Is Katherine Jackson walking home from Tuscon? If I recall correctly, this whole fiasco began when Randy sent some quack doctor to her home and told her she needed to fly to Tuscon to rest rather than taking an RV.  This morning, Randy said she was on her way home. How long does it take to get home from Tuscon?

Alan Duke just told us on HLN that Katherine has a cell phone and is in a car riding home and is talking to people. She is realizing for the first time that she was the focus of international news and seems shocked and confused. Perry Sanders, who is Katherine’s lawyer, says he spoke to her in the car and she sounds fine and dandy and this is all a big misunderstanding. Sanders doesn’t seem have any problem with Katherine up and leaving the kids and just brushes everything off as a non-event. Sanders says Katherine is totally competent to raise the kids. Sanders met with Janet and Jermaine in Tuscon yesterday but he was not able to see Katherine.  He doesn’t seem to think that is weird, She was just on a vacation. Nothing to see here.

Marlon told HLN he had a plane on standby to get her home today. She talked to all her kids this morning. Marlon said Randy told him his mother was at Canyon Ranch in Tuscon and he later found out that was not the real location. Apparently someone from Team Randy decided to drive the 82 year old five hundred miles home rather than let Marlon fly her in.

TMZ is reporting that the phone call that distressed TJ last night occurred at 2 a.m. and again at 4 a.m.  and that Katherine was demanding Trent and the entire security team be fired and replaced by Janet’s security team. The biggest mystery of all is why Janet seems to be on the wrong side of this war.  Maybe Janet’s finances are not what we believe them to be? It just seems to me she would be on Jackie’s side. And Jackie is reportedly FURIOUS at Team Randy.  TJ claims that Katherine sounded drugged and was not speaking in a normal fashion.  So she was up all night drunk dialing people on whatever they have her doped up on and today she is just fine and healthy in a car?

In other news, we knew it was bound to happen, Joe has arrived at MJ’s kid’s house. TMZ says he was seen there yesterday and today. I guess he is waiting to see if and when Katherine will turn up. It seems odd to me that Katherine is not home yet, even driving. It’s about an eight hour drive. Again, why would you put your mother in a car, when a plane is all gassed up and ready to go? Are they waiting for the drugs to wear off? Speaking of drugs, Joe apparently had some sort of medical professional pay him a visit at the kids house. Wonder what his problem is? Good Grief.

Meanwhile, La Toya, who is in LA, is tweeting about the Colorado shooting, and the earthquake in Marina Del Ray and her usual “love, light and positivity” stuff she always tweets. I picture her with her fingers in her ears singing “la la la la la I’m not listening la la la la”.

This just in, Katherine Jackson called into ABC to let us know she is just fine and dandy. She told ABC News “There are rumors going around about me that I have been kidnapped, I am here today to let everybody to know that I am good and fine. My children would never do anything to me like that.” She says she “gave up her phone and didn’t want to have any phone calls.”  And that she is “devastated that while I’ve been away, my grandchildren have been taken away from me, and I’m coming home.”

So twelve hours or so after Randy says she is on the way home, she is still “coming home” I ask again, is she walking? hitchhiking? riding in an ox cart? What?

And yes Katherine, it makes total sense to go on vacation without telling the kids you are legally responsible for or any of your children who were not in on the kidnapping vacation that you are leaving, or where you are going, or how long you will be gone for. When you abandon children in your care for days and days, they get taken away from you. You’ll be lucky to be allowed in the house, as it doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to the estate, which is essentially the kids. You may have to shack up with Joe in Vegas or something until you get clean from whatever it is you have been on during this time. You did have one of Michael’s crooked doctors caring for you. Jackie needs to take you to your real doctor and demand a drug screening.

And that’s the latest episode of All Katherine’s Children. Thoughts?

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