Kim Zolciak is NOT From Atlanta

Last night Kim Zolciak looked dead into the camera’s eye and said, “I’m from Atlanta.” Now I’m used to over looking Kim’s little lies, like saying she quit smoking during her pregnancy. You can see photographic evidence of that lie here.  She tells little white lies about being a size two and not really drinking that much and other things to make people view her in a better light. I’ve come to accept that. But puhlease, Kimberleigh, stop telling folks while on national TV you are from Atlanta. You were born in Pensacola and raised in Connecticut and didn’t show up here until you were 21. You are not now, nor will you ever be from Atlanta. Holding a peach on a reality show does not a Georgia girl make.
Let’s look at what you did last night compared to how a Georgia girl would have handled the situation.

The show began with the usual cute scene with Kim and KJ. These little opening interactions between Kim and that delicious baby are a testament to the RHOA production team. They are miles above the other franchises. From the big dramatic scenes in South Africa to these intimate moments, True Entertainment does an outstanding job. Next we see Kim headed out to the sticks to pay a psychic to tell her that her future in-laws don’t like her. We could have told her that for free!

UPDATE: Ratings are in and Tardy had great numbers. 1.453 million at 9:30 beating Punked and the Pauly D project on MTV. Even the replay at 11:30 brought numbers close to what Kathy Griffin’s show brought on it’s first run. Y’all might as well prepare yourself for a second season.

The rest of the episode was Kim trying to cope with a visit with the future in-laws while still dealing with her mother. A true Atlantan would have been cooking for days ahead, and making sure the guest rooms were spotless and the best guest towels were out and ready. Kim called her land lady/ interior designer to come over. I have no idea what Kendra did in the bedroom. My guess is nothing, and it was just another TV appearance for Kendra to keep the rent low. What you need in this situation is a maid, not a “designer.” This is an issue you can pay someone to take care of. You put out some fancy bath products and hope for the best. You try to make your guests feel welcome and expected.

Which brings us to dinner. I can’t imagine there being a woman alive who was born and raised in Georgia that can’t cook. That said, if there is such a creature, she would never serve guests, especially future in-laws, from plastic containers or cold pizza rewarmed on the back of some random “piece of metal.” I really want to believe this is a TV stunt, but sadly I don’t. An abject moron can roast a chicken with some vegetables and make a salad. I cannot believe you said to your mother-in-law that you’ve never touched raw meat (heh) and acted as though a can of beef broth was one of the world’s greatest rarities. This is not the way to make a future mother-in-law pleased with her son’s choice of brides. You missed an opportunity to actually learn how to cook something by behaving like a twelve year old at every turn.
Why didn’t you use the table set with the to-die-for Versace china for the in-law visit? Are you expecting a visit from the Queen of England or someone else more important? Versace china covers a multitude of sins. Which you had. Those blue and white everyday plates while more appropriate for reheated pizza did nothing to help the situation.

It’s really not Kim’s fault entirely. Clearly, her mother didn’t teach her anything with regard to cooking or manners. But you can’t try to package your spin-off as a the triumphant story of a single mother whose life turns into a fairytale and then prove to the world that those kids probably had to learn how to work a can opener at age four to get some Spaghetti-Os for dinner. You should have had Ariana teach you how to use the can opener before the kitchen scene. She seems like the only one in the house with any sense.

It was a nice touch to have Shun Melson there with some Mother of the Groom dresses for Kroy’s poor mother to choose from.  I’m not sure what she was more thankful for, that she didn’t have to pony up for her own dress or that your mother was unable to attend because “she was sweating and had to put on some deodorant.” Kroy very kindly tried to explain to you that it will take some effort on your part to change his parents opinion of you. You really should listen to him. Unfortunately, you are going to have your hands full with your own mother. I can’t wait for the scene where the police are called to remove her from your reception.

Somehow I still like Kim. Sure she’s flawed, but bless her heart, she’s happy. The world needs more happy people, even if they are damn Yankees who transplant themselves in Atlanta.

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20 Comments

Filed under Don't Be Tardy For the Wedding, Kim Zolciak, Kroy Biermann

20 responses to “Kim Zolciak is NOT From Atlanta

  1. I like Kim. I cant help it. She's grown on me for some reason. She's funny and I think she kinda knows she's ridiculous so she's in on the joke with us. Oh, and I'm from Georgia too and I know a whole lot of Georgia girls who can't cook. Or maybe won't is a better way to say it…I wasn't too bothered by her saying she's from Georgia. I don't actually think she meant 'born here' from. She said on one of the housewives specials where she's from I think. I gotta love your allegiance to the Peach, though.

  2. It is kinda hard not to like Kim. And I refuse to acknowledge the non-cooking new generation of peaches. :)

  3. Tamara, you are a piece of work. I can not imagine how you can entertain such ignorance as Kim Zolciak. Is she happy? Sure. But how can you honestly promote and support a woman who has made a living off of a dirty mouth, sleeping with married men and acting like a 12 year old.We get it you love her. Since you love praising Kim so much tell us how her breast milk taste, since you can't seem to get off her tit.

