GG and Omid go out for drinks. It’s a date. GG seems happy and laughing around Omid. Ooops. Omid just said that he was at the party last night with all of GG’s friends and she is now in bitch mode. Omid is filling GG in on the details (for the camera, this is probably the third take).  GG actually looks great. And cut!

Reza is out with his mother. His mother hates the mustache. I think he would look better without it. His mom is trying to tell Reza he needs to be more mature now that he is turning 40 (he says 39). Reza’s mother says she likes MJ and Reza explains that he is pissed at MJ because she did not abandon her friendship with GG when he and GG were fighting. Well he makes it seem like GG just attacked him and he was the innocent victim in whatever went on between them. Somehow I doubt that. Reza’s mother says that Reza expects too much from his friends and that he needs to make up with MJ.  Reza should listen to his mother.

At MJ’s house, she is planning her own birthday party. She’s asking everyone to bring a single guy instead of a present. This is a fabulous idea! I may do this for my next birthday! Okay, probably not, I am over the whole party vibe. Perhaps I’ll just buy myself a stripper.

Reza and Mike are doing headshots for their bromance/partnership. I assume that this will be for their business cards. During the photoshoot, they conveniently open the birthday E-vite. Reza asks if he should just roll in there like nothing happened. Um, dude, MJ tried that at Tehran’s party and you had a gay hissyfit about it and blew her up in front of everyone. 

GG is home drinking alone upset that her “friends” are talking about her behind her back. She says it’s so juvenile. Yes, GG you are all juvenile. All of you.  MJ calls GG and they talk about what happened at the party. GG asks about Lilly and MJ says that. “in about five minutes Lilly is going to be shipped back to the welfare line that she was standing in before she decided to invade my life.”  MJ says she called to tell her that she is having a birthday party but she is not inviting GG because of her propensity for violent outbursts in party situations. GG freaks out because Asa is invited and she is not. MJ is trying to show Reza and Asa that she supports them in the GG war. GG flies into a drunken rage and hangs up several times.

Eww. It’s Lilly. Time for a bathroom break.

At MJ’s house, she’s sadly made yet another poor choice in dresses. I am going to have to get my girl a stylist. Sammy shows up at MJ’s with no man for MJ. Tehran shows up with two, so it’s all good. Apparently everyone is gathering at MJ’s to catch the birthday mobile.  Asa arrives with no mangift either. Come on Asa, you know you could bring someone!  Asa says she wants to start fresh with MJ. Mike shows up WITH a mangift. This really is an awesome idea. Omid arrives. No mangift. GG is going to go NUCLEAR when she finds out he went and she did not. Do you think production told MJ not to invite GG? Here comes  Reza who hugs Sammy like a long lost lover despite the fact that those two don’t really care for each other much. Reza, brings no mangift. I’d like to point out that the people without mangifts are not carrying presents either. What happened to the “Persian” rule of never showing up empty-handed? Reza says he is going to try to be polite. I say he does some jackhole thing before they even get to the party bus.

Tehran is playing Dating Game host with the three mangifts. One is definitely winning! MJ walks in and they sing an Iranian birthday song. Then off they go on the party bus! Mike promises to get MJ laid. MJ is nervous. She’s also wearing nude shoes. God I hate nude shoes. MJ starts to get drunk loosen up on the bus and dances with some of the guys. Reza is being nice and doing a complete 180 in his talking heads.  Mike plays his therapist role. Which seems to make things worse. Reza goes into his I love you always but sometimes I don’t like you routine and MJ teaches us a new Iranian word. “Chert’ means bullshit. I can now cuss in I think 11 languages and order beer in 7. Go me! MJ says to take that chert to his fake Chanel bag contessa. MJ is drunk and mood swingy. The conversation ends on the upswing. Mike talks about going to Mexico with the gang, which I of course exclusively revealed here in August. And another Lilly scene. Fast forwarding. Editing sucks on this show. They play music over conversations. I can’t understand what anyone is saying when they do that. For real. I have a hard time separating sounds. This is why I don’t like to talk in bars with music. I can’t understand what anyone is saying. /end personal disclosure.

At MJ’s party, the men are forcing MJ and one of the bachelors off to take a walk at the beach. Dude is cute, 6’3″ and also suffers from wardrobe problems. I don’t dislike the red pants, they were sort of on trend at the time of filming but the leather vest over a t-shirt is a no, and the fact that the red jeans are spandexy and he has been wearing them awhile before washing them makes them saggy in the ass. I bet he looks great nekkid though, so…/shrugs.

Back at the party, Sammy tries to stay relevent by dragging Asa and Reza over to Omid to try and get a cease fire on the GG war. Omid says GG is a good girl who cares about them. Asa in her talking head wonders why Omid is bringing GG up because no one is think about her. Reza tells Omid that their has to be repercussions for her behavior. I think we all agree with that. Asa says that it’s been four weeks and she hasn’t heard a word from GG. Wait four weeks of filming has gone by in two episodes? Either we are about to get some super shady editing or they filmed a lot of evergreens during that time.

MJ and red pants are on a lifeguard stand overlooking the ocean. He is laying it on thick. MJ is fucking everything up because of her anxiety with men. The guy seems cool but MJ is afraid. He’s cute and romantic and Persian! Come on MJ.

Back at the party, when MJ returns Reza and Asa carry out the cake singing the Persian version of happy birthday. Mubarak something or another. For not being Arabs they sure do have a similar language. Birthday Mubarak, MJ Joon!

The next day MJ and Reza get together to talk. Reza starts with “My problem with you is that…” sigh.  It’s all about GG sending out a mean mass email calling Reza all sorts of bad things that I won’t recount here. THIS IS MJ’s fault, why? I’ve said it before. If you have a circle of friends and two are going after each other, the smart thing to do is not to take a side. Remain friends with both and stay out of it. That’s exactly what MJ did. Reza is already cozying up to GG again for whatever reason but he is still mean tweeting things about MJ. That’s jackholish behavior Reza. MJ did not trash you, she even excluded GG from her party to please you. You are wrong and she is right.  By the way, in Reza’s talking heads, he has Andy Cohen wonky eye. What’s up with that? MJ is apologizing profusely. They cry and hug. Reza swears that nothing will come between their bond. OH MY GOD. In Reza’s talking head he says, “Someone might ask me why I still love MJ…” REALLY? Are you serious Reza? This someone wonders why MJ still loves you. I saw no apology for YOUR behavior at Tehran’s party. Reza is talking about the storyboard of his life and how magnanimous he is for making up with her. BLECK.

Next week they gang goes to the Mexican Riviera. Lilly is a party pooper. Asa goes in on MJ. Looks like a fun time.