The LONGEST RHOM REUNION RECAP EVER!

Andy is so vain he thinks this reunion show is about him.

Andy is so vain he thinks this reunion show is about him.

Can you believe it is already time for the Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Show? I am so ready to see how this all goes down and what jewelry Lea rented for the show. Well, Lea said she borrowed over a million dollars worth of diamonds and they do not disappoint. I would not want to be the buyer after she got her bad energy all over them though. I’d have to have Mama Elsa do a cleansing with chicken feet and sage and maybe a handful of rice.

Andy is obsessed with plastic surgery so he wastes lots of time talking about that. He asks who has had it and every hand goes up. Marysol talks about her mother’s bad plastic surgery. She had an eye job go horribly wrong and some silicone injections during a time when doctors didn’t know what they were doing. The silicone can’t be undone.

RHOMJoannaseethroughtopOn to Joanna and Romain, Joanna explains that her mother got them back together by telling her to not keep bringing up the emails where Romain told one of the mostly nude dancers at his club he  was going to be with her by the end of last year. She spoke to the girl and she said nothing happened. Joanna is delusional because, Chile please, the side piece will say whatever, they don’t care they are the ones getting the sex.  Let’s see if anyone tell her that. Lisa says it seems fishy. Wow, Lisa used to be team Joanna, I wonder what happened there.  Adriana says it’s all a publicity stunt and they made up two days before the reunion. Adriana points out that if Joanna doesn’t have Romain she has no reason to hang out in Miami. (Joanna actually lives in LA so she can be closer to the object of her extreme hatred, Kim Kardashian with whom she is utterly obsessed.) Adriana calls Joanna an alcoholic and we are off to the races! Yay!  Adriana reiterated to Andy that Joanna is an alcoholic and a mental case. Adriana says that Joanna called US Weekly and told them that she was breaking up with Romain.  She also gave exclusive interviews to any blog that would have her. Don’t ask me how I know this. Even the rebloggers had “exclusives.” Joanna says Adriana is just jealous because she gets all the press and she doesn’t.  Adriana rightly points out that Joanna goes to dinner without a bra in a see through top to get publicity. Joanna pretends to cry and retells the story of her mother getting her and Romain back together. Then Adriana …well she sort of reenacts that scene for RHOA last season where Marlo and Sheree started that speaking in tongues thing and Nene had to come in and douse them with holy water. Only there is no Nene, there is just Andy Cohen, and he is sitting there slack-jawed while Adriana makes fake crying noises while saying “Honey Boo Boob” over and over in her Spanish accent. Joanna is calling Adriana evil. Adriana screams, “crocodile tears!” at Joanna and then Andy interjects to say…..that he wants to hear from Karent on the issue? Really Andy?

RHOMkarentSo Karent says that the only person who was known and in the tabloids before the season began was Joanna. This seems very important to Karent. Adrianna says Karent is brown-nosing. Then Adriana says that Karent licks Joanna’s asshole everyday. (Not making this up!) Andy is laughing and I am wondering where this Adriana has been all season. Is she on the chopping block if they pull off a season three? Adriana is all in on this reunion.  Andy asks Joanna if not having sex was an issue. Joanna says Romain is not generally all that into sex.  BWAHAHAHA! Really? He needs to go into the world book of records as the only Latin nightclub owner in Miami who is asexual. Adriana says that Joanna is not the only pussy in Miami and that Romain is just worn out by the time they are together. Hey, I was just saying that! Joanna is mad at Lisa who was supposed be on her side (Joanna has the Reza mentality). Apparently, Adriana said mean things on twitter and Joanna expected Lisa to jump in a defend her. Um, hello? Why don’t people understand that when you are in a group of people and two people get into it that the smart thing to do is try to get the two to reconcile on their own, but other than that stay the fuck out of it? Nine times out of ten the warring parties will reconcile and if you have chosen one over the other, then your relationship with the one not chosen is fucked. Everyone just needs to stay in their own lane! Lea has grown bored and wants airtime so she is suddenly fake crying about how hard it is to support either woman. Lea could care less about any woman on the stage. Lea wants camera time.

RHOMreunionsmallAndy asks Karent about her fake relationship with Rodolfo. She says they are not together. And Lord have mercy the women of Miami can fake cry on a damn dime! Karent is doing the fake cry with no tears and Joanna and Lisa both reach over to comfort her.  I don’t think Lisa understands that the relationship with Rodolfo was fake. She’s a bit too…um…trusting bless her heart. Karent changes the subject to her dear old Dad…who is doing better. So Andy asks Ana about Rodolfo texting her. Ana says Rodolfo is a simpleton who wants to be the Mexican Slade (from RHOOC) lol. Oh Ana, how I love you. I can see you have prepped for this reunion like the lawyer you are. Where did the tearless Karent get tissue? Andy asks her why if everyone is saying Rodolfo is a douchebag (I paraphrase) that Karent continues to be a fool? Karent’s response has to do with her best defense mechanism being her smile. Yes, I am aware that makes no sense.  Oh, here comes Lea for a look at me and my million dollars worth of diamonds moment, I have to have airtime to wear all this!  Lea says, “Well also looking back I didn’t realize how egregious THEY were about belittling you until I saw it.” Um, Lea? Seriously? You were the one goading Alexia into to confronting her. Lea continues, “they got so much glory out of having you sit there and suffer.” Holy Shit Lea! That is your storyline for every episode of the show!  Stir the shit and sit back and cackle in your talking heads as it all goes down. Are you on crack?

