Somebody cover me, I’m taking one for the team and watching another Wendy Williams episode. She’s just awful. I understand that Tre decided it would be more glamorous to change the pronunciation of her last name from “Jew Dice” to “Judy Chay” and that it’s stupid, but Wendy just announced her being on the show with some third bizarre pronunciation. I kept trying to like Wendy and I sort of did before I started blogging and reading the actual gossip on the Internet. Before, when she was the first and usually the only person I heard my gossip from, it was easier to like her. Now I just cringe at all the wrong information she spews out every morning.

As we cut to commercial, Wendy says, “Teresa Judy is up next.” This has to be deliberate right? It’s impossible for a TV host not to know how to pronounce the name of a regular guest on her show even if she did decide to change the pronunciation. Right? This does not bode well for the interview. You’ve got to hand it to Teresa for even showing up today after two bad Anderson Cooper interviews last week and then the reunion airing last night.

Here we go. Wendy tells Tre right away that she is in a safe place and implies she is not going to ambush her. Wendy starts with a clip from last night of Jac swearing on her kids life. The word “autistic” was apparently removed for daytime in the now infamous swearing on your kid’s life scene.

Wendy asks Tre about Kathy’s surgery and Lauren’s surgery. Why? Does Tre not have enough interesting stuff of her own to talk about? Teresa is answering those questions as gracefully as possible. Wendy gives her opinion, saying Kathy has had more surgery than she has. I think Kathy’s surgery was very minimal, it’s her hair color (and weave) that made the dramatic difference. Teresa says that she and Kathy were very close and Kathy used to spend every weekend with her family on their boat. “But then I was good,” says Tre, as if to imply Kathy liked Tre as long as Tre had something for her. AGAIN, we waste time talking about Lauren Manzo’s lap band. WHY? I don’t understand why this is a topic for an interview with Teresa! We don’t care. Tre points out that the Bravo edit last night made her look bad because they didn’t show Andy asking for her opinion about Lauren’s lap band. She spent way too long clearing up her opinion saying that Lauren is only 24 and could have lost the weight on her own before jumping straight to surgery. Tre said she thought it might be better to wait until after you have had kids to get a lap band and that she hears getting a lap band is not a healthy thing. Makes sense to me.

Now for the ambush Wendy promised she would not do. Wendy looks at Teresa and says, “You impress me as a woman, no offense, that does not have it all together up here. (gestures to where Wendy’s brains should be) There is something wrong with you Teresa.” The audience laughs. No other housewife gets this sort of treatment and it’s not right. Teresa probably does have something wrong with her. They all do. Why is Tre always the one singled out? I’m feeling the teeny tiny Tre Hugger come out in me here. Not because I am a Tre fan, but because I hate when one person in a group is the scapegoat for the behavior of everyone. And because Wendy Williams is an annoying twat. Mostly that last thing.

Wendy says that every is accusing Tre of setting up Melissa regarding her being a stripper. Tre goes to her famous “if you really watch it…” line much like her “if you really read it..” line about the cookbook jokes. Essentially, she says we are all just looking at it wrong. Which we could be. Then she very subtly says that everyone in the cast knows that some big thing always happens at the Posche Fashion Show and that no one ever knows what that will be. She sort of implies that she was nervous thinking that the big deal was going to be her and Caroline Manzo because they fought in Napa and had not seen each other since their altercation. Sounds like this is what production told her to expect.

Wendy interrupts again so she can give her opinion on Kim D and Tre says, “There are two sides to every story. Sometimes people react, you know do things, because something was done to them.” She appears to be talking about Kim D here. I have no idea what she is trying to imply. Then she says Kim D comes on the show and tells what really happened. Wendy continues to talk about how bad Kim D is and asks Tre why she is still friends with her and if she is trying to get Kim D on the show to be Tre’s ally.  Tre says that on the reunion we will see that Kim D is very close with Jac and that they used to talk for an hour and a half every morning. Lord, Jac has a lot of time on her hands. Doens’t she have children? It sounds like Kim D has a good chance of coming on next season. That was one of Tre’s non denial denials. I hope I am wrong.

