. By the kids accounts everything is wonderful. This irks Carla.

Photo Credit: VH1

Photo Credit: VH1

Ang and Drita recap the brunch from hell in the pet store. Again with the butter knife incident. Really?  What kind of Mob Wives are obsessed with a woman wielding a butter knife at a breakfast table? Ang wants to have a botox party and invite everyone. Why?  Later at a lunch on Brighton Beach Lee calls Drita on her cell. Inmates can do that now? The last time I had someone calling me from the drunk tank it had to be on a landline so the charges could be reversed.  Tell me how this works all you criminal types.Speaking of criminals, Renee’s son came home from his grandfather’s sentencing with a report. Essentially he got 17 months and gave a statement that Renee took as not blaming her for being married to a snitch. Renee wants to move out of the house and start a new chapter. AJ says that’s a good idea.

There are kids in nearly every scene. Drita is out playing soccer with her daughters. Drita says she could have been a professional soccer player but she made bad choices. Drita is explaining the concept of a half-way house to her kids. Her older daughter wants to go with Drita on a visit. The youngest kid shows the most sense in situation and balks.

Photo Credit: VH1

Photo Credit: VH1

Renee goes house hunting with Karen and is unhappy with the security of the houses she is being shown. They have basements! And Attics! And Garages! Which are clearly there as breeding spots for wiseguys. How could this realtor not have know this. I love how Mob Wives reminds me of everyone’s names in each scene. I need this information. Or some blondes on the show. Thanks, VH1. Renee did not like that the house had so many windows. Basically she wants an Afghani cave, but in Jersey. Try again, real estate guy. Karen throws in that the house should also be unobservable by the FBI. Renee wants one way in and out, the front door. This is not good OPSEC, Renee. You always need multiple points of egress. If the zombies come through the front door…Oh nevermind.Drita goes to the Drunken Monkey and Big Ang is talking about how her son has lost his rights to visitation. Big Ang is fighting to go see him. I forget why he is in jail but as I recall it didn’t seem like a huge deal. Big Ang shows Drita a storefront for lease near the drunken monkey. Drita calls on her cell and tells the lady she will take it over the phone without even seeing the inside and that she will wait at the Drunken Monkey for her to arrive. I suppose this is how New Jersey real estate transactions work. It’s very interesting that Drita was supposedly looking for space high and low and looky there, it’s the perfect spot next to the Drunken Monkey where she allegedly goes all the time.

Carla is having an argument with her husbandnothusband Joe. He tells her he wants to move the girlfriend in. How does someone fresh out of prison afford this grandiose home we keep hearing about? It looks like more of a townhouse from the driveway.

At the Botox party (read free Botox in exchange for airtime) Drita doesn’t show because of a toothache. Carla doesn’t come because Drita would not be there. So, Renee stirs the shit and says that Carla turtled out because of Love. Objection! No basis in fact! Facts not in evidence, your honor! Whatever. Since the Botox party lacked the appropriate drama, we end with Renee getting a letter from Junior. Cue the dramatic music. We are not told what THE LETTER says. dundunDUNdunDUNNNN!!! Renee calls everyone and no one picks up so she flees the house to find Ramona convinced Junior is going to axe her.


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26 responses to “Mob Wives Recap: The Butter Knife, The Botox and the Boogieman

  1. Tamara, first of all this show takes place on Staten Island, that is in NY, not NJ. Big Ang’s son AJ, not to be confused with Renee’s son, AJ, is not in jail. He is in drug rebab.

  2. Valerie

    Tamara, they are on Staten Island not New Jersey… Other than that, loved your recap!

  3. victori0us

    Tamara T…pls get out my head. I said the EXACT same thing in my head when the theme song came on last night. Best intro on right now. Man I miss a theme song. 80’s and 90’s reigned supreme of TV theme songs. Family Matters was my favorite theme song EVER. But enough of that lol…

    Drita and make-up…yeah. Not too many women wanna look like an Albanian Juwanna Man. That’s like Mama Elsa advertising a plastic surgeon.

  4. Tesla

    Why do you always have to give tidbits on how you feel or what you have to do? Did anyone ask? Does anyone care? My apologies if that comes off rude but they are sincere questions. Nothing is more annoying than when someone just wont get to the subject at hand!

