Bethenny Frankel is on Ellen and it is rather heartbreaking. She was scheduled to be on the show before the divorce stuff happened and Ellen said she could have cancelled but she is there to talk to us. Bethenny says she feels like a disappointment and a failure. She’s crying and it’s sad. It must be so much worse to go through with a bunch of assholes tweeting her thoughts from their cold black hearts. I really don’t get what is wrong with people sometimes. I just don’t. Ellen tries to explain that watching someone on a reality show doesn’t mean you know who they are. Something we all need to remember. Ellen says if you think you know what is happening, you don’t.
I wish the best for Bethenny, Jason and Bryn during this difficult time. I suppose you can leave your nasty messages for or about her, below.
Ya know what…I have sympathy for the baby and that’s it! Betheny’s crocodile tears do not touch my heart in any way. I’m not buying it Bethany!
That’s can of hard because it does take two. I agree she should have respected your husband and remember you are in this together
YAY! Way to jump on the hate train and get the ball rolling!
New to your site and have really enjoyed your posts and commitment to accuracy. I’m curious, though, as to whether you share or can understand why people are reacting harshly to this divorce. She was married less than 3 years to a guy who by all accounts appears to be an amazing father and husband. What many viewers saw was BF treating him very disrespectfully and refusing to accept him for who he was (i.e., not as ambitious as she is and “softer”). I’ve read 2 of her books and watched nearly all of the shows. I was very supportive of her, but was dismayed by watching her belittle her husband numerous times on the show and have a hard time being sympathetic – - b/c from what so many viewers saw — she brought a lot of this on herself. Of course, I know we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors — but she’s been pretty much of an open book.
He was as much a dick to her. Calling her damaged, etc. Needed to look like the good guy on camera. I’m with Tamara, and felt the same way before she posted it. wtf is wrong with people? Have you never been divorced? What’s the appropriate length of marriage for sympathy?
No, I’ve never been divorced. I think ppl warrant compassion regardless of length of time of marriage, but it doesn’t mean the behavior shouldn’t be corrected or constructively criticized. Never saw Jason be a “dick” to her. Never heard him call her “damaged,” though I heard BF make sure that “she” said on camera that he had called her that during a fight. If true, that’s wrong also, but that one dig did not outweigh what I observed of her aggressive disrespect — IMO. Sad that their family is going through this. In a similar vein, we should be able to disagree w/o personal attacks.
Well played Disher, well played!
Really! The truth is – no one knows what goes on in someone else’s relationship. Only the 2 people in it know the truth – and that is often skewed by various elements. I wish everyone would leave her alone. Taking pot shots is easy when you can sit behind a computer screen somewhere, without anyone knowing what ugly things are going on in their life
If these folks didn’t put their engagement, pregnancy, wedding, marriage, fights and therapy on TV, enticing everyone to watch and join in — then I’d agree with @Joan. But, since they did…then, viewers have come to know quite a bit about the dynamics in the relationship, though certainly not all of the facts. When you put it out there on TV, you then take the good with the bad. Though, I think there is a way to express disagreement without getting mean and calling names.
Ain’t that the truth!!!
Maybe if Bethenny had treated Jason with respect instead of demeaning him on the show she would not be going thru this now.
I know, I often wonder did you she understand that she is forgetting he has been there for her all the time. We must understand that fame is a blessing and you do reap what you sow. She should try to work it out because he really loved her.
Maybe if Jason would had shown her some respect instead of his passive aggresive digs, things would had been better. It is obvious that most people fall for Jason’s act because that is all that was, he did however show his truly ugly side several times. As much as he was careful to be perceived as the perfect husband some of his comments were just way too harsh and the perfect mask slipped from time to time.
