Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Everyone Just Shut the Fuck Up!

RHOBHBrandiSurrogateConfrontationOn this week’s recap of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we are back at Mauricio’s big business launch party and everything has gone to shit. Taylor and Brandi’s gay friends are asking if they are okay. Well okay, allegedly gay. Darin is supposedly straight. Kyle of course blames Kim for ruining Mauricio’s event. Because, you know it just organically happened and Kyle had no idea about the script. So she once again throws her recently rehabbed sister under the bus. Mauricio on the other hand did read the script. By the way, Mauricio looks like shit. Is it the beard or what? Mauricio’s script says to fuck with Brandi rather than defend her from Paul, so that is what he does. That makes him look even worse. Brandi apologizes.

Camille is trying to cover for Adrienne as a fellow surrogacy mom. Camille is says “We don’t know if it is true.” Oh bullshit everyone knows, Camille. At least you didn’t take pictures of a pillow shoved up your dress to make your kids think you birthed  them. Allegedly. According to the script. Don’t sue me, sue Bravo, again. Public knowledge. I have not money, etc. Kyle says to Kim,” You don’t have to be rude to me.” Um, irony? Thy name is Kyle.

Taylor is sooo overacting. She looks at the camera and asks how her lips look. Okay she doesn’t but there was a thought bubble over her head. Camille and Taylor both think Brandi saying that Adrienne used a gestational carrier? surrogate? to carry her kids is wrong. It’s not like it was a big secret it was one of the first things on the blogs when RHOBH hit the air. Brandi was not telling us something we did not already know. Adrienne and Paul bringing a lawsuit make it a HUGE deal. Bravo airing the scene with no sound made it EVEN HUGER because IT WAS ALREADY OUT THERE!.

RHOBHBrandiOjaiTaylor is reaching for storyline trying to say Camille talking about Taylor’s abuse is the same thing. Camille shuts her down saying, this is not about you Taylor, we get a storyline this season too, dammit! (I paraphrase). Brandi’s hair and vest is unfortunate. Kyle now wants to blame Brandi for saying the truth in the first place. Allegedly, according to Brandi. Sue her. She is getting book royalties soon for  a book that she wrote only slightly more than Teresa Giudice wrote a cookbook or three. Not me. No one reads this blog anyway. Look! I barely have ADs at all!

This is when Camille falls out with Brandi. Way to pick the wrong side Camille. However, according to the script, Brandi has lots more bashing to come, so for airtime purposes, I suppose you’ve made the smart decision. Plus you could pick up some of Adrienne’s properties for cheap here really soon. Carry on. Did I mention Brandi’s unfortunate outfit? It was horrid from head to toe. She leaves with Darin. Another stunt boyfriend?

Kim goes to Pilates as part of her therapy. Kim says Kyle started the whole thing at Lisa’s party. Kyle lit the fuse. I told Adrienne what she needed to know. Oh, Kim, your brain is starting to work! Kim has AA meetings set up all over Las Vegas and even has meetings that will come to her room! She is feeling very supported by her daughters.

RHOBH3Mauricio is being a dick. He wants her to uninvite Brandi. But he knows he and Kyle are too classy for that. Ummhmmm. Next Kyle goes to get Faye to be the bitch at the party. She invites her to the dining room and fills her in on who to go in on. I believe it is Ana from RHOM who likes to quote the age  old adage, “Show me your friends and I will show you who you are.”  Why wasn’t Faye at the opening for Mauricio’s agency if she is BFF’s with Kyle? Gee Bravo, plothole much? Clearly a back shoot to cover the script.

Oh look it’s a Vanderpump Rules ad in the middle of RHOBH. SHOCKER!

Oh I had forgotten about Yolanda. Look at her. She is very athletic. Who cares. She wants to out live David. Who could blame her?

Brandi shares with Lisa about the Mauricio event situation. She shares that Adrienne is the one feeding storyline to Radar Online. Lisa gets now that Adrienne was the one actually selling stories. Adrienne doesn’t need the money but she needs the publicity. This is how it ALL got leaked once again during filming. During the divorce, one went to TMZ and one went to Radar Online. Because, you know it is about the children.

RHOBHKenhospitalKen is doing great after his surgery. He’s busy screwing with Lisa (not like that just yet as she has gates installed in the driveway of their new house. Brandi goes to see Ken after surgery and he is doing great running around the garden. He flashes Brandi his scar. It’s pretty big! I hope he hired a plastic surgeon to do the closure.

Kyle is having a dinner party for eight women so she hires a caterer. I guess this makes sense. It makes things a lot easier, It is the intro of the new “friend of the housewives” Marisa Zanuck. She is I believe a realtor who used to work with Mauricio. Ugh Faye Resnick is there. I think the men at the door with big weird drinks is odd and not really welcoming. Let me get in the door first. And I’m a drinker! Brandi is nervous. She tends to say inappropriate things when nervous. Lisa is already trying to reel her in. Brandi looks two feet taller than the other girls. Seriously.

Kyle has placecards. I mean Bravo has placecards.  Kyle thanks Faye for decorating Kyles new dining room.  Yolanda is not there because she is at Donna Summer’s funeral with the love of her life. Kim is on her Vegas trip with her son for his 21st birthday. Kyle was not invited. (Sorry I got caught up in The Voice so I am sort of blogging out of order here, think of it as Bravo editing). Adrienne did not come because she’s too pissed off. Brandi’s boobs need a bra. Lopsided. I’m just saying. I’m big on undergarments. Kyle is saying that Adrienne does have a book deal. Brandi said her book agent says she doesn’t. Brandi says she may have bought one since Ojai and that is apparently the cure for Faye Resnick’s line.