Wendy brings up Jac’s past saying she is not innocent either. Wendy takes the opportunity to accuse Jac of being a stripper. Tre says that Chris told her husband that Jac was a stripper. Tre also says that Jac told her “she (Jac) did it once, you know, she danced for a guy and never did it again.”  Tre tells the audience, “Sorry, Jac.” and then seems to realize what she just said and interrupts Wendy for a change of pace saying, “Now, If something happens to me you will know who it was. You got Rosie last night wants to cut my tongue off…” Wendy jumps in saying we didn’t see that last night. (Um yes we did, Wendy) Oh Tre, you were doing okay up until this point.

Wendy rolls the clip of Melissa saying Tre roughed her up. Tre says that never happened. She said that Jac brought up last night that it happened in a parking lot and her friend saw it. Tre says she never left the party. So I guess Tre is still there? Tre says Jac didn’t have any friends there and implied that Jac was just stirring the pot. Tre also said that the owner of Space Odyssey where the party was held was there, in the studio, and can substantiate everything Tre is saying. Okay, Tre didn’t say ‘substantiate” but you know what I mean. The owner’s name is Elvira, but sadly we didn’t get to see Elvira.  Then Wendy interrupts Tre’s Space Odyssey story without letting her finish to interject her thoughts once again, ”I am so disgusted with all of you all. You all have changed so much.” Side note: If I had to name the black dress with the long lace sleeves she is wearing today, I’d call it “The Elvira.” I’m just saying.

Back from commercial and Wendy says Tre’s name wrong again. Teresa tries to help her pronounce it. It’s kind of like when you go to a foreign country and you have no common first or second language with someone you need to speak to so there you are, an American and a Romanian fumbling around in broken French. Anyway, during the break Tre tried to finish the birthday party story and so Wendy is actually going to let her get a few more words out. Essentially, Tre says the arm twisting story is BS and a PR stunt by Melissa to gain some sympathy before Melissa gets physical with Tre a the reunion. Point Teresa.

Wendy Williams asks about the cast shakeup she keeps hearing about. Tre says nothing has been decided. Wendy asks if she is coming back and says that no one in the cast wants to film with her. Our clueless heroine responds with,  ”I don’t think they don’t want to film with me.” Wendy said “WHAT?” and made her ugly surprised face and the audience laughed. Tre says “Do you think Bravo is going to let me go?” Tre also said she is not going to let her castmates scare her away. Then once again instead of letting Tre talk,  Wendy launches into a soliloquy about who she thinks should leave and why. It’s Kathy and Jac if you care… I don’t. Wendy talks about Jac’s twitter addiction and Tre chimes in that Jac tweets her all the time. She suggests we go to her blog to see the tweets. Except the blog is about her textesezzzez, not her tweets. Tre then said that Jac said, “Gabriella looks like someone else and is not her daughter and that she looks like her ex.” That was not a typo. That is what Tre said. /sigh

And we’re back to Preachin’ With Wendy Williams. A long tirade this time that has a question at the end about whether Tre would trade having her family back for the show. Tre responds with, “I didn’t sign up to do a reality show with my family.” She goes into her “they came on the show behind my back” story. Again. Tre says Melissa is now saying she has been torturing her for eight years. If that is true, Tre wonders why Melissa would want to come on a reality show with her? Wendy goes back to preachin’ and then asks the question again, “Would you get off reality TV to have your family back?” Tre says “I would love to have my own cooking show.” Wendy blurts out, “Nobody wants to watch that!” Teresa gets all shrieky, “Why? Why?” This is just unwatchable TV now. Wendy says nobody watches Dina’s party show and Tre says she does. Wendy says, “You are the only one!”  And maybe, just this once, Wendy is right about something.  Tre talks about how she can make her cooking show fun. She offers, “I’ll bring Milania out and she can pick out her birthday cake!” Oh lord she wants the kids on her cooking show. Will the madness never end?

Wendy asks if Danielle Staub is coming back. Tre says no. Wendy says, “What they need to do is bring in a couple of people that you like, but not Kim D and we will give you one more season.” Even Tre was offended by that condescending remark and says “Gee thanks.”  “One more season Tre and get it together!” bleats Wendy and then she closes the show saying, “This is Teresa, everybody give it up for her!” Because after six tries in five minutes Wendy still can’t say her last name. Lord she is awful.