He threw the normalcy of his childhood on her face to remind her that she wasn’t “normal” that his way was the normal way to do things. According to whom? He thought his family was so wonderful (and I have no doubt that they are) that he wanted Bethenny to be part of it, Bethenny wanted a family of her own with Jason and Bryn and not an extension of Jason’s family. There was nothing wrong with Bethenny pointing out that she wanted to start traditions of her own, that is how newly weds do it most of the time and their families are conscious that when one marries, the dynamic of the family will change as well, tehe parents usually learn to respect that and give the new married couple plenty of time to start their own life. Jason wanted the dynamic of “his” family to remain without realizing that his new family was Bethenny and Bryn and his parents would have to adapt to that and not viceversa.
Divorce is always difficult, I am sure that Bethenny was difficult to live with but Jason already knew this when they met and dated for a year. Bethenny has always have this larger than life personality and it didn’t seem to bother her until she became rich.
I’m with you Diana. I always thought Jason was a bit whiny about his lack of success and suspect that there was a venomous tongue behind the “perfection” we saw on camera.
I love bethenny. Poor girl is a product of her environment and her upbringing. You could tell Jason’s happy family life was so strange to her. I’ve always loved her and always will!!!
Jason didn’t give Bethenny enough time to assimilate, he pushed his family way too hard, almost like a person who has been starving to death and suddenly is presented with an all you can eat buffet and is demanded to eat it all at once.
If Jason would had not been so resentful of her financial success, he would had understood that baby steps would had given him better results instead of forcing the issue and using his parents as a weapon in his arguments with her.
This is so one sided. Why does Jason have to give up his family for Bethenny? Bethenny has had a life time to fix her issues and she still has them. Bethenny is filing for divorce not Jason!
He doesn’t have to give up his family, as in parents , for good, he should have given his new family time to built a strong foundation first and then merge them but always understanding tha tthere is no way that his time would remained as it was when he was single.
The reason why people marry usually is to start their own family and that implies changing a lot of things from our single life. Jason has wonderful parents but they are not Bethenny’s parent and they never would had been, Bethenny’s relationship with them would had never been like the one Jason has with them. Bethenny might have felt like an outside looking from outside the glass and Jason instead of being understanding of this should had eased the transtiion, instead of that he used his parents to poin to her how normal he was and how “not normal” she was.
May they both move on, raise that girl right , and be happy.
If I could send Bethany a message it would be to tune out the haters. Twitter has gotten a heck of a lot worse because the crazies can now communicate with other crazies and spout their crazy theories and then attract more crazies.
I like Bethenny and I like Jason. I feel sorry for Bryn who will suffer the most. I think they just came from 2 different worlds and tried to make it work but couldn’t.
I actually like Bethany but do feel she got to big to fast. Jason seems to come from a small town with family values whereas she had nothing to bring to the table in that dept. I hope they both find suitable partners and are happy but most of all the Bryn is the number 1 prrority.
PS. TT, love the site and first time commenter
Thanks Chrissy!
I was home sick from work today and actually got to see Ellen’s show. I really feel for Bethenny. No one knows what she’s going through but her and Jason. I hope they will do the best they can to co-parent Bryn and show her she’s loved. You can’t ask for more than that – well, maybe compassion from the haters.
Divorce sucks. I wonder if she regrets airing so much of her life. It’s a catch 22. Everything she has is because of her being so open and transparent. Wish them all well. You never know. They might get back together when is her show coming back? I hope the divorce isn’t a means to grab viewers. U know these bravolebrites are stunt queens.
Would love it if they got back together!
I don’t really care much for Bethenny never really did, saw Ellen’s show too and I do feel for all of them involved especially their daughter. I think because Bethenny from what we have been told or led to believe from the shows (Housewives/Bethenny ever after) did not have a good relationship with her late father or mother and that certainly was eveident in the way she treated Jason and his parents. I still feel that she chose to put her life out there and is a attention seeker and not a real nice person but I don’t know her personally could be an act. I think Jason and Bryn are the real ones who loose .
It seemed very real on Ellen. She is very close with Ellen and talked about how she sobbed over the situation with Portia. She was very self deprecating and talked about how divorce made her feel like a failure.