Ana asserts an objection. She is unsure why Lea is “blowing sunshine up Karent’s ass.” Me too girlfriend. Meanwhile, Karent now has her hand resting on Lea’s knee. Lisa is covering her mouth. I am giggling. Ana rightly points out that Lea has trash talked Karent from day one. Lea says, “that is something you can never prove.” Does Lea not understand that we see her on the damn TV? And that we don’t buy any of her con games? Lea is now explaining that she told Karent that she trashed talked her but that she likes her now. Ana wants Karent to tell us what flavor the Lea Kool-Aid is. Is it grape flavored? Is there a little Geritol in it? Oh how I love Ana, did I mention that yet?  Lea says that,” mean, nasty and  petty will never be the new relevant!”  Ana says, “OMG this woman will never be relevant, she is not even relevant at home!” For whatever reason, this sends Lea over the moon and she start trash talking the crap out of Anna complete with neck rolling and finger-pointing. Lea is ranting that Ana’s husband could not wait to get rid of her. She makes a comment about how Ana needs to take care of some banking business. Lea is howling like a hit dog.

RHOMreunionanaAndy wants to move on. Andy says that “Lea managed to stay above the fray.” Apparently, even Andy doesn’t watch RHOM. He does go on to say that she seemed to enjoy all the drama and is an instigator. (So maybe he does watch). So he plays a retrospective of her passive aggressive shit stirring followed by cackling. Lea is defensive and talking in that voice that reminds me of her impersonator who tended bar on WWHL that one night. It makes my vocal chords ache just hearing it. Lisa says that she found Lea’s remarks offensive and that Lea disregarded her and that she is mean-spirited.  But Lisa likes her now. Ana jumps in to laugh at the nickname Bravo gave Lea as “Mayor of Miami” and it’s true no one knew who she was before the show. That is Lea’s raison D’etre (excuse my poor French) for being on the show. Ana saMMys that Lea used to “peddle cold creams from the back of her Pinto in Waco Texas” and that her problem with her is that she does not back down to her. Lea stands up to repsond and Ana says, “sit down, I dont want you to break a hip!” and Lea tells Andy that Ana is making gratuitious digs and Andy is all like, “Can dish it out but cant take it?” (I paraphrase.) LOLOLOL. Andy tells Lea to have two seats (again paraphrasing) and Lea does a dramatic repose on the fainting couch.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this picture of MarysolAndy wants to discuss the feud between Lea and Marysol. Andy says that lots of people think that Marysol is not defending herself on the benefit issue. Marysol says that until they got to Bimini, Lea had never said a thing to her about it. Lea says that is not my memory. Marysol says that Lea is trashing her business after all of the charitable work she has done for her.Lea says “You call it trashing I call it holding you accountable.” I call it never being able to work with the best PR firm in Miami again, Lea but carry on with your bad self. Marysol is for real crying because Lea trashes her company on television. It’s heartbreaking and wrong. Lea Black is a scumbucket. Marysol was doing free work for her charity and this is just wrong. Oh they have tissue available behind them how convenient Bravo!  Andy is trying to help Marysol. Andy is tries to point out how the red carpet incident is damaging to Marysol and Lea blows it away. Ana tries to defend Marysol, in kind of a weird way. I’m confused if Marysol and Ana are even friends anymore.  A “viewer comment” /eye roll asks if Adriana is on Lea’s payroll because she never says anything bad about her. Adriana says no she has known Lea for seven years and their sons are best friends. Lea helps people when they need it. Has she said things to hurt me yes. But she helped me when I needed it. Back to Ana saying that Lea is some little woman from Texas who has had the help of a lot of men. Lea claims that Ana is assassinating her character and that “for someone who puts that much attention on my life you should be putting that attention on yours!” Ana goes through her personal history as a self-made woman and adds… “I’ve raised two incredibly smart daughters who are not socially awkward.” Um.. Ana. You should have stopped at “incredibly smart daughters.” Dayum. Ana goes further saying that Lea has done all her best work on her back. Which is probably true. Lea jumps up and says, ” You keep spreading your lies about me and I am going to start spreading the truth about YOU!” As her borrowed million dollar diamonds sparkle.  Damn those are some nice diamonds… um what was I saying? Oh yeah, I’m team Ana despite the low blow.

Andy wants Lea and Marysol to fake make-up for the cameras. It ain’t going to happen again.

Andy wants to talk about Adriana “beating her to the tweet.” The point was, that Adriana was with her art mentor. I get it Adriana. Karent has no idea about art and she was being a twitter whore at your event. Most people understand. It was sort of a big deal.

Andy asks Joanna if she remembers her drunken rants. She says she sort of does. She says both her mother and Romain tell her not to drink. Adriana goes over all the things her loved ones say about her when she drinks in an attempt to point out that Joanna is an alcoholic and…Adriana says about Joanna “In Vino Veritas” (In wine is truth). There is a long retrospective about Joanna’s drinking. Joanna blows it off. Joanna says Adriana is angry when she is sober.Andy shows some clips of Adriana and asks if her mouth gets her in trouble even though she is generally sober. Adriana smiles nervously and says yes. Joanna tries to say something and Adriana says, at least I can think. Heh. Marysol loves Adriana. Andy said that some people were offended by what Adriana said about Polish people and Adriana says, well, ya know I was offended when Joanna said to go back to the slums of Rio. Touche. Point Adrianna. Adriana says that she was quoting Joe Francis when he said he put Joanna on the TV on his Girls Gone Wild videos. Much talk about the Brazilian and Polish communities.  Joanna says that Romain”has friends” who grew up in the slums of Brazil and he thinks the slums are too good for Adriana. REALLY? Joanna? could you dig a bigger grave if I gave you a shovel? Take a seat.Adriana says that is a very racist thing to say. Karent is laughing madly. Adriana is preaching about “the slums of Rio” where there are hard working women who don’t open up their legs to men to move forward in life. Romain is a racist. Adriana says Joanna is retweeting racist  tweets.