Faye says that is an over the top comment. Is Faye friends with Adrienne? I dunno. Brandi makes it clear that Adrienne doesn’t know her. So I am hoping Brandi tells her to shut the fuck up. But it seems she is on a short leash tonight. Kyle says they should try to mend fences because the all have to film together things to celebrate together. Kyle does not want to be in the middle. Faye wants to know what Adrienne did to upset her. Brandi basically says without mentioning filming that Adrienne wanted her to take her side against Lisa at the last reunion and she would not so she became Adrienne’s enemy number one. Oh wait, she actually mentions the reunion. Faye’s role is obviously to shit stir again.

RHOBHBrannotsorryLisa in a talking head points out that Faye is Kyle’s mouthpiece. So while Kyle is sitting there like butter would not melt in her mouth, Faye is going to do the dirty work. Brandi asks why Faye is so interested out of everyone at the table and we get the regular housewife lie.  Faye say’s “Oh, I’ve known Adrienne for 25 years.” if that is true it would be a first in the history of Bravo. Wait WHUT? Faye’s step daughters were dating the Maloof brothers? Does this make sense to anyone else? I’m trying to have a beer here and am not looking into this shit tonight. But how old is Faye to have been married 25 years ago to someone with girls who were of age to date Adrienne’s brothers. I believe she is the baby sister, am I wrong there?

Faye asks a practical stranger, Brandi, “Have you called her and apologized?” REALLY? What is up with the Bravo script. I believe we are still on the salad course here Faye. I realize none of you actually eat but there is a certain cadence to dinner that is not conducive to butting in to a serious personal issue of someone you don’t know from Adam before the meat dish arrives.  If Brandi is not going to say I am, “Shut the FUCK Up, Faye!”  OMG. LOL I just hit play and Brandi says, “I don’t know Faye from Adam and she should just shut the fuck up!” I’m psychotic. psychic! Jewelry interjection. I love the cuffs Kyle is wearing at dinner.

Lisa Vanderpump Still Not Signed to RHOBH Season 3The script says for Brandi to send flowers point of dinner is to get Brandi to apologize and head off the lawsuit. Lisa points out Kyle’s hypocrisy and she starts with the finger in Lisa’s face. OH NOES DEAR, Lisa will not have that. Side note. LOVE the floral arrangement. Nice job whoever the florist is (clearly not the one Adrienne uses). Faye says Brandi is really not sorry because she is not sending flowers. Kyle’s talking head blames Brandi. This will not end well. Why does Faye even have a talking head. Faye says this is everyone’s business. Marisa steps in to defend Brandi. Faye is all, oh Marisa you don’t know Brandi. Brandi says, “Neither do you!” (point Brandi) Faye makes it clear she gets information from Kyle that makes her dislike Brandi. Whatever Faye again, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Lisa is not speaking up enough. Faye shut Marisa down. Faye is calling Brandi out and saying Brandi is going to call her out now. Faye brings the Kim and Brandi fight  up.  Brandi tastefully leaves. Faye is the cuntiest cunt that ever cunted. What? I’m just saying.

Next week Taylor gets sued for everything including her wedding ring. Scheana and Brandi have a sit down. Oh Lord. Scripted or not this is going to be GOOOOOD, Y’all.


Filed under Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster

100 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Everyone Just Shut the Fuck Up!

  1. this is my first time posting —– all I have to say is —–
    Kyle is working my nerves.
    Faye, boo, you are not even a housewive. stop trying so hard.
    Taylor, get your life
    Kim, the only reason you are still on the show is because bravo is afraid of firing you and causing you to relapse
    I could go on and on about these extra heaux

  2. Collin

    Darin may be mildly retarded.

  3. redredrobin

    Great recap. Not enough from Lisa tonight.

  4. Ericzku

    Love how Adrienne says that Brandi is so terrible because “she doesn’t care about other people’s reputations”, and then we cut to her screaming about Brandi being full of drugs and leaving her kids by themselves. Way to care about someone else’s reputation, Adrienne. She sure doesn’t help her own case with this kind of hypocrisy!

    Also, I wish someone on any of these Housewives shows would know that the word is DISinvite, not UNinvite. Ugh. I’ve heard this so many times coming from (ostensibly) educated and successful people, who end up sounding like they couldn’t pass an 8th-grade English quiz.

  5. Gbell

    Faye Resnick is so sleazy. The look on her face during a solo screenshot of her, as she shoves her seafood fork in her mouth, made my skin crawl. She revels in her sleaze.

    • I agree. I also see an almost uncanny resemblance between Fay and Adrienne.. The hair color and style, and that face even. Maybe they had the same plastic surgeon? What a f-ing hag she is! I can’t stand that monotone voice either. She is a creepy woman and a nasty bully. Tamara have you heard anything about her being a new cast member on the show??. I won’t watch anymore if she is.going to be a regular cast member. Her and Kyle are together are as obnoxious and hideous as Jill Zarin Kyle already seems like she is writing all the scripts.

    • ViVaLaDiVa

      It was on both radaronline and reality tea. It was on the internet so IT MUST BE TRUE!!! :)

    • ViVaLaDiVa

      That was in response to TT um, waaay down there.

  6. Tamara I love you! I will say it again I love you! I so needed a good laugh after the horrid way I have been feeling since Friday. And reading your “discombobulated but very on point and accurate as hell tea” was just too funny for words. The constant interjections of your thoughts into your script were timed with flawless and hysterical humor.

