Shahs of Sunset Recap In Which I Get Real and Piss Them All Off

ShahsREzagaycrisisHere we go. LOL at the change in translation from episode to episode from MJ calling Reza a piece of filth to calling him a piece of dirt. Same thing. Why the change? It does play into the MJ sympathy curve? I am buying the MJ sympathy storyline hook line and sinker by the way.

Reza is telling Mike that MJ has wronged him because GG said bad things about him and she didn’t stick up for him. In his talking head he says MJ is wrong for calling him fat. Well…Reza….for one you admitted on camera at the end of last season you were gaining weight. And for another MJ never called you fat, she said she sticks up for you, she was using other people calling you fat as an example. And finally, you talk about MJ being fat all the time and later in this very episode you will call Sammy fat. Fat people get called fat. Don’t ask me how I know this. Stop making excuses for your mishandling of a situation. You’ve know MJ for decades. You should treat her better than some ho who rides in on a horse from fucking Houston. END OF STORY. But I’m going to get to that.

Lilly has a sister who showed up to be on the show. I don’t think she talks like Lilly in annoying screechy voice. I really don’t know because she barely spoke before I zipped through that part.

SHAHSMikeNoShirtI think the producers would have tossed Mike this season just like they did Sammy if Mike weren’t so hot. He has no storyline so they have decided to cast him in the role of therapist to the rest of the cast. His job appears to be to look hot, take off his shirt whenever possible and pretend to try to resolve Other Persians Problems (OPP). He’s down with OPP this season. He goes to visit GG who is drunk (but she claims she only drinks on camera). She must be really drunk because she makes no sense and everything she says is a contradiction. I don’t know if GG really gets that her scenes are on film. She contradicts the truth, she contradicts herself and Mike realizes that being a therapist is like hard, dude.  I can’t even recap this. Mike says it best, “Are we on the same planet? This is pretty much the last straw. People don’t want to hang out with you!”  GG goes to get her knives an retreats to be alone with them.

MJ is being an idiot. IT IS HER OFFICE. Send his ass out. Make him leave to be “with Mike.” This is a bad decision, MJ.  You have the big desk, he has the little table. Let’s see how long it takes him to move to your desk. If Keller Williams does any sort of vetting at all, they will not hire Mike anyway. Reza cannot “get him hired.” He has no experience in residential and from what I saw in the interview Mike didn’t show any game. It was clear to me in two seconds that he just wanted to move to KW because they allow cameras in the office and his place doesn’t.  I had my real estate license at 19 and was taken in by a broker for the best agency in Atlanta. But the bottom line is you have to produce. I got a hot boyfriend and moved on to other things after one sale. But no harm no foul, if  the agent isn’t making money the agency doesn’t either. I was cute and did a lot of Open House sitting one the weekends. Everyone was happy. What is Mike going to do? I don’t think he is serious about this job. It’s storyline to make him closer to the Reza humiliates MJ storyline that will be the focus of the season. Don’t even try to pretend to build a desk  at home (scripted) you will be back in your office soon.

Cut to Jefferson, Reza’s white southern brother from another mother. Wanna know who he is? He’s Reza’s Bravo handler. Who guess what? Is Reza’s best friend now and his fashion advisor. What happened to that guy last season who was advising Reza? I dunno. Not enough connections? He’s the Nene Leakes of Shahs I tell you! More product placement on the bed. This is a thing unique to Shah’s …whatever you get out of a company… borrowed Rolexes, donated ties, and clothing, you lay it out on the bed for the product placement and it is yours to borrow or keep. Jefferson is HOT HOT HOT by the way. Reza is like Mike from Jersey Shore all up in this gay joint. If Mike were even older and more desperate than he is. Um, sorry Reza. Love you! Mean it! Just keeping it 100! I’m too tired to pretend this is acceptable tonight. Sniffing twink’s armpits brings you all the way across the gay crisis line. Don’t even try to deny it. I live in Atlanta where 70% of the men are gay. I know these things. Don’t argue with a fruit fly, you won’t win.  You are straight up twink troll,  trolling on national television. /sigh.

Jermaine Jackson Jr and Asa Soltan Rahmati at Andy Cohen's Book Signing at Sur. Jermaine Jackson Jr and Asa Soltan Rahmati at Andy Cohen’s Book Signing at Sur.