Dear GOD does this show never end? Now it is Lisa’s lingerie party. The battle between Adriana and Joanna continues. The funny part is how Joanna continues to call Adriana scum. She knows she was trashed and hunted Adriana down but she continues to defend herself. After the break Andy says that Adriana said that she didn’t hit Joanna. Adriana says she was leaving and Joanna tracked her down. Adriana is going in on the Pole for saying she says she talks Spanglish so she called her Hoanna. heh. Hoanna is pissed.

Next time the whole Hoanna gets served even more. Alexia and Mama Elsa take to the couch and Lea looks like even more of a cunt for going after Alexia. Stupid bitch.

 

 

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146 Comments

Filed under Adriana de Moura, Alexia Echevarria, Ana Quincoces, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM, Roy Black, Uncategorized

146 responses to “The LONGEST RHOM REUNION RECAP EVER!

  1. Vp

    Adrianna came off as a wack job. But in an annoying way, not like Ramona (which is what I think she was aiming for, the “I say what’s in my mind”). More like Kray Kray Kelly.

    • I disagree. Everything Adrianna said was true. And funny. And intelligent.

      • Vp

        Only she can cry that she’s the victim after she hits someone. That was nuts. And the “racists” tweets? “Light overcomes dark” is racist towards her? She’s got a persecution complex.

      • bsbfankaren

        If Joanna hadn’t followed her and attempted to stop her after she disengaged and walked away, she wouldn’t have been hit. Joanna has to start taking responsibility for her alcoholism.

      • I agree CeeCee, Adriana was Amazing! Especially when Hohanna, kept trying to throw shade,and Adriana simply batted right back to her! You’ve been served style!

      • Thank You!
        Adriana spoke on Mothers in the slums of Rio being “hard working women who don’t lay down for a man for money”. I clapped so hard, because I’ve always heard that Russian women and the surrounding countries have been know for over sexualizing their female children. Shipping woman to the united stated for “mail-order-marriages” . I applaud Adriana for explaining to JoAnna the difference between a real woman who will work for what she wants instead of clinging to a wealthy man simply to gain wealth. JoAnna definately had some demons in her closet, and I bet she slept with all of them.

      • backporchcafe

        But at the same time, this is also an issue in Brasil; my best friend (black Brasilian) does outreach work here in Germany working with Brasilian prostitutes in her church and the drive for money or wanting to escape life there”by any means necessary” is pretty disheartening; she made a trip to do missionary work this past spring and women (I beleive she said in the North) are selling themselves for very little, whether they are actually working girls or not. I myself working in the fashion industry as a stylist/editor in Europe have sometimes had the misfortune of encountering a sister from Brasil during one of my castings, and the behaviors are so grossly inappropriate on behalf of the girls towards the men on the team—it’s a sticky situation where you don’t want to bust them out to their modeling agencies and get them kicked out on their asses and possibly having to to resort to “other things” to survive—but by the same token, the lack of professionalism to the point of making it clear that they want to stay and wait for one of the men…it’s a trip…it’s a bad, bad, look that reinforces the stereotype that Brasileras get ahead by laying on their back…ultimately I think women in many countries around the world have it hard and using sex and seduction as a means of survival is a very real very multi-cultural/geographical problem whether it’s the Samba dancers here in Europe selling sex on the side until they can land a rich gringo, or those child slave prostitutes in India, Nepal, the Phillipines, Eastern Europe you name it. Nobody wins in this situation, regardless of what country their from, and neither of these girls were right to put each other’s country down (although the target wasn’t really in a sexual context, but more about economic class, IMO)—was just wrong all the way around….

      • no name maddox

        i agree teecee

      • anonymous

        I would like to know where the hell is backporchcafe’s periods after her sentences!

    • What in the HELL are you people talking about???? You make no sense and are completely off topic.

      • backporchcafe

        We were talking about Adriana and Joana taking digs at each other because of where they each come from. My reply was to the post that sort of implied because Joana was from eastern Europe she was more apt to lean towards prostitution to get ahead, and my point is that the same thing happens in Brasil, and God knows how many other countries…and that both ladies were wrong for belittling each other period. We got caught up in sidebar conversation, not more, not less, really.

      • anonymous

        More periods and less comma’s PLEASE!!

      • dinnertalk

        I like the points you bring up, backporchcafe. It too made me uncomfortable when Adriana (and I generally love me some Adriana) sort of implied that Polish/Eastern European women “lie on their backs” to get ahead, as that’s an offensive stereotype… But I’m not sure Adriana was attempting to stereotype Polish/Eastern European women; I kind of felt that she was just trying to get a little dig in there for Joanna, more personally than culturally. Either way, I appreciated your points. It is important to remember that in more oppressed, misogynistic, patriarchal cultures there is an abundance of sticky situations — women having to resort to all kinds of “means” to financial “ends”. It doesn’t mean they aren’t still human beings. They’re just struggling for financial security in whatever way they can manage in an oppressive and economically challenging culture. I personally feel that it’s wrong to demonize people in really rough situations, and it ought to be recognized that this happens across MANY borders and cultures. Anyway, just a long-winded thanks for putting that viewpoint out there.

  2. Ms Urethra Franklin

    Damn these ladies were vitriolic nasty tonight.
    .
    I think it was the first time I heard Marysol dropped a F bomb.
    Ana was throwing them low blow curve balls, HARD & FAST.
    What was up with Adriana’s mouth/teeth? Something was off/different about her face tonight besides the injections.
    Adrianna was rapid fire rabid too. She was on fire.

    Loved loved loved all the “HoAnna’s” thrown around.
    Leah, did I hear you say 25 Million for your jewelry?
    I completely forgot about Alexia until I saw preview of next week’s episode.