She did seem very sincere I agree
I think her interview with Ellen was the right choice, who better than Ellen who is her friend to ease her thru the first interview. Sooner or later Bethenny had to give an interview and it is my belief that sooner than later is better.
I also read that this interview was schedule way in advance as Bethenny very frequently shows up there at least once a month. has she cancelled then the press would had started/ continue with their speculations.
As badly as I feel for the family, and all “directly” impacted by the divorce. I’m a bit reluctant to express how I really feel about this situation, since whenever a story about Bethenny comes out, it is ALWAYS followed up by some big announcement about a new skinny girl drink, talk show renewal, and/or book deal. You can always, always tell when something is about to happen career wise for Bethenny, simply by the stories that are posted..Am I jaded–a little. But I am also a realist, and I have to say, I lost a little respect for Bethenny when she made the announcement via Twitter about her divorce. Sure we’ve seen her life unfold on reality tv, but there are something’s that should remain secret, or at least until all the details have been ironed out. Furthermore, I found her comment about wanting the “fantasy” where her marriage to Jason was concerned just a tad ironic, especially since we all watched both her personal and professional life unfold right on a “Reality” show. just wanted to add my .20 cents.
Awww I love Her and I think she is such a good mommy! Sure Jason seems like a great guy and a perfect catch but Im assuming that a personality like Bethennys is not easy to deal with …so nobody really knows what goes on behind their closed doors and how he really copes with her crazy ways. He’s a simple calm guy and she’s the Tasmanian devil spinning circles around him. It would make me insane!
Divorce always sucks regardless of who’s at fault, especially when kids are involved. I wish only the best for them.
I think sometimes we forget they are real people with real issues just like the rest of us. I feel for her because I have issues with relationships too and I get it.
Bethenny should not have gone on ELLEN today. She should be out of the public eye completely. She should reconsider doing the talk show and throw herself into finding out what she really wants out of life.
so true. i used to like her, but more and more her show really turned me off to her. i really honestly think like she used jason to get a baby…. which she got. now she doesnt need him or his family anymore and i think that is why she pulled away. she should be thinking of her daughter and NOT gone on that show. she could have talked to ellen in private to get the support she needed.
You never know, they may work it out. They just need time to sort through it all!
YES Bethenny put her life on TV for entertainment, not for judgment .
Not to sound unsympathetic , When you sign up for a reality show and put yourself out there you are judged and people talk about you. Anyone who is on a reality show LOVES THE FAME or 15 minutes of it and the money!!!!! otherwiswe they would not do it. Example: Honey Boo Boo 15,000 an episode I would do it in a heartbeat for my family to live a better life. In a year or so people will forget and be watching something else. Remember the first reality shows like The Real World who even remembers what they did or look like and who cares . Money talks Bethanny is a multimillionare now
It has nothing to do with reality TV. People become obsessed/facinated with how other peoples lives. The same thing happens with actors/actresses, musicians, etc. At the end of the day, she is a person and she has problems just like everybody else. You can’t stop people from gossiping! However, people don’t have to send her rude comments to her twitter account! Bethenny does not owe us anything!
On one episode during the first season of BGM, she and Jason were sitting on a couch talking to a woman about the wedding details. The woman asked Jason who in his immediately family would be at the wedding. He said his parents and when she asked Bethenny, at first she just said no one. There was a long pause, and her emotions got the best of her. She was a wreck, it’s sobering realizing the people who should love you, don’t.
I get her, I have the same problem. My family is so dysfunctional I would seriously consider not inviting any of them to my wedding if I got married that late in life. I am 42 and I am just now getting that I’m not a bad person if I distance myself from the crazy. I have enough crazy, I don’t need theirs too. I am not as driven or successful as she is but my husband and I have made a good life for our children. My family all think I’m superficial and a bitch. I’m not and I have never been anything but loving and try to help them be better people. It was a huge waste of time. I now concentrate on my children and my husband’s family, who are wonderful and make up for it completely. One of a kind Mom-in Law and his siblings are like my own.
