It’s season two of Shahs of Sunset and we are seeing textbook season two changes. It happens every single time. It seems a bit worse on Shahs of Sunset because the cast of the show from the outset came in screaming about their wealth and ambition. We’re Persians! We love gold and marble and we sell real estate and look at how fabulous we are. That was the set-up. Last season focused on relationships among the cast. Relationships were exaggerated. Finances were exaggerated. Season two comes and now everyone is “famous.” Everyone feels like the star of the show. Everyone has their role, the villain, the gay guy, the peacemaker, the eccentric artist, the eye candy everyone knows the expectation. I’m not going to recap this fiasco in the usual way, I’m just going to talk about the roles we see them falling into for season two.

Let’s start with GG. Clearly she is the villain, she knows it and she likes it. Last year she got a reaction with her knives and tasers and guns and anger so it will be escalated this season. I am who I am. She’s Kenya from RHOA mixed with Ramona from RHONY. Expect a fake boyfriend storyline. Expect lots of drunken drama. Expect the expected. Typical line from last night “I would like to cut your face right now!” Interestingly enough, instead of trying to sell her non-exsistent hair extensions they are going to let her sister point out that GG, the “marketing person” has no idea how much the extensions sell for.

We have Lilly, aka the Persian Barbie. She’s Alexis Bellino from RHOOC. She’s “rich!” She’s a “designer!” She will be the first person to tell you how fabulous she is and how everyone is just jealous of her. People don’t like her not because she is a camera whore, or because she feels the need to mention in every scene how much money she has, people don’t like her because she is jealous. “When people dislike me for no reason at all, it kind of turns me on because it makes me realize how fucking fabulous I am. If someone is going to dislike me? That’s jealousy!”

We have Asa. She’s a singer. She’s an artist. She’s the inventor of water. Her meeting with the “water master” where she says,  “I have a vision of the most pure beautiful water for super hydration that has ever existed.” Reminded me of Luann meeting with the apparel distributor saying she has a vision for… you know some kind of clothing line. Or that one blond from RHOOC who found out that opening a gym is expensive.  The guy’s face was priceless. He is at times unable to hold back laughter. His lips totally disappear as he is trying to hold in the laughter. Asa seems shocked that it will take 50-100K for bottle design and engineering. She replies, “Wow, I have to be sure I can get the money.”  And one would assume a large quantity of diamonds. Who knew the wettest water ever would be so expensive. I guess she won’t be helping her family who is living on 30K a year anytime soon.

Mike has apparently decided to join the residential real estate company Reza and MJ work for so that he can work with Reza. Mike is Mauricio without the clients. I loved how the broker asks Mike what he knows about the company and Mike looks at the guy as if to say, “Um this was not in the script, I was told I could just work here.” I can’t wait until he discovers that despite Reza thinking that residential agents spend all day at the office, that out in reality they are out hustling for listings, canvassing neighborhoods, networking at lunches and caravans and mostly come to the office to write up paperwork.

MJ is starting out the season with her gay best friend already mad at her. On top of that, Reza’s script calls for him to introduce Lilly to the group. MJ says about cyberstalking Lilly, “Someone has to vet her. I saw a nude torso with a dog in her breast and I thought that was dog endangerment!”  MJ has seen the writing on the wall with Reza and based on her personal issues is always ready for abandonment. Prepare yourself, MJ because Reza is jumping ship and he’s going to exit with some nastiness. MJ is Kandi.  She’s trying to film with everyone and not get involved in the drama but she’s pissing everyone off in the process.

Reza is dialing it way the fuck up this season. He’s Nene. He’s going to bite MJ because he feels justified. Apparently, there was a mean mass email from GG and Reza feels like MJ should have dropped GG like a hot rock. According to Reza’s blogs it looks like he has made up with GG to a degree. So if MJ had severed ties, where would she be now? Alliances shift like crazy with this bunch. I think her trying to avoid picking sides is her only chance at survival. Reza is going to talk smack about GG and MJ all season just like Nene did with the smalls last season. It’s the script. The difference is, Nene was not close friends with any of the smalls before the show. Reza has known MJ forever. But now that he is a star…/shrugs. MJ will get over it. Reza sits at his little table in MJ’s office spitting insults at her. “You two are two peas in a pod! You should align yourself  with her!”

Next time we get to hear about Reza having an armpit fetish. Oh and more fighting between Reza and MJ.