    • DJ

      Leah said that the earrings were 25 million. Andy didn’t ask her about the rest of the jewelry.

      • bsbfankaren

        It made me think the earrings weren’t real. I didn’t realize she said the jewelry was borrowed, since it seemed to me that she made it seem like they were her’s. Her husband is wealthy, but he ain’t THAT wealthy!

      • DJ

        I didn’t hear her say that the earrings were borrowed, but I thought the same thing that you did – Roy Black “ain’t got” that kind of money!

  3. Lea had borrowed 100 M of jewelry she mentioned it a lot on twitter. But I am so fucking pissed that Karent goes in on Alexia about her kid who nearly died next week. She fake cried over her own fucking dad tonight about “what is important” and Alexia’s kid is nearly killed in a car accident and in intensive care and she goes in on that? WTF?

    • Ms Urethra Franklin

      Karent is in my top 5 annoying HW of all the franchises…

    • Loucinda G

      I do love Lea for that one! It takes connections and credit to borrow that! She is like Lisa from RHOBH to RHOM. Karent is just not relevant. A dentist that needs PR… gimme a break. Ana was throwing some low blows true and going on and on about being self- made. Everyone up there had some form of plastic surgery so to say “self-made” is hypocritical. LOL. Adrianna is loyal to Lea and I like how she put it out there. This woman had her back when no one else did or could and she will never forget that. Mama Elsa keeps MArysol relevant because viewers love to look at her face. She should of never started surgery she was gorgeous.

      • DJ

        What does plastic surgery have to do with being self-made? Ana was talking about her accomplishments in life and how she earned them on her own rather than just marrying for money.

      • Oh no… PULEEEESSSE don’t compare Lea to Lisa Vanderpump!(@ Loucinda G.) That is so not right. I can’t imagine Lisa V. being so vile and wanting all the cameras always on herself. Nor can I imagine her screeching in that dreadful high pitched voice of hers. Oh Lea hurts my head. I put the *captions* on my tv and mute Lea now. I just can’t take that voice of hers. I gotta stop watching this show. I get tensed up and nervous over all this bickering and most are so God damned mean! Tamara your blog was spot on and I am with you on your opinion on all those women from the show. I love the description The Wacko from Waco! That is clever and hysterically funny. I want to punch her in the throat the minute she opens her pie hole and I am not by nature a violent person. Kyle on Beverly Hills pisses me off in the same way and Jill Zaein used to also when she was on. I know Bravo wants the drama and all but sometimes the hateful viciousness makes me feel quesy. I may stop watching the show mext season. I was on Bravo blogs from the ladies just a minute ago and Lea is the only one (of course) with her nonsensical *be true to yourself* bullshit blog current and up and running. I am stunned that we are in the minority and most of the fans adore Lea. I guess I am just shocked they could be so hood-winked by this legend in her own mind woman. Andy will keep her as long as she has this many fans despite her BS. Look how they kept Theresa and even raised her pay. Other than Jill whom everyone hated Andys favs seem to be the vipers of the show. Although he did call Lea out a couple times. I know they are the ones that get people fired up with their drama and all but I hate mean people. I would run like hell from all but a couple of these ladies. They are too frigging vicious for this small beach town girl from Florida. Thanks for a great blog Tamara. I can’t wait for next week when you post your latest comments. Oh one more thing, the comments on here are so much fun and so much better to read compared to the Bravo ones. Most of these people sound intelligent and witty and I enjoy reading them here. They give me even ore insight. Most of the comments on Bravo sound like stupid immature fourteen year olds that name call when you don’t agree with them. Again. great post!

    • I thought the same thing, I waited to see if I saw a tear and No, Nothing. I even think Andy knows Karents phony. Did you see Karent on WWHL, Andy wasn’t buying any of her excuses.

    • Joan

      Hoping that Bravo does not renew them for next season. I don’t know what it is, but there is some type of disconnect here. While I’m not particuarly fond of some of the other cities, they seem to have the normal drama & flow. RHOM is just off. I am not a fan of spanglish as well. It can be distracting at times.

      • bsbfankaren

        I grew up in New Mexico, so the spanglish doesn’t bother me in the least. I kinda hope the show does get renewed, but I also hope that the cast get’s shaken up one more time. I could do without Karnt unless there is going to be some sort of real story line for her, that does not include an absentee/fake boyfriend. I would also like to see a whole lot less of Elaine going forward, and all the BS that goes along with that person. I know he/she’s not a cast member, but it would be great if Lea was asked to leave him behind during filming.

      • puravidacostarica

        I think it’d be even funnier if Elaine got picked up as a “housewife” as Lea’s replacement. :-)

      • bsbfankaren

        I would never watch the show again.

  4. smooches

    I actually think Ana was vile for no reason…the digs about Lea’s age was lame…seems like Ana had her balls on display to secure a spot for a future season…she was wack and lame…I don’t u/s why Lisa or Karent was there…Joanna is a drunk who I wish would implode…Adriana has always been my ‘favorite’ b/c she’s consistent in her actions…why’s Ana mad that Lea laid on her back for the right one…how about Ana worry about coming across as a pathetic woman pining for a dude who’s clearly moved on, yet you’re doing his laundry

    • bsbfankaren

      Ana was married to the man for more then 20 years, and they are both seeing other’s. If she wants to continue to do his laundry, that’s her business as there are more then a few women who have difficulty letting go of the past, and to me that makes her more likable and far more real then a few of the other ladies.

      • shirley

        thank you bingo

      • smooches

        still pathetic

      • bsbfankaren

        Well ya’ know, I am sure there are some things in your life some would consider “pathetic” as well. Such is life.

