Hermain Cain Suspends Candidacy, Supports Pokemon

Photo Credit: Politico

Oh Lawd the politician’s wife is up there with Herman doing that stoopid stand by your man thing they all do. Here we go. He says he was inspired to run because of the failures of politicians currently in office. America deserves more than that. Like you know, someone with no clue about global politics with a history of sexual harassment claims and illicit affairs. He’s joking about how high his name ID is. Which is all he wanted. He’s got some books to sell, and some conservative talk radio to do, y’all.

And now it’s about segregated water fountains. He may break out in a gospel medley at any moment.
No no, now it’s about sports analogies. He’s in the final four! No, now he is taking Michele Bachmann’s I am YOU speech. This has to be his bottom, right?

Now about “those false and unprove (sic) allegations”, “I am at peace with my God, I am at peace with my wife and she is at peace with me”. The crowd cheers Gloria! Gloria! Gloria! and Gloria claps like a dutiful wife. You can’t make this stuff up, y’all she’s clappin’ like a fool.

So the whole president thing was just Plan A, y’all he is moving on to Plan B. Plan B involves blessing political pundits hearts and starting yet another website so he can be a voice for the people. He refers to the site as thecainsolution.com  which takes you to a supporthermancain.com page with a movie about the 9 -9- 9.  It’s all about CHANGE people. No really, send some change to that website.

Well I suppose that little website plan could solve his problem of what to do with his campaign funds.

He ends his speech with some words from the Pokemon movie. Again I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! “Life can be a challenge, Life can seem impossible, it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line, but you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me. Just look inside and you will find just what you can do. Just look inside and you will find just what you can do.”

He says he will be making an endorsement soon. I imagine the candidate he endorses will be one of those womenfolk he is so fond of.

Bless his heart.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Hermain Cain Suspends Candidacy, Supports Pokemon

  1. Never underestimate the hold Pokemon can have in one's life, and the life lessons it can impart. Gotta catch 'em all!

  2. I think he is officially 0-0-0

  3. Can he please just disappear now??

  4. I really felt bad for all the speakers before him who were trying to pump up the crowd about his campaign. Especially because this was the brand new opening of his Atlanta Mega Office.You'd think he'd have the courtesy to tell them not to try to rile up the crowd. He kind of made them all look like imbeciles.

  5. ah my little liberal friend, you of all people know his entire campaign looked liked imbeciles. But none more than GLORIA! GLORIA! GLORIA! She should have stayed home. I wonder what that arrangement will be.We are going to hell in a handbasket if we don't vote RON PAUL!

  6. Oh and it is NOT AN ANDERSON infiltration! #happydance

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