I feel very sad they couldn’t make it work. I wish Jason had participated in therapy, he would have learned better ways of coping with his feeling of insecurity due to her huge success. I also think he never got over the pre-nup. If he would have taken a second and thought about who she is and where she came from, he would have understood why she couldn’t trust him. I trust no one, not even my husband, I work on it and it is 100 times better than it used to be. I also tend to be very controlling, it’s because when you come from extreme dysfunction, you try to control your entire life because you are afraid something bad will happen and if you control it, it won’t. The thing is, and it took me years to figure it out, that bad things happen anyway and people will hate you no matter how good you are. In fact, BECAUSE you are good, some will hate you more.
I still have hope for them. Call me a romantic.
Very touching. Very real. Everything you said I can relate to. Namaste.
We are all more alike than we realize. Namaste to you too friend.
I felt for both of them and had no negative feelings whatsoever until she filed for primary custody with child support. There’s no reason Jason should be deprived of equal custody so it came across as she was using her daughter as a bargaining chip.
I never understand why people file for sole custody. That’s crazy to me. Is anyone thinking about the children?
I think filing for primary custody is standard. It doesn’t mean you will get it. it all has to be negotiated. When Jason submits his proposal, he will file for sole custody. I really hope they work it out.
She never filed for sole custody, she filed for primary custody, they are very different things
What not to do in a divorce – Deion and Pilar Sanders. Drama, Drama, Drama. Their children know what is going on and it is all over the local news.
I am not surprised by this, but it is sad whenever any marriage ends when children are involved.
I think if left to run it natural course as a relationship before she got pregnant, it would have just not lasted. They are too different.
One thing that always bothered me when watching the show was how enmeshed Jason was with his family. He had a very hard time separating the fact that once you are married your spouse is now your family and everyone else becomes extended family. The first year of marriage is hard enough, now add in a baby and add in in-laws who want to spend every weekend with you and you have a disaster. And as great as Jason appeared to be, in trying to keep his parents happy he was willing to sacrifice his wife and child. No baby/child is responsible for the happiness of adults. Yes it is sad his brother was killed in an accident, but that does not mean serving up your own child as a replacement.
I really think one of the reasons she wanted to move to CA was to get some distance between his family. When he proposed that his parents come to NY 2 weekends a month and they go to PA 1 weekend a month, I thought oh boy this will not end well. I thought Bethanny’s compromise of 1 weekend a month was plenty.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years and the biggest problems we have had in our marriage have been his info train to his parents. For the longest time he would involve them way too much in our lives and at times it did feel like 3 against 1. So for this I know how Bethany feels and has some compassion.
I am sure there is way more to their story, but that always jumped out at me when watching the show.
Also after seeing friends through divorces I have learned it is one big negotiation, so you always start out high because you will be negotiating down.
This is my first time commenting here. I was a big fan of Bethenny during the RHONY run and her Bethenny Getting Married. You could see a massive change in Bethenny Ever After where I stopped being a fan. That being said, I would never wish anything bad upon her (or anyone)and I do feel for her going through this divorce. But I applaud her taking ownership of how she put herself out there for the good times, she’s going to have to take her hits for the bad times. Jason (on the shows) is extremely likeable and comes off as a good man, great father and a loving husband, so kudos for her for realizing that and saying that she is prepared to deal with the good and the negative comments. I hate to see anyone in pain, and she clearly is in pain. I wish nothing but the best for her, Jason and especially beautiful little Bryn.
I think that Bethenny is just a mean person and has a bad habit of pushing people away from her but I personally relate to her. I’m marrying a man who is extremely close to his family & I totally understood why she needed his family to back off a bit so they could establish themselves as a seperate family & I feel horrible that it didn’t work out. Although we may have seen most of the bad times, those bad times were bad. She may have broken his spirit a bit & this may be for the best. I need a clear explanation as to why she wants child support from him tho…all that money you have!? I get that he made the child too but he’s not making your money. Stop being so greedy!!!!
Everyone loses here. Hopefully the ego and resentment can be cast aside in order to unselfishly co-parent the little girl.
