I always love a good housewives trip and tonight on the Real Housewives of Miami, the ladies are off to Bimini for the weekend. I have been consistent since the season began that I am not fond of Karent. However, tonight I suspect I’m going to feel a bit sorry for her as the plan appears to be to have her frenemies drag her out of the country to tell her that her lover is cheating on her. That’s got to suck.
But first, We get Marysol trying to freeze Mama Elsa to death in Miami. How is this possible? Lea admits in her talking head she is just along to watch the carnage. Well, at least she is honest about that. Romain wants to go to Bimini, or he is pretending he is. I think secretly he is thrilled to have a weekend to horndog around. Mama Elsa is predicting a bad energy for the trip. I could have done that. But these RHOM women never ask me.
We are at the airport now and I am supposed to believe these women don’t know the difference between a pilot and a co-pilot? I myself check them both out before every flight. As many random anxiety attacks as I have, I’m not afraid of flying. As long as I am in first class or in the first three or four rows of coach. Just don’t put me in the back of the plane, I need lots of air.The girls are riding in a tiny prop plane but it’s only about a 45 minute flight. Anyway, the RHOM are enjoying mimosas and look lovely. Sadly I don’t expect Lea to pack much good jewelry for the trip which will leave her with no redeeming value whatsoever. “Adriana showed up at the airport like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America.” That is the Marysol quote of the show. Adriana forgot her passport. I lied about Lea she has on a fabulous green ring. Is it too huge to be a peridot? Okay I just saw a close-up and yes it is too big for a peridot. It’s a nice hunk of green quartz. Adriana got left behind. That is the first calamity. I swear I wonder if these women ever travel.
Joanna rented two houses, one is oceanfront one is bayside. They may not know how to fly but they know enough to know they all want to be oceanfront. Since this is Joanna’s trip she gets to divide the ladies. Naturally, she puts herself in the oceanfront with Karent, Lisa and Lea. This leaves Marysol, Ana, Adriana and Alexia in the bayside house.
It seems that my dear friend Alexia is going to be the one to drop the bomb on Karent. Apparently none of the other girls knew anything about it. Alexia is going to get advice from Lea, which clearly will be devious and horrific. The oceanfront house is stunning, but lest we forget, nearly all of these chicks live in oceanfront homes. I suppose they had to ooohh and ahhhh for the free stay. Joanna mention the name of the resort “that invited her” but even though I sort of cared I couldn’t make it out. Ah there is a catch. One master bedroom and the other rooms have twin beds. A riot is breaking out but I am quite sure Joanna will win the master suite as she was named “trip planner” by Bravo. Lea’s bed is a twin boat. Lea doesn’t care but Lisa is refusing to take a twin bed.
Sidenote: The editing is waaaaaay better than usual on this episode. It’s like they have a brand new editor. I didn’t even think about editing until the whole “get Karent to talk about her relationship” scene and even this seem almost genuine. Adriana finally arrives.
Okay, I could not imagine Alexia blindsiding Karent with this article for no reason. I’m quite fond of Alexia on a personal/Internet level. The story is that one of her writers from Venue (her Miami magazine) uncovered some information that Rodolfo is in a full blown relationship with someone from his telenova. So she is now tell the oceanfront clan what she knows and asking if she should tell Karent. So now I am good with the situation. Whew! Even Adriana feels bad for Karent. Alexia reads the article that says it was love at first sight for her the day she was invited on the show. The day she met Rodolfo something special between both of us sparked. What she likes the most about him is that he is a gentleman and treats her well. She’s beautiful and 24.
The girl’s name is Ana. Karent has accused Ana Q of texting Rodolfo and Ana denied it. Now we know which Ana was really texting Rodolfo. Interesting. There are now discussing what I thought when this storyline was first mentioned. How could Karent not know? The story they are reading is on the Internet. Lea is not sure that she believes it. She thinks it might be a publicity stunt.
At dinner the women demand Lea do a shot with everyone. I don’t understand why people who do shoots try to force other to do the same. I quit doing shots after a certain age and yet it’s still an issue. Lea claims she has never been drunk. At dinner everyone is thinking about and whispering about Rodolfo’s wandering eye. It’s awkward. Adriana seems anxious to get things out on the table. Marysol says “We’re all going to look like bitches.” This is actually more of the type of drunken ladies talk I’m used to. Joanna talks about being unsure of Romain. Lisa shares that she feels like she wants to work. Marysol talks about going through a divorce. Karent stands up to make a dramatic toast for a peaceful weekend. Ana has a sense of impending doom for her. As if on cue it starts to rain and they all move inside.
They get settled in and Lea says, “Let’s talk some trash” Adriana asks not-so-innocently, “How many people have been cheated on here?” and here it begins…Karent is one of the ones who tells a cheating story. Drunk girl shows up at the door at 3 a.m. when she was in dental school and living with her boyfriend. She said she was naive. Adriana, who really seems to be leading the drive says, “So do you think you could be being naive about Rodolfo?” Cut to Marysol talking head (God I love those) where she is rocking back and forth saying “Oh my God, shut up you are playing right into it.” Lea throws out, “Some people are just in denial.” Alexia says, “Karent, would you want to know?” and Karent says yes and it’s on like donkey kong y’all. The paper is about to come out of the bra.
AND MY DVR Makes me switch to Scandal. So I will have to pick up the last few minutes of Miami on the second view. I am only DVRing one thing. I don’t know why it won’t let me watch Bravo, dammit. Anyway. I’ll add the last five minutes of RHOM on later. I’ll fill the time with my DVRed Project Runway.
UPDATE: Now I am seeing the answer. Alexia tries to waffle. You can tell she doesn’t want to do this. But Lea threatens to bitch slap her and Adriana is egging it on so here we go. Adrienna is having a hard time pulling the trigger she pulls Lisa outside and says, essentially, “You are friends with Karent, what should I do?” I thought Lisa was in the group that knew but apparently not. Lisa says tell her. I must have the pants and jacket Lea is wearing. Someone find out what they are! I like that the girls are all conflicted about telling her. I was disapointed based on editing last week that they just ambushed her. Adriana seems very eager to do it but the rest are concerned.
So Alexia goes in to tell Karent in a small group of her friends.Karent says she is very comfortable in what she knows. RODOLFO IS CHEATING ON KARENT! But next week we will find out that Karent knew, it was all for the show, blah blah blah… ALLEGEDLY.
So did anyone watch with me tonight?