Better late than never on this recap. Sorry. I had to watch The Amazing Race.  Um wait, hold up. Gregg is going to open an L.A. office? In what universe? Does he even have a job because he has been in Nene’s hip pocket for the past year everywhere she goes, he’s right there with her. I’m supposed to believe this man has a job? I love Gregg but that right there is just some straight up bullshit. They sure do have some fancy pedicure chairs up in this place. I love Gregg. Lawrence looks healthier in this episode but that belt? Gurrrrl! Just no.

Speaking of house husbands and their jobs. Apollo apparently doesn’t repo cars anymore. He’s going to be a personal trainer and nutrition specialist. Honey, I may get my fat ass up off this couch and go to the gym myself. Unlike the RHOA though, I want a smaller butt. What the hell is he eating and where did it come from? You know nothing has been cooked in that kitchen. He’s microwaving food from somewhere.

Kim says there is not a house for sale in Atlanta that is worthy of her. If y’all only knew what the housing market is like her. My property tax people actually slashed my taxes and sent me a letter telling me my house is worth like 50% of what I paid for it. This is the time to buy a house, Kim not a time to build. But no, Kim wants a house built just for her. Oh Kroy, what have you gotten yourself into? This woman is going to bleed you dry. BTW, Kendra Davis is LOVING this episode. I keep checking with Fulton County to see if she is suing her yet. So far nothing. But if she does I expect this show to be played in the courtroom. I love Sweetie taking notes on all this bullshit. Also that is one fugly dog.

Wait. Did I just hear Kenya saying she was not married before? She is out to a fake introduction luncheon with Porsha. Kenya has never done charity work. The Kenya Moore Foundation she is talking about was founded in 2000 and has been inactive since. She is the only employee. Love her face when Porsha asks if she is married. You can tell this is a sore subject with Kenya. She was married to Rudolph Moise allegedly. There was some speculation that they were not officially married and that the wedding photo going around was from Haitian Nights a movie he produced and she was in. I forget all the details but the movie was dumped mid filming and she supposedly then “opened a production company” to get the movie finished. I don’t think it was ever really shown anywhere. Sorry, I didn’t see this episode bringing it all up or I would have looked into it further. I am sure I have some details wrong. Love Porsha pushing this married and babies thing. Kendra is irked. Love it! OMG I love Porsha trying to help the elderly lady Kenya get pregnant.

I wasn’t planning on liking Porsha but I do already. She seems real. She has no problem saying she is married to a baller and doesn’t work. Good for her. And although I am not a fan of Hosea Williams, I think she does great things for the charity. Love the whole “I don’t have to work, sweep, vacuum or anything!”

Nene is in NYC with Cynthia for NBCU upfronts. This should be fabulous. I’m kinda feeling Nene tonight but why am I just noticing her hair in her talking heads. Longer and blonder. I think before I was too busy coveting that shirt to notice. I thinking maybe that hair does grow out of her head. Loving Cynthia trying to drag Nene into the subway and eating street meat.

Kandi is moving and hand carrying her Grammy. Kandi didn’t sell her other house so she has a renter and has to clear out. She didn’t hire a moving company, she has her family there moving her.

Phaedra and Kenya are out at a bar. Phaedra is wearing a short skirt and I must say she is getting a bit thick in the thighs. For someone who supposedly works out a lot, that is sort of surprising. Phaedra seems to be trying to like Kenya. I don’t think this will last long. Oh lord, Phaedra wants Kenya to be in her donkey butt video. This whole desperation to get married on Kenya’s part amuses me. Kenya’s mother is mentally ill and she gave her away to her grandmother. Normally I’d have some compassion about this, but… it’s Kenya. Her behavior is appalling. I get she is broken but… really.

LOL at commercial where Phaedra butt dials Nene and gets in trouble for talking shit. See? Donkey booties are NOT cool!

Back to Kim and Kroy. Is it just me or does this seem like a really long episode? There was a garage fire at Kim’s house and despite being evicted Kroy wants to run fire drills at the place they are leaving in like a week? I don’t even think the fire happened during filming. This whole scene is weird.

Um back to Cynthia and Nene is NYC. It’s summer, it’s NOT RAINING yet they are suddenly doing the Michael Jackson black umbrella thing. Um… what? Cynthia knows better than this. People in NYC also don’t pester celebrities. The only reason people are taking pictures is because the cameras are there.

It’s time for Porsha’s charity event. There are only 30 people invited. I now get why Kenya says in the upcoming fight there were only five people there. Because basically there were. Seems odd to me. Oh, it’s at Hosea’s house. I don’t know why exactly but I never pictured him living in an expensive home. I’ll just not say anymore about that. Kenya’s talking heads are so much delusional bullshit. And um, her friends name is Kanya? Kanya believe that? I think her mother just did not know how to spell.

OMG Porsha specifically said no men and Kenya has invited Miss Lawrence. While I get that is sorta straddling the fence so to speak, he does still have man parts. AND Porsha did not know Kenya had a plus TWO. Already Kenya is a problem. Cordell Stewart walks into the room and Kenya is GREEN with envy before anything even happens. Then she gets a Chanel bag and Kenya is literally about to kill herself. She may have fucked Mike Tyson and Jay Z but she couldn’t hold on to anyone. Plonk! LOL at Kenya comparing herself to Michelle Obama.

This may be my favorite episode of RHOA ever. Porsha’s dress is pretty awful. But all in all a great episode. Can’t wait for the next one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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