I’m torn as to what to tell you guys about the show before the show airs. I don’t want to spoil it for you. So I am going to sort of do a housewife by housewife group of short posts over the next few days or so. First up is Kim Zolciak! She’s baaaack!!!!

I know a lot of y’all want to say that she is a “friend” this season and not a housewife, but that makes no sense. Who is she a friend of? lol. Also she has an intro and do she’s definately a full fledged housewife. So that rumor can be put to rest. However, she didn’t go on the trips or that many functions and most of her scenes will be Kim and Kroy scenes this season. As I mentioned before the other housewives were pissed with Bravo because they had to attend a lot of stuff that Kim was excused from.

Pretty much every housewife had two scenes in the season premiere. Kim’s first scene is at home with Kroy and Sweeeeetie. It’s KJ’s birthday and they are opening some birthday mail. It may surprise you who sent a card and a check. Speaking of surprises, they talk about the eviction right away and are clamoring to get moved, though Kim wants to just squat. You can tell she does NOT want to move out of her “dream house.” I’ll let y’all hear about that first hand in a couple weeks. Meanwhile, the Biermanns get an estimate on moving costs. Let’s all guess the amount in comments. Whoever is closest wins! Prize not included. Void in Utah.

In Kim’s second scene she and Sweetie go out to see Kandi’s new house. Kandi’s house is in Cascade Heights where Former mayors Shirley Franklin and Andrew Young live. Hank Aaron also lives in the neighborhood. Kandi’s house is huge and is actually two separate houses on one lot. But it’s not good enough for Kim. Kim and Sweetie talk about locking their doors when they got of the interstate. Kim makes some decorating suggestions while not so subtly insulting the house. Kim wanted to make it clear that Kandi bought a foreclosed home, as if that was somehow a bad thing. Kandi paid cash for the house. It has an INDOOR POOL. Wait until you see what Kim has to say about that. People will be blogging about racism, for sure. Oh, and Kim practically named the baby after the neighborhood she doesn’t like!

Oh, Kim has this super straight wig in her talking heads. I kind of like it.

By the way, Porsha won’t be getting a review from this episode because I don’t think she was on it at all. If she was clearly it was forgettable. Porsha was hired well into filming. Perhaps to replace someone? I don’t know. I’m just saying hiring someone so late in the filming makes it seem like there might be a spot to fill. Maybe Kim? Maybe Kenya? We shall see.

I’ll have more scoop soon. Don’t forget to guess the moving price!

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