    I agree with you, Maurice looks like shit and here is my reason why I think that is the case. Bravo scripted Maurice living his dream and launching his own agency…..for my money (not that I have any) I think Kyle wanted him to be more famous (on the show, you know the fake fronting that the cast does) and harassed him to leave his job and probably threatened him with no sex (Maurice you idiot, you almost had a good thing going there not having to go boinka boink with your hag face wife). Anyhow it is my thought that Kyle wanted to appear as richer than she is so this way when Maurice spends his money (or used Bravo and brand advertising to get free car for his daughter) it will no longer look like he is getting a Kathy Hilton connected handout but is doing this big success on his own. I mean why else would he tell us how high he was rated (has anybody verified his claims?) and how much his sales are worth. The stress of having to deliver the rich status goods to Kyle is showing (hint hint Mauricio remember Russell and what catering to Taylor’s rich dreams did to him?).

    I fell in love with Kim tonight and for the first time enjoyed the hell out of her, she is funnier when she is straight then when she is drinking, lol. I loved that she didn’t let her bitch sister get to her and actually basically told her to get the fuck out, I just loved it, loved it.

    As for dinner, notice how Kyle didn’t mind a bit when Faye ruined her dinner. Faye is the Kim G of RHOBH, I don’t think she is gonna be a housewife, too bad Bravo won’t tell her that so she would get lost. As much as I wish Lisa would have stood up for Brandi more, Brandi has also told Lisa she doesn’t need her to fight her battles so hopefully that is the reason. And I was so thrilled that Kim was smart enough not to take Kyle to Vegas with her or else being with that little hag sister would be just what it takes to have her running for a bottle and pills – allegedly of course.

    I am going to say it again, I don’t believe this is all about surrogacy or gestational carriers, I think there is a whole lot more and I say this because Paul forgave Brandi after he saw what Adrienne did to him, so I think that it was some other lie that Brandi spilled the beans on that caused Paul to act like an ass and bully on Brandi, granted he was angry but still not cool in my book. I am thinking maybe Adrienne swings both ways and that it was her reputation for bi that Paul was protecting. Adrienne’s standard line whenever she is cornered is to claim it is all about protecting the kids but that is just the smokescreen.

    And another thing, Tamara you and other bloggers have the talent of being able to uncover all sorts of good shit, so how come no one has yet shown and info on a lawsuit, wouldn’t there be a filing? Or is California, Beverly Hills area records not public? When one of the principals reveals the source of the law suit or I see a copy I will revise my theory but until then, I refuse to buy the what body and what egg produced the twins. That’s my belief and I am sticking to it.

    • ViVaLaDiVa

      i agree with you on “that which cannot be mentioned.” at first i was positive that it was the surrogacy thing. i have read rumors about that since the beginning of the show. then i was reading one of the bloggers on the new lynnnchicago blog, and they brought up some good points. say adrienne had used a surrogate – would that really be something to file a lawsuit against bravo? especially if it were true, what would the grounds? besides, kyle has described this “malicious gossip.” wouldn’t it be more along the lines of private information, or private business? now faye (YUCK) has said in interviews that brandi contributed to a and p’s divorce…but paul and brandi are friends now so it seems to be a secret that made adrienne look bad and not paul. apparently it wasn’t something paul was really worried about. brandi said adrienne has gazillions of dollars so we know she is still rich. i think the look that camille gave brandi at maurice’s party, when she said “i don’t know anything, do you kyle?” (or something along those lines) was so intriguing to me – it was like she was saying i do know, and you should have known better than to say it out loud! then the look between kyle and brandi before brandi leaves, there was definitely some kind of undercurrent there. i don’t know what to think now. adrienne obviously has enough money and clout to where none of the women want to mess with her. even lisa. brandi has apologized for saying ________________in the media and in her talking heads A Lot. i think she really regrets saying it, not because she feels bad, but bc she knows adrienne can chew her up and spit her out. and whatever it was, it was enough to where they filmed the reuinion immediately after filming for the season wrapped – so no viewer questions.

    • I don’t get why you keep thinking that the reunion happened right after filming.

  7. Not a Kim Z Fan

    Faye makes my ass itch – if I was Brandi not only would I have told her to shut the fuck up BUT I would have ignored the bitch all night. That is all…

  8. Babs, Maurico is very successful in real estate.

  9. Madame DuBois

    I was left searching for someplace to put down my thoughts about all of this latest RHOBH nonsense,but you, my dear, took care of that for me! I think I’m a little older than you, so I will save you the trouble of having to research the fact that Faye Reznick’s ONLY claim to fame is that she was Nicole Simpson’s BFF. Oh, and after that she had a tiny picture in Playboy. You know, cuz her “interior design” skills were SO awesome in 1996. Faye is older than dirt, making me wonder, what has she done to herself? I think injections with embalming solution is a real possibility in her case.
    Love your writing,ads or no ads!! Thank God for Marissa,right? Had it not been for her, the others would have made like “Hotel California” on Brandi (another age-related reference….”they stab it with their Steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast).

    RHOBH is starting to make RHOA look like a garden party. Discuss…

    • Welcome darling, I don’t reveal my age, race or frankly even gender but I give that one up a lot here. Thanks for checking in. You may check out anytime you like, but you can never leave! Follow me on the twatter and stuff. 😉

  10. Vp

    Camille was right about Faye too. Dayum. S1 Camille had everyone’s number.

    • Not a Kim Z Fan

      Camille is actually a pretty smart cookie but I think her going on and on about how Kelsey is treating her is tragic mistake. Even if he’s wrong, her talking about it makes her seem petty. He hangs himself with his behavior, she doesn’t need to tie the knot. I think her script should focus more on her new boo and what must be a pretty fabulous life now that her money is really her own…

    • BAM!

      @ VP
      Lately I’ve been having the same thoughts about S1 Camille…maybe she really wasn’t batsh*t crazy for calling out Kyle and her shenanigans.

    • ViVaLaDiVa

      makes you believe camille when she said kyle told her “why would anyone be interested in you without kelsey there?”