      • smooches

        and you’re even more pathetic now than before

      • bsbfankaren

        Better that someone think I am pathetic, then to be known as so obviously and oddly judgmental.

      • bsbfankaren

        Hello, kettle!

      • WhatRUWatchin

        You have to remember… Ana watched these episodes too, like we did. Lea was a backstabbing, insulting, pot stirring smart ass this entire season…. Ana arrived locked and loaded and I don’t blame her. Look at the way Lea uses her “friends” like attack dogs… her insulting snarky comments followed by the cackle are mean as hell… Birds of a feather….. look at who she hangs with…. this girl has no class.
        Girls gone wild suits her.

      • smooches

        I will say that I’ve missed some episodes because the show tends to bore me and comes across as contrived drama but what exactly did Lea say about Ana?

      • bsbfankaren

        For most of the season, Ana watched Lea go after Marysol mercilessly with the help of Elaine, watched her make comments about the new cast members on a regular basis, then Lea said something that I believe was in an interview about Ana’s daughter’s, who I happen to think are pretty darn well grounded. Of course that Dinner at Thomas Kramer’s house didn’t help either, since his was a far more boorish way of saying some of the same things Lea had said, with Lea simply sitting back and laughing. Ana seems to have simply had enough, and took the time to call Lea out for her behavior. Although some might have seen it as out of bounds, making comments about Lea’s age was equal in many ways to the digs Lea made about Marysol and other’s, in that they hit her where she is most vulnerable. Look at it this way. She couldn’t go after Lea’s son, because he’s too young. She couldn’t go after Lea’s marriage as it seems solid, so that left her business (I don’t know, age defying creams?) and therefore her age. While it may sound like a low blow, to me it is no lower then what Lea and Elaine continually did to Marysol, and even Lisa Pliner who we saw in clips say one thing to Lea/Elaine and something else to Marysol and Ana, to the point where frankly I thought she was angling to be a cast member. That’s just my take, and i’m sure other’s have a differing opinion.

      • Agreed. When Ana let Thomas (Chauvinist) Krammer know that she doesn’t have to shut up just because he said so.
        I was so happy to see that. Thomas was rude and all he does is over sexualize the ladies. Ana’s the only sensible cast member besides Elsa to stand for something so they won’t fall for anything.

      • bsbfankaren

        Agreed. Thomas Kramer was rude to nearly every woman at the table, and no one should have sat still for it. Ana is my kind kinda gal!

    • Sarah

      I agree. Ana was my favorite after Lisa until this reunion. I kept thinking how sad it was to watch such an absolutely stunning and intelligent woman allow herself to become nothing more than a first generation reject of the Bad Girls Club. The woman is capable of verbally slaying anyone where they stand without breaking a sweat, yet, she resorts to catty name calling. It’s a waste of a law degree if you ask me.

    • Joan

      Just a quick note about Ana. Divorce after such a long time, grown children, etc. would be hard for anyone! We don’t know the circumstances behind the divorce, not really. Give her a little time to recover. She’s obviously having a hard time letting go of the marriage. Not every one recovers from a divorce at the same rate of time… Heck, if she wants to do his laundry, let her. Who cares?

      • bsbfankaren

        And not everyone is able to simply walk away from a long term relationship. I think we live in a world where relationships are so throw away, that apparently it’s seen as “pathetic” when a woman has issues cutting ties. As I said, I think it makes Ana look human since she isn’t simply tossing her marriage away like so much garbage, but is taking the time to slowly disengage. What I really liked seeing was the way her daughter’s were handling the dissolution of their parents marriage, where one was apparently just fine with it (like the husband), while one was still sitting on the fence (like Ana). It meant a lot to me that the daughter’s opinions were asked for and appreciated.

  5. Nicole

    I am team Anna, Adriana and Marisol. Too bad Lisa is on team Joanna. I do like Lisa though. I love how Anna called Lea out. Ugh and I can not stand all that SCREECHING that Lea does. I have to fast forward through it. Joanna is ugly on the outside AND the inside and Karent is just plain stupid!

  6. I’m not sure which kid Karent is talking about. Didn’t Alexia’s older kid get into some trouble more recently?

    Anyhow, great recap! I agree with it all. Was glad to see Lea get it back tonight, particularly from Ana, cool, calm poisonous tongue. I think every woman there is afraid to get on Lea’s bad side. They suck up to her out of fear. But they don’t actually like her.

  7. And what was up with Andy Cohen mispronouncing Adrianna’s name the whole time? He pronounced it like Teresa Guidice’s daughter’s name: Audriana.

  8. AmberKnows

    Awesome recap TamaraT… This reunion was off the chain and worth the wait! Loved that Ana went in on Lea and rode that old whore making her faint from exhaustion and her tight double girdle. Loved all of the ‘old’ references she aimed and coupled with the mattress on her back comments it sent Lea teetering over the brink! LMAO Grandma needs to sit down or get runt over by a reindeer. Team Ana.

    Adriana also went HAM on HoAna. She countered every volley and scored continuously. Great show. Her calling TEEFS a brown noser was priceless and even Andy ki kiied over it. Too bad she is a loyal friend to an undeserving Lea as her respect for GrannySellsColdCreamOutThePinto is not returned. Everyone on the right of our screen was jealous that Adriana got the Tshirt including Lea who rolled her eyes. Team Adriana

    Finally Marysol came out of her shell and yelled her feelings to the abusive and hateful Lea. STFU never sounded better and was well deserved. Team Marysol.

    Lisa was quiet, Karent was ass-kissing and HoAna was a despicable slut as usual.

    • bsbfankaren

      “Hoanna” is the name Joanna will be hearing in her dreams going forward, since I suspect people will start yelling it at her when they see her out and about. That was just too, too funny.