On a positive note: who knows? maybe there will be a little brother or sister for Bryn in the future.
This is sad. They really love their daughter though, so I think they will successfully co-parent.
Bethany will never be happy with anyone. I get that she has family issues but Jasons family was in love with her and she always acted as if they were not sophisticated enough for her. They were nothing but loving kind and gentle to her and her fragile ego. Only a truly damaged person can find fault in doting grandparents. Most grandparents go overboard with the 1st grandchild. Only a damage person would find that unappealing. Jason will go on and find lasting love and happiness with someone who shares his same family values. Bethany is a DBR, damage beyond repair. After seeing her behavior no man in his right mind would every want a serious relationship with her. Men will just come and go.
Btw, from what I’ve seen Jason was never a jerk to her, he just didn’t bow down and kiss her butt when she was wrong. He stood up to her when she was out of line. That’s not being a jerk, its call not being a doormat because your spouse is the higher wage earner. Trust if the behavior was the same but the genders were reverse, people would have a different view. I guess her mother was right when said that marriage would not last and that Bethany was going to run Jason off because he was too weak. With that said, I like Bethany the Brand not the person.
DBR? You get that from watching her on tv?! That’s insane to me. How can you say you don’t like Bethenny the person when you don’t even know her. You know her brand, her tv personality. Unless you’re in her inner circle real life away from the cameras you don’t know Bethenny the person.
You are correct I don’t know her but Bethenny has always pride herself as being open and honest. Even during the HW’s reunion she criticized others for saying that the show edited them to make then look bad. She also said that even it came to her own depiction on the show it was all real. Even when she came off as bad she always owned it and never blamed it on editing.
From I saw was the Bethenny tolerated Jason’s parents but I don’t think she really liked them. It made me sad to watch because they loved Bethenny because Jason loved Bethenny. I would also feel sad when she talked about her horrible relationship with her own parents and how indifferent and dismissive they were to her growing up. My observation is that she treated her in-laws the same way. She seems to hate the fact that they were loving parents and grandparents almost like she was jealous or something. If Bethenny had her way Bryn would never see her grandparents.
Bethenny came across to me as emasculating to Jason. I remember Ramona even tell Bethenny that if she didn’t change that she would drive Jason away just like the other men in her life. Bethenny just stood there and looked stunned. She didn’t even have a snarky comment because she knew it was true. If there are people who don’t like you (her mother) tell you that you’re abrasive personality will drive men away, then the people who love you (Ramona) says the same, along with your own therapist then something is seriously wrong with you. I believe that Bethenny was treated horribly by her parents but I also believe that she will never be happy with anyone. I was a big fan of hers because I saw her as an underdog so when she got everything she (said) she wanted fame, fortune and family I was so happy for her and I wish her the best when it comes to her career.
WOW. So much for a more compassinate new year. I simply don’t understand the need to eviscerate someone because she has difficulties with trust and relationships.
I think showing compassion, for some, means they can relate to the person needing the compassion. It means they could have the same “weakness’, issue or whatever and people would see that!
We all know that would be a bad thing, having issues. /sarcasm
I consider myself a very comassionate person but Bethenney has a one way street with her woe is me stories. When Jason’s mom embraced her and went wedding shopping with her and wanted to add her as her new daughter B. acted happy. Truth be told – as shown at the Thanksgiving dinner – she found any of his family as unwelcome untruders. If she wanted to do better she would have called all of the people at the dinner and told them how sorry she was for her 2 year old temper tantrum. Instead, her therapist nods and gives her permission to be crazy and damaged. She uses those words when her behavior is unacceptable. I really really hope she will seek therapy with someone who will push her to do the work so she can get better. It would be a win if she could embrace a happy life with joy instead of dragging her past..some of which she has not be honest about…hopefully since she cares about her “brand” she will feel the pressure to “do the work”. I would be happy to see her happy.
I would be happy to see her really happy. Most people though have this crazy idea that she could have just stayed in the relationship and just pretend to be happy because Jason is such a great guy.