      • I DO believe Camille. It is totally Vyle’s style when she is angry with someone. Vyle needs to put S1 on rewind and have a look at how fast FUCK comes out of her mouth when she gets the least bit annoyed or caught and confronted.

        The virgin look just doesn’t work for her when complaining about Brandi.

      • Good for you – very true

    • @ Not – that could be her storyline next season but it wouldn’t have worked for this season since the financial agreement giving her her money was just finalized this week and filming took place months ago.

  11. gilda s

    Am I the only one who loved the way Faye kept coming back at Brandi? I don’t really like Faye and I don’t care who put her up to it—Brandi need a taste of her own medicine.

    • Well, I think Faye went on and on and on in a holier than thou condescending manner toward Brandi to the point that I was annoyed. I thought stfu already you morally-corrupt-never-was-fame-whore! Nevermind that it was hugely inappropriate of morally-corrupt-never-was-fame-whore to bring any touchy subject up at a dinner party. If I was Brandi I would have told that old hag to f**k off and then walk out.

      The morally-corrupt-never-was-fame-whore Resnick is just an ugly mouthpiece for Kyle and is probably just hoping to get a regular spot on the RHOBH…ugh go away morally-corrupt-never-was-fame-whore!

    • Oh, gilda s, I was in, too, honey. Brandi needs to learn how to stop writing checks that her narrow behind can’t cash and ZIP IT.

    • Diana

      I loved it. Brandi can dish it with a big spoon but she sure can’t take it.
      She kept saying “the awful things they have done to me” without any conviction at all. As far as I remember Adrienne defended her all last season and the only thing that Brandi is emphatic about is Brandi contacting to say awful things about Lisa, well, that is not anything that would affect her personally, all she had to do was hang up the phone as she did.
      It is not Adrienne who got Brandi the DUI, it is not Adrienne who make Brandi go to las Vegas and get married as a prank and get divorced 5 minutes later, Brandi needs to take accountability of her own actions.
      Brandi has a flair for the drama and she knows that drama is securing her a spot on the show but this time she went too far and I am glad that somebody took her to task.
      I am dissapointed in Brandi, for being so ballsy, I didn’t expect her to pull out the fake cocodrile tears when her act doesn’t go her way, she loves to play the victim and most viewers are buying her cheap act, that can only translate in more book sales, so Brandi is on top of her game.

    • I disliked it simply for the fact, as everyone mentioned even at the dinner, Faye and Brandi don’t know each other. One of the actual HW’s should have been asking those questions. Then I’d have appreciated it more. As it was Faye was just trying to make herself relevant.

    • @gilda s et al. I don’t think you are alone but I am curious why you would say such a thing. Faye was not part of the group, is NOT an Adrienne bff, AND it is NONE OF HER BUSINESS.

      Would u see any purpose in someone off the street attacking Brandi as faye did? That was all it was worth except we had to look at and hear Rancid drone on about frickin flowers. I hardly think Adrienne would receive flowers and think ‘oh gee, Brandi must reeeeeeeeeally be sorry, so I must call her and thank her!’

      If flowers were the answer Fucking Faye (that rolls so easily! :) I can’t help myself), you wouldn’t be divorced like 5 times and such a hated person. Or perhaps the whore competition on Sunset has gotten too competitive now that ur older than dirt, that u don’t have the money to send flowers to everyone on the planet. I dunno.

  12. Jericho

    I didn’t mind Faye calling out Brandi. Brandi reminds me a lot of Tamra from RHOC who speaks right out of her ass for attention and then backs into a corner when confronted. If Adriene plot to pile up on Lisa then sure, go ahead and call her out on it, but the whole surrogacy thing should have never been brought up. And I find it funny that so many people are on Brandi’s side when last season everyone hated her, then she crawled up Queen Lisa’s ass and all of a sudden everyone loves her. Hypocrites.

    • smooches

      *applause* *standing ovation* for everything you just fonted

    • Kate

      Yes that is a good observation. Brandi is a lot like Tamra with her confrontation skills.

    • @Jericho I must disagree with ur assertion that ‘everyone hated’ Brandi last season.
      I sure didn’t and I saw many posts loving Brandi. Definitely more positive than negative.

      Secondly, why do u assume the ‘tell-all’ was surrogacy? Could have been Adrienne’s affair or any number of things. That’s the problem with crappy editing, peeps come up with their own plot line to fill in the gaps and it becomes ‘the new truth.’ The personal attacks are then posted accordingly.

      I don’t watch the other HW’s so I can’t comment on comparisons.

      @Kate Brandi didn’t confront anyone. She was the confrontee (is that a word?). She is always playing defense. Fucking Faye was the confronter and I must say I’m proud of Brandi for the way she handled it. She had every opportunity to bash Adrienne more or FF or even Vyle, but she didn’t. She rightly told FF it was btwn Adrienne and herself to resolve and would not discuss it. She said she regretted saying it and was trying to stop the other nosy peeps from further causing Adrienne harm. But they are too stupid and vapid to take an ‘in your face hint’ or STFU in the first place!

  13. I guess I am the only one on Adrienne’s side. As far as I can see, Adrienne has really done nothing to anyone. I don’t think Adrienne sold any stories to the tabloids, unless they were about herself. What does she get from it, nothing.
    It’s time to kick Kim off the show, she no longer has any relevance to anything.
    You can see Faye is desperately trying to become the next housewife, she could be very interesting, she likes to stir up trouble.
    BTW Tamara, Faye is 55 yrs old, the oldest one on the show.

    • Willow

      I have always liked Adrienne. I think whatever Brandi said about the use of a surrogate was totally out of line, but I like Brandi too, she just has a big mouth at times. Faye Resnick is totally trying to be a regular housewife, and looks like 20 miles of bad road on her face, and with her past, should not question anyone about their behavior . My first time posting too, love your blog!!

