A Recap for my Favorite Followers of RHOM

Oh lord, supposedly Mama Elsa doesn’t know that Elaine is a man. WAIT WHUT? I backed it up three times and Lea is saying Marysol lost HER job because she didn’t support James. So this figures into what I read about Elaine working somewhere after Marysol saying it wasn’t a good idea and then Marysol lost the contract. Whatever.

Sidenote: Opera length Mikimotos on Lea? Pucci on Mama Elsa? Talking head multiple strands of seedpearls on Lea. If I had to be any HW ever, make me Lea Black.

Meanwhile, Marta, Joanna’s sister is moving back into the house. Whatever. I despise Joanna and whatshisface. If we don’t get on to the shoe thing this show is going to suck and all my twitter followers will hate me. Lisa Pliner is married to a shoe designer so she decided to design too. Sounds ridiculous but she designs for comfort so as an aspiring lesbian, I’m bi-curious about the concept. I guess I am a green bottom girl. Send me some in a size ten please, Lisa.

Wait, Lauren Foster is transgender? I LOVE  LOVE LOVE HER even before she threw shade on Elaine for wearing hand-me downs. She’s the bomb. OMG I love Lauren. “He’s told more lies than I’ve had (heart surgeries?)”  I love, love, love her!

Enter “Elaine” who brags all over the Internet how she makes “6 figures” and is THE drag queen to be reckoned with. Me and Lady Chablis of Savannah laugh in your face.  But Really, any drag queen at Underground Atlanta would not be caught dead in whatever you opted to wear on your head. Disgraceful to the entire industry.

To be fair here, we have a Purveyors of Pop Frankenbite moment. What is a frankenbite? Remember on RHONJ when Rich Wakile allegedly said something a bout his wife Kathy and fish? Well we have a Frankenbite where the prods overlay audio on a scene where the audio didn’t happen. I’m not a fan of Elaine but I can tell you whatever the frankenbite I didn’t understand was  seemed to show that Elaine was going after Marysol (who I am a fan of) didn’t happen. It was piss poor misleading editing. So the hype between Marysol and Elaine may be there, but WAY overhyped.

Okay Pause. First of all Lea doesn’t know these people. She really doesn’t. Lea is the “Mayor of Miami” she know everyone, but on RHOM she is always calling people “her loyal friend” and other such bullshit and she doesn’t really even know who they are!  In her day to day life, Lea could not be the least bit bothered with these people.  Okay let’s unpause.  Damn the Pliner’s have a beautiful house.

Anyway, Ana plays the whole “I’ve known Maryso for ten years”card and  Elaine shoots back you don’t know her. This is the truth on both sides. Marysol’s job is PR and she is not always going to reccomeend you Elaine.  The real story on THIS party is that you , Elaine are overpriced. You’re a drag queen. Miami is full of them. Marysol suggested some at lower rates that  CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS are just as good as you for less money. That was the deal. And might I add HER JOB to tell them. So you see it as interfering with your income, but really  it is just her good business sense. END. OF. STORY.  Lisa Pliner has money to burn so she went with you anyway. And you had to try to disgrace Marysol? Insult her elderly mother? SHAME ON YOU JAMES.

Ana, really? Blame the victim? I love you but no. Even Lea defended Maysol. Lauren who I called as my girl early on WINS. Elaine went on to be a giant cunt to Marysol onstage and there was a big blow up where Marysol left filming and the local news reported on the drama.

Looks like we have switched to Karent pretending like she knows Thomas Kramer. So YAY i will get to use this post next week.  Meanwhile, I’d like to rep for my homegirl. Here’s the ultimate….

Lady Chamblis..













Filed under Ana Quincoces, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Marysol Patton, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

26 responses to “A Recap for my Favorite Followers of RHOM

  1. I’ve never seen a drag queen with such a triflin, cunty attitude… and I go to Southern Decadence every year. Speaking of, I’ve seen better wigs and makeup at 6am on Bourbon & St. Ann.

    Besides all that, this is clearly another supporting cast member/shit starter.


    • Oops. Edit. God didn’t want this bit to exist.

      *Besides all that, this is clearly another supporting cast member/shit starter sent into to keep it moving. Like Marlo, but white and allowed to vote and carry a gun. I don’t usually use skin color to discern individuals, but that is the only visible difference. (GET IT?!?! She’s a man.)

  2. KM_Gross

    Can we talk about the dilusional mega douche that is Thomas Kramer?!

  3. Tc

    Why it’s invited to Bimini, I do not get. He’s just trying so hard to get camera time. It is pathetic. Give me more Lauren though! She seems ver funny. And easier to look at.

  4. Barbara

    Oh MMM gee – I loved this episode! I’m addicted to Bravo and the HW’s franchise and really didn’t think I’d like the Miami HW’s after last season but they’ve really brought the drama and fights this season. My husband watched the football game tonight so I had to watch it alone, so grateful for this blog I love coming here to read others “thoughts” on the show.

    Thank you Tamara!!

  5. karen

    Thomas Kramer mentally disturbs me. We must discuss.

    • PJ

      Karen, I totally agree with you. C
      learly this douche bag has no class, just bucks. I am so glad Ana walked out on him. I have been exposed to people like Thomas Kramer, nothing but bad vibes. You can tell he has no respect for women. It would be interesting to see if he did not have a “pot to piss in” if he would have a following?