  4. I am not surprised, kim lies so much that she believes her own lies. I was more mortified but those awful pictures than by the food. Out of respect for her in-laws, couldn't she just have the pictures removed for a week until they were gone?

  5. This post was too many words for you wasn't it? Psst, I didn't praise Kim for anything. In fact I am waiting for her fans to come call me a hater.

  6. I'm not watching this show. There's only so much immature and childish behavior that I can take from an adult, and Kim surpassed that on the RHOA a long time ago. I think the fact that she calls Kandi one of her closest friends, but refuses to pay her for the song that she did for her speaks volumes to me.

  7. I don't watch the show either. There is only so much of Kim I can stand. She has know dignity or self-respect. Not one ounce of class. I think she hasn't paid Kandi, because she doesn't know any better.It doesn't seem like she's had much home training.Her parents seems a little off. She lies and think nothing of it. Kory, what is this guy thinking. My advice to him is "Protect Yourself".,

  8. I think you overgeneralzing that comment I'm from ATL. I do not believe she meant it as in okay im born and raised in atl, i believe she meant it as where they do that im from atl as in where she lives. I have to admit she is boring on RHOA well the last season but i do like her on tardy for the wedding…but reality tv is just that it doesnt last…its meant to entertain u

  9. Kim saying she is from ATL is no big deal to me. I really dont care where she is from. I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. I love Kims new show. She is great without all of the screaming and name calling and gossip.

  10. Anybody who don;t like Kim is a hater yeah she may have slept with a married man but how many women sleep with men for free at least she paid…… Now get your life

  11. I tried to watch an episode last night but I couldnt take it after kim pretended not to know how to open a can of chicken broth. What? From what shes said in the past before she met bp, she was a full time nurse and raised two children…all that time they never ate food from.a can? Please. And she and kendra are not bffs so im not sure why it was made to look like that. And why is she smoking with her kids right there? At least kroy had the sense to move kj far away. Nonsense. True nonsense.

  12. Love your blog! Ladies – those of you who posted negative issues, lighten up. This is a reality show, not the network evening news. Who cares what she says…do yall actually think this is her real life? If you do, switch off Bravo. On Kim's comment about being from ATL. I moved to ATL in my 20's and stayed for 20+ years. To this day (many years later) I still say I'm from Atlanta! Whether she cooks or not – who gives a good _____? Obviously she snagged Kroy with other charms and they seem very happy. With the country as it is, watch Kim for some old fashioned humor and giggles…cause that's all it is ladies. For the record, I'm not a Kim (nor anyone else's) fan…just trying to lighten up the chatter.

  13. Ivy

    I really dislike this trend of reality show people getting their own shows. I preferred the old days when once the season was over they would (at least temporarily) fade into oblivion.

  14. I'll hate myself in the morning for saying this, but I like this spin-off. They've managed to put Kim in an entertaining light. Yeah, I still think she's a overdone escort, but I have watched this twice now and not turned the channel. Bravo must be doing something right.WD

  15. Kim on her reality show is different from Kim on RHOA. There is less drama, less bickering. It is clear she loves her family and is happy. I'm glad for her.PS-Doesn't Usher claim to be from Atlanta but is really from Tennessee??

  16. I have not watched kims show nor do i plan to. I would mute her scene while she was on atlanta housewives. While i dont think she is a racist, the way she talks to these women is totally disrespectful…I think she feels shes better than them now. Look at how she did kandi- she owes kandi money and doesnt feel like she has to pay her, and i know she can afford it…..just my opinion.

  17. You must be like a 5th or 6th Generation Peach judging by the way you came at Kim's neck. Your ancestors must've kicked it with Scarlett and Rhett and em. I, a Proud Peach, don't take offense to Kim saying she's from Atlanta. This is the place where she lives. Isn't the saying, "It's not where you're from, but where you pay rent"?

  18. I like her, she cracks me up, but seriously she is NOT a size 2 and since she insists she is a size two I would really like to know what size she is….in an upcoming episode they show her daughter trying on a size 6, is she saying she is two sizes smaller than her tiny little teenager, don't think so!

  19. Real Housewife Of Mississippi

    I agree! Has she forgotten her days @ Cheetah’s
    as Barbie?????? EVERYbody has some sort of
    past (good and/or bad) but REALLY??!! She needs to own hers already! And a size “2″-OMG!
    Take a look @ her pics & you can tell how MUCH work she’s had done! However I do say Congrats on her new addition -$Kash$ ! Poor innocent adorable children. I also agree, Kroy
    looks awful & haggard! And what’s that above his lip? Ha! She’s getting to him & his $!!!! I don’t blame his parents! Sad! I agree with many of your (Tamara) Fans-She really does look like a Drag Queen :-/ I’ve been to school for makeup & hair AND her grand reveal of her REAL hair-give me a break! A lot of extensions! Tamara, I LOVE your site! Great job-Keep it coming :) We come to the ATL alot-BUT we are from & live in Mississippi & proud of that fact, unlike Kim!!!!

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