    • @ Stephen Fair enough. But Brandi has said numerous times that things Adrienne did to her were off camera. And none of these women are friends when the camera stops. Never were and never will be.

      Except FF and Vyle. But FF is not a HW only a mere wannabe.

      I don’t disagree about Kim, but perhaps from Kim’s POV, it is HER opportunity to show the world who she is sober. I know she needs the money and wants to get back into acting. Except if this is “what she’s got” so to speak, she might want to find another line of work. Her ad-lib skills are nonexistent-IMO.

      @Willow, peeps are assuming Brandi said surrogacy, but we don’t know the facts. IMO-it is hard to believe Adrienne would overreact to something so trite in the whole scheme of things. Unless perhaps it was not her eggs and she’s real touchy on the subject. Nonetheless, Brandi should have been respectful of Adrienne’s privacy, but she knows that

  14. DD

    Why not be angry w/Adrienne and Paul for making a scene, as well? Why didn’t the both of them simply walk away and leave a message apologizing for their quick departure? Kim had a point, Kyle did start the fuse (Bravo, I mean). I think that Brandi handled herself well; however, if there ever was a time to say “Shut the fuck up,” this was the time.

  15. Housewivesfan

    Last nights episode seemed very scripted to me…i thought the same thing last week too. I will probably give Lisa’s new show a try but i don’t care for the obvious ad for it during rhobh. I am already annoyed with the Brandi/Adrienne drama and i have a feeling this will last all season. I also think there is more to it than just the surrogacy issue so i hope it comes out and whatever it is they can actually talk about it! On another note i wish they would show more with Yolanda….im thinking she doesn’t have much of a story line or has already decided she doesn’t like these women and skips out on filming.

  16. Well…well..well…about last night. First off what’s the deal with Camille?? You got off the Housewives so why have you been in every episode so far and gone with the ‘wives’ on their outing to Ojai?? It seems like she want the attention
    but wants to control what is seen by the viewers, kinda like wanting to have kids but not the problems of pregnancy and giving birth, or like wanting children but having to hire a dozen staff to raise them, I’m sure she was there for the good night kisses though. I think she should either get on the show as a wife so we can see whats going on in her private life or get off the show and just make occasional visits like we see with the other new wife, Marisa. Then there is the return of the “morally corrupt” Faye Resnick. Is she going to be playing the role of Kim Duh from RHONJ? She seems to be Kyles ‘wing-man’ ready to protect her and stirring the post so Kyle can rise above doing such things, just like Kim did for Teresa. Seems like maybe Bravo has a new storyline, it worked in NJ so why not try it out in BH, I expect to see it in more housewives series. As for Mr. Mauricio Umansky, did you happen to forget season 2 episode 16 titled ‘Uninvited’ when you and Paul meet her and Russell at the door and walked them back to their car, as you were making the comment about Kayle and you having “more class then then and you’re not going to stoop to that level?” I’ll admit the circumstances were different but before you start telling how you are better than other you need to think before you speak sometimes. This is your third season on the show and you know how things work, if you don’t want your wife associating with ‘those type’ of people then maybe you should speak to your wife about leaving the show. Taylor needs to get off the fence and try to stop agreeing with everybody, she is never going to pull the wool over the viewers eyes and reinvent herself like Camille did between season, just saying.

    • Housewivesfan

      I heard Camille (or Bravo) didn’t make a decision about her being a full time housewife until after filming began…which is making sense because as you pointed out she is at everything but has no opening line.

    • But if she is going to be in all the episodes this season then she is a full time housewife and should have been added to the opening clips like the other wives.If she isn’t in the cast next season, then that’s when they should have taken her out.

  17. smooches

    I loved everything Faye was giving to Brandi…and I adored Mauricio even more last night…he was beyond right…you can’t just go around saying what you want to say without consequences, and Brandi these are the consequences…she’s still a twat…she wanted attention and now she’s getting it…Lisa is beyond annoying at this point…she def thinks so highly of herself…concerning Kyle and Kim, they love each other but obviously don’t like each other…all siblings are not meant to be friends…it is what it is…Kyle and Mauricio rock…they are as real as it gets…Faye giving it to Brandi raw and uncut made me giddy…judge if you must

    • We need to put Brandi where she belongs….just because she’s in Bev. Hills compliments of marrying money, does not release her from the trailer park mentality she has, she’s 100% hood rat, period.

      My issues are with Yolanda….Why is the woman on the show? She’s boring as hell, stuck up and typical of women of wealth who think spending your life trying to be skinny somehow validates you as a human being worthy of wealth. I’d rather watch paint dry than have to deal with this one…Bravo are you listening?

    • smooches

      I don’t know why Yolanda’s pretentious ass is on the show…she can’t tell me she’s never seen an episode…I could give a fcuk about her exercising or injecting herself with animal fetuses…she’s annoying

    • shellbelle

      Brandi is in Beverly Hills because she married money? HA! Have you taken a look at the house she lives in? Her douchbag ex husband married money when he married LeAnn. Last time I checked Eddie wasn’t nominated for any awards with his acting skills. Taylor married money, Yolanda married money ( several times it seems), Kyle married money ,Camille married money… So, you’re saying send Brandi back to the trailer park? Because she tells it like it is?

  18. smooches

    and apparently Eddie has been dipping his stick around town way before LeeAnn so why is she so victimized…Brandi is def one of those chicks that can dish it but can’t take it

  19. LeeC

    If Bravo continues to give Faye her own talking heads I may have to off myself. Her voice sounds like a lawnmower driving over razor blades and stray cats. That whole dinner party scene was just ridiculous, and kudos to Brandi for calling her out on being an attention whore. (Also, is Faye black? Googling didnt produce any legit answers)

    On a side note, the fact that Adrienne and Paul are making such a big deal out of “surro-gate” is a total admission of guilt. If Adrienne had carried her children, she would have laughed this whole thing off as being completely ridiculous and thrown down some pregnancy pictures to put an end to the whole thing.

