Nothing is worse for a blogger than for something insane to be going down and to lose your Internet access. I am graciously powered by my wonderful neighbor who shares his access with me. (I refuse to do business with the cable monopoly in my town, but that is another story) So last night we had bad storms and more are rolling in tonight and that blows the antenna down so I was left with nothing but Plants v. Zombies last night WHILE ALL HELL WAS BREAKING LOOSE ON Watch What Happens LIVE! Had I been online I would have constantly been tweeting “ARE YOU WATCHING THIS?” It was the most amazing fustercluck I’ve seen on TV.
First of all, yesterday people were asking about Sheree. In case I haven’t been clear Sheree is not coming back. It appears my gentle sharing of that news so as not to upset the knuckleheads was not clear to the Sheree fans who seem not to want to believe it. If you like her send her an encouraging email. It’s not a good time for Sheree, she has a lot of Birkin bags she needs to sell to make ends meet. There are a lot of stories out there but this in not the first Sheree has heard of this. She knew when she was filming the finale which made for some great reunion moments because Sheree was not in her happy place. Get all the WWHL after the page break.
Back to the show, the RHOA had the best table in the house front and center and they all looked FANTASTIC. Especially Kandi. Did she have some work done? She looks different but I can’t place the changes. Thoughts? I was surprised Cynthia didn’t do an updo. But what was more surprising is that Nene didn’t strangle Ramona during the bizarre East Coast v. West Coast Housewives game. Ramona was drunk (surprise) and named the team captain. There were questions like whose show had the highest rated finale (DUH!) and what rapper mogul loves RHOA and Nene (DUH!) and Ramona didn’t listen to the RHOA so they lost because the extremely drunk west coast team lead by Vicki managed to guess one question correctly. Overall, the Atlanta girls were extremely well behaved and represented us well. The only weird thing was Kim not being there. I know she is pregnant but she is still traveling. She’s at the beach right now and flying to LA next month. She’s definitely returning to the show, it was just such a mature decision not to interrupt spring break with her family for a party. However, Bravo did not
mention her new show once, despite airing a commercial for it. Maybe they weren’t as impressed with her decision as I was. It is kind of important to go for upfronts when you have a new show. Kandi’s show was discussed and she seemed quite pleased to be getting her spinoff. Kandi was also taking tons of pictures even getting one in the elevator with Kathy Griffin!
In other Bravo news, Taylor Armstrong was there jumping around and screaming during the housewives game. This unfortunately means that news this week that she is returning is true. I was trying not to believe that one. Sadly, Brandi Glanville was not invited. I imagine this means she remains a “friend of the housewives” which sucks because she is in almost as many scenes as the rest of them she should be getting paid. I blame Kyle for anything that goes wrong on RHOBH. I’m officially team Vanderpump/Glanville. Speaking of the Lisa, she is on the outs with nearly everyone except Brandi since her brutal treatment on the finale. It seems that Lisa is doing well financially while Adrienne is having serious financial issues after losing all but 2% of their ownership in The Palm. Lisa didn’t participate in the housewives brawl or seem to be sitting with her cast other than photos. In fact, she may have ducked out after her sit down with Andy to plug her new show Sur. Hell, even Nene sucked it up and sat with the RHOA, though it helped that Kim and Sheree were both absent. Nene has also been tweeting veiled barbs at Sheree for being fired. She even accused Sheree of “biting the hand that feeds her.” Yes, I did in fact laugh out loud when I read that. There was a blond at the RHOBH table I didn’t recognize and wondered if it was perhaps Camille’s replacement. It just hit me that was Kim Richards. She looked COMPLETELY different. Seems like the rehab is taking and she is ready to film. Wow. Good for her.
Reza, GG, and MJ were there to represent Shahs of Sunset but we didn’t really get to see them on camera. MJ will be on WWHL this Sunday so mark your calendars for that. Overall the whole show was the sort of trainwreck that happens when Andy loses control of the women during a housewives reunion. Times ten. A one point Taylor did that thing she does when others are fighting and taking the attention of her by standing up and screaming “SHUT UP!!” It was complete chaos.The west coast girls seemed drunk even for them. RHOA were nuns in comparison. Jeff Lewis seemed to be off his happy pills and took a shot at Bethenny Frankel for making it through a brief interview with Andy without mentioning SkinnyGirl or A Place of Yes
. Bethenny sort of denied that her marriage is in trouble but I didn’t see Jason. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t there. I really hope things get better in that marriage. Jason deserves happiness at least. Kathy Griffin was there and seem NERVOUS. That was surprising.
The grand finale was fittingly Melissa Gorga singing On Display and Luann singing Money Can’t Buy You Class. Bravo loves to tell them they are lipsyncing and then turn on the mike so we were treated to Melissa with no autotune gyrating like a pole dancer. But nothing in the world is as delusional and therefore hysterical as LuAnn singing Money Can’t Buy You Class in her deep man voice. She did practically the entire number singing over her shoulder and shaking her ass at the crowd. She only turned around to try to drag a cringing castmate or two into her um choreography. It’s like the song is in some language she doesn’t understand and just likes the beat. She doesn’t get she is the poster child for classless. Andy gets it though and was drunk enough to let the evil, judgemental smile spread all over his exasperated face. Priceless.
And that, I guess, covers the most important stuff but certainly not everything. Andy was drunker than usual as were lots of other people. It seems they may have started the party too early. Why didn’t we see Real Housewives of Miami representing? Where was Teresa Giudice? Why weren’t all the Shahs there? And someone needs to check and see if Patty Stanger and Sandra Bernhard were dead because we managed to have the show without them. Thoughts?
Edited to add: Teresa just tweeted that she is also on Spring Break with her children in Mexico.