If the housewives selling shapewear and being brand ambassadors for sugary wines and flavored vodkas isn’t bad enough, now we have their mommas and husbands selling coffee. Mama Elsa has had some sort of online spin-off on Bravo for a while now. I haven’t watched it. I hate the Bravo video viewer. She also has her own website where she hawks “Cuban coffee” for six bucks a bag. The website describes Havana Elsa coffee as “Comprised from the highest quality of rich coffee beans derived from Africa, Central America and South America, Havana Elsa combines the perfect balance of ingredients to generate a full, flavorful and smooth premium blend.The coffee beans are finely ground and blended to ensure optimal flavor extraction and freshness. The signature trademark of this savory espresso is the delicious sweet crema (cream) that makes every cup the ultimate experience.” There is no mention of the type of beans used. The bag just says it’s 100% coffee. I’m assuming it’s robusta since it’s an expresso blend. Oh, you can also get Mama Elsa ringtones at her site. I dunno what that’s about.
But Mama Elsa has a competitor in the java market….
Peter Thomas has his own website hawking his special Jamacian coffee blend. Unlike Mama Elsa’s website which basically just says buy this bag of expresso, Peter has a more coffee focused site. You can buy a bag of Jamacian Blue Mountain coffee for fifteen dollars. Or you can buy Peter’s special blend that is described as “An exquisite blend of the finest Jamaican Rum with our gourmet bean delivers a wonderful aroma with a smooth taste. A perfect combination of Arabica beans roasted to optimum perfection. Selected by Peter himself as his personal brew of choice. This blend brings your taste buds to Peter’s home on the island of Jamaica with its signature Jamaican rum ﬂavor. Our beans are carefully roasted with the combination of real white Jamaican Rum for the perfect barONE after drink.” That blend will set you back seventeen bucks a pound. It sounds good to me. I’m a slow eater though so if I were to go to barONE to try it, I’m sure the timer on my table would expire before I could enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee after dinner. Which reminds me, Peter tweeted just the other day a reminded that children are not welcome at barONE because it’s only for the sexy people.
So who is going to volunteer to taste test the coffees for us? My guess is Peter’s is probably pretty good.