    I can’t wait to see more of this Marisa woman, she looks like a pinup girl loaded with botox.

    • I like that “Surro-Gate” Let’s hear the rest Brandi, we can take it. Wasn’t the lawsuite dropped? What can the suit be about anyway? Defamation of Character? It’s not evil to have a surrogate, so if you didn’t use one, just say, I didn’t use one. Here, check out my womb.

    • LeeC

      I’m guessing slander? But it’s only slander if it isn’t true, so I’m not really sure. My only guess is that Adrienne’s children don’t know, and she wants to keep it that way. Camille used a surrogate and isn’t shy about it, so I don’t see why it should be such a big deal. I understand that every reality TV star has certain aspects of their life that they’d like to keep private, and I do believe they are entitled to that. That being said, if this is as well-known as Brandi says it is, Adrienne should have foreseen this happening in one way or another. Whatever, makes for good TV. I’m assuming Adrienne has stopped filming as well, wonder if she’ll turn up at the reunion?

  20. Monihew

    Perfect description of Faye! This episode made my blood boil.

  21. KAM

    This recap was hilarious and spot on Ms. Tamara. Camille shutting Taylor “It’s all about ME” Armstrong down last night was priceless. Mauricio does look like shit, and seemingly has conveniently forgotten that he and Kyle ARE in fact, the kind of people who uninvite guests to their home! I guess he wasn’t present at last year’s party when (the then normal and calm) Paul Nassif had to take control of the Taylor/Russell situation?

  22. Tamara your recap was spot on. Just one aside to make, remember the old, old days anyone, of Sonny and Cher when they began, sonny with his fur vest and cher with her long black hair. Thought of that when I say Brandi and Kyle together. I got you babe. But I digress…

    No more Faye!! Please, get real. She is the worst actress in the world and cannot deliver these primo Housewife story threads with any conviction. And isn’t it funny to watch the people who are not in on the story lines that are being pushed? The gay guys, both looking dazed and confused – “I don’t know what happened… A man just came up and started screaming…” And god bless Taylor (never thought I’d say that) when she called out Mauricio. “You would never scream ‘bitch’ to a woman, Mauricio,” and he was cornered. He was supposed to follow the script and support Paul and Adrienne but his natural macho pride wouldn’t let him actually say he’d attack a woman. Well played, Taylor.

    And what was that nonsense he said about him and Kyle being too classy to UNinvite someone to a party? How soon they forgot that they UNinvited Taylor and her husband to their White party – at the door of the limo. “Don’t bother getting out I’m UN inviting you. But I feel really bad about it. Look I have tears in my eyes. MAKEUP!”

    The poor Zanuck lady? Her facial reaction was so clearly WTF? to Faye. I’m talking here you creepy, greasy woman. Can’t stand Resnick and I will not watch if she’s in many more episodes. Seeing her w/Kyle is like watching the grandma version of Mean Girls.

    Is Yolanda’s participation actually an infomercial?

    Poor Lisa – the moment she opens her mouth Kyle is shrieking at her, no wonder she’s appearing at fewer and fewer of the festivities. Kyle’s method of winning arguments is to yell louder than anyone else. Well, that’s my way of winning arguments too, but still…

    Stay home with Ken, Lisa. He’s got your back. I’m hoping that Lisa’s new show is not the sleaze fest it looks like it will be and that Brandi is in that one too, that way I can ease out of RHOBH altogether. I can take Kim too now and Camille. Ok, those four only – Lisa, Brandi, Kim and Camille. The others, please just go away.

    And I never though Mauricio was so hot anyway. I prefer Ken. But I’m old.

    Did I mention no more Faye????

    • You: I’m hoping that Lisa’s new show is not the sleaze fest it looks like it will be…….

      Seriously? Where it not for the sleaze, Lisa would have no show….as dignified as she tries to be, she’s about as close to sleaze as they come. Look not only for sleaze, but Queen bee pretending she’s shocked by it…I just hope it doesn’t give SUR the reputation as a STD eatery, servers ***** in the bathroom ain’t sanitary at all, not at all!!!!

  23. So the big hush hush is all about Adrienne and Paul using surrogacy to carry their kids? That’s the big secret? As if Paul and Adrienne actually have sex? Not surprised at all!!

    • Diana

      I think the issue is not the surrogacu in itself, the issue is that Adrienne hasn’t told her kids about it and was probably waiitng for them to be a little bit older to let them know.
      There is also rumors floating around regarding some especifications in the Maloof Sr. trustfund that would forbid Adrienne’s children (if she is not the biological mother) to inherit any of the money from such trustfund.
      Maybe that is the reason why Adrienne was os upset because this not only affects her but also her children.
      Whether true or false, it was not Brandi’s place to say naything about something that is none of her business.

  24. Camille originally rejected Bravo’s offer. I think full housewives have to be willing to have things filmed in thier home and Camille didn’t want them to. So they offered to demote her to “friend” and she didn’t want to take a pay cut so Bravo said, well… whatever. At the last minute Camille agreed to the friend thing. So she’ll be at pretty much everything but will not film at her house. I think I posted about it at the time if you do a search.

  25. gemkandi

    I am not even going to bother watching the show as this re-cap was brilliant. Yes, and the use of cunt was extremely appropriate! It has made my day!

  26. stephey

    I don’t get this whole Adrienne thing, either you were pregnant or you were not and usually people know if you were….and you can’t sue someone for telling the truth, so it’s just does not make sense to me.

