Chris Brown’s Cell Phone Theft Case Has Been Resolved

chrisbrownjailAnd now in “Can Florida Get ANYTHING Right?” news…

I told y’all back in March that absolutely nothing was going to happen to Chris Brown for jacking that girl’s cell phone. But I’m here today to say I TOLD YOU SO! Here is how it all went down back in February.  Bascically, the cops said they wanted a warrant to hold Brown because they feared he was leaving the jurisdiction. The attorney general’s office said they should have just arrested him because now that they asked for a warrant, they have to do a whole investigation. Since Florida takes months to vote when every other state can do it in a few hours,  it’s taken them about the same amount of time it takes Jessica Simpson to have a baby to gather witness statements and figure out what to do. And Guess WHAT?

chris_brownfans_miami2012-wideDid you guess they aren’t going to do a thing? Well congratulations, you are correct! But at least we insured some job security for the Miami-Dade Attorney General’s Office for the past few months.  Apparently, the girl screaming on film, “Chris Brown just stole my iPhone!” or the witness statements, or a member of Chris Brown’s posse showing up at the police station to return the stolen property was not enough to convince them to prosecute.  At least, unlike the Casey Anthony jury, they got paid to spend months thinking about it, fly out to California a few times to interview people and consider all the possibilities before completely ignoring the overwhelming evidence.

According to Katherine Fernandez-Rundle state attorney for Miami Dade county, “The Miami Beach Police Department and my prosecutors have reviewed all of the evidence and taken the statements of numerous witnesses, many of whom were interviewed in California, and have determined we are not taking any type of criminal action regarding the incident. We have forwarded our findings to Los Angeles for the probation case review after conducting the same process that every criminal case in Miami-Dade County undergoes.”

Thanks, Florida. If nothing else you are consistent.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Chris Brown’s Cell Phone Theft Case Has Been Resolved

  1. they never too to much to celebs who are found guilty thanks to their high powered lawyers. fact is some ppl need to give these celebs some space when they appear in public and are minding their own business. noone want to be hounded all the time. least of all a celeb who has less free time on their hands than the average citizen. i’m not saying he should have done this but she could have asked. and i see a double edged sword here also where if a celebs phone was snatched you would be prosecuted. i go back to my previous point just leave them alone and watch em on tv or at concerts. they arent who they pretend to be anyway.

  2. Vp

    What a waste! Florida is a sewer.

  3. I’m glad you brought up this bit of “old news.”

    I won’t even direct this at the first commenter, because there are plenty ignorant folk who just don’t get it. Besides the cliche notion that he’s a celebrity and he solicits this kind of attention because it makes him insanely wealthy, it wasn’t paparazzi or some other dude hounding him. It was a female fan. If you’ve never had a phone snatched out of your hand by a grown ass man who has or is capable of beating your ass, let me explain. I have, and it’s an extremely aggressive act in itself.

    AND it constitutes felony theft. He is on felony probation, remember? Google the pictures of what’s-her-name’s face.

    I really hate being aggravated over some celebrity nonsense, but I don’t understand the tolerance for this type of behavior. Maybe because I went into a police station with 20+ texts and VM messages containing death threats from an unstable ex and I was literally told that he would have to “act out” before I could take any steps to prevent him from doing so.

  4. quyina

    why dont they arest him because if the lady said chris brown stole my i phone then she could be right or why dont they check him. he couldnt have done anything

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