      As for Lea, I sure wish someone would have brought up the fact that her cross dressing attack dog wouldn’t know the truth if it pulled his wig off, saying one thing to Marysol then turning around and saying something else to Lea. If anyone is responsible for Marysol and Lea not being able to continue their friendship, it’s him and not Ana.

  9. JessOC

    Adrianna is a jealous nightmare. I’m extremely surprised how you portrayed her in your re cap. I agree Joanna has major issues but lets be real-she was flat out brutal crazy honest about her relationship. Joanna was so real I was shocked and thought she should have held back a little thought the season with her frank comments. But she let it all hang out. Adrianna said she had no story line?! Joanna is a beautiful model who has made it on her own what has Adrianna done?! She is THE nightmare bitch not Joanna, sorry that’s just my take. Adrianna let her insecurities show last season she was the hot one , this season not only is she not the hot one she has no story line. She is clearly not online the Frenchmen and very jealous of Joanna. Marysol is beyond boring as is Ana.

    • DJ

      “She is clearly not online the Frenchmen”. What???

      • LOL I thought it was just me. Thanks, DJ. :)

      • JessOC

        I meant in love! I was trying fast because I was so disgusted with Adrianna and her horrible behavior.

      • JessOC

        Lord maybe I need to get rid of my long nails lol sorry ladies.

      • WhatRUWatchin

        How horrified were you when we watched Hoanna rip her sister to shreds because she thought her sister was not cooking correctly? Then threw papers on the floor telling her to clean them up while telling her how much she hates her right now…. while her sister was trying to help her out? Hoanna is a spoiled black hearted piece of dung in a pretty wrapper. Period.

    • Dylpeyt

      @ JessOC I 100 percent agree! It’s almost as if I am watching a different show as the rest of these people! Don’t get me wrong, I cringed everytime Joanna spoke to her sister. She was horrible to her but I tend not to judge family relationships cause we never know the root of those feelings. I treat my sister very similar and I can promise you I have every reason to behave the way I do so I am going to give her the benifit of the doubt and think maybe she has her reasons as well. Especially after watching the fight between Adrianna and Johanna and how her sister didn’t step in and take up for her. Had that of been my sister it wouldn’t of mattered who was in the right or not if someone had attacked my sister the way Adrianna did the it wouldn’t have been pretty. Moving on, I loved Johanna and absolutely loathed Adrianna! She proved herself to be a jealous insicure brat that wished she had some type of talent other than laying on her back like Johanna does. People seem to forget that Johanna does not need Romain like Johanna needs the French guy. I hated how Adrianna lied about who attacked who and honestly I hated everything about that disgusting excuse of a Brazilian beauty cause she may have been beautiful at one time 20 years ago but now she’s just a pathetic ratchet wanna be!

  10. bsbfankaren

    I used to really like Adrianna, but dang she just couldn’t shut up, even when she was winning the point! I absolutely loved seeing Ana give Lea a taste of her own medicine. It’s true that Lea doesn’t like Ana because she’s the only one willing to stand up to her, and I’m also glad that Marysol finally stood her ground. Great episode and a great recap. Thanks, Tamara!

  11. bsbfankaren

    Now I want to know. How did Lea help Adrianna?

    • DJ

      I think it had something to do with Adrianna’s divorce or some problem she was having with her ex-husband. I vaguely remember something about it from the first season.

      • bsbfankaren

        Yeah, I found something on the internet and posted it. It’s waiting for Tamara’s approval because it’s a link to a very interesting blog post.

    • Iced Tea

      She also gave she and her son a place to live. She was and is a really good friend to Adrianna.

      • bsbfankaren

        Well and I suppose Lea also knows her dirt.

      • Che

        Yep. the first season, Andrienna sp said that she found out her husband had another wife? or girlfriend and left him. he was bread winner, so she was struggling and living in her? art gallery. Lea found out gave her a place to stay and I think paid her son’s tuition and introduced her to rich men. I think Lea probably helped her get her gallery business off the ground. so Andriena will probably always be loyal and grateful to her.

  12. Heartland

    Adriana makes fake crying noises while saying “Honey Boo Boob” over and over in her Spanish accent
    ————————-
    Wait, isn’t Adriana Brazilian?!
    Portuguese accent. <~~~~ fixed that for you. #helpful

  13. victori0us

    I don’t really like any of these bitches. Lisa is ok but the rest of em are spiteful and hateful. I really can’t pick one I disliked more than the other. It was funny watching Lea get pummeled but got-damn that Ana is one annoying bitch. She’s got sumn to say about everything. It’s like shut the fuck up bitch. Did Lea even mouth that broads name all season? I hope Ana is gone next season.

    But anywho…that reunion was great TV. They came out the gate with guns blazing.

    • bsbfankaren

      Lisa surprised me in this reunion, as she didn’t agree with much of what Joanna said, and actually reminded her that she was just as responsible as Adrianna for much of what went on between the two of them during the season. As much as I thought she would simply back whatever Karent and Joanna said, she didn’t. so I think there might just be some backbone there that wasn’t on display during the season. By the way, Lea didn’t have time to say anything about Ana during the season, since she spent so much time going after the obviously low hanging fruit that Karent. Joanna and Marysol provided.

      • pffftt

        Actually Lisa does show a backbone, did you see her tell off Elaine Lancaster for pushing someone in her poll and ruining the equipment playing music? She even yelled at Lea for bringing Elaine and Joe Francis.

        I think if any of these women came after Lisa she would bite their head off.

  14. Mrs Taylor

    I COULD NOT WAITTO GET HERE AND WRITE ABOUT THIS REUNION!!!!!!!! As far as I’m concerned,it was the best ever! I say that because, you could actually hear what was being said..and Ms. Ana gave Mrs. Black THE BUSINESS!
    I hate people throw rocks and hide their hands. All season long Lea has been instigating and then acting like the women are crazy. She started the mess in Bimini, asking them personal questions but never putting her own business out there. That thin, dry hair worked my nerves the WHOLE f-ing season.