Ah. Finally the Asa scene I knew was coming. I’ve been wanting to share this news with you guys for almost a year!  Asa and Jermaine Jackson Jr. are in love! This ain’t no stunt boyfriend. Asa knows she is on camera, Jermaine know he is on camera and Asa waltzes in with none of the Asa fanfare. It’s no make-up no pretense, just two lovers taking a lunch break. It’s  breath-taking. Jermaine follows the script about being surprised, but he isn’t. He knows she is coming, she knew she was going, but other than Jermaine’s  one line “What a surprise!” it’s all very natural and sweet. He has such a genuine smile when he sees her. In her talking heads however we get the made up Asa. She’s SPECTACULAR. I love her bead necklace that reminds of Chad (the country) and Libyan bedouins. Love the headdress. LOVE EVERYTHING. /sigh (this time it’s a good sigh). And yes, we know she told him what she was going to bring him and no one believes she does this every day, (didn’t we just see she’s been doing a kitchen renovation?) but what is clear is that they are in love. Jermaine has an interesting voice deep and sexy… but there is some sort of weird accent happening there. Don’t get me wrong.  I love it, but it ain’t no California thing. It’s like Madonna and her British thing.

Reza has a new client, Elvira. Oh no wait. That is Lilly. Something has happened to her hair. Perhaps hair an make-up were on a break after she drove in several times in her convertible so we could get the aerial shot. Wait that was stock footage. Nevermind. I have no explanation for her hair. Girl seems to have no idea when to stop adding clips.  The hair and the implants together…doesn’t make it hard for her not to topple over? Whatever, Lilly. I know you tried to be nice to me but I was team MJ and Reza before you were flown in. And you coming to MJ’s office and trash talking her in her own office ain’t flying with me.  WAIT WHAT? Did Lilly just accuse MJ of BOTOX? REALLY? EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT LILLY IS FAKE! Hair, nose. breasts, waistline…ALL OF IT. She’s has more surgery that Lisa Hochstein! Shut your face, Lilly! No one believes that Lilly is actually buying in Beverly Hills. No One.

And we are off to Mike’s parent’s house to introduce his brothers. They are both dentists. But the real point of the story is to set up the fact that Mike is not really going to work for Keller Williams. I know he says he has the job there, but either they agreed to let him work there for the filming season, or he is going to have a dramatic realization that residential is not for him. Expect him to go out with Reza at the most once or twice. He keeps his shirt on this scene so let’s move on. Even his brothers point out that he is a pretty face and unable to handle residential because it is an emotional business. If only Ryan Seacrest understood that before throwing him in the role of therapist. His dad is digusted and actually leaves the table. My guess is he is against the show and the cameras in general. Smart man.

Shahs of Sunset: Don't Get it Twisted, It's ALL about MJThe forced cast party tonight is for Tehran’s party. He is a close friend of MJ’s who is having a party and everyone will be there. I’m zipping through a Lilly scene or two. Reza of course arrives to MJ’s friends party with not just Lilly but her sister. Asa arrives and it’s Asa, Reza, the new chick and her sister and Sammy from season one!  Asa points out in her talking head that Tehran is half black and half Iranian. She is worried about his life because Iranians can be very racist. You don’t say, Asa. Did you watch last week when Reza and Mike were talking about… I forget was it Jews? “White People?” Some racist scene at a carwash, I should edit in links later. What time is it now? MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Of course Reza calls Tehran a unicorn. I’m irritated with Reza who has never actually live in Iran. Reza has no idea what is going on politically in Iran, doesn’t care, and then posts “Holiday Gift Ideas” for Iranians “Persians” which include such gems as “Persians don’t drink a lot of tea.”  I think he should have probably referred to his rulebook of “Oh hey, we are just Persians being Persian we are not representing anyone, we were not elected to anything” and not made a video about Iranians and their tea drinking habits. I think about a billion of his ancestors fell over dead again when he claimed “Persians don’t drink much tea.”  The truth is none of these people have lived in Iran past age 8. And only Asa made it that far and she is the only one that tries to incorporate her Iranian culture in her life, her art and her being. And in season one they all mocked her for that. But now suddenly this season, Reza is going to call a mixed race Iranian a unicorn? It’s a completely uneducated comment about things he knows nothing about because he was raised in Beverly Hills. You can’t fault him for his upbringing but. You can fault him for his racism. AND I HATE to bring that up here because y’all are like pit bulls on that issue but it is true. I love Reza but he is a racist and he needs to spend some time learning more about his culture. /jumps off soapbox.