    • someone else – somewhere else – said Adrienne actually talked about having used a surrogate in the episode where Brandi’s little son peed on the lawn, sending the delicate ladies into a dither. I guess it was from seeing a dick longer than their husband’s.

  27. Oh, God! Kyle is NOT wearing a circa 1988 gown its a fucockting JUMPSUIT!

  28. Because of the way the comments come into my inbox, I am now picturing Kelsey Grammer’s tiny penis adorned with rhinestones.

    I post this so you are all forced to share in my misery.

  29. Aretha

    If Faye is Kyle’s mouthpiece than Brandi is Lisa’s. This cast is starting to get like RHONJ where the majority of the cast is not likable. Brandi is at the top of the list of RHOBH I don’t like. It’s not her job to call out people as she is not the most truthful person in the world. Also if Adrienne lied about birthing her own children who cares. Its the same as if someone was adopted and the mother claims she had them. Its personal for a reason. I think Brandi goes a little bit overboard.

    • smooches

      you better preach!

    • GumboYaYa

      Amen! Bout time somebody else caught on to what is actually happening. Lisa sits back and allows Brandi to be her attack dog! Meanwhile, Brandi gets airtime that segues into Lisa’s new show. That’s Brandi’s payoff for not challenging Lisa’s decision to feature one of Eddie’s mistresses on Lisa’s show.

      Brandi…those Beverly Hills women are using you because you’re out of your league.

  30. I am also growing tired of this Adrienne Brandi slugfest. It makes no sense, Adrienne already said she used a surrogate so wtf. It’s as stupid as the fight between Adrienne and Lisa. Paul and Adrienne demanded an apology for Lisa saying the “maloof poof” and thought it was on the same level as Adrienne calling Lisa a liar on the reunion show. It doesn’t make sense. The show is grasping for anything.

    Can we say goodbye to Kyle and Faye? Sister Sludge.

  31. Cami

    This weeks episode was everything and more. I love how Kim stood up to Kylie. She is always trying to make her sister look bad even when she’s trying to do better. Although I do agree that Kim should have told them the tea at a later time ( Paul and duck face.) Taylor please have several seats and try to find some other man you can con out of his money. Brandi boo I love you but please stop falling for the okay dope and telling them everything. Kylie only invited you because she knew you would run your mouth. And that whole thing about you not coming if Adriann was invited was some bull. I would have showed up reguardless and showed out. Lisa was right to read Kylie who only spoke up when mug face Fye stfu. Speaking of mug face how in the hell you try to get in the middle of something that has NOTHING to do with you. You and duck face have not been friends and your only sticking up for her cause you think Brandi looks better than you. That’s the only reason a insecure woman like you would take second hand information and use it to make yourself look good. Nice try but even Paul can’t fix that shit you call a face.

  32. susanna

    Tamara, Your blog made entertaining sense to the nonsense we all watched. I never liked bullies. Faye acted like the designated bully for Kyle and Adrienne. Faye, poor Faye. Bullying is such hard work, lines being fed and all, but someone has to do it. Made for another tacky hw dinner. When invitied to dinner, it would probably be a good idea to ask about the menu. If your the guest du jour, bow out.

    Would have liked to hear some sanity from the new housewife. The rest, that we heard, was self serving destruction. Was glad to see Brandi walk out. Bullies are not good for digestion or one’s health. They do make another dinner from hell, though. Wasn’t the first one bad enough Bravo? The obvious common denominator is Faye. I hope this is the last time Bravo plays the Faye card. That was over the top and well deserving of “everyone, just shut the fuck up!”

  33. P

    Will someone tell me what the big fucking deal is? So what if she used a surrogate, they are still her kids. Shame on Brandi for making an issue of it and shame on Adrienne for denying it – if it’s true.

    • Diana

      It is not that simple, if she used a surrogate it is not a big deal but is she the biological mother or were there egg donors involved? If she is not the biological mother, that would put her in a world of trouble when it comes to her children receiving their share of the Maloof trustfund.

    • Gcgb53191

      Can someone explain how trust funds work?

      I don’t understand, can’t Adrianne use her own money to start her own for her kids?

  34. Ash511

    Good freaking recap!

    I can’t w Faye! She’s trying her darnedest to earn a permanent spot on the show but she lacks personality & calling people out AINT personality! You can tell Adrienne is a liar because when she lies she’s kind of dead in the eyes (watch the reunion when she blamed Lisa for selling stories) I had a friend who was a pathological liar & she had dead eyes when she lied…

    A lil off the subject but if Faye gets her way and becomes a housewife wil she be the first black housewife in BH?? Just curious bec she looked pretty black in the pics w Nicole Simpson

    I don’t blame Kim for not invited Kyle I feel as if Kyle always reminds Kim that her life is out of control…she’s a crappy support system

    • I think Kyle uses Kim to make herself feel superior. She can’t best her sister Kathy, after all. Kathy hit the mother lode by marrying a Hilton. No, Kyle can feed her inner demons by making certain Kim stays needy and pathetic. As long as Kim is a loser, Kyle is safely not the worst sister. If Kim straightens up I don’t think Kyle could handle it.

  35. squibbles

    I try to watch this faithfully. Kyle is a snob this season. Faye is just a nosey bitch. I am really rooting for Kim this season. Taylor is annoying point blank (makes me want to hang myself) oops *smile* I Love love love Lisa, her no bullshit attitude rocks. Camille is ok. Adrianne is a whack job, sorry but Paul had her back then when they.separate she throws him under the bus.with.the abuse crap. Brandi I am still on the fence with but she is a lot like me. Get kitty backed in a corner and she will start clawing and fighting. It seems the ladies always back her in a corner especially Kyle with her snarky comments about everyone I hate to break it to you Kyle, but you don’t shit roses u have major warts like all of us.