    • God YES Mrs Taylor!! Loved your thin, dry hair worked my nerves, comment!! LOL!! I felt exactly the same. The worst thing about her though is that horrendous voice. I put the captions on and mute when she talks. She’s an offensive f–ing moron.

  15. gemkandi

    Tamara’s blog does not disappoint! I enjoyed it more than the actual reunion! Funny and straight to the point!

  16. karen

    Adrianna was a complete nut last night. I can’t stand her and I find her voice so annoying.

  17. My G*d Tamara, this blog was longer than the show itself. What the heck got into Ana last night. All season she was so quiet and supporting of everyone. Last night she went after Lea like a pit bull. It’s nice to see Ana speak up, but the ageist remarks against Lea were rather tacky.
    I still have no idea why Lisa is on the show at all. She contributes nothing and I hope she is dropped next season along with Karent.
    I guess Adriana and Joanna make for good tv, but quite frankly it is getting old really quickly.
    I like Lea but she really should not keep disparaging Marysol’s business. It’s very poor form.
    Can’t wait to see Part 2 of the reunion next week.

    • Iced Tea

      They are fighting for Season 3. They know what happened to Washington LOL…plus Ana wants to come back next year…I hope she has a man by then. Pathetic. I don’t like her because where was all this mouth during filiming? she is trying to redeem herself because she came off weak and spineless this season. Too late.

      • bsbfankaren

        Not having a man is seen as “pathetic”? Really? She has already said she’s seeming someone who is/was unhappy she still hadn’t move forward with her divorce. We saw the papers get signed. She just has to stop allowing her now ex access to her home and be done with it. Not at all “pathetic”, just difficult to let go of that which she already knows.

    • pffftt

      Lisa seems like someone you’d like to hang out with. She has a rich husband, great lifestyle, but seems to have a personable and down to earth personality. I really enjoy Lisa.

      Lisa doesn’t pretend to be a “self made” woman… They need to get rid of Lea… She doesn’t fit into the group. She is older… Her jokes really aren’t funny. She isn’t Lisa Vanderpump. Lisa Vanderpump and her husband are BUSINESS PARTNERS, Lisa actually works. Lea’s husband supports her. So Lea sells some makeup shit, that doesn’t pay the bills.

      • bsbfankaren

        But like Lisa, isn’t that what qualifies her as an actual housewife, which is the title of the show?

      • smooches

        and that would make Lea a HOUSEWIFE which is the title of the show…everybody is looking for some type of shine from these reality shows…one actor is not better than the other although some may come across as more likeable than the other(s)

  18. Iced Tea

    Awesome recap as usual but tell us how you really feel about Lea lol. I love Lea, diamonds warts and all.

    Adriana and she make a great team. HoAnna is a joke. Just because you are pretty doesn’t excuse your drunken slutty dimwit behavior. Put a gold ring in the nose of a pig and it is still a pig. All the women are pretty to tell the truth. I feel sorry for Marysol…she is like always the bridesmaid never a bride…for long…

    Reunion was hella funny. Cannot wait until part deux.

  19. Ms1dimple

    Great recap Tamara, this is my first time posting here however I do come over and read. As far as the show last night. I thought Adriana was over the top, love, love, love Ana not scared to confront Lea-Screech the only thing I didn’t like was the age comments too much! Marasol still seems so weak to me, Joanna is gorge but… soooooooooo shallow you can see str8 through her. I wanna see what Mama Elsa is talking about next week. Oh, Karenteeth.. I can’t enough said

  20. puravidacostarica

    The problem with Lea is that she thinks she’s smarter than any of the other women on those couches. Well, with no offense to any other woman on the couch, Lea met her match in Ana. I enjoyed every single second of Ana calling Lea out on her BS. And I still can’t stand brown-nosing KarenT (emphasis on the “T”) and whorish, drunken, loud, trailer-trash Joanna (no matter how beautiful she may be on the outside).

  21. puravidacostarica

    My favorites from Tamara’s recap:

    Lea: “scumbucket” (no truer label for the wacko from Waco)

    Andy: “vain (paraphrasing what he’d rather say to the women: “you probably think this reunion is about you, don’t you, don’t you?”)

    Roman: “BWAHAHAHA” in response to him generally not being into sex (absolutely spot on…he’s just too tired from f**king others and too disgusted by Joanna’s behavior, but she’s good arm candy; I’m willing to bet Romain is secretly laughing behind Joanna’s back at her characterization of him)

    Karent: “twitter whore” (priceless!)

    Thanks for the great recap!

  22. smooches

    so when you like the person that’s doing the attacking, it’s called keeping it real and putting someone in their place but when you don’t it’s called bullying and being messy…mmmmkay

    • puravidacostarica

      I don’t recall ever calling something bullying or being messy. mmmmmkay

      • puravidacostarica

        Also, IMO, trash-talking is not bullying. “Bullying’ is 2012′s most overused and misused word in the English language, thrown about by folks as a means of shaming people into silence. I agree with Ana — don’t detract from the real problem associated with bullying (involving, usually, kids and teenagers) by using it as a putdown of an adult in inappropriate situations.

      • Gem

        FINALLY SOMEONE MADE THAT CLEAR… People need to know the def. and the difference for bullying and when someone is basically cussing your @ss out

      • Called A Princess...

        The big problem is that there are different types of bullying. To bring up children as the biggest issue is really not the truth. Children grow up to be adults that are still bullies that even become leaders of communities and countries. War can a form of bullying on a grand scale and so can political assassination. JMHO.

