Suffice it to say, Teresa Giudice had an interesting night last night. She was all over NBC for two hours of prime time last night finally getting her comeuppance on Celebrity Apprentice.  Everyone seems surprised that Teresa lasted as long as she did making it to the top five. I wasn’t that surprised. Teresa went into the show with a plan to keep her mouth shut and do whatever it took to get through each task unscathed. Gone was the gossipy, table-flipping Teresa. The Teresa we saw on Celebrity Apprentice was a team player. She did whatever she was told even when she had no clue what she was doing. As a team player she took on small jobs that would not be the focus of the boardroom and concentrated on getting everyone to like her more than others on the team. That was not a particularly hard task considering how unlikeable some of the other players were. When forced to step up as project manager, she allowed stronger players to guide her decisions and made sure her team was on board by asking everyone for reassurance. It turned out to be a very successful strategy. Even so, Teresa was fired last night for as she so aptly put it, “overlooking” her entire project.

Teresa also seemed genuinely interested in her charity, Nephcure.  Perhaps she just has a good PR agent but Teresa talked about Nephcure on twitter and mentioned individual kids who needed help. That is more than most of her D-list celebrity counterparts did. Teresa doesn’t have a lot of intelligence but she used everything she had to her maximum potential. She’s branded herself as an author who can’t read or write, a cook who can’t pronounce the word ingredients or cumin, and a good parent of out of control (but adorable) children. That is quite a feat. She’s also amassed a following of rabid fans who believe the entire shebang. It’s genius marketing.
And then there was last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

These same Teresa fans watched what I can only assume is the same show that was transmitted to my rickety ole TV last night fully convinced that she is the victim of mean girls, haters and bullies. On Real Housewives of New Jersey last night I saw someone once again getting her comeuppance. I can’t explain to you what “Team Teresa” saw. I’ll let them flood the comments with their perceptions of the show.

Some of what we saw was sort of inexplicable. There were three main issues last night and all of them have Teresa right at the center of them. That is the cue for Teresa fans to say that there would be no show without Teresa. That may be true, but that doesn’t mean that Teresa is in the right and the victim of bullying.

The biggest issue, which has been an issue since last season is that Teresa is PISSED that Melissa, and to a smaller degree Kathy, are on “her” show.  Despite Teresa constantly spewing her “family is everything” platitudes, the bottom line is Teresa does not like Melissa or Kathy and has no desire to mend the family unit. Teresa’s fans scream that Melissa is jealous of Teresa. Melissa fans scream that Teresa is jealous of Melissa. The fact is that long before there was a RHONJ Teresa hated Melissa. Bravo knew that and that is why they brought on Melissa and Kathy. Drama sells. Two of the three relatives try to maintain an appearance of civility and one runs to the tabloids to put down her family for money. These seem like indisputable facts to me. Apparently not so for Teresa fans. So the other two issues of last night’s episode are mired in that swampland of family dysfunction.

As someone who has a brother who had a wife I was not particularly fond of, I cannot fathom calling him up and telling him that his wife of seven years was a gold digger who just wanted his money. I don’t see that in Melissa, but even if she was at every appearance alone and throwing her inappropriately-dressed self at every man in the bar with expensive shoes on, I’d keep my mouth shut. Especially if the relationship with my brother was already strained. If you need to gossip about your sister-in-law you do it with another sibling, or your best girlfriend. Teresa doesn’t seem to have either of those. Teresa’s comments to Joe Gorga were mean, hurtful and unfounded. I don’t believe for a minute anyone was telling Teresa bad things about Melissa. I believe those are Teresa’s thoughts conjured up in her own under-developed brain. There is nothing positive or helpful about telling a sibling that their spouse is a gold digging whore. It doesn’t come from a place of family harmony. Teresa needs to apologize sincerely, face-to-face to both Melissa and Joe and beg for forgiveness if she wants to mend the family. I don’t believe that she does. Last night Teresa had the nerve to blame her brother for repeating the horrid comments to his wife. Teresa never accepts responsibility for anything.I believe that she will continue this sort of shit-stirring solely for the purpose of having a storyline. She is willing to destroy her family on national television in order to make a buck.

Speaking of selling your soul to the devil, the final issue was the tabloid story she sold to In Touch about Joe Giudice’s arrest. Last week we saw Teresa talking to a shirtless Joe about her concerns that GiaYou can put it all out there for a paid tabloid story but you can’t discuss it with your own friends and family? They aren’t allowed to mention it to you? Really? That makes sense to Teresa fans?
In the end we find that no amount of fairies and third eyes can resolve the issues that surround Teresa. What sucks is that because of all the drama, we missed seeing any readings from the psychic! What we did learn is that when a psychic shows up on a reality TV show, things generally go to hell in a handbasket. We also learned that dangling religious symbols from your rear view mirror does not work as a reminder to follow the golden rule or love one another. Jesus take the wheel!
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