I told y’all back in March that absolutely nothing was going to happen to Chris Brown for jacking that girl’s cell phone. But I’m here today to say I TOLD YOU SO! Here is how it all went down back in February. Bascically, the cops said they wanted a warrant to hold Brown because they feared he was leaving the jurisdiction. The attorney general’s office said they should have just arrested him because now that they asked for a warrant, they have to do a whole investigation. Since Florida takes months to vote when every other state can do it in a few hours, it’s taken them about the same amount of time it takes Jessica Simpson to have a baby to gather witness statements and figure out what to do. And Guess WHAT?
Did you guess they aren’t going to do a thing? Well congratulations, you are correct! But at least we insured some job security for the Miami-Dade Attorney General’s Office for the past few months. Apparently, the girl screaming on film, “Chris Brown just stole my iPhone!” or the witness statements, or a member of Chris Brown’s posse showing up at the police station to return the stolen property was not enough to convince them to prosecute. At least, unlike the Casey Anthony jury, they got paid to spend months thinking about it, fly out to California a few times to interview people and consider all the possibilities before completely ignoring the overwhelming evidence.
According to Katherine Fernandez-Rundle state attorney for Miami Dade county, “The Miami Beach Police Department and my prosecutors have reviewed all of the evidence and taken the statements of numerous witnesses, many of whom were interviewed in California, and have determined we are not taking any type of criminal action regarding the incident. We have forwarded our findings to Los Angeles for the probation case review after conducting the same process that every criminal case in Miami-Dade County undergoes.”
Thanks, Florida. If nothing else you are consistent.