    • What a lovely first comment. I’m sorry, it doesn’t seem like this is the right place for you to read. Kindly fuck off to one of the myriad of other boards which you may find more to your taste. You have interrupted my dinner, which I should tell you is steak and half an avacado. I also had to pause an episode of Revenge to attend to your dire complaint. I shall accept your apology in advance, no need to comment again, I don’t wish to keep you here. Have a marvelous and compassionate 2013.

      • pinkychichi

        LMAO! Just had to pause filing my pinky fingernail to laugh at that. Pls keep adding your special spice. Otherwise recap would be bland. *starring this comment* where are the damn stars..

      • I got all my errands done! #twirl

      • victori0us


        Funny ur complaint is the reason I come here! Yikes.

      • I don’t even watch this show but just pop over to read your blog TT. LMFAO!! So glad you had that mean girl leave here. I was rather stunned and also felt hurt for you. There was absolutely no need for that. I quickly got over it when you came right back at her and got her outa here, Yippee!! You gotta nother one on Mondays RH who is a sarcastic snot. I just didnt even bother responding. Wanted to real bad….. BUT held it in like a fart in church… You ought to do stand-up comedy!!!!

      • Samantha Surprenant

        I’m not too creative. I’ll just ditto sandybo!

  5. Sally

    As an NJ resident (only within a half hour’s drive south from Staten Island) — TT is not really wrong when she said they’re from NJ. I cannot tell you how many former Staten Islanders (and Brooklynites) live now where I live . And they are a colorful, authentic group, who add color and texture to our lives here. So — she ain’t really wrong, for what it’s worth!

  6. Amy in LV

    I can’t watch this show after season 1 where the feds came to pickup the spouses and the women all acted like their spouses were totally innocent and the feds were such out-of-place jerks for waking their families up in the middle of the night and arresting them. These women are so stupid. The feds don’t just show up at your door for no reason and trust me they don’t want to wake up at midnight to show up at your home at 3am to arrest you and the feds’ wives surely don’t want their husbands leaving them alone in the middle of the night. So ridiculous. (And I do understand innocent until proven guilty all being said!) Thanks for recapping this show b/c I still enjoy reading about it and I liked your comment about the Afghani cave- really funny!

  7. sars

    for some reason, when my bf was in jail, he had access to a phone on which he could call my cell for the first few days. but then he had to have someone call me on 3way. maybe prison is different from jail in terms of the phone.

  8. Yeah, the part where Renee tells Love that Ramona didnt show because of Love was psycho nuts.

  9. Thanks again for the recap Tam!! Can I just say how very pissed off and disappointed I was with Carla during the scene with her and her children, and she managed to make her own damn children uncomfortable by Drilling them on the details of their weekend with their dad?!? Damn Carla, the KGB, FBI & CIA, have Nothing on you & your technique for extracting information from an unwilling subject!!
    I have to say, when my now ex-hubby and I split, I absolutely refused to question our daughter about the details of his life..eventhough I really wanted to. It’s bad, because It makes the children uncomfortable and feel like they have to take sides.Simply stated CARLA, it’s WRONG! Stop doing this to your children! We get it, they’re your children, and Joe’s still your husband (which is weird) but we get it– the new girlfriend is getting the wonderful Joe.. the Joe, who not only bought a bigger house, he spends time with the children & whatshername as a family. Wonderful Joe not only brings home the Meatballs, but he also cooks them, and even cleans the house obsessively! I get it, I think we all do. But, would you want to date you? Especially with your horrid, unforgiving attitude! What’s sad is, I actually liked season 1 Carla. Season 1 Carla, was a good mother, friend and jailhouse wife. I don’t know what’s going on with all you guys returning from season 1 and behaving horribly in season 2, but it’s not a good look. not at all!

  10. I absolutely love my Mob wives….if anyone was to ever look up the word Drama queen, Renee’s name would be right up there…this chic is drama with a capital D and I love her for it. What I’m not liking this season so far, is everybody picking on Carla….leave Carla alone

  11. myinfo

    I too love the Mob Wives theme song. It has a similar feel of the Sopranos’ theme song.
    I loved the first season because it was interesting to learn about family members that are / were connected to the mob.

    This season is just non-stop fights, name calling and uninteresting junk.

    Tamara I do love all your recaps for all the shows you recap. I am now addicted to your site.

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