      • smooches

        if my comment was meant for you I would have @ you…it’s a general statement…I still believe Ana was vile and the whole balls display was a vie for season 3, which I hope doesn’t happen for Miami at all

      • You know…you could just not watch it.

  23. WhatRUWatchin

    Tamara, how is it I just found your blog yesterday? You are awesome! I am on disability right now, and for a hard working woman, it was terrible at first. now I love it :) I spent my day yesterday reading for hours. I love the way you think and will be here often! Just wanted to say, great job! Thank you!

  24. Pinky

    Thank you Tamra for this totally awesome recap. I read somewhere today that Ana had a file folder and called out Lea on a lot! This evidently rattled Lea and whole thing was edited out. Also, the reason Ana made the comment about her daughters not being socially awkward to Lea was because Lea had made comments in a talking head referencing Ana’s daughter’s as potty mouths, and being socially awkward…..so this makes me love Ana and her balls. Lea would NOT be anything without the men she has slept with and the rich guy she married — according to Ana’s research/folder….that was edited out.

  25. karen

    Why does Andy continually refer to Adrianna as Audrianna? Has anyone else noticed this?

  26. caribbean

    I “liked” Ana around the beginning of the season until the Reunion actually.She can be real catty.Kept attacking Lea,constantly..Adrianna & Ana had A LOT to say.They did a lot of prepping.Both annoyed me..Alexia can disappear and I won’t even notice she’s gone..Marysol is a sweet girl but boring as shit.I adore Lisa.I think she’s hysterical.I love Karent,Lea & Joanna.Not sure what happened between Lisa & Joannna but am optimistic they’ll work it out…Nuff said.

  27. Or bulimia. it could be that.

  28. flo

    Apparently the socially awkward thing was aimed at Lea not at her son. Apparently Lea had called Ana’s daughters socially awkward and that is why Ana was gunning for her. I read an interview with Robert and Ana had a file with her of shizzle about what a fraud Lea Black is – but bravo cut it. I wanna see me some of that.

    • I read the same article. However it never said lea used the words “socially awkward” about Ana’s girls. She said they were potty mouths…I think in a blog…but i do not think she said socially awkward.

      • Called A Princess...

        I think that the term “socially awkward” was used to describe anything that Lea might have said concerning Anna’s daughters, in print, on the show, or in any future media endeavors?

  29. Randi

    I am going into this late, didn’t get to watch until last night and didn’t get to post until tonight, so there isn’t really much I can contribute to this conversation except to say:

    Damn, Tamara, this is a fantastic recap! EVERYTHING you thought, I thought. And so many of you have so many good points.

  30. Should I be worried that I disagree with almost everything you said, Tamara?

  31. First of all, if nasty made a sound, only dogs could hear Alexia. She’s a tax cheat with a thug son, and she was vile to Karent right out of the gate.

    I really don’t get the Karent hate, other than she’s the new kid. She’s not a bad person that I can see. Pretend boyfriend and all, she’s harmless.

    Lea’s jabs are sarcastic and nasty, but pale compared to Ana’s “You made your living on your back” and “You’re not even relevant in your own home” not to mention sleuthing in her past and then somehow concluding that “selling cold cream out of the trunk of you pinto” is less self-made than having your parents put you through school so you can be a high powered (not) real estate closer. And the “socially awkward” slur was beneath contempt. By the way, the sex talks with Daddy and daughters at dinner ARE weird. Yuck.

    Adrianna is a jealous cow.

    Johanna is one of those people who shouldn’t drnk. Ever. Alcohol is poison to her. However, she didn’t grab Adrianna. Someone should tell Addy that there’s film of her physical assault. As for calling Johanna a whore constantly, if I was Johanna I’d sue her ass.

    Lisa and Marisol are nonmotherfuckingfactors. They can be excused from class now.

    Lea needs voice modulation lessons and a course in human relations.

    I like Mama Elsa.

    I’m done now. I feel better.

    • I’m so glad to see you. Even though most of your opinions are for shit. Except that Lisa is persona non grata. Only so much “I deformed my body with plastic surgery so you should feel bad that I can’t conceive” story line that one can take.

      I love you TRho! I may be day drinking and slightly drunky though. Don’t tell the big kahuna but I love her too!

  32. Old lord. Trho is here. When did her opinions get so off base? Didn’t she used to be smart. And TC is day drinking and tomorrow be begging me to delete her professions of undying love.

    Seems a poor time for a nap. Imma make me some coffee and watch what happens.

  33. Which of my opinions are shit? That Alexia is a nasty piece of work? That Adrianna is a jealous cow? That Lea is a supercilious twit? That Ana is a desperate stalker? Which, exactly?

  34. Also, knock off the love shit, it makes me jumpy.

  35. I’m going to give you a 25% for that last post for content. I will award 10% extra credit bonus for follow up remark. However, 35% is still an F even given the steep curve in place on this site.

  36. puravidacostarica

    Okay, I’ll play. The use of supercilious in describing Lea is the only tidbit of comment that I agree with. Joanna is hot, but no one could possibly be jealous of that, given what’s inside the package.

  37. What does Robert have to say? Oh yeah, that Lea said their dinner convo was inappropriate. And that the producers told them Lea was coming after them? Lol, the producers win.

    They use THAT. As the reason to do a bulging file worth of “investigating of Lea all the way back to Texas, and you all think this is aces?

    YEEK.

  38. Why is Joanna obsessed with Kim Kardashian?

  39. Ha! I didn’t even think about that. Joanna is SOOO jealous of Kim K. I guess from where Joanna is standing that seems like a step up to her… bless her heart.

  40. mbpat

    Wasnt lisa h on rock of love using the name daisy? Isnt that her maids name?

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