Okay so I am ready for RHOA now. I’ve only seen the last 20 minutes because I had to watch TAR. Next week should be the last week I have that problem but let me tell you even a simple recap takes me a couple of hours. You have to edit and get the pictures together afterward because you don’t know what you will need and do all the tagging by category despite the fact y’all never use THE CATEGORY LISTING CONVENIENTLY LOCATED IN THE LEFT SIDEBAR. Anyway. Let’s get this party started.
Short scene with Kim and the girls. The point was to say how much they love living in the condo. They probably do. It’s a nice size place and back in their old school district. My DVR won’t let me pause anymore because I am past an hour so… this will be frantic.
The go-cart scene with Kenya, Walter, Apollo and Phaedra. Kenya wants to “produce” Phaedra’s Donkey Booty video. Kenya is NOT a producer. She does not have a production company. I don’t have time to get started on all that. Kenya refuses to wear her seat belt on her go-cart until the staff makes her. Kenya and Apollo race. Apollo wins.
Peter and Cynthia drink some spoilt wine. And now it’s time for Nene and Gregg to pretend to reconcile from a split that never happened. This was during Nene’s black bra stage. At that time, Nene got this black bra and wore it under light colored blouses in EVERY picture she had made. Matisse had his blue period, this is Nene’s black bra period. Peter pretends he has an in on Anguilla. Are we not acknowledging this is a fake Bravo vow renewal thing yet? Oh there it is. The vow renewal thing is Peter’s surprise.
Porsha is an idiot. She’s convinced eating yams will make you have twins. Porsha actually asks the OB/GYN how to have twins. She doesn’t mention yams.
Kandi and Cynthia get together for lunch. Cynthia is rocking the I’m so pretty I can wear those ridiculous black glasses look and claiming she and Peter have connections in Anguilla. It’s called Bravo production, but carry on. Of course, if she ever got married on a destination wedding *cough* obligatory advertisement *cough* Anguilla would be the place. Kandi says they are planning the trip around Kim’s dates. Kandi states the obvious to Cynthia that Nene is very calculated and only befriends people if she has a motive.
Porsha has a little get together to discuss Hosea Feed the Homeless. LOL at Nene Leakes has her own battered women foundation. It was shut down because… well I have no time for that, because I can’t pause the TV. Then Porsha says we do this “265 days a year.” She wants Cynthia and Nene to shoot a PSA for Hosea Feed the Homeless. Porsha offers them some “reasonling” I think she means “Reisling.” Cynthia and Porsha have a glass but Nene insists on some Moscato crap based on her glass. You can take the girl out of the ghetto but… Nene seems to like Porsha because she is “a very good judge of character” despite not having any.
Kandi and Phaedra are real friends off the show. Perhaps the only two. Oh it’s a Bedroom Kandi advertisement. I’m gonna take a bathroom break. Wait. Whut I miss, Kandi is wanting to invite Kenya on the trip based on what? Someone is going to have to remind me how we are supposed to believe these to met and liked each other because I watch Kandi Koated Nights last week when DJOne was hating on her and her empty fake house and asking Kandi if she had ever been to her house and she said no. NO ONE is friends with Kenya because she does not live in Atlanta. Why is it always Kandi that production forces to pretend to like someone? They are not
“kegel balls” they are “Ben wa balls” google it.
Cynthia is the first to arrive to the luncheon to discuss Anguilla. Phaedra arrives with a beautiful white floral arrangement and an apology for Cynthia. It was all very mature. What’s up with that? Kandi invited Kenya to lunch because she wants her to go to Anguilla. Did I miss the scene where Kandi and Kenya even met? I missed the first 40 minutes and will be backtracking but, there was one scene and now Kandi and Kenya are BFFs? Okay now I have seen it. Kandi and Phaedra shopping and Kandi just says she wants Kenya to come? WTF? Such bullshit to integrate the new cast member who is neither a housewife nor from Atlanta.
I’m going to miss these Nene talking heads mocking Kim. Kim says she went to Anguilla last year when she was pregnant with KJ? Why am I not believing this? Her due date has been moved up twice? The cut off for flying is 28 weeks? No, Kim. No it is not. Wait, now she is 8 months pregnant? But she has eight weeks left. I swear this pregnancy time schedule changes every five minutes. Now she is going to Lake Oconee with Kroy the same week the girls are going to Anguilla after everyone rearranged their schedule around her? This is about to get ugly y’all. Kim has a hissyfit and leaves and we will see the rest of it next week.
So what did y’all think of the show?