Shahs of Sunset: Don't Get it Twisted, It's ALL about MJSad to hear that Asa’s Fashion week gig fell through. Can I  also say I am even sadder about MJ’s choice of dress? I love her but she needs to start wearing clothes in her size! Both too big and too small are unflattering. And carrying a big black purse in front of you does not work on film. Pictures, yes. Film no.  Meanwhile, despite the fact that this is her friend’s party. She is walking into the lion’s den. Oh MJ, while I appreciate you going right up to Reza and playing nice. It was WRONG of you to go up to Lilly and make fun of her dress! Lilly was justified in making a comment about your dress. You STARTED DRESS GATE 2012. You will never win  against someone as small as Lilly.

Asa doesn’t understand being best friends with a gay guy. Reza pretends to like Omid which means he will be a friend of the Shahs all season. Reza takes to the stage like Kenya Moore. What the fuck? Is this your party Reza? You look like Miss USA 1993 up there making an inappropriate speech. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN. Take as many seats as you need. But no, you publicly shame MJ once again in front of her friend who is throwing the event. You have nothing to do with this. If you go along with a script saying that Lilly is your new bestie that you like more than Asa and Mike and Omid then you deserve what is coming for you.  That was  50 shades of wrong. You really stood on furniture and called out your friends in order of importance? And in your talking head weeks late you say it felt good? WOW. You and Asa talk about MJ acting grade school?

Remember when Reza liked Sammy?

Remember when Reza liked Sammy?

Sammy finally gets miked because MJ smartly booked out of there. So Sammy tries to explain to Asa and Reza that standing on furniture in a bar and pronouncing that you like Lilly the best was a total douchebag move (script or no script). Reza equating Lilly and MJ was bullshit. Lilly needed to shut the fuck up. She’s not in this. Reza feels totally justified. Then he calls Sammy fat. Asa is totally on the wrong team. MJ is the victim. Y’all are treating MJ like crap. It’s disgusting. Reza leaves and insults the host by calling him a “unicorn” again. I guess is Asa and Jermaine have kids Asa will be fine with Reza calling them unicorns. Asa and Reza were both wrong. I can hear cries of “editing” from here but they can’t edit what you don’t say.Next week it is MJ’s birthday. You only get paid for episodes you are in, so expect all the MJ haters to show up.


Filed under Asa Soltan Rahmati, Golnesa Gharachedaghi, Mike Shouhed, Reza Farahan, Shahs of Sunset

34 responses to “Shahs of Sunset Recap In Which I Get Real and Piss Them All Off

  1. test. are comments closed? if so tweet me at Tamaratattles Please try again.

    Okay my guess at this point is that WORDPRESS has fucked something up. That should have been my first guess.

    I’m so sorry Word PRESS is a bitch. I’ll move soon. Meanwhile post comments in the new thread?

    Sorry. I am embarrassed by the crappy host I selected.

  2. TEB2350

    Testing for you

  3. LN1809

    Great blog I completely agree with your opinions. Reza needs an ego-check. He completely humiliated MJ and took the fight way too far. He is a hypocrite.

    • A.P.

      I agree. Reza is friends with this woman for 20 years and was completely disgusting last night on the reunion. If she actually has a substance abuse problem than it should be treated like a disease, not a faulty character. He should treat her with compassion, not ridicule.

  4. Lesley

    Merry Christmas

  5. gemkandi

    Excellent recap! I have to hand it to you, you call it spot on in your blogs! This whole episode seems like an MJ hate fest. Wonder what they will get MJ for her B-day? Hmmm…maybe some shade…

  6. YAY! I FINALLY got comments working and most of the errors in the post itself fixed. Sorry for the delay, and thanks for the help and feedback!

  7. Denise

    Merry Christmas, just testing like you asked.

  8. Socalsun

    I watched Shahs last night for the first time. Sorry, but I thought it was a terrible show. I
    would not watch it again.

  9. Natalie K

    Reza said that Lilly is a commission check to him btw. Asa’s bf is great and they make a gorgeous couple. Reza calling people fat is hypocritical. Lilly and Reza’s comments re: MJ are just mean. What can I say about these people, I know a few of them, related to one of them. Hmmmm, breathe deeply. Team MJ!!

  10. phakedraparks

    Reza is vile. I’m done with this show.