I have met a couple of Jasons in my life and let me tell you it is draining, they seem so perfect and the dream come true, but behind close doors they are nothing but. It takes time to really get to know them but when you do, it is surprising how different they are from the image they project.
One of them was my ex-fiance, everybody adored him, eveyrbody commented on how lucky I was, he could do not wrong, but behind doors he was a nasty racist, bigoted, elitist human being. I was surprised he could fake it so well and it bothered me when I called him on his crap several time and he would laugh it off as if it was me trying to pick up a fight, I realized that I couldn’t go on with such a person and broke of the engagement, at the beginning everybody blamed me, they found any excuse for him, the “you are so sensitive”, Where will you find such a great guy”, etc
The other one was my uncle, his wife would hide in the closets to cry so nobody would see her because he was the “patriarch” of the family, but with her he was an a&^hole.
I saw Jason as trying to portray the perfect image but more than once I caught him saying something completely cruel, something that even for a tough cookie like Bethenny made me cringe and I knew back then that it wasn’t going to last.
I actually think that Bethenny tried too long and too hard because of her public image, but now she is finally getting away from a situation that is way too toxic for her. As long as Bethenny is unhappy and depressed, she won’t be able to focus on Bryn, this is I think the ultimate reason why she filed for divorce, to be able to somehow regain control of herself and be happier for her daughter.
Jason and Bethenny probably would be able to get along just fine as coparents once the dust settles but right now they need to get this divorce over with and Jason moved out of the house.
no, she should not have pretended to be happy just to keep the marriage alive. MAYBE, just MAYBE she should not have gotten pregnant before she got married AND maybe she should not have rushed the marriage.
@ Tamara….I think her issues only become relevant when she uses them to eviscerate others…..LOL
I’m glad they are over….he ALWAYS look so miserable….maybe he can find the happiness he OBVIOUSLY is missing in THIS relationship.
2013 Compassion FAIL!
Well are u going to change the tune of ALL your topics to be sweet. I thought blogs were for difference of opinions. Everyone will be in love with the post. That Bethanny article was too darn sappy. They are both at fault, but she does not do normal. Jmo
Well I for one, don’t see the point in trying to emotionally eviscerate someone going through a divorce. I also tire of reading nasty things about EVERY SINGLE PERSON I blog about. I’d like us all to be a bit nicer in 2013. That doesnt mean you dont get to have opinions. It does mean that if you sit on your high horse and berated people in multiple comments you might be gone from here. If that is a problem there are TONS of hate blogs out there. Feel free to google them. We are trying to have light hearted fun mocking bravolebrities in a playful way MOST of the time and going in where needed. It’s my blog and that’s how it works here. Like I said there are a shitload of angry bitter people with blogs out there, I am just not the one if that is what you are looking for.
I don’t berate anyone only posted several times, but your articles were truthful with
correct information. If me saying what I said is being ugly or rude—that wis not my intent. I tend to tell it like I see it. Bethanny is damaged goods n she does not want help or a family. She is too selfish–her mother was correct. Nor if you don’t want me to post on your site. Block me and I’m gone. Thank you for all the good tea on the ATL.
Mary S.
In a perfect world, yes, she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant before getting married, but that boat has sailed. BTW Bethenny didn’t want to get married, she wanted to do it after giving birth, Jason wanted to do it ASAP .
I think if Bethenny would had followed her guts and waited until after Bryn was 1 or 2 years old before tying the knot, she never would had. She would found out that they were too different. Bethenny wanted a very small wedding, Jason’s family and few of her friends, but Jason insisted that he wanted something bigger so he could include all of his friends, fine. Bethenny agreed to please Jason.
But if you remember correctly, Jason left Bethenny by herself to deal with all the planning, being 7 months pregnant and having to do all of it, he couldn’t even bother himself to pay attention away from his game when Bethenny was asking him about the menu.
