I am so excited for tonight’s Real Housewives of Miami episode and for tonight’s Watch What Happen’s Live. Here’s why.  Tonight’s episode was filmed way back in early April at the Star Island home of Donald and Lisa Pliner. Sidenote: They sold their house for $17million and moved to L.A. shortly after filming.  Donald is a shoe designer and his wife Lisa recently began designing shoes for his line as well. Lisa’s shoes have green soles and are advertised for their comfort as opposed to another designer of red bottom shoes which are notorious for being painful to wear. Anyway, Lisa’s shoes are featured in a fabulous runway show and everyone who is anyone in Miami was there. This is important because Marysol is a PR rep for a lot of the people in attendance. RHOM’s Elaine Lancaster, drag queen friend of the housewives and arch nemesis of Marysol, is the emcee of the event. What could possibly go wrong?

It seems Lancaster, who has made no secret that he blames Marysol for sabotaging his job offers, uses the stage to mock Marysol. The local news in Miami picked up the story because apparently the tension and drama was just that intense. CBS Miami quotes Lancaster as saying, “Well, it certainly is Miami’s who’s who. It’s very MacBeth-ish. There’s a lot of tension in the air like someone is going to get stabbed.”

Back in April I posted this about the event, “Elaine is rumored to have poked fun at Marysol Patton from the stage and again in a scene where Bravo producers forced a confrontation between the two. Marysol is said to have gotten emotional enough to have threatened Bravo that she would quit if things didn’t cool down. Bravo producers reminded her that she is contractually unable to quit and that comment allegedly resulted in a Bravo Drama moment on the grounds of the fancy estate. Marysol’s version is that she had to get back to work and was over the heat and stupidity. Or something like that. Whatever. I’m team Marysol I hope she adjusted Elaine’s wig a la Sheree Whitfield. Nothing brings the Bravo ratings like a good wig snatch.” So there will be drama!

But wait, there’s more. Not only will there be a catfight at the Pliner Shoe Show, there will be one of those notorious Housewives dinners. The producers of RHOM in an attempt to ramp of the drama seem to love putting all the housewives together in close quarters with a shit-stirrer. Our shit-stirrer for this party is Thomas Kramer. RHOA fans will remember when the ladies went to Miami and stayed at his house at the invitation of Kim. Or not. I barely remember it myself. My vague recollection was that he was sort of a sleazebag with a big house with a tacky design scheme. One wonders how this person continues to crop up on Bravo. Prepare yourselves because  Kramer is shopping around his own reality show.  Check out that link because I don’t want to get into all of his smut here.Basically, Thomas Kramer is either single-handedly responsible for making South Beach into a playground for the uberwealthy, or he’s a 56-year-old bi-sexual playboy who throws swinger parties at his Star Island compound and requires females hoping for an invite to submit pictures of themselves which he rates before deciding their fate. If you google Thomas Kramer you will have hours of fascinating and disturbing results to read. Most of it screams over compensating for a small penis to me. Your mileage may vary.

So why are the ladies at his house? I can’t imagine what the pretense for this will be. My Miami source says there were whispers about the RHOM producers Purveyors of Pop have um, shall we say a fondness for Thomas and his big…bank account. Since Lea defends him in the previews, perhaps she is the faux connection. I’m sure her husband would love to be his defense attorney since Kramer seems to have a lot to defend over the years.

Anyway, I feel the need to address the stripper pole in the middle of his dinner table. Because THERE IS A STRIPPER POLE in the middle of his dinner table. This is not just unappetizing, but unsanitary. I wonder if the menu includes a fish course, because…well let me just stop. So Ana Quincoces reacts to the utter disrespect at dinner… and, well. drama ensues.  We also see Joanna talking about how creepy the vibe of the house is in the previews. My guess is Joanna is not feeling Kramer’s stuffed German Shepherd and other creepy stuffed animals throughout the house. If she can’t deal with being in the room with someone wearing fur, I expect her to flip out at the Kramer compound. BTW, the compound is always available to be rented for any of your event needs. Bring hand sanitizer.

While there are apparently many reasons to be creeped out by Thomas Kramer, yelling at Mama Elsa tops my list. Nobody disrespects Mama Elsa! I fear tonight she is disrespected by Elaine and Thomas.  Can Bravo PUHLEASE stop  letting this dude buy airtime on the housewife franchises?

I wish WWHL was an hour tonight. Andy, please no games tonight. I want to hear Ana talk about the dinner and Camille Paglia talk about whatever she wants to talk about. Camille will probably talk about RHONJ she’s a big fan. I also hope that Thomas Kramer is the Jackhole of the century.