  11. P

    This is the most of any Shahs episode that I’ve ever seen. All I can say is after watching this episode, no wonder the so-called “Persian” community is ashamed of the show. For a culture so rich in tradition these fools are an embarrassment. G.G. needs help. Hell, Reza needs help. At his age and sniffing kids at the club? Embarrassing…..

    Lily, seriously, is this girl for real? Not really a fan of MJ’s but I don’t think she was taking a dig at Lily regarding the dress. Talk about a molehill. Regardless, we are witnessing history here folks. A Persian valley girl that is from Houston Texas no less! Get real. She’s “fucking great” according to her. Yet, everything about her is fake. I also believe she is stroking the flames of the Reza/MJ feud too.

    I don’t know if MJ is jealous of Lily – but if she is – she is a fool. MJ has natural features, Lily has manufactured features. The only thing we know is real about Lily is her weight. But, then again, she could be purging on that for all we know… point is Lily is nothing to be jealous over. MJ needs to be more open regarding their “circle of friends” because it’s not as if any of them are all that great to begin with. And, NO ONE should be jealous of ANY of them. Period.

    The only one that would possibly be jealous of Lily is Reza and he’s an idiot. Sammy, the guy that MJ had a falling out with (don’t know if they patched it up b/c I never see much of it) came to MJ’s defense early on. When Asa, another fake one, introduced the topic – I noticed Sammy told Asa to let them work it out in private. Sammy later, from what I saw, tried to defend MJ but that idiot Reza was having none of it…..

    Yeah, they are an embarrassment to any community. Drunken ramblings, sniffing teens at the club, manufactured body parts, disloyalty in the highest order…… They can stop all that shit about Persian this and that too.

    It’s a shame any of these people are as racists as they are, considering they are from a minority group themselves….Reza himself is a member of two minority groups. Ignorance doesn’t skip cultures….

    on a side note: Asa should be further along in her career considering Jackson Jr. has connections to both the Jackson’s and Gordy’s…I mean is he not Barry Gordy’s grandson? I suspect things will pick up for her soon. I just hope she can rise above bashing MJ. No one is perfect, including Ms. Diamond Water….

    Have a safe and happy X-Mas everyone.

    Best Wishes,

    • marc

      Terrific comment from Patricia well written and her thought process on point.
      Original poster is right ASA really only person representing her culture.

      side note: people act surprise to see black persian. Youtube black iranians black persians. Outside of the capital you have a number of people that are black living in Iran.

  12. Dawn Raine

    Tamara, as usual, good recap. I agree with opinions. I have felt the group on Shahs in general think if you are not of their culture you are nothing.

    I am always disappointed when gay people, who complain about bias and bullying, are themselves mean and catty. It seems to be the norm for the fashion conscious guys like Reza.

  13. maddybell

    The whole bully the fat girl theme is sickening. The ignorance …….. Ill just skip this season n watch the reunion.

  14. Merry Christmas Tamara, hope you have a very special day. I have absolutely nothing to add to your outstanding blog, you covered every topic and angle there was to cover and did a smashing job to boot.

  15. Tasha

    It’s pretty clear to me now they are just spoiled American citizens who happen to be Persian. Last year we got into the cultural foods and holidays which I liked. Only time we hear Persian now is Reza “I’m Persian Duhh” and Asa “persian pop princess”.

    I thought their culture encouraged women to eat so what’s with the “lets gang up on the thickest girl”. Even if she didn’t take up for GG they would have still pounced on her. Reza is getting fat and trying to still be a “skinny bitch”. Lilly may b a commission check to him but she also is in his eyes a Spin Off show partner as well. He and Asa have disappointed me this season. I’m not looking forward to another season.

  16. jakiesmom

    Tamara, yet again a great blog. Spot on!

    I enjoyed the show last year and like many liked Reza and Asa very much but this year it seems they have either changed or their true colors are coming out. I am not feeling either, so much that I find myself turning the channel when their pomposity becomes too much.

    IMO Lily is neither bright or pretty and her personality is vile. She was correct, when she stated she “eludes” sex appeal insted of exudes it. I thought her sister was much prettier and much more natural than she is. Lily claims to not be stirring the pot but all her conversations with Reza including when they were in his office show otherwise as do her talking heads.

    Asa came off as down to earth last year but this year it seems that she is not only materialistic but a bit full of herself. Unfortunately for her the Jacksons no longer hold the stature they did at one time.

    Reza is an opportunist and his passive-aggressive behavior is hard to watch. I don;t blame MJ for not trusting him. I am not sure how anyone who watched his behavior would ever in the future.