They are in essence two very different people, Bethenny is a go getter and Jason, well he is not, nothing wrong with it as it takes all kind of people to make the world go round, but in this relationship Jason is the one who has driven the car usually, he asked her out, he pursued her, he insisted on moving in with her, he propose, he wanted the big wedding and got it, he was afraid she would run away even the day of the marriage, in his quiet ways Jason has been the driver of the marriage, but yet now that it of course, he refuses to take any responsibility for any of it.
I don’t excuse Bethenny from her obvious flaws, she after all is a fighter and didn’t know when to turn the pilot light on, but she is not the only responsible for this divorce. Jason has his fair share too, trying to villify Bethenny for what one of every two married woman will experience in their own lives is to me very one sided.
Hind sight is 20/20. If Bethenny did not want to get married, she would not have. The fact is they did not know each other as well as they thought. I am sure both of them thought they could make changes and adapt. Apparently, the differences are to great! Sometimes it is just better to move on. Bryn will not continue to be happy, if her parents are miserable!
It’s interesting. I have read here for many, many months and never responded or even desired to respond. Until now. I first want to establish that I have watched Bethenny for many years- from RHONY to “Bethenny is getting married”,” Bethenny Ever after”, etc.. I have always appreciated her honesty and transparency. I haven’t always agreed with her choice of language ( ^%$#!!!) and even how she did treat Jason and his family, BUT to hear and see someone willing to be completely honest and vulnerable, someone willing to say, ” Look, this is me. The good, the bad, the ugly, or even the crazy… this is me” was refreshing. I, too, came from an extremely painful/damaged/abusive childhood. I also spent many, many, many years trying to find healing from that type of rejection/abandonment/pain. It’s not easy but I know many of us (unfortunately) have been there. We all handle those scars a little differently- some of us try to be a “people pleaser” because we never want to feel rejection again… Some of us become “runners’ Because we never trust anyone that attempts to get near us emotionally, and some of us engross ourselves into work/business/children, etc.. thinking those things will bring about the ultimate change/healing. “REALITY” is… we are all damaged. All of us… Even those that came from seemingly “normal/healthy” families have some sort of pain- even if it’s nothing more than our parent’s doting/protecting us that caused us to be in a “bubble” and never experience the reality of pain, rejection, heartache. We leave their home and enter the “REAL” world and suddenly find that this world is a flawed world. We can’t maintain that bubble. So regardless if you are the “Jason” that grew up with wonderful, caring parents ( and no doubt they are) or if you are the “bethenny” who endured rejection, heartache, abandonment, dysfunction in your forming years… we all can relate to one ( and even strangely, both) of them.
I have grace and understanding towards her because I know the pain of the kind of upbringing she had. I know how it forms/shapes/ influences so much of your life later on and how difficult it is to “rewire” your mind about what is true, verses what is not. I totally get that.
Equally, there is nothing wrong with how Jason was raised- he had the amazing fortune of having two wonderful, loving, stable, caring parent’s that gave him a place of safety, comfort, and security. He is not wrong for having that. He is BLESSED to have that.
I think we are all (reading through the comments) almost taking side here with which one of them we relate to. Reality is, I think it’s very possible that BOTH of them tried, and tried hard to give and do their best in this relationship. Maybe Bethenny didn’t always speak to him with the respect most of us would have… Maybe Jason didn’t always comfort and be as patient as those of us that are “damaged’ needed. BUT it’s possible, both gave and did the very best that they had to give.
We don’t have to demonize either one or chose a side here. It’s not OUR decision that they will live with. It’s their’s. It’s not our consequences that they live with, it’s their’s. Thankfully, God is gracious to us all. I think we need to extend that same grace to these two. Instead of taking sides (“Team Jason” etc…), how about we pray for them? Both of them. How about we pray for their daughter? Instead of talk of who should get custody of her. I think if any of us are to make an err in judgement, it’s always best to err on the side of grace. Thankfully, that is what our Creator has done for us. All of us “flawed/damaged” folks. So the only team I am for in this situation is TEAM GRACE.