    A real oc housewife

  36. susannah

    When Kim appeared with Kathy, they (seemingly) had a caring sister relationship. It was warm and comfortable, at least, on camera. When Kyle stopped by, things became icy. Think I read somewhere, that Kathy is very supportive of Kim and her going into rehab.

    Is anyone else annoyed at how competitive Kyle is with Kim, especially regarding their acting?. Kyle will talk over Kim to push her own self importance, ad nauseum.. Kim’s career was bigger than Kyle’s itty bitty parts, off and on. Impression is she’s jealous of Kim’s success, in the past, and any attention that it brings to Kim. Has to be all about Kyle.

    Speaking of “pit bull’s”, watching two “pbs” lunch and gossip in bh, was a curiosity. Isn’t that “pschological projection” when Kyle and Faye think it’s everyone else?

    • Agree with you completely. I think that’s why Kyle always shoves Kim’s face into her failures. Kyle’d be lost if she didn’t feel superior to Kim. And, ladies, my beloved dog is part pit bull and I am highly insulted that he’s being compared to those two bitches – or any of those bitches.

    • susanna

      You are both welcome. Aww, sorry about your cushion. Could have been worse, Kyle could have come over and really messed things up. 😀

    • squibbles

      I really do think Kyle recents Kim, maybe because she was the “Star” and she probably did support the family for awhile and Kim was the famous one and Kyle had pit parts and stood in Kim’s shadow, . It’s sad, because Kim is trying to get well and Kyle just keeps stressing her out, Kim said she has triggers because some of people she has to deal with, who knows what crap Kim has to put up with off camera from her sister, she has Cathy and her kids and probably some friends who are good support and hopefully a good therapist, that is all she needs, when Kim is unstable than Kyle has more control and Kyle has lost the control over Kim and she probably can’t stand it, so she says things to try to trigger Kim I(whether Kyle means it or not), but Kim needs to stay strong and if Kyle is a trigger than maybe Kyle and Kim need therapy together or the sad thing is sometimes siblings just can’t be friends. It sucks but it happens.

  37. I started to question Kyle when Kim and that strange man she was seeing met the group in Hawaii or whereever they went, and they arrived late, and missed the boat and then when they showed up for dinner Kyle kept attacking and attacking Kim I can’t help but think if she really cared for her sister that would be have held in private and not the bitch slapping that it turned into. Kyle used the whole thing as sympathy for her, instead of saving her sister the humiliation of being dressed down in front of cameras and strangers. I really thought that was sad.

  38. Jakiesmom

    Tamara, they seem to have taken down Faye Resnicks blog on the Bravo site. Any idea why (besides the fact that the comments were almost all negative)?

  39. Just now getting to watch so havent read recap or comments. Just wanted to make note of how nice Taylor and Brandi were to each other early in the episode, to the point of Brandi hugging Taylor before exiting Mauricio’s event.

  40. I’m just now at the point of Ken showing his scar. I had hip surgery almost 10 years ago (have to again some time in the next year) and my scars are even larger than his. I have 3 scars total from the surgery.

    • Ok am I the only one who wondered what the big deal was about Kyle’s dining room? I didn’t see anything special. It looked quite bland and normal. Not the extra something I would expect to see in a room that’s been a work in progress for over a year.

    • Today is Mayan day so we have to hurry. Glad the DR was brought up – my first thought was that it was a breakfast nook. Wasn’t her old DR much bigger? They did a photoshoot with Kyle on the table like a centerpiece and it seemed bigger. Or was that Teresa from New Jersey’s photoshoot? All blending together now…I’m feeling faint…Mayan end of world party last night was a bitch.

      Seriously, if these girls can’t get along for five seconds without tearing each other apart how are they going to keep this show going? So we know they’re not really friends but still, there are the obligatory dinner parties and Real Housewives Trips that the girls have to take so we can watch them snipe at each other. Is this going to be like New York where the fighting gets so bad that half the cast is fired?

  41. Faye hung up some stuffy heavy curtains,called it interior design and Bravo used it as a reason to have Faye at the dinner to shit stir.

    • Oh well hell any of us could do that though we’d look better doing it I’m sure. Glad you spotted the difference because it looked the same to me as last year during the white party.

  42. Damn! I was going to post here for the first time and was scrambling to think of something that hadn’t been discussed and it was the brand new dining room that Kyle just LOVES. Then someone said something on the last post about the dining room so I’ll just say more. White walls, heavy plain drapes (as someone already noted), a smallish (for the room size) oval dining room table that we coundn”t see because it was covered with a cheap tablecloth, no area rug. Wonder if I can convince Faye to come to Boston to diorite my house-such talent! But I’m also thinking that surragocy involved donor eggs. But is Adrienne’s family royalty where the lineage is so specific? And she’s the only daughter and hey, 2013 (nearly) so if she couldn’t have kids, hard to believe her family would cut them from the will. There just HAS to be something else. When was this episode filmed? And when did they decide on the divorce? Think it was ;last summer and filming took place before so it’s a biggie that prompted them to divorce. Hmm…

  43. Sources tell Radar, “It took a while, and several calls to Brandi. But, she finally gave in and forgave Paul. It was a really groveling apology that did the trick in the end. Paul realized he was out of line talking to Brandi like that and felt he was being egged on by Adrienne, who was also on the attack. He blamed Adrienne for his resentment towards Brandi, which he told her was completely unfounded. Paul eventually manned up and told Brandi that he still considered her a friend and the rest of the cast his family. Paul doesn’t see it as a betrayal to Adrienne, more a realization that he’s coming to his senses about her.” Now I know I’m obsessed with this – I’m starting to do research. Hope this is ok to post, if not Tamara just delete it.

  44. Bingo, you know I love you, but for me, could you only use the person you are talking about’s real name. It’s a pet peeve of mine.

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