    GG isn’t worth my time writing about but I feel for MJ. She may be damaged but she is loyal, has shown she is a good friend and doesn’t deserve to be bullied by those who once claimed to care about her. The scene in her office where Reza is giving away her desk in her office was painful to watch. I hope she has found new friends who are better to her and for her than Reza.

    Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and thank you Tamara for giving us a lovely place to come and air our thoughts.

  17. Just a long thought

    This is random but watching this episode it brought me back to the time when mj went with Reza to see his dad in NY. isn’t it kinda messed up to go to a family gathering with cameras under the impression (in the family minds) to show off your culture but really intend to put your family business on front street. I’m not saying he is wrong for expressing his feelings but if you are trying to make things right the last thing you do is embarrass people at the same time. And to put out on WWHL that your mom isn’t speaking to u because of u kissing men on tv. Who wants to see their children making out on national television and telling their family business. Im all for being proud of who you are but as a daughter I wouldn’t do certain things on tv.

    I say that to only illustrate two things; the start of Reza falling into the trap of fame at all costs and his lack of family connection is what is also driving him to push away Mj. He would have done it eventually. He has just as many issues as Mj with abandonment. While she chooses co-dependency and alchohol, Reza chooses obsession (fame, weight. sex, acceptance by those he deme attractive)

  18. Steadyles

    Is it just me or does Reza sound just like the old-school cartoon character Snagglepuss?

  19. mina

    Jermaine Jr…. Made me feel like I should shower. His manner of speech, weird accent, the way she called him Daddy (wtf), and looked made me feel like I accidentally walked in on someone screwing a hole in a tree with one of those head mask things on their heads. Kinda nauseated, woogly, horrified, icky, and greasy. Like when you have a stomach virus. Blech..

    • beebee

      what world do you live in..sophisticated, sweet soft voice wasnt an accent….that man had swagger and fine as hell!!! are you really a man??

  20. RVA

    I did wonder…if Asa is so broke, and her mum is making $30K per year (did they ever say if her father worked?) , how is she burying gold coins and driving an expensive car? I would assume she’d have dug up those coins to help out?
    Did they portray her family as not well to do last season?
    anyway, thanks for the great blogs, as always.

  21. I really hated them all when I watched Sunday’s show. It seemed more scripted than usual. Like watching The Hills.

    And I said WHY? Why is Reza gluing himself to the shallow, shrill puddle of crutch juice. Then he told me. He is looking for a big commission out of her. He has thrown away his friend for money.

    The hardest thing to believe is Keller(so?) Williams. They obviously paid for brand placement. Their firm name and logo were peppered gratuitously through the episode. As a result, I would never list or actively hire an agent of theirs. The most unprofessional behavior and complete lack of customer service. Could you imagine listing with or using any of them to look for a property? What if someone made an offer on your home while mj was rolling around her floor drunk and trying to put together kmart table?

    Mj is particularly sad case. Drinking alone. Talking to her dog. Carrying on cellphone conversations discussing her deepest secrets, fears and outrages — while I think connected to the time and weather line. I think Reza was her only friend.

  22. Iced tea

    REza is trash pure and simple and he is vile and a filthy racist. he needs to go.

  23. L.M.

    TEHRAN is a Unicorn! Who’s ever seen a Black/Iranian man? Who’s ever seen a Unicorn? Same difference! That’s not racist–jerk! That’s drawing a parallel. Your hatred is laughable! And WATCH YOUR MOUTH ABOUT HOUSTON!!! I’m sure there are many reasons to hate on Lily–I haven’t found one yet. Sure, her hair is big–she’s from F’ING TEXAS! Doesn’t that make automatic sense???? EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas–including bank accounts. And Lily’s family has huge bank accounts! Like, Beverly Hills what? F@#$ Beverly Hills! Look up River Oaks! Lily’s folks are rolling in it… so if she never buys in B.H. she’s doing herself a BIG (Texas-sized) favor!

    • You are an idiot. Take several seats.

      • I just love you Tamera! I read all that you blog, obsessively, but have never left a comment. Until now, you are just too awesome. Your spot on blogs, your accurate reports, your great ability to call out those that speak so much bullshit, you are not afraid to tell it like it is. I am a dedicated fan. Best wishes to you.

  24. Fan of Shas of Sunset

    Who is the cute metro chic black guy that was at MJ’s birthday party bus…

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