    • Barbara

      The first time I saw Thomas was on HW’s Atlanta and he seemed nice. And if I remember correctly he stayed out of any drama. Last nights epi proved to me he’s quite entertaining when he’s going batshit insane. The dinner party cracked me up and I would have loved to have been a participant if only to point and laugh. I’m used to these women being strong and assertive with their type (A) personalities and last night at his party they all seemed to turn into sheep around him. Joanna was drunk, but even she went back to (apologize?) or I’m not sure what that was all about….She confronted him about insulting her but started it with “Romaine and I like you” crap. He must weld tons of power in FL.

      I would love Bravo to hire him just to show up at all the HW’s functions. His sole purpose to yell at the HW’s. It would be hilarious. Because last night he def won the biggest b!tch/most entertaining friend of a HW award. And, I didn’t think anyone could outdo the psychic from BH’s until Thomas came along, LOL!

      Most uncomfortable moment for me watching was when he asked Ana who invited her. I wondered why Karent or Marysol didn’t speak up? I felt bad for her in an uncomfortable way, and then realized its moments like this that make me watch they show. Pure entertainment. Love it.

  6. pughugs

    Elsa should not be on tv. Instead, her face should be posted in every plastic surgeon’s office as a public service announcement. I’m guessing she went to another country and had cosmetic surgery for a discounted price to save a few bucks. Why is she on RHOM?

    • Tc

      You are obviously too pedestrian to appreciate the glory of Mama Elsa.

    • Barbara

      Last night I found pic’s of Mama Elsa on the internet of what she look liked before surgery. I can’t believe a doctor could do that to a patient. I hope he got jail time.

      She was beautiful before the botched surgery. So sad.

    • Ms Urethra Franklin

      Mama Elsa is a wise, confident, & elegant woman, and her inner beauty radiates to the outside…..I absolutely adore her…

      I cursed the television last night at the distasteful disrespect spewed at her.

      I would rather spend eternity with Mama Elsa than Karen(t) or Hoanna…

    • Barbara

      I so agree with everything in your post Ms. Urethra Franklin.


  7. You are all my new favorites. Except for the one who is mean to Mama Elsa. That one can eat a dick.

  8. Tc

    Lets face it, Thomas disrespected all the women. With inappropriate comment about their bodies and sexuality. With “She’s on her period” when someone disagreed with him. To the SCREAMING. Sorry. You simply do not treat anyone like that in a social situation. Maybe your family in private. But not virtual strangers in your home on camera. Unacceptable and insane.

  9. shellbelle

    I just watched last nights episode and it was ridiculous… I have to say that I like Lea, however, after last night, I’m beginning to like her a little less. Did anyone else catch the smirk on her face when TK was going batshit on everyone? Either she’s got a nervous smile that’s not as annoying as Kuntrents- I mean Karents, or she got pleasure from all that. Karent was hanging all over Thomas smiling and laughing like a freakin’ hyena. I wanted to bitch slap her myself. Aside from the obvious stripper poles on the dining room table, did you notice the abundance of stuffed animals he had? As much as I dislike Joanna, I would’ve been creeped out too.

  10. I saw a bit of this again today. So much I miss by blogging while watching. Like the placecards. He’s worth 90 million and is placecards were folded over pieces of construction paper with a hand-written name.

    Thomas said he had been cooking all day, yet the were having fondue and french fries all cooked by the guests.

    Lea claims that Thomas is her “loyal friend” they don’t know each other.Neither did Karent or any of the rest of them.

    Lea claims Lisa Pliner and Elaine have been friends for 20 years but Elaine hasn’t existed that long. James came to Miami 12 years ago and first worked as big fat chocolate pussy or some such.

    There was more.

  11. girlnbayou

    decandence in New Orleans? awesome party if so. Love the costumes and revelry. I DO NOT like James/Elaine. He has a piss poor attitude and I think Marysol is right he is an attention whore. Look at how he acts on the show. I wouldnt hire him to do my event (if I had one). He cheapens it. I like Marysols mature ladylike attitude. oh and what about Thomas Crane? What a prick! I wouldve had to yell right back at him. You dont treat guests that way. I dont think any of what they did warranted his hissyfit temper tantrum. He certainly seems to lack cooth, candor and manners.

  12. James Davis moved to South Beach after relocating from Dallas on July 14, 1997 15 years ago….and Elaine/James knows Thomas Kramer very well….

    Elaine is in a new film entitled “The Crew” with Richard Dreyfuss and Burt Reynolds

    Elaine Lancaster is the illegitimate daughter of Burt Lancaster and Lana Turner

    Elaine Lancaster is serving as national spokesperson for Stolichnaya vodka

    JAMES Wants to write a book

    Most upsetting to James is that he feels Marysol’s dislike and snubbing has made his career suffer. He recounted a story of a restaurant he worked for that Marysol also handled PR for, James said the restaurant (who wishes to remain nameless) almost refused to hire him as a performer because of Marysol’s warnings.

    James alleges that Marysol was eventually fired from handling the restaurant/hotel’s PR and blames James for that dismissal.


  13. Ash511


  14. Lauren

    Thnx for your sweet words Tamara. xo Lauren

  15. Hey!! I said nice things about Lauren! That never works that way. The ones I rip usually stop by.

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